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Fandango

Reclaiming Individuality

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Pretty much everything here revolves around our fiancees. And it's hard (for me anyways) to remember that I'm also my own person aside from David. Kinda gets lost in the planning, waiting, etc, stuff. Now this has nothing to do with fiancee trouble or anythng...so don't read into it!!! But I was thinking 'what did I do before I met David?' and the truth was I had tons of friends, went out pretty much all the time...yes, clubbing, but also dinner with friends, going tanning, going to the gym, Margarita Mondays, etc. And obviously he was attracted to that or we wouldn't be here. He also did his own thing, and that was very cool with me too. We love each other sooo much that we want to spend every second together, but let's face it; we can't. Time differences and location make that impossible.

So here's my little tribute to individuality, and not losing yourself in a relationship. I'm going to make a concerted effort to try to remember not to spend every waking second thinking/talking about me & David. It's going to be hard....but I think we'll both prosper in the end!

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Me and Yacine decide almost everything together...

Don't get me wrong, I never said I wa cutting David out of my decision making process... :no:

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Lisa I totally understand what you are saying. But on the flip side of that, when we were out clubbing, tanning, doing things with our friends, etc, we longed to meet the man of our dreams. I have met the man of my dreams and I know you have too. There is nothing wrong with I becoming We.

For me, yes I did lose some things that I can't/don't do anymore, but the trade-off is soooooo worth it. I would not

The hard part is the whole long-distance thing, but know that its temporary and we will all be reunited soon :luv:


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Lisa I totally understand what you are saying. But on the flip side of that, when we were out clubbing, tanning, doing things with our friends, etc, we longed to meet the man of our dreams. I have met the man of my dreams and I know you have too. There is nothing wrong with I becoming We.

For me, yes I did lose some things that I can't/don't do anymore, but the trade-off is soooooo worth it. I would not

The hard part is the whole long-distance thing, but know that its temporary and we will all be reunited soon :luv:

All I'm sayin is there can be a balance. It's not this homogenized being where everything is 'we' this and 'we' that. I think most of us here are in each other's pockets just cos we're apart...cos I know Dave and I are not joined at the hip when we're together. Yes, we do things together, but we also do things seperately. And that's ok.

Sall I'm sayin B)

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Short answer is YES! Everyone needs a little quiet time, private time, their own space... whatever you choose to call it. It is ESSENTIAL in a healthy relationship to give each other some time alone. It's that time that let's you remember why you chose a life partner in the first place.

Women also need to remember that men cannot switch gears as fast as you can. When a woman comes home from work, for example, she can switch right into "mom" mode. A man on the other hand, needs some space and some time to "decompress", before jumping into the home routine, and getting out of the "office/work routine".

Good topic Lisa! :thumbs:


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I agree that it's important to maintain your own sense of identity within your relationship- you won't do all the things you used to as often as you used to, because a lot of it will be replaced by things you do as a couple. But that doesn't mean that every couple weeks, you can't go clubbing or have a margarita night. And your honey should have things he wants to do on his own with his friends sometimes too!

It's just finding the right balance. :thumbs:

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Martin has to poke me nowadays to remind me that I've got friends who want me to come out of my 'mushroom' every once in a while. >_>' And when I'm hanging out with them? "Martin this, martin that, blahblahblah, oh guess what Martin said today..." :whistle:

at least in this point in time I'd rather have mushy togetherness and no personal space...

Wow, I soooo understand how you feel. -paces- A few weeks until his visit...and I can't WAIT. We're already trying to figure out how we're going to get in and out of the car without letting each other go. O_o Any ideas? XD

Edited by Taichidi

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

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:oops:

Actually, I think I strayed a little off topic of what Lisa was asking, and will say once again... the short answer is YES, that we should maintain a certain amount of individuality, as that is what drew all of us together in the first place!!! Our relationships are even more unique than most in the fact that not only are we opposite sexes, we are also from different cultures, customs, and traditions. Though we may "adopt" certain traits and customs of our spouses/future spouses, we are still "individuals", and we must not only appreciate those differences, we must respect them and embrace them! :luv:


K-1 Timeline

11-29-05: Mailed I-129F Petition to CSC

12-06-05: NOA1

03-02-06: NOA2

03-23-06: Interview Date May 16

05-17-06: K-1 Visa Issued

05-20-06: Arrived at POE, Honolulu

07-17-06: Married

AOS Timeline

08-14-06: Mailed I-485 to Chicago

08-24-06: NOA for I-485

09-08-06: Biometrics Appointment

09-25-06: I-485 transferred to CSC

09-28-06: I-485 received at CSC

10-18-06: AOS Approved

10-21-06: Approval notice mailed

10-23-06: Received "Welcome Letter"

10-27-06: Received 2 yr Green Card

I-751 Timeline

07-21-08: Mailed I-751 to VSC

07-25-08: NOA for I-751

08-27-08: Biometrics Appointment

02-25-09: I-751 transferred to CSC

04-17-09: I-751 Approved

06-22-09: Received 10 yr Green Card

N-400 Timeline

07-20-09: Mailed N-400 to Lewisville, TX

07-23-09: NOA for N-400

08-14-09: Biometrics Appointment

09-08-09: Interview Date Oct 07

10-30-09: Oath Ceremony

11-20-09: Received Passport!!!

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:oops:

Actually, I think I strayed a little off topic of what Lisa was asking, and will say once again... the short answer is YES, that we should maintain a certain amount of individuality, as that is what drew all of us together in the first place!!! Our relationships are even more unique than most in the fact that not only are we opposite sexes, we are also from different cultures, customs, and traditions. Though we may "adopt" certain traits and customs of our spouses/future spouses, we are still "individuals", and we must not only appreciate those differences, we must respect them and embrace them! :luv:

Johnny, tell him what he's won!

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