LET'S TAKE A BREAK!

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Female Problems

Okay, Okay, it *finally* all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnocologist .

AND .....

When we have REAL trouble, it's a

HISterectomy.

Ever notice how all of the female problems start with MALES???

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.

They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.

After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

Question: How do most men define marriage?

Answer: A very expensive way to get your laundry done.

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got two girlfriends.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.

Married life is very frustrating:

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"

The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?"

She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"

[Ban Hammer 14,200]

Question: How do most men define marriage?

Answer: A very expensive way to get your laundry done.

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got two girlfriends.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

[almaty 19]

stop the hating

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