Filing in March

[HighwayStar 0]

Just want to thank you all for the kind words of support... I am sorry if I have come across like the archetypal 'glass half empty' whiner, but I can assure you I've tried to keep up my optimism for all this time, in spite of the almost two months lost at the beginning. However, when I've started seeing people who filed at the same time as us being approved, I haven't been able to stop myself from panicking.

I've posted here rarely, since I tend to be shy around forums when people seem to have known each other for a long time, therefore I have never said much about my situation. Besides the fact I'm probably much older than many of you (48 next December), and the way Michael and I met (which is mentioned in my timeline), I've always kept rather quiet about myself. However, there are reasons why I sometimes get very discouraged. In the past seven years, I've endured a lot of grief and disappointment (including the death of my beloved mother and of a number of friends and relatives), and when I met Michael I was on the verge of depression.

At present, I am very much alone. I have no friends in Rome, and my only contact with people is at work. Both my parents are dead, and I am estranged from my only brother because of his wife's intervention. I've never been married, and have no children. Michael is the only person who loves me, and cares for me - it is not just a question of being a lovesick fool. I am an adult half of whose life is already behind her, and who wonders how many good years she has left. I am afraid of being discriminated because of my age when I try to find a job (in spite of being highly educated and very fluent in English). On top of everything, my working conditions here are getting worse and worse, and so is everything else around me. I need desperately to turn a new page, but I'm mortally afraid of being trapped here without any hope of ever being able to be happy with the man I love.

I apologise for venting, and understand most of you could get a very negative impression from what I said. I assure you I'm not a bad person at all, and have never hurt anyone in my life. I love Michael more than anything else in the world, and don't ask for anything more than being able to be his wife and share a life with him. I wonder what kind of world we have created, where people like us are punished for the fault of having fallen in love with someone born in another country...

[KimandRuss 0]

sweetie, you dont need to apologize... we just want you to take a step back and look at it from the outside so you dont make yourself crazy with this.

I'm 38, so i'm no spring pup. I've buried a child, I buried my own dad at just 51 and lost many family members. I have a brilliant brother who has been missing for 5 years. I had a tremendous amount of weight to lose and keep off. I'm divorced after a 20 year relationship and raising two teenagers bascially on my own. I'm also working for myself and trying to pay my bills and mortgage after being home for 15 years with the kids. Russell and I met 10 years ago, online, whilst I was still married....

What i'm saying is that you're not alone ....and nobody is here to judge you. Shame on them if they do! All of us here just met not too long ago as well. It's this connection to the visa journey that brings us together. I can only speak for myself but I don't think I have a shy bone in my body. (hush mama nich! ) I've hosted my own forum for a decade now and my work is all online so that's probably why i'm as outspoken as I am.

You are about to enter a whole new world ....full of love and life and adventure! Go into with your head held high and all the confidence in the world! Everything will work out just fine!

[HighwayStar 0]

I know about your child, Kim.. Being a lurker, I read all your posts (which I have always loved btw), and I gathered as much. I usually am a rather sympathetic person, and I know so many people whose lot is much worse than mine. I also know what havoc the loss of a child can wreak on a parent, and I was so admiring of you when I read that. Such a loss is not easy to overcome, if this is the right word.

We had to wait some time for Michael to get his divorce too. We met three months after he had legally separated from his wife, a woman who very nearly destroyed him. He hasn't seen his kids for over a year, and is also estranged from his family. Reading this, I am sure everyone now will think, what a couple of antisocial people! Well, we are both good-hearted, decent people, though at present we have somewhat withdrawn from the rest of the world for a series of reasons. We are very much alike, even if our past lives were very different. I am the more open of the two, and this is why I am posting here on behalf of both of us.

Let's just hope that job thing was just one of the stupid rumours people like to spread like wildfire.. Unfortunately, I have to say, the US government is not very popular in Italy at the moment, and probably people tend to blow some things out of proportion. We'll see...

[pandora 0]

feel bad pasting this at this point - had interview today didnt go well need to get a joint sponsor - had medical on 20th june and had to go back for a second blood test and results wont be back till the 14th and that worries me sick on why it is takin so long.

I have never been dependant on anyone ever in my life and now i have to ask people that i hardly know to agree to sign an affidavit of support- i feel demeaned - guess i was brought up to be a proud gurl.

There is always something that upsets the apple cart and guess mine needs a new cart or does it need new apples?

but than again dunno why i am posting here as i read comment and post, get ignored or people quote my comments as being from someone else - guess not part of the clique that formed early on

ignore me am grumpy

[KimandRuss 0]

Thank you 'star'.. I appreciate your kind words. I was separated for years before my ex husband would sign the divorce papers. Not too sure why, we get along pretty well, but I finally had to hire a lawyer to get him to do the right thing. It's been quite the expensive and emotionally draining process! I hope your fiance gets to have a relationship with his kids... nobody has the right to keep children away from either parent unless there is abuse involved. That's the one saving grace with my ex... I want him as close to the kids as possible so I try hard to maintain an amicable relationship. Anything else would just be too emotionally draining to me and them. As far as those around you who are not supportive, it's simple really... you find new poeple that are to surround yourselves with. It's not always family! I didn't know the gov't wasn't popular with Italy.. shame considering that's where my family is from! My nonno came on the boat from Parma in 1920! Anyway, it will all work out for you... you'll see. Keep posting with us!

pandora, so sorry to hear your news. I dont really know what you mean by getting ignored or mis-quoting you and maybe you're just feeling awfully bad right now, but i'm sorry you feel that way nonetheless. Maybe the blood work just takes that long to get back to the Embassy? As far as the joint sponsor... hey, you're making a lot of changes to your life... for all the right reasons! I'm the strongest, most stubborn person I know so I can only imagine how it makes you feel BUT it is the strongest of us that know when it's ok to ask for a little hand up sometimes. It's really ok that you need this right now...dont feel bad. I imagine that once you have the new I134 and supporting documents that you can schedule a new interview pretty quickly?

[HighwayStar 0]

Very sorry about the interview, Pandora - I really hope things work out for the best for you, and - most important of all - everything is OK with your blood test. As to the Affidavit of Support, I find it ridiculous that they want the USC to prove they can support you, without even considering the foreign fiancé might be much better off than they are. Michael has a good job, and is a very hard worker, so there should not be any problems for him (in spite of the child support he has to pay) - however, I am the one who is financially better off, and I have my doubts as to my ever becoming a public charge.

Btw, my real name is Raffaella, though on forums I generally use screen names. The one I have here (and on a couple of other forums too) is the title of a Deep Purple song which I love. As my signature says, Michael and I share a love of rock music - he is a very good bass player, while I am just a very keen listener!

[Ana&Jeff 0]

Highway .. I am sorry about htat keep in mind that you are going to get over it and make your own happy family! Check on Kim she is awesome!!! hahaha

Yesterday Ic alled the Rio de Janeiro consulate they said they good my case on the system but the freakin "correios" which is the crappy company responsible for the mail here is on strike =/ so I am going to call back in 10 days and find out if they got my interview booked.

Aleena good luck!

Nich I hope you are having fun as much as I am hahahah

I hope evebody have a good day nad good luck tomorrow Highwaystar and JEssica I am keeping my finger crossed so you guys can get aproved soon!!!!!!

Ana

[Izoom 0]

Don't forget us too

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

Awww Pandora. What a disappointment. Don't fret about the co-sponsor. Half the people who post on VJ seem to be asking questions about co-sponsors so it's very common. I hope you guys can find somebody quickly and get all the papers together. If they don't feel comfortable sending their personal income and tax details to you, whom they don't know well, then they can send straight to the Embassy with your case number and names. I read that on the London website. So tell your fiance that can be done when he's recruiting somebody if they act reluctant.

And to everybody lurking....we are not a clique. We just like to talk (or rather type) alot. hahaha

We can't chat at you and share your frustrations unless we know you're there. PLEASE join in. Pandora, so sorry you felt left out. It wasn't on purpose. I was dying to know you since day one, because we had twin filing times and countries.

Highway , I sent you a private message. (Did you notice your star has a smiling face?) We don't think anything weird about you meeting on the internet. Didn't everybody?? And we just want you to quit fretting about being old or working for the government and all the scenarios that will drive you mad. Like I said, I had to quit checking USCIS because it was making me into a sad lump of a person. I know how you feel. We all do. I just said "Stop it" because I'm Mommy Nic and I talk that way. Absolutely no criticism or value judgements of you were intended. Just wanted to snap you out of the blues, lovely.

Vibes~~~~~ to you March/April people still waiting.

Vibes~~~~~ to Pandora to be smiling soon because she's got the K1.

[tuty 0]

We are very much in the same situation. I left most of my family back in Argentina. I have no parents here because my mom live s there and I havent seen her in 7 years. My two sisters are quite disconnected and care only about their own lives. I have no friends here either since Im divorced and the friends we had were mostly his. Im renting a small appartment and the only people I see is the teachers I work with at school, and that the majority is old, boring and bitter.... I have two boys here that live with their father and there are more connected to his side...I see them every other weekend. I feel very lonely and just hope that all this will end some day. Life is worthless without a partner...I just can't stand it....

[tuty 0]

GOOD VIBES!

[tuty 0]

LOL I posted the response in the wrong place! hahahahah,,,,goodnes!!! Just ignore it guys!

Pandora: Im sorry about the interview, but Im sure once you give them what they want they will give the K1...sometimes things dont go smoothly as we want them to, but at the end it will be aokay. I was thinking the other day that the K1 is just the beginning of a big head ache....lol can you imagine being married and even pregnant and having to apply yet AGAIN for their approval so you can stay there to live with your husband and child? thats crazy...I think I will get more worried having to wait for AOS interview! ......gosh!

Alina:Im biting my nails for you.....post something woman! whats going on???? what did they tell you?

[Jessica&Lute 0]

I think Michael calling would be a good thing. He's likely to get 3 different answers all from the same person but you never know one of them might be something you want to hear. He can ask whether your case has been assigned for adjudication yet. If it hasn't then no one will have even looked at what you do for a living so that panic can wait a while, if it has then it means it is sitting on someone’s desk waiting and you are due an update soon maybe?

Bex xxx

Hi guys-

I tried calling USCIS yesterday because now I am starting to worry because it seems like only April approvals are coming out this week and my case hasn't even been touched in 2 and a half months. I know sometimes the date order jumps around slightly, but it's been over two weeks now since others with my same NOA1 date were mostly approved. Anyway, I managed to get a person on the line, which was not easy, but they gave me zero information other than that which I already knew. I asked if my case had been assigned for adjudication, but she couldn't answer me one way or the other. Does anyone know how I can get someone on the line who can answer that question??? Also, I've read in other places that people can actually get a hold of someone working at the service center where their case is. Does anyone know how in the world we can do that??

I know it's probably a futile effort to try to get someone on the phone who can tell me anything about my case, but I just can't help but try!! I never expected it to be mid-July and STILL have no idea what's going on... SO frustrating...

Edited July 9, 2008 by Jessica&Lute

[BexandAlan 0]

Pandora. Hun I’m so sorry things didn’t go as well as expected yesterday. Just under a week isn’t a bad turn around for the bloods, I believe it takes them 2-3 days to get the results so I would say if you haven’t heard anything by Friday then you are definitely good to go. They aren’t going to send any bad results to the embassy for them to tell you they will call you if there is a problem. As for the co-sponsor issue, I think Kim summed it up brilliantly. It must be so hard to go from being self sufficient and full independent to being so dependant on somebody else but you are doing it for all the right reasons. As for being ignored, I’m sorry that you feel that way. I consider everyone here my big, happy VJ family, there are no entry requirements to this club. We talk a lot of rubbish in here to pass the time, don’t mistake that as private conversation, everyone is welcome to join in and to be honest I wish they would - I’m bored of Mummy Nichole and Kim!! (Kidding, I love you guys) Sending you lots of good vibes and big hugs

Bex xxx

Highway. You mustn’t apologize talking to us about how you feel, if I didn’t have these guys to come and stress out on I would have been under a train by now.. I’m sorry if our responses came across as we were judging or attacking your character. Each and every one of us has a strange and complicated story. Although it may look from our timelines that we have had quick and easy journeys so far many of us have been waiting a lot longer and overcome so many obstacles just to begin this process. The reason we were so quick to tell you to stay strong is because we have seen how debilitating this process can get it you let it take over. The first time I read your posts this morning I felt sad for you, that you were waiting and that you are so concerned and stressed out and then I went back an reread them and just thought …. Awwww what a wonderful story of true love. Nothing can take that away from you, that you found someone so perfect for you in everyway makes my heart smile. So many people go through life without sharing an ounce of love or happiness with another person. All of us here have felt that love that makes you want to climb mountains; swim oceans … move countries. Ok so right now this very second we are waiting and it’s devastating but in the grand scheme of things we are the luckiest people in the world.

Bex xxx

[BexandAlan 0]

Jessica. Sadly I’m not particularly surprised you got the answer you did. Alan had some fantastic conversations with USCIS when we were waiting for them to tell us what to do about our missing first applications. I think they have a leave your brain at the door policy. They just have these silly one answer fits all scripts that they are already reading back to you before you have even asked your question. The only thing I can recommend is keep on trying. In the end we got a rebel operator who actually wanted to be helpful and deviated from her script. (I have a little image of a breakaway group meeting in the cafeteria at lunch, slipping notes under the desk and disappearing never to be heard from again if the supervisor finds out they actually helped someone.) I have always been quite skeptical of those who say they were able to talk to an actual adjudicator; I would track down one of the VJ posters who have and ask them what they did to get through. I’m annoyingly impatient and struggle to sit back and wait especially when it’s something as important as this. I would hound them, ok maybe not hound them but I did push Alan to bend the truth when he spoke to them. “Oh but the last person I spoke to said this…” “hmmm well that’s strange because I was told this…” I think is has something to do with the secret breakaway group mentioned above, its like a magic key but it only works if you say it to one of the rebels, all of a sudden they are like oh you spoke to one of the brotherhood and they open up to you. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!

Aleena I hope your medical goes ok today and good luck tomorrow! I’m certain everything will be fine. Can’t wait to hear your good news!

I hope everyone else is well. I’m feeling super stressed about Friday now but looking forward to getting it out the way. Heading down to London tomorrow afternoon and staying in a hotel the night before, were going to see Grease in the afternoon after my

interview so I hope I get the visa otherwise I’m going to sit and cry through the whole thing. Oh on a happy note Nicholas asked me if I was going to marry his daddy last night and when I said yes he asked if he was invited to the wedding. He’s too cute. I asked him if he wanted to come and walk down the aisle with us and he said yes. I can’t wait to get over there to them both.

Lots of love xxx

Edited July 9, 2008 by BexandAlan