NEED SOME WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

[Missing.him 0]

Ok so here goes

I love this site first of all because it makes me realize i am not the only one~~ and the info is fantastic!!

I met the love of my life (david) a year ago... its been a rough road with me having a hard time with finalizing a divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. looks like that should be done within the next month (fingers crossed)

David and i spent a lot of time together for the last 6+ months. Now he is back in the UK and we are waiting to be able to file our 129f....

We have been away from each other for a month now and i feel like i could lose my mind ( i am sure many of us feel this way), Raising a 2 year old by myself, working, taking care of a home, winter weather in NY (YUCK) ,m some minor but nonetheless medical issues that affect my sleep. IT is awful without Davids daily support here. We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

SO anyway sorry about the rambling vent

BUT I AM TIRED and the process has not even started yet! I am sad for my daughter who misses David and does not understand why he cannot come to see her

How do you all stay so positive???

anyway just wanted to get that off my chest feel better that we are all essentially going through the same thing

misery loves company and all... but i want to keep a on my face!!!!

So i welcome all comments and messages to help keep my mind occupied for the next 8 months or so !!!

[no name 1]

Ok so here goes

I love this site first of all because it makes me realize i am not the only one~~ and the info is fantastic!!

I met the love of my life (david) a year ago... its been a rough road with me having a hard time with finalizing a divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. looks like that should be done within the next month (fingers crossed)

David and i spent a lot of time together for the last 6+ months. Now he is back in the UK and we are waiting to be able to file our 129f....

We have been away from each other for a month now and i feel like i could lose my mind ( i am sure many of us feel this way), Raising a 2 year old by myself, working, taking care of a home, winter weather in NY (YUCK) ,m some minor but nonetheless medical issues that affect my sleep. IT is awful without Davids daily support here. We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

SO anyway sorry about the rambling vent

BUT I AM TIRED and the process has not even started yet! I am sad for my daughter who misses David and does not understand why he cannot come to see her

How do you all stay so positive???

anyway just wanted to get that off my chest feel better that we are all essentially going through the same thing

misery loves company and all... but i want to keep a on my face!!!!

So i welcome all comments and messages to help keep my mind occupied for the next 8 months or so !!!

Deep breaths, we've all been thru it!

I'm not sure why you say so, but he can come visit.....

http://www.visajourney.com/faq/k1k2visa-application.html#4.6

[Missing.him 0]

Ok so here goes

I love this site first of all because it makes me realize i am not the only one~~ and the info is fantastic!!

I met the love of my life (david) a year ago... its been a rough road with me having a hard time with finalizing a divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. looks like that should be done within the next month (fingers crossed)

David and i spent a lot of time together for the last 6+ months. Now he is back in the UK and we are waiting to be able to file our 129f....

We have been away from each other for a month now and i feel like i could lose my mind ( i am sure many of us feel this way), Raising a 2 year old by myself, working, taking care of a home, winter weather in NY (YUCK) ,m some minor but nonetheless medical issues that affect my sleep. IT is awful without Davids daily support here. We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

SO anyway sorry about the rambling vent

BUT I AM TIRED and the process has not even started yet! I am sad for my daughter who misses David and does not understand why he cannot come to see her

How do you all stay so positive???

anyway just wanted to get that off my chest feel better that we are all essentially going through the same thing

misery loves company and all... but i want to keep a on my face!!!!

So i welcome all comments and messages to help keep my mind occupied for the next 8 months or so !!!

Deep breaths, we've all been thru it!

I'm not sure why you say so, but he can come visit.....

http://www.visajourney.com/faq/k1k2visa-application.html#4.6

He has been here 3 times on the VWP and the last time stayed the whole 3 months then when was denied a B2 visa November 26th , was told he would have almost a zero chance to come in under the vwp again...

[no name 1]

Ok so here goes

I love this site first of all because it makes me realize i am not the only one~~ and the info is fantastic!!

I met the love of my life (david) a year ago... its been a rough road with me having a hard time with finalizing a divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. looks like that should be done within the next month (fingers crossed)

David and i spent a lot of time together for the last 6+ months. Now he is back in the UK and we are waiting to be able to file our 129f....

We have been away from each other for a month now and i feel like i could lose my mind ( i am sure many of us feel this way), Raising a 2 year old by myself, working, taking care of a home, winter weather in NY (YUCK) ,m some minor but nonetheless medical issues that affect my sleep. IT is awful without Davids daily support here. We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

SO anyway sorry about the rambling vent

BUT I AM TIRED and the process has not even started yet! I am sad for my daughter who misses David and does not understand why he cannot come to see her

How do you all stay so positive???

anyway just wanted to get that off my chest feel better that we are all essentially going through the same thing

misery loves company and all... but i want to keep a on my face!!!!

So i welcome all comments and messages to help keep my mind occupied for the next 8 months or so !!!

Deep breaths, we've all been thru it!

I'm not sure why you say so, but he can come visit.....

http://www.visajourney.com/faq/k1k2visa-application.html#4.6

He has been here 3 times on the VWP and the last time stayed the whole 3 months then when was denied a B2 visa November 26th , was told he would have almost a zero chance to come in under the vwp again...

oh, if that's the case - you are correct. I'm sorry!

[DaniDimo 0]

Ok so here goes

I love this site first of all because it makes me realize i am not the only one~~ and the info is fantastic!!

I met the love of my life (david) a year ago... its been a rough road with me having a hard time with finalizing a divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. looks like that should be done within the next month (fingers crossed)

David and i spent a lot of time together for the last 6+ months. Now he is back in the UK and we are waiting to be able to file our 129f....

We have been away from each other for a month now and i feel like i could lose my mind ( i am sure many of us feel this way), Raising a 2 year old by myself, working, taking care of a home, winter weather in NY (YUCK) ,m some minor but nonetheless medical issues that affect my sleep. IT is awful without Davids daily support here. We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

SO anyway sorry about the rambling vent

BUT I AM TIRED and the process has not even started yet! I am sad for my daughter who misses David and does not understand why he cannot come to see her

How do you all stay so positive???

anyway just wanted to get that off my chest feel better that we are all essentially going through the same thing

misery loves company and all... but i want to keep a on my face!!!!

So i welcome all comments and messages to help keep my mind occupied for the next 8 months or so !!!

Is hard to stay possitive, but you have to push yourself, thats what I am doing.

Jan 6th is gonna be the 7th month that I am apart from my husband....I miss him a lot!!! And this visa process is seems to be like forever.

So, according to my schedule from my work I am more then happy that I work tomorrow (retail store) and my job is the only place that keeps my mind busy(I am hoping this gonna be the last new year been apart from my man).

And remember, you are not the only one who is struggling with being apart from your love of your life, there is a many of us, especially here on VJ.com

Happy New Year!!!

[Jodinjames 0]

Hi,

I feel your pain. My Jamie has been gone now for 7 months, I have been to see him once in England and we have met half way in Canada(I am in California)...we talk on Skype every day and some days are harder then others. It's a wierd place to be in, knowing you have someone but they are not here.....all of my single friends want to go out and meet guys and my married friends are doing the couples thing so I am stuck. But keeping a positive attitude is important, being around family and friends that care about you, and trying to live for today instead of just passing the time....I think the holidays are more difficult then other times because you want to be together and with the person you love. Have you considered trying to have him come here on the vacation visa and then getting married? We wish we would have done that because we will have been going on a year by the time everything is done. Well keep you spirits up, whatever you decide to do you just have to be mentally ready for it.

Take Care,

Jodi

Ok so here goes

I love this site first of all because it makes me realize i am not the only one~~ and the info is fantastic!!

I met the love of my life (david) a year ago... its been a rough road with me having a hard time with finalizing a divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. looks like that should be done within the next month (fingers crossed)

David and i spent a lot of time together for the last 6+ months. Now he is back in the UK and we are waiting to be able to file our 129f....

We have been away from each other for a month now and i feel like i could lose my mind ( i am sure many of us feel this way), Raising a 2 year old by myself, working, taking care of a home, winter weather in NY (YUCK) ,m some minor but nonetheless medical issues that affect my sleep. IT is awful without Davids daily support here. We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

SO anyway sorry about the rambling vent

BUT I AM TIRED and the process has not even started yet! I am sad for my daughter who misses David and does not understand why he cannot come to see her

How do you all stay so positive???

anyway just wanted to get that off my chest feel better that we are all essentially going through the same thing

misery loves company and all... but i want to keep a on my face!!!!

So i welcome all comments and messages to help keep my mind occupied for the next 8 months or so !!!

[Alt name 1]

We don't stay positive all day every day. The waiting is an up and down struggle, some good days and some bad, but always worth it. Going through this process tests the core of the relationship, in our case we made it and learned to above all talk and to be close from across the world from each other. Best to the two of you and happy new year.

[Jesse and Hema 2]

How do you all stay so positive???

What makes you think we DO?

[isleta521 5]

We don't stay positive all day every day. The waiting is an up and down struggle, some good days and some bad, but always worth it. Going through this process tests the core of the relationship, in our case we made it and learned to above all talk and to be close from across the world from each other. Best to the two of you and happy new year.

Perfectly said, Some days ARE harder than others and staying positive was a struggle at times. I remember that some days or should I say months were pure HELL to us. You will succeed as long as you have the perseverance and the will to do so. It wasnt easy for us or everyone else that went through this. You will get through it.

[rebeccajo 14]

How do you all stay so positive???

What makes you think we DO?

That was my exact thought..........

I remember having good and bad days. Good and bad moments.

Now that he's here - we have good and bad days - good and bad moments.

It's difficult to explain to those still separated how, in the weirdest way, once you are finally together for good all the separation melts away. It's almost as if it never happened - if you were truly connected to begin with, that is.

The time you are making for each other now - once you are together in real life - it's hard to duplicate that. It really is. My husband and I find ourselves occasionally saying how we desperately don't want to lose that ability to talk to each other. We HAD to talk when we were apart. Once you're together for good, the things you've been longing for - the touches, the constant togetherness - believe it or not they won't hold you together if you forget to communicate.

I guess I've decided that each step of our marriage has different 'sweets' and 'sours'. There is sweetness to the separation because it forces you to talk and learn. The sour is obvious. Once you are together, your challenge will be to not take each other for granted. Just like regular married couples.

Because it is, at the end of the day, real life after all.

Edited January 1, 2008 by rebeccajo

[one...two...tree 2,762]

We don't stay positive all day every day. The waiting is an up and down struggle, some good days and some bad, but always worth it. Going through this process tests the core of the relationship, in our case we made it and learned to above all talk and to be close from across the world from each other. Best to the two of you and happy new year.

Perfectly said, Some days ARE harder than others and staying positive was a struggle at times. I remember that some days or should I say months were pure HELL to us. You will succeed as long as you have the perseverance and the will to do so. It wasnt easy for us or everyone else that went through this. You will get through it.

I concur.

[Marilyn. 340]

How do you all stay so positive???

What makes you think we DO?

That was my exact thought..........

I remember having good and bad days. Good and bad moments.

Now that he's here - we have good and bad days - good and bad moments.

It's difficult to explain to those still separated how, in the weirdest way, once you are finally together for good all the separation melts away. It's almost as if it never happened - if you were truly connected to begin with, that is.

The time you are making for each other now - once you are together in real life - it's hard to duplicate that. It really is. My husband and I find ourselves occasionally saying how we desperately don't want to lose that ability to talk to each other. We HAD to talk when we were apart. Once you're together for good, the things you've been longing for - the touches, the constant togetherness - believe it or not they won't hold you together if you forget to communicate.

I guess I've decided that each step of our marriage has different 'sweets' and 'sours'. There is sweetness to the separation because it forces you to talk and learn. The sour is obvious. Once you are together, your challenge will be to not take each other for granted. Just like regular married couples.

Because it is, at the end of the day, real life after all.

[Missing.him 0]

How do you all stay so positive???

What makes you think we DO?

That was my exact thought..........

I remember having good and bad days. Good and bad moments.

Now that he's here - we have good and bad days - good and bad moments.

It's difficult to explain to those still separated how, in the weirdest way, once you are finally together for good all the separation melts away. It's almost as if it never happened - if you were truly connected to begin with, that is.

The time you are making for each other now - once you are together in real life - it's hard to duplicate that. It really is. My husband and I find ourselves occasionally saying how we desperately don't want to lose that ability to talk to each other. We HAD to talk when we were apart. Once you're together for good, the things you've been longing for - the touches, the constant togetherness - believe it or not they won't hold you together if you forget to communicate.

I guess I've decided that each step of our marriage has different 'sweets' and 'sours'. There is sweetness to the separation because it forces you to talk and learn. The sour is obvious. Once you are together, your challenge will be to not take each other for granted. Just like regular married couples.

Because it is, at the end of the day, real life after all.

Thanks.... everyone it does help so much to know that there are all of you here to talk to when I cannot hold it together some days and vice versa I will be here for anyone else that needs some

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

How do you all stay so positive???

What makes you think we DO?

That was my exact thought..........

I remember having good and bad days. Good and bad moments.

Now that he's here - we have good and bad days - good and bad moments.

It's difficult to explain to those still separated how, in the weirdest way, once you are finally together for good all the separation melts away. It's almost as if it never happened - if you were truly connected to begin with, that is.

The time you are making for each other now - once you are together in real life - it's hard to duplicate that. It really is. My husband and I find ourselves occasionally saying how we desperately don't want to lose that ability to talk to each other. We HAD to talk when we were apart. Once you're together for good, the things you've been longing for - the touches, the constant togetherness - believe it or not they won't hold you together if you forget to communicate.

I guess I've decided that each step of our marriage has different 'sweets' and 'sours'. There is sweetness to the separation because it forces you to talk and learn. The sour is obvious. Once you are together, your challenge will be to not take each other for granted. Just like regular married couples.

Because it is, at the end of the day, real life after all.

Beautiful post, rj

I was one of the "lucky" ones, as I was able to be with my husband the whole time we were being processed, and I think my time on VJ really opened my eyes to exactly how lucky I was. Those of you who have to be apart -- wow. Your patience, love and devotion is inspiring.

To the OP -- you can do it! I understand the whole waiting for a divorce thing, and how everything is put on hold until you fully extricate yourself from a relationship that died a long, long time ago. We had to postpone our wedding 3 times while we waited for my decree absolute. In the end I had a very unseemly 12 days as a gay divorcee before I remarried. Anyway, if you need moral support, don't hesitate to come on over to VJ for some big helpings!

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

divorce because of custody issues with my 2 year old. Raising a 2 year old by myself, We use Skype and talk all day long which is nice but not the same....

Whats your kid doing all day while your talking? Your kid should come first.