kennym

It is absolutely amazing how everyone jumps on the bandwagon (the mob mentality) and nit-piks posts to death... Admitedly some of his posts were alarming, but... There are way too many people on VJ that enjoy making people feel like #######..
Folks,
not everyone here is a world class writer.. Darren may have communication issues, but it's insane how he's tried to clarify his posts numerous times, and people continue to bash him and nit-pik his comments to twist it around and show how he could be a freak of some kind...
He could be, but you've missed the whole darn point.. Anyone who's been around VJ for more than a day, knows this topic is a common issue when it comes to PI.. and although, darren wondered off into the weeds with his narative about villages and tribes, his point was effectively the same as others have posted numerous times..
It's good to see through the communication problem and attempt to isolate the issue.. instead of bashing someone to death.. Darren may have things to learn from others dealing with the stuff, but beating the ####### out of him with attacks and insults isnt going to teach him a darn thing.. Folks, #######?????
I simply feel like this Web Site has moved from one with genuine people to one where people with issues, use it beat up on others while taking advantage of the annonymity the internet.. One person makes a derogatory assesment, and before you know it everyone is jumpin in and adding their comment... Most of you wouldn't treat people like this in person and certainly wouldnt have the courage to treat your friends or family like this especially if you were face to face, but thank god for the internet.. It lets you bash people without fear of getting clocked....
Rather than try and understand that he may have challenges expressing himself, you quickly take every little comment he makes and find a way to critique it to show how screwed up he is, instead of understanding the point of his posts..
I applaud the few people who got in supported the possiblity that Darren had commuications issues, but 90% of you ignored those posts and continued to beat up on him..
Darren may not have all the answers, but I am confident that nobody else (especially the attackers) does either...
Un-flippin-believable...

raymondreason
Good intentions or not, you're already considering the worst case scenerio.. you need to have not only good intentions, but you also need to trust your wife.. And if you can't trust her, then you should continue your search whether it's someone at home or someone abroad..
My last comment is; if you simply cant get past the responsiblity that the 864 brings, this stuff isn't for you...
Welcome to the immigration process...

This evidense is a collection of things.. Visits and showing you've "been together" Shows commitment and can be a part of displaying the emotional aspect of a genuine relationship...
The thing you've got to prove; to someone who doesnt know you and automatically suspects that everyone is a scammer, is that your submittal is based on a real relationship and not one of a business arrangement...
I dont have the Counselor manual, but I imagine, that they can see that anyone who hasnt spent time together may not be in a real relationship... so they may wonder; How can they be planning to get married if they hardly know each other? Unless it's for fraudulaent reasons, this relationship is not real...
You've got to be prepared to circumvent this doubt...

Emmysaur
You are confusing two diferent things..
The Petition and the Visa Application.. It is completely diferent standard of proof.. For the Petition (The I-129-F) one meeting qualifies you to petition for the visa, and approval of the I129-f.. It has nothing to do with the the Visa Application and the interview.. The next step, after the Petition is approved, is to apply for the visa and prepare for the interview which is where you will need convince the Counselor Officer at the Embassy,
during the Interview, that the relationship is genuine..
The objective for the interview at the Embassy, is to prove the relationship is genuine.. Be prepared to show how you relationship is absolutely genuine to someone who believes that we are all scammers..
The individual Embassies and the Individual CO's have a lot of discretion.. Each Embassy seems to have a diferent set of standards in what consitutes a genuine relationship and what red flags are.. In PI, this may not be an issue, but the same case, and same circumstances, in another country may very will seem suspicious..

Emmysaur
You are confusing two diferent things..
The Petition and the Visa Application.. It is completely diferent standard of proof.. For the Petition (The I-129-F) one meeting qualifies you to petition for the visa, and approval of the I129-f.. It has nothing to do with the the Visa Application and the interview.. The next step, after the Petition is approved, is to apply for the visa and prepare for the interview which is where you will need convince the Counselor Officer at the Embassy,
during the Interview, that the relationship is genuine..
The objective for the interview at the Embassy, is to prove the relationship is genuine.. Be prepared to show how you relationship is absolutely genuine to someone who believes that we are all scammers..
The individual Embassies and the Individual CO's have a lot of discretion.. Each Embassy seems to have a diferent set of standards in what consitutes a genuine relationship and what red flags are.. In PI, this may not be an issue, but the same case, and same circumstances, in another country may very will seem suspicious..

Emmysaur
You are confusing two diferent things..
The Petition and the Visa Application.. It is completely diferent standard of proof.. For the Petition (The I-129-F) one meeting qualifies you to petition for the visa, and approval of the I129-f.. It has nothing to do with the the Visa Application and the interview.. The next step, after the Petition is approved, is to apply for the visa and prepare for the interview which is where you will need convince the Counselor Officer at the Embassy,
during the Interview, that the relationship is genuine..
The objective for the interview at the Embassy, is to prove the relationship is genuine.. Be prepared to show how you relationship is absolutely genuine to someone who believes that we are all scammers..
The individual Embassies and the Individual CO's have a lot of discretion.. Each Embassy seems to have a diferent set of standards in what consitutes a genuine relationship and what red flags are.. In PI, this may not be an issue, but the same case, and same circumstances, in another country may very will seem suspicious..

Penalties for Failure to Comply
A willful failure to give written notice to the USCIS of a change of address within 10 days of moving to the new address is a misdemeanor crime. If convicted, you (or parent or legal guardian of an alien under age 14 who is required to give notice) can be fined up to $200 or imprisoned up to 30 days, or both. The alien may also be subject to removal from the United States. (INA § 266(b)). Compliance with the requirement to notify the USCIS of any address changes is also a condition of your stay in the United States. Failure to comply could also jeopardize your ability to obtain a future visa or other immigration benefit.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Now I ask you; Is it worth the risk?

Penalties for Failure to Comply
A willful failure to give written notice to the USCIS of a change of address within 10 days of moving to the new address is a misdemeanor crime. If convicted, you (or parent or legal guardian of an alien under age 14 who is required to give notice) can be fined up to $200 or imprisoned up to 30 days, or both. The alien may also be subject to removal from the United States. (INA § 266(b)). Compliance with the requirement to notify the USCIS of any address changes is also a condition of your stay in the United States. Failure to comply could also jeopardize your ability to obtain a future visa or other immigration benefit.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Now I ask you; Is it worth the risk?

Love Love
Make sure that USCIS has your correct address,, Not having a correct address can get you in serious trouble.. If you provide that at your POE, verify with the Immigration Officer that it will be updated.. I am not so sure it does.. Doing an AR-11 and saving the confimation is your safest method to ensure that you've followed the law..
the law specifically states all non us-citizens.. The only exceptions are the ones stipulated.. Dont ever make the mistake of listening to only the advise here, verify everything people tell you... Use the advise VJ gives you to steer you in the right direction, but make sure that it conforms to the law..
good luck on your trip and hope you have a easy POE..
Kenny

Did you read the paragraph following your post...
It says..
In addition to changing your address for a pending application the law requires that all non-U.S. citizens, except for holders of A or G visas, report a change of address within 10 days of moving by completing a USCIS Form AR-11, Change of Address.

Read the message, it's from the USCIS Website... It specifically says all Non-US Citizens.. Whether or not you have a application in Process...
Re-Read...
The USCIS Link - USCIS
Regardless of who you agree with, it is quite clear on thier website...

There you go again... Inventing something you know nothing about and trying to make it about something rightous.. It's very possible Darren has issues, but again your assumptions, because you love the drama, is that his comments are literal and you wanna make yourself look like the VJ Saviour... Because if he has communcations issues, and all his statements can be atributed to his inabilty to express himself properly, then all the drama dispappears.. and that would be no fun you.. huh.. you'd have to go back to your boring life today and wait for the next opporitunity to creat drama,,,
And god knows you're good and creating reasons to have drama..

It's absolutely common for a women from PI to be involved with an older man even with an age gap that exists with Darren and his SO.. So why are so many of you critical of Darren for that?
I dont support anyone who feels they can bring a young woman into thier life to control them.. I assure you, you dont have to be involved with a forreigner to be in that situation.. I am not convinced that Darren has done that.. He may have badly expressed himself, but he attempted to explain himself.. You guys simply dismissed that as contradictions.. It seems like a witch hunt.. Once VJ'rs convict someone, it doesnt matter what they say, you will twist it around to demonize him..
I can honestly say, I am amazed about the mentality that seems to be surfacing here on VJ.. It seems soo much like Maury or Jerry Springer...

It is absolutely amazing how everyone jumps on the bandwagon (the mob mentality) and nit-piks posts to death... Admitedly some of his posts were alarming, but... There are way too many people on VJ that enjoy making people feel like #######..
Folks,
not everyone here is a world class writer.. Darren may have communication issues, but it's insane how he's tried to clarify his posts numerous times, and people continue to bash him and nit-pik his comments to twist it around and show how he could be a freak of some kind...
He could be, but you've missed the whole darn point.. Anyone who's been around VJ for more than a day, knows this topic is a common issue when it comes to PI.. and although, darren wondered off into the weeds with his narative about villages and tribes, his point was effectively the same as others have posted numerous times..
It's good to see through the communication problem and attempt to isolate the issue.. instead of bashing someone to death.. Darren may have things to learn from others dealing with the stuff, but beating the ####### out of him with attacks and insults isnt going to teach him a darn thing.. Folks, #######?????
I simply feel like this Web Site has moved from one with genuine people to one where people with issues, use it beat up on others while taking advantage of the annonymity the internet.. One person makes a derogatory assesment, and before you know it everyone is jumpin in and adding their comment... Most of you wouldn't treat people like this in person and certainly wouldnt have the courage to treat your friends or family like this especially if you were face to face, but thank god for the internet.. It lets you bash people without fear of getting clocked....
Rather than try and understand that he may have challenges expressing himself, you quickly take every little comment he makes and find a way to critique it to show how screwed up he is, instead of understanding the point of his posts..
I applaud the few people who got in supported the possiblity that Darren had commuications issues, but 90% of you ignored those posts and continued to beat up on him..
Darren may not have all the answers, but I am confident that nobody else (especially the attackers) does either...
Un-flippin-believable...

By the way, rebecca, you still havent answered my question...
You are making me think you really lied about your concern over the 19 year old wife..

The only thing being exposed is how you guys have no agenda but to make acusations and cynical comments to people who you claim to want to help.. your post 177 is full of those cynical comments...
Not a single constructive comment given in that post..
I don't need to know a thing about PI to realize when people are being bullies..
The comment was a general one.. about experiences I have had about living in diferent places.. we all have a right to make comments.. Grow up Rebecca.. Seriously,

It's absolutely common for a women from PI to be involved with an older man even with an age gap that exists with Darren and his SO.. So why are so many of you critical of Darren for that?
I dont support anyone who feels they can bring a young woman into thier life to control them.. I assure you, you dont have to be involved with a forreigner to be in that situation.. I am not convinced that Darren has done that.. He may have badly expressed himself, but he attempted to explain himself.. You guys simply dismissed that as contradictions.. It seems like a witch hunt.. Once VJ'rs convict someone, it doesnt matter what they say, you will twist it around to demonize him..
I can honestly say, I am amazed about the mentality that seems to be surfacing here on VJ.. It seems soo much like Maury or Jerry Springer...

It is absolutely amazing how everyone jumps on the bandwagon (the mob mentality) and nit-piks posts to death... Admitedly some of his posts were alarming, but... There are way too many people on VJ that enjoy making people feel like #######..
Folks,
not everyone here is a world class writer.. Darren may have communication issues, but it's insane how he's tried to clarify his posts numerous times, and people continue to bash him and nit-pik his comments to twist it around and show how he could be a freak of some kind...
He could be, but you've missed the whole darn point.. Anyone who's been around VJ for more than a day, knows this topic is a common issue when it comes to PI.. and although, darren wondered off into the weeds with his narative about villages and tribes, his point was effectively the same as others have posted numerous times..
It's good to see through the communication problem and attempt to isolate the issue.. instead of bashing someone to death.. Darren may have things to learn from others dealing with the stuff, but beating the ####### out of him with attacks and insults isnt going to teach him a darn thing.. Folks, #######?????
I simply feel like this Web Site has moved from one with genuine people to one where people with issues, use it beat up on others while taking advantage of the annonymity the internet.. One person makes a derogatory assesment, and before you know it everyone is jumpin in and adding their comment... Most of you wouldn't treat people like this in person and certainly wouldnt have the courage to treat your friends or family like this especially if you were face to face, but thank god for the internet.. It lets you bash people without fear of getting clocked....
Rather than try and understand that he may have challenges expressing himself, you quickly take every little comment he makes and find a way to critique it to show how screwed up he is, instead of understanding the point of his posts..
I applaud the few people who got in supported the possiblity that Darren had commuications issues, but 90% of you ignored those posts and continued to beat up on him..
Darren may not have all the answers, but I am confident that nobody else (especially the attackers) does either...
Un-flippin-believable...

It's absolutely common for a women from PI to be involved with an older man even with an age gap that exists with Darren and his SO.. So why are so many of you critical of Darren for that?
I dont support anyone who feels they can bring a young woman into thier life to control them.. I assure you, you dont have to be involved with a forreigner to be in that situation.. I am not convinced that Darren has done that.. He may have badly expressed himself, but he attempted to explain himself.. You guys simply dismissed that as contradictions.. It seems like a witch hunt.. Once VJ'rs convict someone, it doesnt matter what they say, you will twist it around to demonize him..
I can honestly say, I am amazed about the mentality that seems to be surfacing here on VJ.. It seems soo much like Maury or Jerry Springer...

It is absolutely amazing how everyone jumps on the bandwagon (the mob mentality) and nit-piks posts to death... Admitedly some of his posts were alarming, but... There are way too many people on VJ that enjoy making people feel like #######..
Folks,
not everyone here is a world class writer.. Darren may have communication issues, but it's insane how he's tried to clarify his posts numerous times, and people continue to bash him and nit-pik his comments to twist it around and show how he could be a freak of some kind...
He could be, but you've missed the whole darn point.. Anyone who's been around VJ for more than a day, knows this topic is a common issue when it comes to PI.. and although, darren wondered off into the weeds with his narative about villages and tribes, his point was effectively the same as others have posted numerous times..
It's good to see through the communication problem and attempt to isolate the issue.. instead of bashing someone to death.. Darren may have things to learn from others dealing with the stuff, but beating the ####### out of him with attacks and insults isnt going to teach him a darn thing.. Folks, #######?????
I simply feel like this Web Site has moved from one with genuine people to one where people with issues, use it beat up on others while taking advantage of the annonymity the internet.. One person makes a derogatory assesment, and before you know it everyone is jumpin in and adding their comment... Most of you wouldn't treat people like this in person and certainly wouldnt have the courage to treat your friends or family like this especially if you were face to face, but thank god for the internet.. It lets you bash people without fear of getting clocked....
Rather than try and understand that he may have challenges expressing himself, you quickly take every little comment he makes and find a way to critique it to show how screwed up he is, instead of understanding the point of his posts..
I applaud the few people who got in supported the possiblity that Darren had commuications issues, but 90% of you ignored those posts and continued to beat up on him..
Darren may not have all the answers, but I am confident that nobody else (especially the attackers) does either...
Un-flippin-believable...

no, because you dont know ####### about me. if im lying, how come the whole family except his sister and his sisters daughter dont say a word to her anymore? how come they are all on mine and sam's side? because they were there and they saw i didnt do or say a thing wrong. and as i said before, my mom in law told me she didnt like me even before i came to america, because im a foreigner. she didnt like me and she didnt give me a chance from the start. and her being nice to me for a week was pure acting. i didnt do #######, because im smart enough to behave in a new environment. so shut that drama mouth of yours, and get the hell out of my topic, because you have no idea what im talking about, and you "help" is not needed.
for the person who asked me where was sam during this time, he was trying to change the matress we had on the bed with a new one, and he wasnt around, but when i told him what happened later that night he exploded. so whoever dares to blame my husband one more time can go and drown in niagara falls. and no sam's dad is not in the discution and he'll never be, since he's not part of our lives thank god.
now the old problem some people seem to have with me, i wasnt 12, i was in highschool, i was probably 16 or 17 i dont remember. when i was 12 i was a geek with the highest grades in my class so that doesnt count.
and yes @Confused 2 , i will attack everyone that talks ####### about me or my husband, because you guys dont know any of us , so your opinion isnt needed.
because
1. i didnt ask for help
2. i didnt look for sympathy
3. i wasnt whining
4. i didnt ask for opinion or advice
5. im not and ill never be a butt kisser and a loser like you expect me to be. and ill bite every one of those who throw ####### at me and my family
because as i said before. this topic was made for people in the same situation, not for wannabe internet smartasses
and kennym is just experessing his opinion, no he's not being a butt kisser , and he's right, because you people are inventing ####### to take me down, and dont hope for that cause 100 of you wont manage to do that
no, theres no missing information, all the details are there. good luck being a paranoid

I love how the 12 years old keeps coming up. The OP said Grandma was spreading rumors about her having sex at the age of 12.
She also said she was in highschool when she knocked out the girls tooth. The OP was not the first to use the word hillbilly in this thread.
If someone drags you out of bed and throws you around and all you do is call them hillbilly. I don't think that is an over reaction.

Simply amazing and supports my thoughts you're inventing more BS. rebecca, honey. Go get a job, find something to do besides instigate this garbage. For whatever reason, youve decide to target this couple. Seriously, grow up.

Yea. Rebecca, the queen of drama. There is no evidence that its anything but the way she explained. Those that chose to believe your spin are simply bored and havent got much of a life.

DeeDee, I said it before, you are the one that was acting like a lady, and the grandmother was the one acting like a "common #######" only in America, they call it white trash. To use you like a slave, to try to beat you into submission and debase you, and to try to break up your marriage is ridiculous. To be honest, knowing you, I'm surprised that you WERE so submissive, and honestly, I picture you streaming off several colourful Romanian words to her instead. That you didn't, (not even knock out a tooth) shows maturity on your part, and I'm proud of you for that.
As to the abusive family that Sam apparently has, well, that doesn't look too good. Neither does the upbringing that you had. You and Sam are a family of two, and need to be constantly vigilant for either of you falling into both rages, and impotency, which is more how I saw Sam's not defending you, than him not wanting to. It's hard to recognise something for what it is, especially when you live with it. It took their treatment of you for him to actually notice how they've been for so long, and good on him for standing up for you once he did. Hopefully he'll stand up for himself now as well as recognise in himself those tendencies.
Counseling is a good idea for you both, especially as Sam could use the self esteem help and after this thread, you might need some security that he's committed to making it work with you. I know you both love each other, but you're both young, and this is HARD. To have doubts based on someone having a bad upbringing just makes it harder, so do yourselves a favour and look into it. As for money, and supporting yourself, there's a lot of work out there if you just keep looking...