Resha

Thank you both soo very much!! I really do appreciate the prayers!!

I really do want to say thank you to everyone here for all of the advice I got.. I may not have done what everyone thought I should do, but its my choice and I will be the one to decide.. I would really appreciate a little more support.. I know most of you ladies have husbands that arent exactly what you thought they should/would be.. My husband has a job now that he starts Monday.. Inshallah this will help us be better and stronger.. Only time will tell.. Being together for a full year day in and day out/ -the time he went out/ is hard on any relationship.. My husband is an a-hole! But every man is in some sense.. The things he does will be dealt with soon or later.. By the one who can really punish him! I know you ladies think I am stupid and have low self-esteem but surprisingly you would be wrong.. I have a wonderful self-esteem! Bad judgement, yes that I may have! But I do love my husband and I am willing to try it again.. So please dont put me down for my decision..

we r going to trying it for a bit.. i laid down what i needed/wanted.. we will see

How do you go about reporting fraud to ICE.. I am not being the fool here.. No way No how!

I feel so betrayed! I can barely stand it!! I never thought this would be me.. I do love what I wish he would be.. that is true.. bc he is obviously not what I thought he was.. I hate that he can stay in the USA and still use the Sponsor.. I just pray he doesnt do anything stupid!

he has decided to go stay with some family in another state they are going to help him get a job.. i found that out through a text to his cousin.. guess he wrote it in english so i could read it.. It really breaks my heart to know that I have been used all this time.. And my daughter is in the middle of all this! Thank God I love her and could never leave her!!

well we just had a big fight I was trying to be nice and stop the fighting but... I have to change myself for him! When I say I want him to change for me he wont.. Bc hes a male and im a female he said.. He says he wants me to clean cook everyday or he doesnt want to be with me.. He told me we were so close to not being together so I told him to go.. Call his cousin and go.. So of course he got mad and took off in the car.. Told me to call his cousin to come get him at no place other than the POOL HALL.. his sanctuary! I am heartbroken bc I do love him but im really just soo freaking tired!

thanks guys.. I am off to the counselor now.. Maybe she can make me feel a little better about all this.. Its nice being able to talk to someone about things.. I recommend it to anyone having problems!!

it is a really good post thank you all for your responses.. my husband is 26 years old and yes hes been carrying on like this the whole time hes been here.. It is really my fault hes gotten this far acting how hes been acting.. I allowed it for so long, but I have asked him not to do it many many times and its not working.. I know its a bad environment for my daughter.. I have seen the effects already.. She is 2 1/2 now and she knows! She has shown a couple times that she understands it.. And its really sad for me! I really want to do this.. but its hard.. I really need ways to make this easier..

Oh I'm sorry if it seemed like I was referring to you. I wasn't. There was someone who posted after you that seemed to be generalizing all Miroccan men.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope there is relief for you soon

I know that you were not referring to me I just wanted to make sure everyone who read knew what I thought about that.. Moroccan or not it happens everywhere.. I dont think the poster before really thinks that as well.. Just wording..

And as I speak he is getting into his cousins car to go out... 4pm I am sure he wont be home until the wee hours of the morning.. I am more tired than ever.. I am tired of crying and my daughter seeing it! And seeing that he doesnt care.. I wish it were easier to just tell him to go.. Those who have had to go through this with their children please let me know how you decided and how u went about it... I am just tired..........

I haven't read this whole thread so this may have already be stated. One of the statements I read was that you're worried about your daughter. Kids learn about relationships and how they should be treated by their parents' relationships. So my thought is that this should be something you should consider in deciding what to do.

As for the poster who generalized about Moroccan men - I think it's an easy way to deflect your bad choice of a Moroccan man.

I do not believe all Moroccan men are this way.. I know there are bad people in all places.. Just depends on how lucky we are to find good ones

i understand you might feel selfish because you're putting your self first, but your daughter is better without him anyway than being raised in a house where her parents fight and don't get a long, if you really love him and care about him and show him that and in return he is treating you like that then certainly there is something wrong with him but also there is a chance if you still feel love for him that you can compromise with him at some point about the stuff that you don't like, let me ask you, is all what's bugging him that you're not cleaning and doing dishes everyday ?

Thats what he says but when I do it we are still fighting.. I feel sometimes that he just wants out but doesnt want to be the one to do it.. IDK

So sorry for what you are going through. I can tell by reading your post that you already know what's what and are just looking for some validation. Your gut instincts are usually correct in most situations. Sounds like this guy doesn't treat you with much respect. Someone who doesn't care when you are ill, leaves you alone for long periods of time while "playing pool" just seems suspicious to me. Do you really think he plays pool for 12 hours? Does he have a cell phone? I would put a locator on him and find out where he is REALLY spending 12 hours. Anyway, doesn't sound like he is open to counseling and surely isn't listening to your concerns and complaints. Guess now you have to decide when enough is enough.

A few times after probing I have found out that he has went to bars and clubs with his cousin who is also Moroccan.. He lives an hour away.. When I confront him about it im told its not my business and they just went to have fun.. Yet I am at home all the time taking care of OUR child while he has "fun".. I am actually not talking to a cousin bc of an incident between them.. She said he was cheating he said shes a liar and I chose to believe him.. I did confront this girl with him that he was supposedly cheating with and she denied it of course but...... Only God knows other than them the truth.. I am not the best wife or mother but I try my best to be all that I can for them! If I were to kick him out he wouldhave a place to go since his cousin is so close but I would hate to burden their family there.. It is a really hard situation!

Hello, sorry you have to go through this but let me sum up what i concluded, You have not said one thing good about this guy in your post, and you don't want to be with him anymore, so there is no need to continue in your relation as it even affects your health, so it is not worth it, Get rid of the guy and he will be paying child support for the next 18 years

Sorry that's my opinion even though i am not a woman

I do love him if I didn't he wouldn't be here in the first place.. I feel bad for my daughter bc I know how it was to not have a dad in your life.. It was better in some ways and not in others.. She really loves him and I know he loves her so its hard.. I dont want to put up with it just for her but I feel im being selfish for even thinking it lol

Okay... I dont really know how to post this but I feel like I need some input from fellow women with Moroccan/Arab husbands.. So I will start from the beginning so everyone understands everything.. I have been a member on here for quite some time some of you know me some of you do not.. I would like input from anyone I met my Moroccan husband online in June of 2007, after talking for awhile flew to Morocco to stay for 3 months, got pregnant while I was there, came back couldnt spend the money to start the K-1 papers bc of the new baby coming.. When the baby was 6 months we went to visit for 3 more months and came back to start the papers! After 6 months of waiting it was approved and he came over here january 2010.. Now we had had our fights in Morocco of course, he didnt hide too much of who he was, but of course not everything was shown to me and of course he didnt know everything about me too im sure.. Anyways we are having a really hard time right now.. The timing is really making me feel terrible.. He just received his green card this month.. He is so selfish and he lives by a major double standard.. He goes out with friends and plays pool all the time, many times 6-12 hours a day.. If I ask questions I am told its not my business.. Yet I can go with my mother for 2-3 hours and I am getting treated like ####### by him like I did something to him lol He says I dont clean or cook or do laundry.. Everyday.. Like he wants me to, but he has always known I am not that kind.. I do clean and cook and do laundry but not everyday.. He acts like I have changed from the person he knows but the only way I have changed is that I do not feel like I am myself anymore bc of the way he treats me! I dont feel like Resha! And that really hurts me.. That I have to feel like I have to change myself so much but he doesnt.. He thinks he is better than me and deserves things more than I do.. I find myself not wanting to be with him anymore bc of how he makes me feel.. but I cant help but think maybe thats what he wants, that way its "my fault".. I started seeing a counselor not long ago and when I told him shes for talking he got mad and said he needs to go to his walking doctor.. mocking me.. Any time I am sick I am just lazy! Even though I have certain health problems that he knows about.. I have heart problems due to stress, panic attacks, that I never had before.. When I say I am not feeling good he acts like I am just lying and nothing is wrong.. Its all in my head.. I am just tired of being treated like I am not a person equal to him.. I have a mouth a brain a life.. I eat and sleep just like him.. What makes him think hes better?? I dont understand it... I just dont know what to do.. Its hard since we have a daughter together but I am getting to the end of my rope.. I feel crazy!

hope you get it soon Joey3!!

wow two whole months lol Well it makes you wonder sometimes lol

Congrats you guys!! So if my expiration date is 03/03/2013 then I can file 12/04/2012?.... I think its a little amusing that it was approved until 03/07 like urs but my expiration date is 03/03 lol

GOT THE GREEN CARD TODAY.... Didnt know they had to have the name and birthday on the card 50 times lol Happy to be done!!!

yep Missouri! And just so everyone knows... I hate Sundays.. Just went out to check the mail.. LOL

Got my welcome letter today just so you know Sarah-JAX lol hope u got urs today as well

yeah we have yet to receive anything too

I cant wait to be done lol

Ours is in post decision activity now.. So I guess that means it was sent out today.. sounds good to me lol

That is so good that they are trying to get us November filers out of the way!! Anyone still waiting for theirs???