Always+Forever

And as long as your fiance knows about it...because they will have the information and expect him to know about it, so he needs to state knowing so if questioned about your financial status, which we found out includes past & present financial status. Best of luck.

Monica

Sorry for my absent. The reason I asked that question is because if things do not go his way I am the one who gets the backlash. I felt like he wasn't being honest with me. How does one who is a teacher go through his salary and he also has a part time job. He has no responsiblities for anybody, not his parents or siblings. It's just him. And he asked to pay his rent this month, and I just totally flat out said no.

I was spending money like crazy to get ready for this move internationally. Getting documentation together. I felt like he was adding more stress by making these crazy request of getting all these things in America for him, when he knows money is tight. I mean every month we go over line by line about bills and finances.

So with him getting attitude because I said no, then his temper is flying out through the roof. He is so upset. Won't answer my calls. He only calls to say where is my money?! This is not the first time he has done this.

The first time he did this was when I was going through a lot of stress and he asked me to pay for his divorce from his wife.(they had been seperated for 1.5-2 years at the time.) And he gave me such a crazy amount. And he said oh divorces are expensive here in Morocco. I said really? Costing more than an American divorce. He said oh the rest was going to be spent on our wedding. WHAT THE WHAT?!

When we end the first time that should have been it. However, his mother and best friend kept talking to me to see this 'change' and if i am honest with myself i never saw it. Nevertheless, it's always about give me give me give me. I spent over 75.00USD to call him, because he says he doesn't want the magicjack or vonage in his home. Phone cards are better. And he needs the new iPod touch for his brother cause he's wanting to start a rapping career. And he needs the iPhone 4. I don't even have an iPhone 4.

And he says this is because by giving him these things plus paying the rent to help better himself for our arrival.(<<<THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD.)

it's all about money for him. i can't take it. and his best friend actually said i'm in the wrong, because i'm not doing more for him?!

So needless to say we are not speaking at the moment. I need to calm down and regroup. I just can't afford him!!!!! He's needs a wealthy woman, and I am not it.

I replied in your "living in morocco" topic.

Monica

I didn't realize this is the same person who is unsure about her situation with her fiance and that he is behaving badly. In that case I think I know enough details of the story to be able to say: please do not subject your young son to this situation! Don't even put yourself through it! Stop this madness now. It would be very honorable for you to admit its not right for the sake of your child and break up before you move all the way there to find out things you already know and are concerned about. This is not a stable or suitable environment for a child.

Yes. I seriously hope that monica will not be defending subjecting a child to this #######. Unbelievable is right.

For starters, I never once was defending her and her situation. I just said not to judge before having all of the details & was mentioning that all cases are not the same...we now have all the details & I 110% agree that this man is a scammer. I have been on both sides & know...A Moroccan/Muslim man should NEVER feel comfortable asking for money & all of those things from her like that. As my fiance has told me many times...my money is mine & he has no right to any of it. I feel for the OP...I know she must be so confused right now, but atleast you are finding this out now (before you get there). I know it's hard to hear what everyone is saying, so what you need to do is try to step back & see the situation from an outsiders point of view. You have already mentioned every red flag in the book for a scammer & if he is getting mad at you now over money...it will just get worse here, because he will be the type that views the US as a place where "miracles can happen & everything is perfect". If you need someone to talk to feel free to msg me...I have been on both sides, so I definitely know where you are at right now. Best of luck & remember that we are all here for you (even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes) & we all want what's best for you. And as for Tiff...I would NEVER say to put a child in anything but the best situation for them. And please reread my posts...I never said SHE should go...I just said that (in the right situation) its a great experience for children...hope i've clarified my point.

Monica

undoubtedly, not all step parent/parent remarriage situations are created equally. a lot of children reap a lot of benefits from that kind of situation, in others it creates even more misery.

more often than not though, this particular forum has provided more "#######, i gotta just shake my head" moments than "wow, that person's really got their shite together and is really looking out for their kids' best interests" moments, at least in my opinion.

i know i for one would have a whole lot more of a clue about what my kiddo's educational situation was gonna be loooong before i had a set moving date, and have all of the specific details hammered out well in advance. i'd know the answer from the school itself that i had personally visited and discussed all kinds of things in a whole lot of detail with someone actually employed by the school rather than looking for pricing feedback from random strangers on an immigration website. but that's just me projecting "what's in the best interest of someone else's child". you'll have to excuse me for seeing a huge credibility gap with someone who is moving overseas in a little over a month, but doesn't even have a clue what her child's education there is going to cost.

I see your point...and I agree to most of it...I was sure of everything pertaining to school, etc for my daughter before I went & would not have done it any other way. The thing that bothers me with tiffmal's response is that there is an assumsion about the relatioship between the child's birth parents...like u said, not all relationships are the same, yes some r from divorce, some r from dating couples, etc. But just because a child is born does not mean the father was ever involved with that child besides conception, so judging the situation on that aspect without the info is hard for me to do. But as u said...not all cases are the same...each has its own story. And its sometimes hard to have an openmind with all of the sketchy situations that do get brought up on VJ. So I guess all we can really do is answer questions the best we can & hope for the best for the ones involved.

Monica

Oh ok. Now I understand why you are defending her. I never said I had all the facts. Im stating my opinion just like you are. Sorry you don't like mine. Im sure there's a lot to the story but either way I think the child should come first. Call me old school but when a child comes into the picture I generally don't think dating or remarrying is the best idea for the kid.

I agree that each is open to express their opinions...i just try to wait to give mine with all of the information about the situation first, that's why I wouldn't tell her either way. And saying a person shouldn't get in to a relationship because they have a child (in my opinion) is forcing something on a child that they probably would not choose. Most children want both parents in their lives, and it doesn't always need to be biological either for them to be happy children.

Monica

This move probably isn't geared towards new cultural experiences. The Mom is probably moving him there so that she can be with her man. If the child has a biological Dad, then the child is being taken from seeing his Dad. If the child has grandparents or friends, the child is being removed from that as well. The child has no choice because he is six years old. I personally don't think that moving a kid for the sake of the Mom's international love is right. The interest of the child should come first, not the interest of the Mom's love life. Just my opinion.

Just like Sarah said...how do u know what the situation is. My daughter wanted to go & stay & didn't want to come back...and you have no way of knowing if the biological father is (or ever has been) around. So get the details before you judge ppl and critisize someone by ASSUMING you know what's going on. Have you ever thought it would be a good thing for her child to see them together & happy?

Monica

IF the kid is being relocated from the US to Morocco, then I'm not sure what else I need to know about the situation? Maybe I misunderstood, as I said before.

And I guess I don't see the issue with introducing a child to other cultures and ways of life. And she already said he would be staying in school...so what is the issue?

Monica

I'd contact your congressman or senators...that's how we've gotten our case moving...and it shows u're serious. Best of luck.

Monica

I hope that you aren't seriously moving a six year old child from the US to Morocco because you are in love. You wouldn't really do that to a kid, would you? Maybe I misunderstood the posting.

Isn't that a bold statement without knowing the situation??

Monica

Good post, Caybee.

I have a question about NOID's. Has anyone here ever responded to a NOID and lost? I'm confused because it seems like people want to get the NOID rather than just letting the file expire, so USCIS will provide more specific reasons for the consulate's denial and give the petitioner an opportunity to plead their case, but isn't the risk of a fraud marker and ban great if USCIS issues the NOID? I've looked through the pinned topic, which is full of helpful information BTW, and I'm still not clear on that part...on how easy it is (for a prepared, diligent person) to successfully rebut the NOID.

Good luck to all the couples who are going through this right now!

I know what u're saying...we wish for the NOID & then fear the denial. I am in the process of waiting for our NOID results (should have them by the end of the month). And I have been researching as much as I can able what happens either way, and the pc6 marker is very scary (something i try not to think about). The other problem is there aren't many ppl that get the K1 NOIDs, which makes it more difficult to compare & see the odds, but I did find a section on the USCIS website that shows the previous denied NOIDs and the main reasons were for: not replying in time, not completing the required or requested forms, and not meeting during the 2yrs prior (that is required)...I found none that were properly responded to that got denied. I'm holding on to the hopes that these are accurate to all NOIDs, since it is all i have been able to find. It would really help if there was a way to list this information in the timelines, so it is searchable, so we can get an idea, which I believe we have mentioned to moderators before. I think the problem is that most that get denied r so spread out everywhere in different forums that it's hard to get the information together, because the NOIDs are accross the board no matter what consulate they come from once they get in the US...the only differences are how each Service Center handles the denied cases. Sorry if i'm rambling I know there are many new denials out of Morocco recently & I know there are many around or before mine that already received expiration notices. Let me know if you have any questions.

Monica

MOnica,

explain this to me about they can't deny for the same reason....you mean if you re-apply for a K1 or K3 and the uscis and nvc approve a 2nd petition?

nicole

When you get denied, for the case to get back to the consulate for an interview is has to be reviewed by the Service Center you apply with. Which is what happens when you get the NOID/NOIR...(from what i understand) the reason for the 1st denial still has to be reviewed before a new application (K1, K3, or CR1) can be approved, even if the original K1 expires (thus not reviewed until a new application is filed). I believe it probably also depends on your case on if they will send a notice to you for more information regarding the denial or not. For example, if ppl wait for a long time to reapply, it may prove wrong the concerns brought up in the denial, etc. And so the original denial would be considered irrelivant, because the Service Center decided that the reasoning for the denial is not valid or accurate. I hope this makes sense...lol...please ask if you have any other questions, or if this doesn't make sense.

Monica

That's what they all say

Knew I shouldn't have put my 2cents in...lol

Monica

Congraats! So happy for u guys...and definitely great to hear some good news

Monica

I haven't heard this either...my fiance wasn't in a serious relationship before me either. Also think everyone needs to calm down a bit...she was just asking if it was true or not.

Monica

Wish I had some advice...but I do have a <<HUG>> I hope u guys get things figured out soon. Best of luck to u both.

Monica

Hi again, I received a letter from the embassy today saying my husbands visa is not denied, that it has been sent back to USCIS for further review. Does anyone know what this means?

thanks, sweetcitywife

They told me the same thing with our K1. According to what I found out, the consulate can deny giving the visa, but not the application. The form my fiance received was a Refusal Worksheet. So the only way for the application to be denied is for the consulate to return it with a recommendation to revoke the original approval, thus denying the application. In other words, both USCIS & the consulate have to "deny" the application for it to be denied. Hope that makes sense.

Monica

The OP never returned to clarify about this temper. Telling her to leave the guy and we don't know the extent of his temper is a bit premature. I have a temper, I think everyone has some sort of a temper. We all get angry, right? I would hate for someone to give up on me because I was in a pissy mood one day. However, we don't yet know how bad this "temper" is. It's sad that many people in this board will automatically say, "dump him" without really knowing what's going on.

Was thinking the same thing

I never got a NOID or notice of expiration. I did refile a k1 3 years later but that was because my husband (fiance then) went back to school. We thought we would have heard back from USCIS during that time but NOTHING. When we refiled the 1st petition was addressed with what knowledge we had from the 1st interview. They had no grounds for denial the 2nd time around and he is now with me in the USA

Yeah...that's the good thing...they can't deny u for the same reason they originally denied u for if the service center approves it again.

Monica

Any new news for you yet?

Nothing yet

Monica

Also u should know that back in June I was told be the Consular Chief at the time that there was a new policy making it required to extend the expiration date to the maximum amount BEFORE they returned it to the US, so you may also want to confirm that...you may have another 4 mths from the date sent. And u will get a NOID with the K1 I've heard of others refiling the K1 and then getting the NOID after refiling or after getting married & filing the CR-1. You need to be sure and read all of the info for each way & be sure to respond to EVERYTHING you receive in regards to the originial application...don't wanna a pc6 marker for not responding...I read about a lot of those on USCIS. Hope this helps & best of luck...just be sure not to rush anything as far as reapplying without knowing exactly what can happen either way.

Monica

Assalaamu'Alaykum/Salutations:

I hope this finds everyone okay. I'm just wondering, has of the women that are engaged or married to their MENA men can upset you with their tempers to where you just want to withdrawal the petition?

MM

I will tell u from my experience...it won't be easy at first...I knew my fiance for over a year before I spent nearly 4 mths there with my daughter...and it still wasn't easy. But if you really love someone, then all of the hard stuff is worth it...makes all the good times seem just that much better And (as u said) things are moving quickly...this whole process is stressful whether u're together in person during it or not. I think most couples going through the visa process (atleast once) wonder "is all of this worth it?", and that is a decision u have to make yourself. And truthfully...I wouldn't jump in to a marriage as soon as u get there...take your time (since it seems like u plan on living there for awhile anyway) & let u & your son get used to being over there & with him & make sure that its exactly what you want & thought it would be. And as others have stated...you need to spend a lot more time in person together before getting anywhere near filing, or it is a HUGE red flag to Casa. In my opinion, they only really count the time spent together BEFORE the application was sent...I know they will find out about any other visits after the application, but they usually have a good idea of what they are going to do before the interview based on the application given. I wish u the best of luck in your journey & hope everything works out for you guys. And feel free to msg me if u ever have any questions. I just noticed u have posted for DCF...from what i understand (someone correct me if i'm wrong) u need to have residency for 6 mths, but that doesn't mean u have to be married for 6 mths...depending on connections & the city, u MIGHT be able to get residency before getting married.

Monica

Hi everyone......just wanted to give a little update on where we are 10 days post denial. First of all, I would not have know what to do without all of your posts, special thanks to Monica.......you are awesome. I have emailed the counsolate everyday and FINALLY got an email Thursday with the SPECIFIC

Glad to help I'm really suprised u were able to get an actual reason for the denial too...we just got the generic "you have to wait, we dont have the case, etc". And as for your case "sitting in Casa" from what I know that's not very common for the K1s, so hopefully the Consular Chief will be able to help when u call. And since they were able to give u a reason, then they would have to have the case to look at to be able to give it....so maybe u'll get lucky & catch it in time INSHALLAH!! Just keep on top of them.

Monica

Hey I'ld like to know if I can get those Links getting ready for my coming turn wish the best for everybody.thanks in Advance.

This is what I posted when Nicole first got denied:

Ok Nicole...first off BREATH...many of us have been through this...we got our 221(g) in June. 1st thing u need to do is call & email the consulate...find out what they tell u, see if the case has been returned yet. Also u need to contact your senator or congressman. We r working with our Senator. Also, has your fiance sent u a copy of the form they gave him yet? I'm assuming it is a refussal worksheet marked 221(g). If the consulate replies back that your case as been returned to USCIS & give u the diplomatic pouch #, then u can call the pouch tracking # (i believe i posted it on here: Sent Back to USCIS thread (If u can't find it, feel free to msg me) If there is a pouch #, then the case should have left the consulate (according to how they r handled...no pouch # is assigned till the case is leaving). If not, call and try to speak with the conular chief, get as many details as u can, go through the questions asked at the interview (everything is asked for a reason). Also, if its still at the consulate you can try sending in a rebuttle letter (after u figure out the reason from the interview questions) & get letters of support from family & friends. Don't let up...do the same with the Senator's office, each office has an individual that handles visa cases...find them & send them all your info. The more u push, the more serious u seem, and hopefully the quicker the case will be reviewed. Are u through CSC or VSC? (i don't remember...sorry) CSC seems to be reviewing the returned K1s now...u can also make sure that they renew the expiration on your case to give it time to be reviewed, etc.

Ok...i'm sure there is more...but i think that will get u started. Let me know if you have any questions. And check out these sites:

http://www.visajourn...tates-via-221g/

http://www.visajourn...ablanca-thread/

Best of luck & stay strong...we r all here to help. And as for someones suggestion to hire a lawyer...i have mixed reviews on that...I did it all myself with the help of my Senator's office. I think most of the info u need should be here, unless u have special circumstances in your case. You can also msg Marc Ellis on here & he will give u pointers regarding your case. You can find him here: http://www.visajourn...service-center/

Monica

It has helped ...... thanks for posting the link.

So sorry to hear about the denial...we are all here for u.

Monica

we all have to stick together...thanks for the bump Sarah...miss keepin up with everybody

Monica

my head is spinning...lol