bulaklak

Great post Lotus. I see we think alike. I also agree the religion issue is poison, it

will cloud their judgement and act like an angry parent unable to separate squabbling children.

May I say,,, "Great mind think alike"

I love my wife so much...

She is here now, since May 3. She still struggles with not being able to work. She was a school principal, her dream job, and had to give all that up in coming here, and it is hard for her still, but she sure does take it all well. She has her moments when she feels down because of not working and losing her career, but she overcomes that.

She laughs, and that is music to my ears. I adore her. I love her with all my heart and soul. She is sleeping right now...I work late. She was sleeping on the couch downstairs when I came home, but she woke up and came upstairs as I was putting the clean, washed sheets on the bed. I just watched her sleep for awhile. I got off work early tonight, so am awake, and will get some things done here. But it is the most wonderful feeling to know she is just in the bedroom, and I will be able to go there when ready, and cuddle up to her and hold her and breath in the beautiful smell of her hair and fall asleep with her in my arms.

I would have waited any number of years for her... I adore her.

Brian in Tennessee

That doesn't sound like someone who is ready to give up, but we should all wish him well and hope he gets to

the bottom of this dilemma, not to recommend divorce outright but just hope he can get her to tell him what's wrong.

It also seems that (I feel kinship in this regard because both his wife and my fiancee are school administrators)

his wife may have been resentful for him being the cause of her leaving her very stimulating and rewarding career.

In my case, I believe we have resolved that issue, but the final proof will be once she is with me in the US.

In his case, it's something not to be skirted around but explored in order for both to learn how the other feels.

Before I looked at Brian's posts and saw his profile, I thought they were both in their 20's but in fact they are

much closer to me (a really old fart) in age. That would indicate that if something is eating her, it must run

very deep indeed and will be harder for them to resolve it jointly.

Brian hasn't posted since quitting this thread on July 27. He's had many posts since he joined on August 24 2008.

There's no rule that he has to post again, but I hope that he & wife sort things out. More than that we can't do.

Perhaps she had a high expectation about life here in the US. when she already here and figured it out for herself she doesn't like it, she regret and developed a resentment towards him. if she always treated him cold, soon he will develop a resentment too.

I also thought that they are both in their 20's because they are acting like it.

Php 40,000" then of course you have to pay them with the indicated amount.

Sound fishy:wow:

May be your girl was bragging that she has a kano bf, that's why they try to dig such a big a mount of money. they think that amount of money is nothing.

You can't fool kids, they are too smart. Item #3 is the ONLY item with a checkmark, even though the divorce is 99%

a done deal.

Yes, that's true kids are too smart, even they have no idea what is happening with their parents but they know that there is something is wrong. kids should be raised in a healthy and loving family.

by leaving the bad marriage you had, you also teaching your kids that staying in the bad relationship is NOT healthy. it just that you and her are not the right for each other. sometimes people need to experienced lot of trials in life before we finally found a "good gem".

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

"Haven't you read," Jesus replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT FOR MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."

Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.

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I know it is easy to say that Marriage is sacred but that is the truth.....it is sacred. And I know people divorce their partner for other reason too but BEFORE you DECIDE to get married, "use discernment". If your partner loves God and faithful to God, then you will not end up divorcing your partner. I'm saying you will live happily ever after...of course there will be problems will cross on marriage life but not INFIDELITY if you and your partner know and love God. And that's part of life.

The OP's case is not INFIDELITY......he can work things out.....he can talk to his wife about their sex life and be open to each other. It's all up to him.

Are you trying to convert me into your relegion?? thanks but THANKS, I have my own relegion and I know about god. I have no plan changing into other relegion. We know people are not perfect;and no matter what type of relegion you have, it can't save you from SIN.

No offense, but you know what? one of the sign if the person is a truly good person...is to respect other people relegion. don't try to push your relegion beliefs to other people.

there are many people who are very relegious but they often cheated thier wives, and they also do gambling etc... not sure why? perhaps they think the more they talk about god the more god will forgive them that's why they are likely doing the bad things. I'm not trying to say you are one of these people.

Another one, that I read somewhere

"Absence makes the heart grow founder"

These saws are constantly cutting one another's throats. How can you reconcile the statement that ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ with ‘Out of sight, out of mind’?

To me, I feel like the following quote is ghey;

What goes around, comes around!.------ why? because good people can be a victim of bad things

I will add more

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband.

When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

"When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.

"You know what?"

"What, dear?" his wife asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

I don’t believe in Superstition. That is baloney.

My wife has a Birthmark adjacent to her clit but it don’t mean nothing.

But my wife’s relatives in Davao are into superstitious beliefs Big Time.

They even believe that a Good dream the night before will win them big in jueteng.

I reckon the problem is in the truck. I have a Ford F-150 to haul my Ranger bass boat.

Of course we Texans always say that Texas is God’s country and don’t mess with Texas.

man, you very observant!

birthmark of her clit? that's interesting. He's not just observant but obviously a big eater of it.

but I have to laugh "with her having a birthmark on her clit" I though that's rare.

edit: I hope his wife will not be mad at him by acknowledged people here about it.

name='david2' date='Jul 29 2009, 10:13 AM' post='3162133']

If you just got married your wife can not HOLD DUAL Citizenship.

IF She is a k1 holder she can apply American citizenship in advance before exactly 3 years of living here in the US.

We are build a house in CDO Cagayan De Oro and that is not possible if she was to be a U.S. citizen we would have to put it in her Mom and Dads name. NO THANKS.

That's NOT TRUE, I called the Philippine embassy and asked about it. they said a Filipino who became American citizen can STILL OWN A PROPERTY IN THE Philippines as long as you are A DUAL CITIZEN.

(

davra @ Jul 29 2009, 10:19 AM)

When i had my CFO seminar,its says that you can choose become a dual citizen and you gonna pay taxes in US and in the philippines..That is what i knew from my seminar!!!!

That's true!

name='david2' date='Jul 29 2009, 10:13 AM' post='3162133']

If you just got married your wife can not HOLD DUAL Citizenship.

IF She is a k1 holder she can apply American citizenship in advance before exactly 3 years of living here in the US.

We are build a house in CDO Cagayan De Oro and that is not possible if she was to be a U.S. citizen we would have to put it in her Mom and Dads name. NO THANKS.

That's NOT TRUE, I called the Philippine embassy and asked about it. they said a Filipino who became American citizen can STILL OWM A PROPERTY IN THE Philippines as long as you are A DUAL CITIZEN.

DIVORCE is not a SOLUTION to the problem. Marriage is sacred and you know that. You can only divorce your partner if he or she is unfaithful. You can find it in the bible (New Testament) if you wanna read. I agree with you that his wife might have some worst experience in the past that made her to be what she is now. But DIVORCE????? I strongly DISAGREE!!!!!!

If the person, has NO other solution and he did everything his best to tried to work out the marriage but never getting better for both of them. then may be a divorce is the ONLY SOLUTION to his problem.

Yeah, "Marriage is sacred" it so EASY as it sound BUT the MAJORITY of PEOPLE TOOK advantages of it..... and it is very common in the Philippines a marriage people have LOVE AFFAIR BESIDES THIER SPOUSE. AND plenty of marriage are broken, plenty of spouse ran-away because of cheating, abused etc. this is not only happening in the Philippines, it is happening in the WHOLE WORLD WIDE.

People CAN DIVORCED if they have a VALID REASON; if your Spouse is cheating you over and over, you can divorce him. if your spouse is emtionally and physically abusive you can divorce him. if you are fell-out of love you can divorce him/her and that's a valid reason. all of that are valid reasons.

ALL PEOPLE wanted to have a long lasting MARRIAGE but some people do not try work harder. also it NEEDS TWO people to have a great and everlasting marriage...OVER ALL PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, they do what makes them comfortable and happy.

Yes, she can apply a DUAL citizenship. tell her she should not worry about it'and go for a DUAL citizenship because she have more great benifits of it.

If you are a US citizen, you CANNOT own land in the Philippines.

If you still want to buy land the title will have to be in the name of a Filipino citizen, or a domestic corporation.

To make sure that the land you are buying is " clean"....get a zerox copy of the title from the buyer then go to the Register of Deeds of the city/province where the land is located and get a recent certified true copy of the title so you will know if there encumbrances attached to the land and to make sure that the seller is the owner and his/her name is in the tile of the land.

Goodluck!

Thank you jom for the info, I'm a Filipina...My father owned some land in the Philippines but since he's too old couldn't remember what the procedure; and he can't give me any advice about it, that's why I ask here because I want to have my OWN land but I have no Idea what the procedure so I will not be a victim of scam, we ALWAYS heard a horror story about it.

anyway, once again thank you for those people who gave me a good input.

What goes around, comes around!

What do you mean by that? I don't believe that saying btw, good people can be a victim of scam.

Anyone here have experienced?

What is the different kind of activist in the Phils? what is good about it and what is not? and why people are doing it? being an activist in the Philippines is important? is this a hard ting to do?

any input, is there anyone here had experience

There are many kinds of group in the philippines that promotes awareness, social change, political change they were often referred as activist. BUt you better be careful on what organizations you want to be part with. What is the good of it??? awareness on unequal opportunities for the poor, the human rights violation commited by the government , the business sector. Why people joining this group??? once you started learning about this realities, there is an eagerness that you want this to change you become idealistic, you want equal oppurtunites to everyone. Is being an activist in the Philippine is important??? Yes, as long as you know what your fighting for & your not taking advantage of the people who needs the help by pursuing your own agenda. Is this hard thing to do??? Yes it is, once you already in to or as they called "lubog sa organisasyon" it its hard to get out. When I was in college We together with my classamates join the mobilization, the first is during the Flor Contemplacion, we walked from taft avenue to the singapore embassy in makati to stop the death penalty for Flor. Then its been ordinary to Attend SONA, Senate Hearing, EVAT, so as rallying in malacañang. But Our passion was with the Human Rights Violation. We become member of Amnesty International a human rights group, that was when we were in college. But when I started working I seldom join the rally anymore.

But I applauded you for wanting to help the country in your own way, If you come out with the idea on how, let me know & I will join you.

Thank you for the info you shared, I will be in the Philippines in this coming late August for some very important reason;also I'm thinking of joining as activist, I like it much for human rights,child abused, battered women. I'm not into political. I'd like to be very busy and spend my time for a very important matters. I will find an organization there so, I can join. I will let you know.

I am thinking of buying a land in the Philippines, My question is, what should I do to make sure that the land they're going to sell me is LEGAL and NOT FAKE. what steps I suppose to do? should I hire a lawyer and go to the City hall and check it if the land I will be buying is Legal?

input will appreciated.

(MarkTexas @ Feb 22 2009, 02:46 AM)

You should be grateful that your SO even has ex's,....

I wonder what the logic behind that...

I think what he mean is that..if your SO is so ugly don't be surprise if he have No ex-girlfriend or don't have ex-wife.

Also, it could be mean, your SO is a very good boy and doesn't know how to court the woman that's why your SO has NO ex.

But it also possible if your SO have more exe's He have a serious issue of himself. soon you will be his ex.

I believe, what he is trying to say, your SO is a divorced man; and because of that you and him have a chance. He found you who is his NEW wife now.

(MarkTexas @ Feb 22 2009, 02:46 AM)

You should be grateful that your SO even has ex's,....

I wonder what the logic behind that...

I think what he mean is that..if your SO is so ugly don't be surprise if he have No ex-girlfriend or don't have ex-wife.

Also, it could be mean, your SO is a very good boy and doesn't know how to court the woman that's why your SO has NO ex.

But it also possible if your SO have more exe's He have a serious issue of himself. soon you will be his ex.

I don't believe anyone has ever succeeded in changing anyone else unless the changee is in diapers.

I don't believe either, you cannot change someone unless they like it for herself/himself. haha he can only change the diapers, if she's much older than him.

I agree No relationship 100% satisfactory but it bothered a lot for him, his wife being lacking emotion toward him. needless to say it is a big deal to him being 100% satisfied in this area. and it seems like they have this problem since the day they got married last year.and up to now year 2009 they haven't solved this problem yet;and he said he already told this issue to his wife but the wife it seems not listening and just ignored the issue.

not sure until when the o.p. waiting that she will understand on what her responsibilties to her husband, maybe 15 years or more? well..if the o.p. is willing to wait at that longer period of time.

she should know what her responsibilities are before she enter into this relationship.

I hope this isnt too forward a subject, but frankly I dont know where else to talk about this at.

Me and my wife got married in January 2008. The day of our marriage, she was going to go "home" which was 45 minutes away, so she could teach at her school the next day. The only reason she didnt do that is because it affected me so much, on our wedding day, that I cried.

We are together now. To this day I have not seen her naked. When we make love, the lights all have to be out. She wont let me touch her sexually unless we make love, and then only on her breasts. It really affects me....... We go round and round about this.

Is it cultural? Am I an idiot to be so affected? It is affecting our relationship.

Am very serious with this topic.

Thanks

I'm not a jealous type person, if I'm see in actual my hubby having love affair with other woman that'll would be the time I should feel jealous. luckily that will never happen. it's not his behaviour to do such thing.

I think the o.p. will not giving up soon, perhaps he STILL hoping that he can change her. she may be will change but also,there is a big posibility she will NEVER change. so, the o.p. must decide for himself whether he want to stay with her without it, or find someone else who will satisfy and make him happy.

edit: I hope he will find the solution to their marriage