darkchilde794

Thank you guys.

This is a really sick way to phrase it, because I wish that this entire situation did not happen, but I am really glad that this crazy coworker decided to take her insanity over email. And she sent it to my official work email too, so the big bosses have to intervene. I made sure to also forward the email to my own supervisor and to another coworker who also has to deal with her for night classes. I am also extremely fortunate that I have ties to the college -- the big big boss and admin staff all know me, so they did not believe that I could possibly be verbally abusive or have a mental breakdown. I can just imagine how this situation could have turned out if I were a new hire from overseas who knew no one in the campus.

Anyway a bit more background on the situation. During the regular semester, I teach part time at the main campus. But for this summer session, I am teaching at a satellite campus that is shared by other local colleges. This coworker is our college's personnel in that satellite campus. She has worked there part time for 2 years and have never really had to deal with the bosses. Basically, she comes as she pleases and sets the labs for the faculty that teach there once in a while.

Apparently this same coworker has had MAJOR issues with other personnel in the other colleges that run this satellite campus. When this craziness came out, I immediately confided to the main admin supervisor of the satellite campus. And to my surprise, I was told situations similar to this have happened before, and this coworker has shown aggressive, troubling behavior in the past. But no one has filed an official complaint against her because her actions could not be documented, and so my big bosses were unaware of all of it.

But when news of what happened to me came out, one by one, the personnel that she has crossed all came out to talk to me. This was really good for me because I was pretty depressed, and I was worried that they will believe her over me, so stories that corroborate what I experienced certainly helps my case. The main admin supervisor even set a meeting with me and basically said (in a much more eloquent way) that they are very happy that her crazy behavior has been exposed as they have been praying for her to move out of the satellite campus.

Anyway the big bosses had a meeting with her today. I chose to remain at home even though I should have come to work to finish grading (I marked 30 scantron sheets by hand than face her in campus). I will find out Tuesday what happens. I am worried that they let her go, because she will think that I had her fired and she might actually kill -- no joke, she scares me. And Im also really concerned that she might actually be moved to the main campus, because I work there and therefore will have constant interaction with her.

I have a crazy coworker. Literally.

And my week has been so stressful, so I am back at VJ, venting.

Last Thurs, this crazy coworker took exception of something I said in passing the day before. My comment was not malicious or inappropriate or anything. Heck, I don't even know what she was upset about. All I know was Wed noon time, we were laughing and giggling hysterically about life. But sometime during that, I said something inappropriate to her that kept her up all night long and disturbed her. So she wrote me an email Thursday at 2:30 in the morning that I need to only talk work-related talk to her. So when I got that email, I was confused and asked her what I did wrong. She refused to talk to me, walked out on me in the middle of me trying to talk to her, and just told me that she does not want to talk to me. So I shrugged it off, left her alone, and when I was ready to go home, waved goodbye -- and she waved back and even wished me a happy weekend...

Come Monday, I receive an email from her that she is taking time off from work because she could not tolerate the verbal abuse that I subjected her that Thursday. She claimed that I went apesh*t on her, threatened, intimidated, verbally assaulted her, that I assassinated her character. She said that she was sooo fearful of me during my mental breakdown that she was ready to call the cops in the event that I would try to hurt her by hurling the computer at her. And she said that if I ever repeated that abusive behavior, she will not only call security but call the cops, because she needed to protect her mental health.

Good god. I don't even know how I got through that day because all I wanted was sit in front of the computer and stare at that email. I was sooo freaked out that I quit the lab that I had planned to teach, which she will be prepping for (she works at the college that I am in). I reported her to my big boss and told him that I refuse to teach the labs. AND on top of all of that crazy nonsense, I felt like I had to defend myself against these insane allegations to people who have known me since I was in college, who have been part of my life, who attended my college graduation, who Ive worked with every single day since I got this job. And I cried. I hardly cry. I fight back, but this is one fight I was not going to face. Monday evening, when hubby and I were finally alone, I sobbed so hard my eyes were so swollen.

Anyway I am just so exhausted from this... but I needed to vent to keep my sanity.

Grats Sam!!!

Woohoo the thread's resurrected!

Missa, I have totally lost track of my "weight loss journey". I was really good up until May -- wasn't exercising bec I got really busy with work, but I was pretty good with the eating and I actually lost weight, even during vacation. Never really weighed myself but my clothes fit well, and I looked thinner in pictures.

But lately I have been so busy with work. I teach lectures and labs every morning and twice a week at night, and between that, writing a lab manual, carpooling, dealing with the social aspects of work (I am working closely with a nutcase, literally), Ive been just eating what I can eat -- ie. chocolate, chips, eating at 9 pm after night class. My diet resembles that of my college nutrition...

I feel so awful. I dont have as much energy and I do feel fat even though I dont think I gained so much weight. And I havent found the time to exercise (I know its my fault).

We did sign up for CSA and have fresh produce delivered every week. I have began cooking with those veggies (actually cooking again, haven't done much cooking since I joined the work force) and Im hoping that by making sure I pack lunch and have breakfast, I dont eat the wrong foods when Im in a pinch.

My goal is to eat healthier and go back on the exercise wagon by the end of the summer. And hopefully lose 5 pounds by then!

I just love the fact that when I called up Lowes to get a quote for custom made sliding mirror doors (naturally, none of our door frames are regular size bec this house is over 100 years old...), I get a 10 minute scolding about asking these questions over the phone... when I just wanted to get an idea of how much things cost and do not intend to buy doors over the phone.

Tonight's the first night I am making dinner since last month. Yeah, Ive been slacking. I think I lived on pasta and tomato sauce and bread and peanut butter and yeah oven french fries And poor hubby, I dont even know what he ate in the last month or so...

So tonight I am making my redhead's favorite pasta dish -- fettuccine tossed with bacon, herbs and some spices and will serve it with some roasted peppers and grape tomatoes and a huge loaf of cheesey garlic bread. Since we also picked up our first set of veggies from our local CSA and have a fridge full of greens, I am planning to make a simple toss salad with a simple vinaigrette.

Reven, glad you complained. And kudos to you for holding back the tears and being really calm until you were done with customs. The dude probably wanted to destroy you into nothing, but he didn't. If you had done anything illegal or wrong, he would not even have to resort to terrorizing you. But he knows that he had nothing on you so he had to give you a really hard time before admitting that you are entering the US lawfully. I am glad that you are home with the hubby and I hope you never have this experience again.

I think I will, eventually, if this new happy, kind and absolutely loving behavior is really genuine. Both my husband and I think that it's the afterglow of the marriage. She was really happy on Saturday, and I think the happiness has runneth over...

But I think once things have settled and she and BIL are back to normal, she might revert back to her old self. A lot of her meanness towards me is due to her unhappiness in her relationship, and I don't think the actual marriage fixed the relationship. And that is what I am really anxious about -- I dont want to make the effort and embrace her when she will be back her old self and turn my BIL against my husband (which she has) and purposely do hurtful things.

Both Peachey and I were discussing her public display of affection towards me and both agree that it could be just for show. If she really, really wants to make amends and start from scratch, then she could start it with, "hey let's meet for coffee and talk about our issues". And not, "oh look at me complimenting you on facebook".

But who knows, maybe she has changed and this is her true self. If after a long time, she is really kind and warm and finally talks to me like I am a human being and not some weird non-white creature that she obsessively tries to compete with, then I am willing to bury the past and move on.

Thank you Sprailenes, I think I finally was able to say what I wanted to say... but have not figured out until your post. And I really mean that.

So the witch-in-law is now officially party of the family. Much to my dismay, BIL married her last Saturday. I can't really say if I feel sad or happy about the union, but I must say, I wore a CK sundress with zebra patterns on it, and I looked really good. The hubby thought it too because he lost his train of thought when I walked into the room

The wedding was outdoors at a park stage. It was so, unbelievably hot. I think I lost 5 pounds with the heat and the dancing. They served really simple food (hotdogs, salsa and chips, mac and cheese, chicken kebobs and pies) and it was a super casual wedding, no toasting, no seat plans, no bouquet toss, I think everything my brother-in-law wanted

So now the witch is so happy, she's so nice and kind to my MIL. In fact, she gave my MIL a biiiig hug and thanked her for "everything". She's suddenly my bff, she's sent me more facebook wall messages in the last 2 days than in the past 5 years. She even complimented me on how good I looked at her wedding.

I understand that she is making an effort, but I really cannot help but gag. And worse, my husband's entire family is now telling me that I just need to get over things and start fresh. "I need to forgive and forget, she's totally changed, she's really nice, she was so stressed at the wedding, she is really happy now so it's all over". And worse, I am not the b*tch for wanting to maintain my distance.

I feel really sick to my stomach. Like now, I have to put a tape across my mouth and bite back all of the venomous feelings I have over this b*tch. During the rehearsal, when the witch and her equally witchy friend saw me standing out in the hall, they exchanged snide glances to each other, which of course I caught, before going HIIIIIII to me. Im thinking, god do you think Im blind not to see that, or blind not to see through you?

I know I am just whining and I just need to get over sh*t. Theres far worse in-law relationships out there. And THANK GOD my husband does not believe any of her bullsh*t. I fear I will be writing on this thread for quite some time, now that I cannot vent to anyone about her anymore.

Oh boy, that is not good. And it kinda explains the guy on your deck. Any possibility you can get a dog? Best deterrent in the world, from what I've heard.

Gosh I did not know about the crack house until yesterday. Hubby has lived here since July but he goes home late and Ive lived here in November... and when I was staying home all day before I got my GC, it was winter time, and I never got out and the druggies never went out And now, I see them!!! Ive counted 5 random peeps walking around since I parked my car and dropped letters about our break in to the houses near us.

I think that might explain why the dude was on our roof... its scary.

I wish we can get a dog, but its a very big expense and require a lot of attention which we cannot give right now. And our house is pretty small that a medium or large dog would probably feel very cramped Maybe in a year or two...

German Shepard FTW

I grew up with several and they are the most loyal dog ever!

I've found in my experience that most security systems are basically worthless, that is unless you are willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars on one. The basic systems will not deter a criminal with a triple digit IQ, and the false alarms might end up costing you money, depending on the city you live in. Some cities have ordinances that will fine you upwards of $500 per false alarm.

That is my concern too. Ive read that the chain security system companies just rip you off, and the entire business is controlled by ADT or Brinks/Broadview. Theres so many false alarms and really crucial delays for when police is called during an emergency.

Im really not worried about having a break in when we are not home. The stuff that will likely get stolen can always be replaced, and as long as they dont take my srapbooks and my wedding pictures and such, I will be able to get over it. I know that sounds awful and probably egotistical... but its the truth. I am worried about break ins when we ARE in the house. I dont know what I would have done if the intruder we had on Monday was a real thief, armed and got into the house, and all my husband had to defend himself with is an umbrella while I call the police. So maybe as long as we have one turned on at night when we are sleeping, or when I am at home all day without the hubby (did I mention that I also found out that we live a few houses away from a crack house??? ).

Ooohh yeah we also got baseball bats from the in-laws for the next intruder...

Thank you guys! Yes, we live in a row house, and no one ever thought anyone can climb up the decks of the row houses, let alone OUR roof top deck which is 4 levels above street level. I am really exhausted as a result of the break in (not sure if you can call it break in as the guy did not really get in the house). I can't seem to really feel relaxed in the house and Im kind of scared to be alone... hence why I am in the coffee shop across the street while I wait for the DishNetwork guy to come!

Some of our neighbors have dogs and they all told me that even the little ones will alert you when there is an intruder. Most of my neighbors -- and we all have back decks, dont have locks on our sliding doors... and we just all found foot steps on our closest neighbor's roof (which our neighbors have never walked on), so the intruder definitely walked on their house (literally) before destroying our deck. Its scary. He could have easily gone down their deck and into their house, or our deck and into our house.

I am hunting for a security system. So far, all the reviews say they suck and you have to be tied with them for 3 years... plus all the false alarms, etc. But I think we both will feel much safer if we are protected, especially when we are asleep.

This is more like bizarre topic and not off-topic but Im too tired to start a new thread and I just want to get the jitters out of my system. And I cannot find the vent thread? Whoa, nobody venting now?

So early this morning between 1 am and 2:30 am, some super drunk and probably really high idiot (and he really was an idiot), broke into our house and literally destroyed our roof top deck. We have no idea how he got in the premises... no broken doors or windows, and the roof top deck is literally 4 floors from above the street.

What this douche bag probably did was climb up the roofs of the smaller houses adjacent to ours and then managed to climb up to the house of our neighbors, which is a little closer in height to ours, and then climb up to our deck.

He basically tore the legs of our deck apart, literally kicked all the legs off and threw them across the street. One of the pieces hit a car of our front neighbors who are away... And he also got a leg of the deck and smashed our satellite TV (basically hit it enough that it is now folded onto itself).

Our neighbors from across the street were still up partying and they saw this douche bag sitting on our deck with his legs hanging off the deck, and throwing broken pieces of the deck. So at first, they thought that the guy lived in the place and just went mental, but they realized that he broke in when he started banging our satellite dish.

The noise also woke my husband up and he went up the deck and saw the intruder, and started yelling for me to get out of the house and call the police.

Of course my reaction was to get up, call the cops and get my tripod and run upstairs to try to beat the sh*t out of this alleged intruder.

So the intruder managed to escape - we think he jumped over our deck to the parking garage next to our house and ran a block or so. But the cops found him after 20 minutes. The guy was totally out of it, though he admitted to destroying our deck.

So now, we have absolutely no railing on the front part of our deck, we have a flattened satellite dish, and we are going to install top notch security system in our house.

We are really fortunate that this happened last night and not a few nights before, because we were in Sarasota until Saturday night... and the guy decided to stay on the roof and destroy our deck and not come inside the house and kill us.

For the buddies who love their kittens

Ashen, you can stream netflix movies on your computer too... I watched most of the movies I wanted to watch on my notebook

Thank you guys for the help!

HAH! You think your curfews were bad??? I had to be home at 6 PM for my first year in college. I did not even live with my parents. I lived with my aunt, who was instructed by my mother, to make sure I was home by 6 pm on the dot. I was 19 then.

By the time I moved out on my own, I still went home around 6-7 pm most weeknights. The rebellious streak I harbored that one year I was on curfew dissipated somehow...

I had a hard time saying no, and telling people exactly how I feel. I grew up in a very passive aggressive household and we hid our feelings with smiles and kind words. It was sooooooo fake. Fortunately, I married a man who has no tolerance for bullsh*t, and in the 4 years of being with him, I grew a spine and learned my still favorite word, "no"

However, his family are all about shying away from what is really going on, and sweeping things under the rug. Like this ####### between my husband and his brother. After hearing what happened between MIL and BIL, I just wanted to go to BIL and say, ok ####### is your problem???? But I cant do that... I also have to hide this bullshit from my husband, because "his feelings will get hurt". Well this lack of communication is definitely helping everyone's f*cked up cause.

I think I made a mistake moving here. I am seriously considering moving back to TO with my husband, and just living away from family. Or even moving to the west coast... as hubby loves it there. Maybe that is what you should do Sprailenes -- move really far away and just see your in-laws 2x a year.

Hi all! Quick immigration related question --

A friend of mine now lives in Canada but lived and married in the Philippines when she was younger. She has since filed divorce against her husband (ex-husband) in Canada, which was approved and recognized in Canada. She is not a Canadian citizen, but still a Filipino citizen.

The Philippines does not recognize her divorce, as there is no divorce in that country. So I want to know, will her divorce be recognized in other countries who recognize divorce (ie. the US or UK for example).

I apologize if I am posting this in the wrong forum, I am not sure where it will apply to...

I am pretty bummed...

My MIL and BIL talked on Sunday about the situation (for those of you who have read my posts about the WIL before)... and I think the WIL has convinced my BIL that his brother (my husband) is weird, weak and abandoned him.

My BIL told my MIL that my husband did not want to go to bars and shoot pool with him last year (2009) and he felt really hurt of my husband's rejection/abandonment. Well first off, my husband was so depressed in 2009... he and I were long distance and he was so unhappy. We all know how it feels like to be so unhappy, you just forget everyone else and just focus on your unhappiness. My MIL tried to tell BIL how unstable, depressed and unhappy husband was at the time... and BIL said that his brother should just "grow up and get over it".

Second off, my husband was studying for the CPA... by himself... and devoted every hour of his free time to pass the tests. He did not even have time for ME when he visited me in TO... and we would schedule our dates around his study time.

In a way, I think that my BIL wanting to hang out with my husband was a means of trying to get help... cause he was getting pressured from the WIL to get engaged at that time... And he was likely trying to get support and strength from his brother. But my husband was so emotionally drained, he had nothing he could give his brother at that time... and it's soo selfish of my BIL to say that his brother rejected him and left him all alone, when my husband was in a really, really, really bad place.

BIL also thinks my husband is weird because hubby is really quiet and keeps to himself. My hubby is so shy and so reserve, but hes a GREAT guy. Just because hes not abusive or mean-spirited does not mean he is any less a man. My BIL drinks a lot, treats my MIL like sh*t, fishes, treats the WIL like sh*t, and because my husband does not do any of that... he's labelled as weird.

And because my husband spoils me with presents and dates and flowers, BIL thinks he is a weakling. #######?

At the end of the conversation, my BIL told my MIL that when she dies, he doubts that he and my husband will ever talk again.

This really saddens me. My husband will be sooo hurt if he finds out what BIL thinks of him. He worships the ground that my BIL walks on. I DOUBT this is because my BIL hates my husband... I think he is likely envious that my husband does not have the stresses he has in his life. I also think this is the WIL's influence on him... because the BIL that I KNOW is not judgmental and insensitive. But the two of them make each other sooo unhappy and so they turn to people who are happy and blame those happy people for their misery.

Sigh, I dont know what to do. Three days ago, I was all about bashing the WIL. I think it's partly her influence... but this entire mess, which may contribute to why he is marrying the witch, has even deeper roots than I thought. And I am so careful to not let my strong dislike for the WIL divide the two brothers -- but it looks like her dislike for me has done that already. And now I just feel so hopeless, I want to move back to Toronto to protect my husband.

No matter what, my relationship with my husband is most important, and I want to do what is best for whole family peace, but if my BIL will be such an a$$ to my husband, we just have to cut him out of our lives.

I AM BACK FROM THE FLU!!!!!

Sorry just had to share

It feels so good to be able to taste food again

Care First Blue Choice.

It should be a curse phrase, really.

Arabella, your wedding looked beautiful and intimate.

Congratulations to you and your hubby

WIL = Witch-in-Law.

Soon she will be my Troll-in-Law... as that is the next progression of evil.

So tomorrow hubby and I are driving to PA to see Varba and Peachey marry *happy dance*. Of course I am attacked by the cold bug and Im coughing and hacking away, throat is so sore, nose so stuffed... Cold, why couldn't you wait until Sunday??? I must say, I will be the one guest that will bring the most infectious gift

All I can say is that it is unlikely this marriage will work out in the long run. She'll probably turn into a troll after they say their "I do's"

First a witch, then a troll... the progression of evil...

Yes, that is what Im worried about. Oh well.

Troll-in-Law. Hmm... nice ring to it...!