ms_jinga_lala

This usually works for me when my husband wonders why on earth I need so many salwar kameez....

Good point.....I have a serious need for those as well. I don't even have all the colors yet, and not even 1 winter suit.....hmm.....time to start sweet talking lol

Let me first say that I don't know how it works in your state, so you will need to check your laws. Since you are in communication with other family members who tell you her plans, when you find out she is on her way to the states, take the evidence you have collected now (keep it safe so you will still have it) to your local police department and file a restraining order. I'm not sure if you can do it now or not, you have to check your local laws. Then when she gets her if she comes near any of you, you can call the police, press charges and they may have action they can take against her to not allow her back in the country. ---Once again, I am not sure, but it is worth checking your state laws to see if this is possible. You know she has intent to come back and as others have said, it is your job to protect your family. Good luck.

Now.. let me preface this by saying that I realize that a lot of you have been waiting longer...but, out of the 1956 applications that were received by the USCIS on September 2nd, ALL of the fiance visa petitions have either been approved or given an rfe...EXCEPT for ours!

We were touched on 9/08 for some reason. I am positive our file is in a pile hidden in the basement, or at somebody's house or just plain lost.

I am happy that I found this site and am happy for everyone who has been approved, but just KNOW that mine is lost.

How could you know all those others were approved? Currently it is taking the USCIS approximately 5 months to approve/rfe/deny petitions. Trust me, don't start stressing this early there is a lot more of that to come lol. At least you can see your touches on the file. I didn't get to see mine (like many others here) until right before it was approved. My NOA1 was dated 5/8 and I got my NOA2 dated 9/22, it didn't show up online until mid September. At one point when I called in and they advised me that my petition couldn't possibly be approved before December. I about died hearing that. Thank goodness they were wrong. Of course, now the NVC is holding onto my file for goodness knows how long for additional processing. I swear they are all out to torment us by making us wait....just kidding!

Welcome to the forums!

right on. my mother-in-law tells my husband he needs to buy me jewelry. when i told her i got my second holes in my ear, she said good, he needs to buy you more earrings

You do need more earrings. They are important beauty items so you can look your best....for him...yeah that's it...lol. I think you need matched sets so you don't look like something is missing. B)

I'm a Bengali too so I don't know about the Karva Chaut rules. And I wouldn't take part in it unless there was a similar festival requiring husband's to fast for their wife's health and prosperity. Hey, I'm all for equality.

Lol. I decided to do it because my fiancee has prayed for me every Tuesday for 18 months now. I have been going through so much and I felt like this is something I wanted to do. I can't say I'm going to do it every year. I won't do it unless I feel led to just like this year. I grew up in a religion that believes in fasting and prayer and I had always heard that partaking in a fast like this could bring you closer to God. Now that I experienced the fast, I must say it was enlightening and I physically feel better after the fast. I don't feel like it was any kind of serious life altering experience, and I don't feel like I'm one with God. I did enjoy the experience.

my husband asked me after the fact if i was going to fast. so i looked into it, and discovered i wouldn't be able to eat until my husband feeds me. um... i don't think so. seeing as though, even if he got his visa earlier, i am not expecting him to get here until the end of january. i always wanted to be "thin" but i do not want to be anorexic maybe next year

No one needs that kind of diet lol. My fiancee won't be here until our visa gets approved and we work out the details, I'm not starving till then. I did a lot of research too and it seems that nothing in India is that serious and most of it is open to flexibility. So I didn't get all the gifts, fancy dinner, etc that my "husband" is supposed to do for me either.....but I did tell him he owes me on Valentines Day All kidding aside, I don't ask him for gifts. He got overly excited while I was fasting and went out and bought me some stuff, then exchanged it cause he didn't think it was good enough, then exchanged it again because he didn't like something else. So I would have to say, with all the excitement he had and the happiness this brought him, it made this fast more than worthwhile for me.

Lol, I own Grand Theft Auto...at least my son does, he's already talking about how he intends to beat my fiancee at all those games, so maybe I can enlist my 13 year old to unknowingly help teach my fiancee to drive. It does sound like a good idea. It can't hurt, and I get the added enjoyment of listening to them playing. The bumper cars sounds good too, I'm certain he's never seen those and that could be a lot of fun as well. No point in stressing myself out, I don't want driving to turn into a bad experience.

I have OnStar and I also pay for roadside assistance through my insurance. My towing is only for 75 miles but that is more than I need, and I've used it before, it is actually a good plan. They pay for other things but I'm not sure what that is. I'm hoping I never have to use any of that lol. Just as any crazy person would, I also pay for a 3rd service through my cell phone carrier. So somehow, some way I think I'm covered for just about anything I can't already handle. My dad's best friend is a tow truck driver and my dad is a mechanic. Thank God for family lol.

and don't forgte to show how to change your tire, check for air, fuel, etc .

Omg....I don't know how to do that lol...wait...I do....I drive it to the Chevy dealership or call roadside assistance lol. Thank God for OnStar! I can teach him how to push a button, yay me!

Thank you Arun and Champi and CTRL+ALT+DEL for your stories and ideas.

I'm not receiving this. However, I need to move out of my dads house, preferably before my fiancee gets here. I don't have the money for down payments and such saved up completely and I was thinking about possibly going to the state to request assistance. I read on here somewhere that someone receiving assistance could look bad or get the visa denied. I make enough money to sponsor my fiancee and I only need short term assistance getting started in a new living arrangement. Would this affect the visa? (I don't even know if I qualify for housing assistance this is just a thought.)

FYI details

embassy Delhi

NOA2 dated September 22, 2009

So I'm on deployment and my very pregnant Fiance is in Russia. You'd think that our emails would all be loving and carefree... of course it's not, that would be an illusion that I could never keep. Though to help things along, I try to be positive and I try to be efficient so that things work out with little stress to her. though being with the crazy woman who could only love someone as crazy as me has its moments.

For the most part I know her schedule. I know when medical bills and other financial issues come up. So I planned accordingly. Though some unforseen things came up. Like my limited internet access and how I would be able to provide suppliments on my own. I told her, saying, hey I can't do this because of my limited internet access, I know that you already know all the information to wire yourself some money, please do so. Of course she said that she would, a week prior to the deadline. Though everyday looking at my bank account, which I do religiously, i noticed that she never made the withdrawl that she needed for her doctors bills. So last night, the night of the deadline, I asked her why she hadn't done it. She told me nto to worry about and that she would do it today. Well here is the kicker, if somehow she messes up the transfer, doesn't click a box, misses something, or simply scans through it not reading all of the instructions. The account locks until I email them telling that its fine and its just me.

So needless to say what happened, and of course she started freaking out because that meant that a lot of ... well you know... was going to hit the fan. she came to me askign what i could. At this point it was beyond my control and I couldn't really do anything from my reach of the world. though as you can imagine this opened a whole new can of worms.

True, I had been worried about a lot things lately with our relationship. Like my not fulling having my final will, and life insurance fully put into her name yet. So its a little scary working some days, because if I go down I am unsure if th the money will get to her and our unborn child if I die. So thus this started the whole argument of, "Dear I need you to listen to me when I list my concerns and I need you to make sure you take appropriate steps to ensure you safety in case some happens to me."

Of course I know that this was due to me being emotional, and her being pregnant, but this left us both in a huff. So she's not talking to me today. Which makes me a little worried, because I know that she still has those bills to pay, and I generally worry about her. Its not that I think that she irresponsible, but I just need her to understand that there is a lot that could happen to me, and that if the worst ever happened it might leave her in a bad situation if she doesn't plan accordingly.

Toriwings-

The biggest problem I see here - you are not there....she knows things could happen to you. However she's pregnant, she's stressed from that and the thought of you not being with her at least in spirit is probably horrifying. I don't normally recommend not discussing things, however it would be better if you just took care of the things on your end that you can, send her some love and let her vent all the frustrations a very pregnant woman would have. Then give her a gentle reminder you are still taking good care of her (and it sounds like you are). The fight will go away, this situation is just really hard, I'm sure it's worse because she's pregnant and her hormones have gone haywire.

I miss the road side food.. Like the parathas and the Indian-chinese food from road-side stalls.. Over here I would not even think of eating from a roach-coach, but I would from India because it is just sooooo good.

Lol, I'm American and I agree with you! I ate from places like that almost every day on my trip to India, sometimes more than once a day. I also drank the water and lived lol. I didn't even get sick while I was there, and like you I would NEVER even think about eating from a roach coach in America lol. It's just sad....I'm such a traitor hahaha...oh well.

It is actually easier driving really slow in India and stopping all the time for the cows, pedestrians, donkeys, dogs etc. My hubby complains when I put on the breaks a long distance from the stop signs or stop lights - I tell him, you cannot just step down on the breaks a couple of feet away when we are going 40 mph! I think he will do OK though, once he gets into the habit. He only practiced in India a few driving classes and it is totally different in India as we all know - no rules, driving in the middle of the street and turning to one side when cars approach from the other side, stopping for buffalo and goat herds, manual transmission, driving on different side of the road etc., etc. He never drove more than 10mph in India I am sure.

Lol, that actually scared me while I was there. People just stepping in front of the cars like they weren't there. Not sure why it scared me, we were moving so slow they probably wouldn't even have gotten bruised if we hit them lol. I guess it was just the thought of it. I did have a scooter hit my leg while riding on the back of his motorcycle. It didn't even hurt but was nerve wracking. I guess he's going to feel similar but for different reasons. I know he thinks my car is huge (I drive an HHR lol). I definitely will be teaching him the art of reverse driving in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night lol.

Hello ,

I guess the question is , does he know how to drive ? B, How comfortable is he driving on high speed .

What i did was , I got a international Licence before i came here . And then I Just look very carefully while my wife drove me for a week or so . The first step would be getting comfortable driving on the other side . Its hard to get an idea of the clear distance and the lanes Ur driving from the other side . So make him comfortable to drive on the other side . I started driving with in the second week . What we did was in the second week I drove my wife to do grocery shopping and she would tell me advance what i need to do next , Like who have the right away and how yield . In fact she keep telling me the little thing like round way thing , meaning how to enter the round ways while she was driving me . Stop for school bus and pedestrian . all these little things did made a lots of difference for me understanding the driving difference .

Driving on the freeway is different ball game . Speed is very important . I almost got a ticket in the second month of me being here for speed he he . so advice o that part is stay under the speed limit .

The biggest difference was driving a bike here . Their is a lots of respect for bikers which is totally different here .

I'm going to err on the side of caution and say no, he doesn't know how to drive. He's probably only done it once, not very far and since he gets nervous I know he had someone else take over. He recently went for driving lessons - for 2 days....in India. He was very happy to hear that that my car does not have a clutch pedal. I learned how to drive a manual and I actually don't think he did bad at all from the things he was telling me. He's very critical of himself.

Thank you for telling me your story. I find it quite helpful. I've already been looking around at where I can get him some short distance experience to help boost his comfort level. And I think I'm going to teach him about cruise control first lol.

well if you want to start this then you will have to follow the way it is done, you will not be able to eat or drink anything till about 4 in the evening when the puja or katha is done. Ather this yes you can drink whatever youwish to .then again you will have to wait for the moon to finish the whole process.

hope you would be fine by then...its on 7 th...so still have some time.

Thank you. I feel pretty confident that I can do this, I just like to plan ahead. I barely coughed any today so hopefully my throat will be fully better by Wednesday. I guess the only way I will know if I can commit to it for sure is to wake up Wednesday morning and see how my throat feels.

I'll try not to let it get buried then lol. I did start teaching my 15 year old to drive before he went to stay with his dad. I actually took that pretty well, I didn't freak out but once when he was turning the car around and was way too close to the mailboxes and when I said....well screamed...STOP, he kept going lol. OMG..... After I thought about it, it would have just been some paint scraped off but still...my car is so pretty with all it's paint lol.

I'm really concerned about teaching him things like how to judge if your car is between the lines, how to check your side and rear mirrors, and in the state of NC he needs to know how fast he can drive a tractor down the road (I almost failed for missing that one myself lol).

I'm really kind of excited about teaching him to drive. I think he's gonna love it once he gets used to it. And I really feel like driving here, even with all the rules is going to be easier than India. He doesn't have to stop and go while people just walk out in front of your car and traffic is nowhere near as bad. Traffic only goes one direction in any given place on the road, not all directions at once. I'll make sure I come back and post our experiences too.

I have no idea which one of us will wind up making more money and to me it doesn't matter. I intend for all our bills and money to be together, all joint accounts, everything shared. To me it doesn't matter if it's my money or his as long as he is the one physically paying for most of it. I am a little old fashioned and when we go out to dinner, I won't be seen taking the check or giving them my money - that will all be him lol. He wants it that way too. Of course, he wants to get here get a good job and take care of me completely but I have dreams of my own and I really want to work.

To make him happy when we go out together I won't pay for anything physically. It will all come from our joint accounts so there will really be no way to tell who's money is whose once he gets a job, but until then it will all be my money. I'm content with that. We will budget together and make decisions together no matter what. It doesn't matter who's money it all is, most all of the decisions will affect us both fairly equally. We will both need to agree on frivolous spending and eating out and such as that. There won't be a lot of big purchase decisions for us to make because I already own most everything. But when one comes up in the future, we will make it together.

I think I will be the primary money manager and watcher though. He's not that good with math and I already have all my tracking and budgeting set up. I just have to teach him how to use the program lol. I want him to at least be able to know, even if he doesn't click on the update buttons and keep it all updated for me.

I am the US woman - doing 90% of the planning for our US wedding (we will have a second one in India in the future because his parents want us to)

- What part of the preparation did/will you take care of from home during the months you use/d to move out, after you get/got your visa and before you leave/left ? How much of the 6 months did/will you use?

He (well his mom) is picking out our wedding clothing - he wants us to match. He is also picking out the jewelry and helping me figure out the customs and traditions and little things that make an Indian wedding meaningful.

- What part did/will you take care of in the US ?

I'm booking the location, mixing up the ceremony to accomodate the best of American and Hindu traditions to make one unique yet fabulous, once in a lifetime wedding event! I'm booking the venue and working out all the particulars of making it legal and bona fide by American and Hindu standards.

- and how big would you say your wedding was/is? was/is your family there?

Our wedding will be fairly small. My family will be there, his will not. There will be less than 50 people total.

i would love to hear what has been done, what has worked, what hasn't, what's planned etc...

I'm planning on having the wedding procession be in American fashion, my bridesmaids will be wearing saree's, my groomsmen wearing Indian clothing of their choice. I will be having American traditional foods as well as traditional Indian foods. I intend to do a lot of the cooking myself because he and I both prefer low sugar foods and there isn't a bakery around that would make the cake or sweets with so little sugar and they still taste good. I really don't like cakes from bakeries and such, they just are not as good as homemade in my opinion. I love to cook and I've already got my own special recipe for quite a few Indian dishes that I think would be good at my wedding.

To mingle the tradition of money blessings in India, I intend to put out money tree's on the tables (it's a tree branch potted with slits cut in the branches or some other way that guests can attach money) and I'm going to find someone to bless us with the money garlands that are placed around the couples necks.

I'm having trouble finding a pandit locally so I may wind up having to figure out something else instead. I don't give up easily though, so we will see. Instead of the unity candles being used to light one candle, I plan to use them to light the sacred fire so we can take our seven steps around the fire.

I also intend to have the whole thing video recorded and have an exhaustive amount of pictures taken.

If one of you signs up for the JC Penny's wedding registry online and adds enough items to your wish list, they will give you a free wedding planner in the store. It's very nice and can help you organize some of the information and will give you a good place to store some photos and things so you can plan whatever you want for your wedding. If there is no JC Penny's near you, try some other online American store registries like Target, they too send you coupons and some freebies to help out with some of your wedding and home making adventures. You can get email newsletters, tips, ideas. Brides.com is pretty good about sending out some great information and their website has a lot of good information too to help you plan a wedding on your budget and to suit your tastes.

The best piece of advice I can give you is start thinking seriously now about what parts of a wedding in your culture are important to you and that you really want incorporated into your ceremony. You and your fiancee can start talking and planning now for how things will be and then when the time comes you will already know what needs to be done to throw the wedding together on short notice and both of you be satisfied with the day.

When my fiancee gets here, I have to teach him how to drive like an American. He's never driven over 40km an hour, here we can drive 120 easily. He's only driven a manual car and he's used to driving on the opposite side of the car. He doesn't drive a car often as that is actually the slow way to travel in India lol.

My car is an automatic, about three times the size of his car at home and I live in the jungle as he calls it. I have to get on the interstate or take some back roads I fear would be much scarier for him hahaha....maybe this really is the jungle. I've thought about taking him to a parking lot after closing, down some of the lesser traveled roads and such just till he gets used to the car and the different driving regulations. However I would really like to hear some tips from people who have moved to the states and had to learn all these strict driving rules. (I can't wait to hear him fussing about the questions about farm vehicles on our driving test lol, that is going to be interesting because here he has to know that stuff.) Were there any tips that someone told you that you found particularly helpful? How long did you study the driving manual before you went for the test? Any useful study tips?

I would also love to hear your stories about learning to drive here.

Thanks in advance!!

I've never done this before. My fiancee has never paid attention to the customs before. I have 2 questions. First one, in the morning before the sun comes up and we eat something, does it absolutely have to be sargi or can I eat something else? To be quite honest this is a laziness issue. I don't want to go through all the trouble to learn the new recipe right now, I'm just getting over the flu and it doesn't look especially appealing. I had much rather have some fresh fruit and oatmeal that morning.

Second question. I was unable to get the day off work and I work in customer service. I am on the phone all day and they keep the fans and air conditioning blowing in the building and I'm a little concerned about being hydrated enough to make it through all that talking. I have read online that if necessary the woman observing the fast for the first time can have a few sips of water. I think in my case it would be better if I could have a piece of candy or something similar to keep my throat from drying out too bad. If it's necessary can I have a piece of candy or is that against the rules (so to speak)?

I'm not worried about going without food. I've done this kind of fast before for other reasons. This time of year I only have to go without food for about 11 hours anyway which isn't that much of a challenge for me. I'm just really concerned with the fact I'm still coughing some from that stupid flu and my throat is still irritated and I have to work. I don't want to have to put off my first karva chauth until next year if I don't have to, but my fiancee is panicking thinking I'm not going to make it and something bad will happen to him.

Thanks for your help in advance!

Thank you both!! That was very helpful. He's so cute when he's nervous, but at the same time I can't leave him suffering lol. I think now that he knows what is going to happen he will be ok. If I could afford to stay there for the entire visa process I would then he wouldn't have to worry so much.

Don't we all wish that, that we could be there for the entire visa process... Yeah, I just talked to another VJ'er here who's leaving on a plane tomorrow afternoon to India. She gets to be there throughout the entire process, thanks to her supportive parents. There's also another VJ'er who's already there with her fiance for support as well. I envy them both.

If you don't mind my asking, when is your interview date? Ours is Oct. 29th.

I don't have an interview date yet. We just got our NOA2 a few days ago. I'm expecting our interview sometime in December or later depending on how long the wait is in Delhi and how fast they catch up before then.

Thank you for your replies! I did send him copies of everything I submitted with the I129F and some files he would need for this part of the process. Sometimes you read so much on all this stuff the words just start to run together lol.

Thank you both!! That was very helpful. He's so cute when he's nervous, but at the same time I can't leave him suffering lol. I think now that he knows what is going to happen he will be ok. If I could afford to stay there for the entire visa process I would then he wouldn't have to worry so much.

I'm sorry for all the questions. I'm tired and confused lol. Too many big words at once hahaha....anyway... I'm reading over the packet 4 info from the Delhi embassy website and it says applicant divorce records. Does that mean that he doesn't have to submit my (petitioner) divorce records at the VFS? Up until just now I thought he did but I could have been reading it wrong all along. I submitted my divorce records with the petition. Does he need to submit them again at the VFS or the interview?

And since you're here, all the proof of relationship items that are submitted to VFS, does he get those back? I put together a really nice scrapbook of my last trip there and I would love for him to be able to use it, but I want it back. Can he just take it to the interview? Thanks!

Thank you all, that was very helpful!

My fiancee is very shy. He's nervous about if there is a woman at the counter taking his papers, he's nervous they may speak Hindi to him (even though he speaks hindi)....in short he's a nervous wreck. To calm his fears I promised to ask here for personal experiences with the VFS. What I want to know is are there mostly women employed there? Do they speak the native language of the state, multiple languages or just Hindi? How long do you have to wait to be seen usually? Do they allow/permit/accept/deny for anyone to come to the window/counter with you? Do they look through the documents to double check that you have them all? Do they ask a lot of questions? And last, do they itemize the documents you bring in to give you a receipt or just take them and your money? Do they look through the documents to double check that you have them all? Do they ask a lot of questions? As many details as you can provide are greatly appreciated. Thank you so much in advance!

We just got NOA 2 and have not received packet 3. However I'm asking ahead of time so there are no surprises. Does the New Delhi embassy require the last 3 years of tax returns? I was divorced in 2008 so the years 2006-2007 are going to show my married name and then 2008 doesn't show I had enough income on my own because I had moved and just gotten a job. I do have enough income, more than double what I need for sponsorship. Can I include pay stubs from my employer to prove this? Will all these complications hurt us at the interview?