ms_jinga_lala

Also to add on let him know this as well...

1. Pass through Immigration (ALONE) whether its JFK or anywhere else.

2. Pass through Customs (ALONE)

only thing that you could help him with would be

1. Either pick him up at JFK and drive back home. (expensive and painful driving)

2. Fly to JFK, Pick him up at JFK, help check-in domestic and fly back home. (more expensive a little bit less painful)

or the best...

3. Pick him up at domestic airport. (not expensive, not painful)

Choice is yours actually his lol.

Actually, Charlotte/Douglas airport is designated as international, as is Raleigh-Durham--in which case, 3 can be "book him to clear customs/immigration at CLT or RDU--and pick him up there (maybe some extra expense for airfare getting foreign fiance to POE--but much less than return-domestic airfare to JFK--with no pain)

I'm trying to do that. I'm checking 3 different websites that find multiple plane tickets at once, I know it's early, but I'm trying to get ahead on some things. I'm hoping something will pop up. Thank you so much for the ideas, I'm still checking. The EAD is not even a huge concern for me to be honest. I actually don't think he's going to be working right away anyway. He has his masters degree and will be looking for a high end job, those don't come around every day. Plus we need time to teach him to drive, get him a vehicle and such. I'm keeping all my options open.

ms_jinga_lala

Which part of North carolina do you live in?

I live in the charlotte area.. When i came to the US I came thru DEtroit andmy husband met me andmy brother met me there but since we had family we could stay in Michigan..

We visited india in Apr and I live close to bangalore so we took a direct flight from bangalore to Newark and then we flew to charlotte...

I hadn't thought of trying that option yet, thank you. I live closer to Greensboro. I was hoping the new direct Air India flights to Dulles would be an option but even they stop in NY.

Maybe it's just easier than admitting the truth - that one or the other in the relationship didn't work at overcoming cultural differences. I for one find this the hardest part of my relationship. I think these could be an even bigger challenge that finances heaven forbid. Marriage takes work, we are all marrying immigrants, that just means we have a different set of things to fight about. If you can't own up to that challenge, you shouldn't be getting married. It takes a lot more than love to maintain a marriage.

He is being very stubborn. Money is an issue right now and even though they don't seem to care, I feel guilty having him get the money from his parents like he wants to. Maybe my real issue is more about pride than it is about being there....man....didn't want to face that one.

I priced everything, it's going to cost me $710 to fly, $400 for train, $225 for the bus. That includes me going to NY and then coming back with him. It doesn't include food, lodging or anything else.

To be honest, I'm a little stubborn too. I don't want to drive that far, I can't stop a bus or a train when I want to get out and stretch. I'm trying to get some other ideas. He is absolutely inflexible on this. I know I'm going to wind up in NY. And I think I'm going to be stuck on a plane. I just know it lol. I'm just fighting it. Eh....Thanks for all of your help.

It is true that "LOVE and PATIENCE" is the key to teach someone driving. When my husband said that he is going to teach me, I was like "Oh dear!!" because he is a very impatient man especially on the road and gets irritated easily! I told him that if he yells at me while I am trying to learn, I will just not drive and not get a job..... so he promised that he won't yell. We went for our first driving lesson last week and I was extremely surprised that he didn't yell, not even one time. In fact he was a great teacher and the end of the lessons he made sure I know that he loves me and proud of me!!!

Even though he has been driving forever, there are some things that he wasn't aware that I should know and do especially when taking the test. So, I actually hired an instructor to drive with me for about 8 hrs so he could teach me things that I should know. I have done 4 hrs so far and I must say it's great. He took me to the DMV site and practice with me the skills that will be tested so I will be more prepared when the day comes to take my test.

I hope I will get a license early December or whenever my husband decides to work on my insurance

Cheeeeers....

I'm rooting for you! I think you are going to do great. It seems like you are really putting in the effort to do a good job. One things I find is helpful for me in learning things that I normally don't need to know is posting them on sticky notes all over the house. For example, in the state of NC I had to know about tractors driving on the road. (never been on a tractor, don't intend to be on one) I would post that one on the fridge because it's going to be the hardest to remember. While I don't remember the specific question now, my sticky note may have looked like this....

A tractor is allowed to drive on _____ kinds of roads at a speed not exceeding _____mph.

Then I would see it a lot and not forget it.

Another question I remember being asked is how long they can suspend your license for if you are caught driving under the influence of alcohol. I got it wrong lol...I was much stricter than they were. Oh well, should have had that on the fridge too.

Good luck!

It's been less than 5 years, my wife is now an expert driver.

The key to teaching someone driving is Patience and able to hold your heart in your palm.

1) I have a sports car, stick shift, tried teaching my wife with it, she was doing well, but was having some hard time with switching gear, so i got her a Maxima Automatic to practice on, this will eliminate the need for switching gear so she can concentrate on the driving part.

The key to it all, when teaching someone to drive, try not to overly criticizing them, because with with my wife, the more you point out the mistakes she's making, she gets more nervous, and make even worse one, so it's very difficult to hold it and stay quiet, but if it's something major you have to point it out right away.

All i have to say is communication, communication and don't be afraid to speak, we were driving home and my wife was making some critical mistakes that I had to point them out, so that made her nervous.

Even now i am still paying for it, we used to live in an Apt with a Gate, and I always stop the car before the sidewalk, waiting for the driveway to open up, my wife like to pull up right in front of the gate. I blame myself for not speaking out that day and said wait a little bit futher wait for the gate to open then proceed.

To this day i still can't recall why, or why it happened, when the gate started to open up, my wife feet probably slip off the brake, all i know we Ram the gate.

The damaged was a slightly bent gate and it went off the rail, but the Apartment complex charged my car insurance almost $6,000 for the damage.

Needless to say it went on into my record as a car accident and I haven't had a car accident or any ticket for the last 8 years, now my wife car insurance premium is much lower than mine, because I told the insurance company at the time I was the one driving.

So it takes a lot of LOVE AND PATIENCE!!

Thank goodness I am a very calm person lol. I figure the worst thing that is going to happen is that he damages the car. As long as no one gets hurt that is not a big deal. It can be fixed. I just don't want anyone traumatized either lol. I think I'm just going to take it extra slow to give him time to build up his confidence. Just a little joke....the love and patience part is easy, it's the screaming for my life that worries me...hahahahaha...jk!

I have no idea to be honest, however as an inexperienced individual I would think if you got a P.O. Box that would count as a change of address. Small price to pay for reassurance and the chance to get the letters again. Keep it as long as you need it and then get rid of it.

I don't have the money to pay off the loan before Christmas, but if the interest rate is lower than the credit cards it will be so much better in the long run. I have those establish credit kind of cards, had them for years and I'm tired of paying yearly fees and to be honest I've probably lost a fortune on interest alone. My payments total $100 a month because I pay extra on them. I have so much going on right now it would just be nice to get rid of the ones with a yearly fee, clear off the ones without them and save them for emergencies only. I have been working hard towards saving up for all the upcoming things associated with this visa however things happen and I don't have the money I need either. That is why I considered going up to $5000. So basically I would be trading high interest loans (unwarranted because they made my credit good lol) and several monthly payments for a lower interest loan, one monthly payment and the ability to quit my second job. I'm tired lol...I'm not looking forward to another 50 then 60 then 70 hour work week during the Christmas season. I did that last year and it sucked! Of course spending all that money in India made me feel a little better later on though lol.

I do appreciate the information on the scary loans you mentioned. I am just trying to get an idea of what I should and shouldn't do. It's better to hear first hand experiences than trust website content.

I have thought about the introductory rate credit cards but the ones I'm finding all go up to some really high rates later. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. I'll look harder lol. I do have a Citi account already, maybe they would be an option. As an added bonus, they are international (right?) so maybe I could add my fiancee to the account.

Thank you! Thank you!

Lol, I just told him some of this stuff and now he's asking me if I can get a train up to meet him and then we come back here by train. OMG....he's tough man...lol.

Come on

My fiancee went through JFK and it was a breeze, you give the officer the envelope and he/she will ask you to follow him to another room that look like a parking ticket courtroom except there's no judge but officers sitting behind the podium, the officer that walk you to the room will give them your brown envelope and they will ask you to take a seat.

Later on they will call you to give you back your passport, with the I94 inside along with the Temporary EAD stamp, then the officer will remind you , you have to get married within 90days and have a nice day.

That part is the easiest of all.

Once he's done with Immigration, there are lot of people there from custom/Airline to help him getting his luggage to his final destination it's less than 2 hours flight, about 1hr 35 to 1hr 50min.

That's helpful, thank you! I tried the money thing, he told me he was going to pay for all of my trip and his as well lol. So that didn't work. As for luggage, I also thought about if I fly up to meet him, I would only need a small bag, so I could take a mostly empty bag and move some of his stuff into mine to avoid over limit fees. I've thought of some of those options.

I currently work 2 jobs and go to school full time. It can be done. I intend to quit one job when I marry my fiancee. I don't need the job, I'm working it to save up money faster for the wedding, the trips to India, filing fees during the course of this process etc. You two can both work and go to school. Try to schedule your classes at roughly the same times so you don't miss each other so much. You can also take a limited schedule instead of full time college. Consider online courses. There are many options available that will still allow you to work.

You can also consider waiting a little while. True love doesn't expire or go away. I don't mean wait until you are done with school, but consider working towards saving up money to start your life so you can start your marriage off without so many complications.

Well I had to share with my fellow Canadians a few encounters I have come across since my big move from Nova Scotia to Wisconsin that has made me really wonder what they teach in American schools about a country that shares its borders.

1. While at Walmart one day I was picking out some flowering mums to put beside my pumpkins on the step when a lady noticed my license plate of "Nova Scotia" and said, well aren't you going to be happy not to be seeing snow 365 days of the year.

2. Outside at Menards (hardware store) a gentleman said to me after looking at my license plate, "Nova Scotia, Canada's Ocean Playground" where abouts in Canada is there an ocean?

3. While stopping for gas at a Kwik Trip a gentleman said to me, "oh dear, you poor thing, you really are going to miss not being able to ski here". You'll have to drive about 50 miles north.

and my personal favorite while getting in my car outside of Walgreens and elderly couple looked perplexed standing at the back of my car looking at, yet again, my license plate, and asked, "dear may we ask you a question?" to which I replied, "you sure can" and she said, "how did they get your car here....did they bring it on a boat?" I seriously thought I was going to wet myself!

TRUE stories my fellow Canadians. I don't know if I want to change my license plate, its providing me with hours of entertainment.

I've been out of school a while but the only thing I remember learning was about there being a mix of cultures, mostly French and Fanadian. I remember a pepsi can with two different languages on it. That's it lol. A few years ago though I know someone who went to Nova Scotia and was upset she couldn't find "African American" hair care products. We all had a good laugh over someone else telling her that was because she wasn't in America. That made me think that Canada can't be that much different.

Don't change your license plate, it's definitely good entertainment and it's so much cheaper than cable!

Thank you for your ideas!

That's the problem though, I work from 9 am to 6 pm every day but Sunday and Tuesday at my primary job. At my second job I work on Tuesdays, leaving me only Sunday's off and nights. It's nearly impossible to get anything done.

If I do manage to get an account at a Credit Union, are they just going to give me a loan right away? Won't I need to have the account set up for awhile, get my direct deposit changed over and all of that? I really want to get my small credit cards paid off before my fiancee gets here. There won't be any real damage if I don't, but at the same time I'm shooting for being rid of them before all this new credit ####### takes over. I don't want to be caught in the crossfire and have my interest go up. yada yada yada.

Umm, you could take the Greyhound if you absolutely hate driving. But if he has a lot of bags that'd be painful.

No, he will not need a visa for Germany. Those are layovers, you just wait in transit.

I was gonna say you need to ask him to man up. But if he's never flown before, that could be kind of scary. So try and assure him that POE's usually aren't a big deal. And it's not like you can meet him at immigrations and customs, any way. No matter what you will have to wait outside the arrival gate. JFK is a busy airport but they go through the passengers quickly. I've been through it countless times.

Oh believe me, so many times I have wanted to tell him man up lol. On the other hand I know him well enough to know that he's just a big nervous mess. He is really a spoiled kid I hate to admit. Before we got engaged he had never went anywhere alone (not even the 11 KM to his aunts house). He tells me all the time he's just a kid, but I don't think so. I know him well enough to know that he's just had everyone do everything for him and now he knows he has to change all of that. I'm working on him lol.

However, I worry some too. I went through Delhi and had a horrible time. It was my first flight ever and when I got there the people who led us in barely spoke English, and when they did it wasn't very well. That I could deal with, but they wouldn't give me my ticket, they just kept telling me to wait. It came time to get on my connecting flight to his city I still didn't have my ticket and I was panicking. That was only the worst part of all that happened while I was there. I was about to lose it and I'm a really strong willed person. I really don't want him to have to go through that and I don't think he could handle it. The changing airports thing worries me a little too. There are so many things I think are going to make this transition rough on him at that airport, not to mention the below 0 weather when he's coming from it being much warmer and he won't likely have a jacket to deal with that kind of stuff. (Did I mention part of his spoiling is my fault lol....omg.)

I told him I can't be at the back with him when they interview him and all of that, he said that was okay, he would just feel comforted knowing I was close by. I really want to be there. I kind of have an idea of taking the vacation and shopping in NY. It could be a lot of fun. Then if I drive I can stop at my moms and they can meet him. Then stop at my dads later and he can meet him, then go home. Of course, if I could get him a direct flight into Washington, that would be equally as good but less hours on the road. Ugh...I know I'm stuck with it lol. I'm going to have to do it, it will be worth it, but I can still fight to try to drive less.

Thank you so much for your response. If I get him the layover somewhere else he won't be so worried about some things. I can talk to him about that.

I have to agree with everyone else. No one besides you is going to look at this and say "it was only 3 days." They are going to see you had 180 days to make plans and you knew when the date was coming. It's not worth the trouble you are causing yourself later on down the road to overstay even 1 day. And since they have ultimate control, if someone isn't having a good day, they can deny, slow, or cause any kind of dilemma for you they want...all over "just 3 days."

I don't have time to visit the bank during the day and they close before I get off work. I want to get a loan to pay off some things so I will have a lower interest rate (small credit cards lol....). Anyway, I've been thinking about applying for a small loan and was wondering if anyone had used any online sites or businesses that offer small loans and had anything good (or bad) to say about them. Any reputable sites you have done business with or any sites that you know for sure I should avoid? I only need about $2500-5000 at most. I don't want to get another credit card, that would defeat the purpose of getting rid of the ones I have and I know the interest rate won't be lower, especially not with the new laws going into effect that are sure to drain all our bank accounts.

Any help would be appreciated, thank you!

Thanks for your help everyone! He gets on my nerves but it's actually really cute how nervous he is.....yeah...it must be love lol.

Well, I don't know if this will work for you but maybe you guys can stay the night over at the Mariott by JFK. Or is it Newark? It was $95 for a king size double bedroom the last time I stayed there. Drive to NYC. Pick him up from the airport. Order room service and enjoy yourselves at the hotel! Sleep in. And then you can drive back together the next day.

I'm also trying to chart out my flight plan. I need to get from Calcutta to South Bend, Michigan. So that's either Chicago or Detroit. Doubt there's a non-stop flight to either of those.

That is a good idea. I hate driving though....that's my problem lol. I'm just trying to figure out what is going to work out best for the both of us. I can only afford to take so much unpaid personal leave off of work to go get him. I'm not sure I'm going to get that approved either. I'm just trying to minimize the impact and I don't really want to drive 8 hours one day and then have to do it again shortly after. I'm bad..I know lol.

how about Charlotte airport via Frankfurt on US Airways from Delhi. If that is closer for you to drive.

Otherwise you would have to drive/fly. If you are driving then he can get a direct flight to JFK.

Will he need any kind of special permission or a visa to enter Germany if he does that? I'm not sure he would accept that either. He's never flown. He's never really left home other than a bus ride to his aunts house which doesn't really count lol. She doesn't live that far away, he could even return the same day if he wanted. He so nervous about all of this, I'm trying to soften the blow as much as possible.

I know Air India offers a direct flight from Delhi to JFK (I've taken it) and his family plans to take him to Delhi so they can all see him off from there. I've looked for any other direct flights to other airports but I've been unable to find anything that doesn't stop at JFK.

The problem really lies in that if they do any kind of interview process at the first airport he lands at he wants to know I'm outside waiting for him when he gets done. I don't have a problem with that, however this time off work thing is going to be a challenge. On all the flights I've checked so far they stop @ JFK then he gets another flight from there to whichever airport. He doesn't want to do that alone. How could I say no to meeting him lol. (Just fussing for a min....he totally didn't meet me in Delhi and I had to deal with that on my own but he says he can't pick up a connecting flight, he needs me at his first stop...bleh....and I know how he feels cause Delhi totally SUCKED for me...long story.) I feel like saying no would be cruel no matter what the reason - to both of us. Knowing he is so close and I could have shortened our wait to be together by a few hours is going to be torture. I don't want him having issues in NY like I had in Delhi and I know if he lands there he is going to have to change airports to come here. How can I leave him in a strange country and a strange city (even to me) and tell him find the ppl at the airport who sell bus tickets to the other airport all by himself. It just seems like something he shouldn't have to go through alone if he doesn't have to you know.

This whole situation is complicated. I need to win the lottery and quit work. I should have started playing like I mentioned months ago when I got my USCIS approval lol. Ugh.

I remember feeling that way! Look at it this way. This is America, no one in the government really works on weekends....at least the majority that can get away with it don't and USCIS is in that majority. Your petition was received on Friday Nov 6 - most likely in the afternoon. Then Sat & Sun sat untouched in an empty office. They probably opened it on Monday Nov 9. It has been 7 business days since then. If you haven't heard something by this Friday, you should call them just to check on things. Some people never get their NOA-1. It happens. Just be forewarned, it's a long long process and your next step is likely to leave you thinking like this for several months. Whenever you feel this way, take a deep breath and just relax, then call them to calm your fears. But be prepared, by the time they have anything to tell you, your petition will be long gone from their offices. It's annoying...but what can you do? So save the stress, no one needs grey hair early.

Thank you! He's been reading some things online and he thinks they are going to interview him all over again. He's so nervous and I keep trying to tell him he's nervous for no reason.

Thank you! I did check into the Washington flight but it seems to go through JFK lol. I'm trying to get his landing as close to here as possible because he wants me to be at his POE and then we go the rest of the distance together. JFK is like an 8 hour drive or so (which I think may be needed with all the stuff he wants to bring lol...not sure they allow that much luggage on US Airways, they sure didn't when I flew)

I'm trying to get an idea of how things are going to work after approval when my fiancee has his visa. (just planning for the best) I've been trying to figure out the best way to get him here so that I can meet him at his POE. I've checked on several different flight options and no matter what I search for or which location I put as destination they all seem to be going through JFK, NY. (I live on the east coast) So that leads me to some questions.

If his flight goes through and stops at JFK will they do all the POE stuff there before he gets on his next flight?

Is there any other POE that you all know of that we can get him on a flight out of Delhi directly to that POE instead of JFK?

I know when I went to see him the plane stopped in Delhi and they just kept us in a room and didn't process us for anything. However, coming back here I flew into JFK and they did all the visa checking there then let us go about our own business until we left on our own.

In advance, I'm sorry if I posted this to the wrong forum....couldn't figure out which would be best so I just posted here as it's the closest to the POE step.

-----

Since I am not going to the interview, nor am I going to go to India to fly back here with my fiancee. I simply cannot get the time off work, I've tried and if anything changes I will be on a plane lol. However, he's freaking over the border interview. So my question is, if I go to the POE will they allow me to go back to that area to be with him during all the things he has to go through?

If it matters, the most likely POE is going to be JFK, NY

Thank you in advance for your responses!

My mom freaked out when I told her I was going to India to meet a man I loved. Of course, she had a lot of wrong ideas about India. I enlightened her. Since my family is barely existent in my life she knew there was no way she was going to change my stubborn mind about the trip, the marriage or anything. She is getting better but I expect her to have a hard time adjusting. My dad who has always made it clear he does not believe in any sort of race mixing was all too happy to accept my relationship. (Of course his best friend for 30+ years was Indian and immigrated here just before they met.) My friends are all very excited and ask about my fiancee almost every day, my kids and my niece just love my fiancee already and talk about him a lot and their plans for when he gets here....makes me wonder where I fit in lol.

In India we got so many stares, some people laughed which pissed off my fiancee. Many people were curious. My fiancee got a little upset, but I honestly didn't even care or notice too much, I had my mind on happiness and enjoying my experience. I don't let people get to me too easily anyway. When he gets here, we may get some stares and some snubbing, but I don't care. I don't have time for racist idiots. And in my opinion that is what racists are in the U.S. There are not many true Americans left (Native Americans) and about 95% of this country is already a mutt of some sort. They need to just get over themselves. I guarantee there is at least some race mixing in their family at some point and just because two people are of the same skin color doesn't make it less racist. (I've researched family history....with all the Native American massacres and slave trading in our countries history....I can assure you there was race mixing going on...it was about survival as well as control which will all know tend to both be basic human instincts.) My head will always be high because I am with someone who provides more love and care than I could ever need. I am a princess....at least in the eyes of one person...therefore...I rule....and so do all of you....you are someone's prince or princess and no one has the right to make you feel like anything less.

Raising the fee won't stop the fraud, but it will help pay for extra processing and investigation to try to keep them from actually making it here.

The holidays are coming up. Make plans and both of you can go serve homeless people at a soup kitchen. Let her see how good she has it and how life really can be. Things like that have been known to change a person and maybe she can find her calling and do something in the social services field, or start volunteering. It can't hurt to try. And if you have to not tell her and make the little "trip" a suprise, then so be it. Good luck.