fil01

Aren't you suppose to put a commrnt out, especially to strangers, that you had a baby and not during labor? I was going to say congrat's, but how can I do that?

I am trying to picture Darren at the hospital during all the events and decisions............

Looking forward to the many great threads this miracle of life is going to generate in this forum.

These are such weird comments.

They be calling in for psych evals today, yes?

You nailed that one....

The "hospitol"? Thats a lot of people...right?
(Let me make sure I understand correctly)
You are stating...the hospitol staff...(complete strangers)...developed an ("dominant over her") impression (in a few days) and felt compelled to share it with you...bcoz they are "concerned"?
Shocking.
The baby looks just like you.

Gowon feeling our own pain is normal. Feeling other people's pain is extraordinary.I am very blessed, honored and grateful to be able to help those in need.
"We must become the change we want to see in the world.”
(Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi).

wow.
hey there's a specific forum here for this sort of dribble - politics and religion. not a possible abuse victim's thread asking for advice/help.

Gowon I would like to extend an invitation for you to join us in Denver Colorado from July 21 to July 25. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence will host an amazing conference called "Preserving Our Roots While Looking to the Future",it will help you understand domestic violence. I will be there representing my organization who helps victims of violence domestic.
Gowon I do not jump on the" abuse bandwagon". Besides being an attorney, I am a certified counselor and member of the American Couseling Association as well, and I think my qualifications speak for itself. When people seek refuge and shelter in my organization I do not have to "call the abuser" to find out if the person is telling me the truth or not.I am a highly qualified, experienced and certified counselor. Every single case here in the visa Journey that I gave my opinion about abuse I talked to the person in private before posting my opinion, as I did with the member brookheaven.
If you are not making a difference in someone's life then you are living your life in vain. Find a cause and speak out!

Amazing that the woman says she's miserable, isolated and being abused and you're blaming it on pregnancy hormones.
She felt threatened enough that she's frightened and wants to leave. Is that not enough for you? What needs to happen before you'll give her permission to trust her instincts and get out? Not all abuse is physical. So what if he didn't hit her? He raised his hand at her, and it bothered her enough to mention it. What about the mental abuse of being locked in the house, having absolutely no social life outside of her husband and his friends?
A woman comes out and clearly says she's scared, confused, and wants to leave. And you spend paragraphs blaming her hormones and saying SHE needs to get help.
Some people with their victim blaming, I just can't figure it out.

Dant14 you said if your husband raises his hands you will laugh. I really hope if your daughter tells you one day her husband raised his hands to her you tell her this is called disrespect and she should not tolerate in any circunstance". Every time someone abused seeks refuge in our shelter we don't tell them you should laugh because your husband raised Just his hands,but we say "It's not your fault.Violence,screaming,yelling is wrong.Mental abuse is considered abuse.You did the right thing living your abuser.You will see a psychologist soon and you will understand you were abused and you didnt deserve that". I hope that our children do not grow up with a mentality to laugh when abuse is taking place.She is being abused.How do i know that? If she arrives in my shelter I will admit her as battered person.It's not her fault.Stop with the stupid argument about hormones for God sake. She is a victim,he is the abuser.

Why the hell are YOU so quick to advise a woman to stay in a marriage where she is CLEARLY being abused? You think a man who raises his hand to her in anger, locks her in the house, and isolates her from everyone is going to go to family counseling?
This is disgusting advice and I can't believe people actually think this way.
The OP needs to get out for her sake and for the sake of her daughter.
She would not be "destroying her marriage" - her husband has already done so.
People are calling it abuse because that is what it is. Have you ever been abused? Or known someone who has? This is how abuse works. The victim becomes dependent on their abuser, so they think they should stay. And then they have wackjobs actually telling them TO stay even though their lives are miserable.
Plenty of husbands are stressed and don't always feel good about themselves, but not all of them come home and raise their hands to their wives in anger, or isolates them from the rest of the world.
My god.

Givemegoodnews I am going to send you an invitation to attend some "violence domestic convention", and you will be able to educate yourself about abuse. One of the things ALL non profit organizations who helps victims of violence domestic say is that FIRST YOU SEEK SHELTER TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE ABUSER and after that you discuss about your marriage. I am dealing with victims of domestic violence over 22 years, and how about you? . Let's say NO to all forms of violence, let's advise who is living with abuser to seek refugee in a safe place.Speak out and help others in need, but give some advice please based in your experience working with battered people.

Sounded like classic abuse. They force you into a position of dependency on them and then use it to terrorize you. Sounds like you made the right first step.

Your husband is an abusive man.It's clear the line was crossed. Keeping you lock up in the house, isolating you from the world, no friends,no life,raising his hands when he is mad.My dear isolating, ignoring, rejecting is a form of mental/psychological abuse. You need to get away from this kind of abusive relationship. We are our choices and it's time for you take some control of your life and make some serious decisions. Emotional abuse slowly eats away at a victim's self-confidence, you used to be a bubbly happy person and now you can't even recognize who you became right?. The longer you stay in this abusive relationship the greater the toll will be in your self-esteem. The more you put up with it the more he will do it. Verbal abuse, or abuse of any kind is never ok.
Find a shelter who helps victims of domestic violence,if you fear for your life get a restraining order against him. Despite you submitted the I-751 you still can file a new I-751 based in Vawa, you do not a divorce decree to apply for Vawa. Life doesn't have to be like this at all, you have the option to leave, and you will be able to succeed in life without him! Life is a precious gift.This is your life, take it back. Remember that you are strong, you are someone's daughter, someone's sister and someone's mother.You are important,you deserve the best. If you need to find some shelter or help with some immigration issues you can send me a message.I am an attorney and I own a non profit organization who helps victims of domestic violence. You are never alone.

Please provide the link showing that tax transcripts are preferred.
Using your logic, if someone was delayed because they used transcripts instead of returns, wouldn't it have been wise to follow directions and submit a return in the first place? By the way, weren't you the one who was whining about efficiency in the St. Lukes thread? Now you're recommending the opposite.

I haven't checked what the USEM says about CR-1'ers/IR-1'ers. However, the USEM calls only for tax returns from K-1'ers.
Most K-1'ers submit only tax returns. Some K-1'ers submit only tax transcripts. I submitted both.
There have been cases here on VJ where tax transcripts were submitted and the USEM then required tax returns to be submitted.
Caveat emptor.

:thumbs:
:thumbs:
:thumbs:
Best idea: file his 2011 income tax return today!

I am a "Once a cheater always a cheater" believer.
In my book, there's no justification and there's no forgiveness. Sorry to hear your trouble but, time to move on.

There's a difference between calling someone a fool and pointing out foolish behavior. Knowingly marrying a cheater and a liar is indeed foolish behavior, and that's precisely what the OP wants to do. The OP needs professional help.
Also, the OP is getting lots of compassion on this thread. However, she also needs a wake-up call.

You should have your head examined for even thinking about marrying a cheater and a liar.

I know the definition of shy. I know shy people. I grew up with friends that were shy. I worked with shy people. I've seen shy children, I've seen shy adults.
Having seen her FB... Having seen the pictures that she has on public display, having seen you and your wife's adult conversation displayed on FB for everyone to read...
...Believe me, your wife is NOT shy.

Darren,
Thank you for not posting a racial stereotype.
I hope you will answer a few questions. Please help me garner a better understanding.
I promise I won't harsh you (in this thread) if you don't stereotype. (and) I bet other VJ's won't harsh you (excessively) if you keep focus on you and yours (and avoid stereotyping).
(It's really ez to do...think of it like this...You and I are American but...we are obviously different in many many ways .So...don't assume we will agree on anything just bcoz we are both American...get it?)
Okay...let's review.
Do you think your wife should submit to you? Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)= "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord".. Is this your mindset?
Do you have a freezer?
Are you complaining your wife is not reading to your kids?
"Shut me out"...hmmmm...That phrasing sends a negative message. Are you paranoid? Why does her speaking Visayan bother you? (I wish you point by point this.)