Brad and Vika

Post containing degrading commentary and one post quoting it removed. Please keep political discussion in the appropriate forums.

Letter to USCIS and maybe the Embassy is all it will take.
A simple re-evaluation of your master plan, tighten your search criteria and stick solidly to the cardinal rules and you'll meet very serious and sincere women.
Arguments shouldn't happen in this phase of any relationship, that's an indication something was amiss.

Closed for review - and may have gone sideways enough to remain closed.

Closed for review - and may have gone sideways enough to remain closed.

Closed for review - and may have gone sideways enough to remain closed.

I'l comment on the second one first. Charles did close a few threads, warned us, banned a few of us, and told us to tone it down some. We did and we thought that would be the end of it. But no it wasn't for the fact these "members that are complaining" are the same peeps who contribute a big fat zero to this site. They never have any thing positive to say, they never contribute to a thread other than to b*tch, p*ss and moan. It's like they hate life, and hate themselves. I can say that you at least do have something constructive to say in the P & R forum, and even sometimes in the RUB forum. But for a few other peeps that are intent on starting thread after thread in this part of the board...they have nothing better to do than to b*tch about others on here.
It's the same peeps who come into other regional forums flaming away and then when they get shown the door they cry and whine even more. I believe it's due to a poor sex life, home life...something near that... but that's just an educated guess.

As far as setting the wrong standard, I suppose that all depends on what standard you want to set. My wife is a stay at home mom and I had no problem supporting her fully before or after we got married. On the other hand, I didn't meet her online and spent quite a bit of time with her in person so there never was a trust issue.

Right. And the stronger personalities mentioned earlier are exactly the ones who dislike being moderated, and report lots of people for lots of stuff, engage in vendettas, try to police by proxy, etc. More forums + more mods just creates more potential venues for conflict, and some folks are even more sensitive to any comment made in their regional than they would be in OT, say. I think Ewok is open to trying changes to VJ that might make the regionals more friendly, but it is a tough problem IMO.
Another issued pointed up earlier is mod time. Many of us have jobs, families, etc. that tend not to revolve around the internet, so we have limited time on VJ every day. I think there are absolutely times when legitimate issues have to wait for attention. It frustrates mods at times too. I am not sure more mods are the answer to the problem though, because there is no telling on any given day how heavy the workload may be, or what it will be. Some members have loads of web time, and when they get the mood - we wind up spending a fair amount of time mediating instead of trying to help with site issues, usage questions, etc. As you see every day, the mediation usually makes the aforementioned personalities even more active sometimes.
Any way, thanks for your input.

We all know that the members who would be the subject of those topics are exactly the ones who would pay them no mind, other than to scream (again) about how terribly everything is run and the shabby treatment they get. They would never just leave though, because they enjoy the drama too much to do that.

AJ... fair and balanced Seriously AJ, considering the amount of complaining you do, your concern for the feelings of a mod is very much appreciated. Try not to worry about me too much though. I don't spend anywhere near the amount of time on the internet that you do, so I tend to take your jibes with a fair amount of good humor. I would have to take you more seriously to be bothered much. No danger of that.

What I find contemptable is members using VJ as a social networking service, and acting like they have a right to burn resources needed by those that actually have an immigration issue to deal with. Things like policing by proxy, mashing the report button to force the mods to run in circles mediating some drama that you started, and screaming bloody murder when your wishes aren't followed.
Funny, this is something you do all the time.
Being used to police that way is a source of unending frustration for us. As AJ has stated (among others), Ewok is reluctant to permanently ban the folks that take up so much of our time policing nothing. The regulars know it, and constantly push the TOS to the limit while reporting every violation (or imagined violation) from people they don't like. I agree with your initial point about folks in the upper forums needing our attention and help with the site. Please appreciate how tough it is to give them enough when four members in P&R are casting insults and posting porn links, then reporting each other ten times because they are so offended on religious grounds (just a made up example).

Baiting, waiting for a response, then reporting is like crying to mommy after you kicked your older brother and ran away.

Problem is, most of the folks hitting the report button are the biggest offenders themselves.

One of the lessons I LEARNED was that you get MORE ACTION by reporting the posts, rather than actually playing along with that other member. YMMV, greatly, however.

We all know that the members who would be the subject of those topics are exactly the ones who would pay them no mind, other than to scream (again) about how terribly everything is run and the shabby treatment they get. They would never just leave though, because they enjoy the drama too much to do that.

AJ... fair and balanced Seriously AJ, considering the amount of complaining you do, your concern for the feelings of a mod is very much appreciated. Try not to worry about me too much though. I don't spend anywhere near the amount of time on the internet that you do, so I tend to take your jibes with a fair amount of good humor. I would have to take you more seriously to be bothered much. No danger of that.

What I find contemptable is members using VJ as a social networking service, and acting like they have a right to burn resources needed by those that actually have an immigration issue to deal with. Things like policing by proxy, mashing the report button to force the mods to run in circles mediating some drama that you started, and screaming bloody murder when your wishes aren't followed.
Funny, this is something you do all the time.
Being used to police that way is a source of unending frustration for us. As AJ has stated (among others), Ewok is reluctant to permanently ban the folks that take up so much of our time policing nothing. The regulars know it, and constantly push the TOS to the limit while reporting every violation (or imagined violation) from people they don't like. I agree with your initial point about folks in the upper forums needing our attention and help with the site. Please appreciate how tough it is to give them enough when four members in P&R are casting insults and posting porn links, then reporting each other ten times because they are so offended on religious grounds (just a made up example).

The general rule is to include only what you need. As stated above, you will need the certificate later though.
Edited to say except for proof of relationship. Members include a huge amount of data (phone/skype logs, pictures, you name it), mostly without need.

What to do next depends on whether you came here simply to object and complain or take constructive action. Your age difference is relevant in the eyes of the Consular officers who will make decisions about any visa. For us to help you, we need to understand your circumstances including not just the age difference but the actual ages, how many visits and for how long, how you initially became acquainted and anything else except your actual names, dates of birth and other private information that you think might be considered applicable to your situation.
You'll also want to ask you fiance to write as complete and accurate a description (think verbatim transcript) of his experience at the interview, specifically including the questions asked and answers given.

I don't think anyone with half a brain would consider Bin Laden to be someone with sound islamic virtues.

You are a good soul and I understand feeling for another human being but self-preservation is paramount here. He is killing you slowly, but surely. You need to consult with a Woman's Shelter. Get an order of protection if you are scared (especially if he has hit you or threatened you) and it sounds like he will go crazy if you ask him to leave. If you want to withdraw the petition, don't go to the interview and write to USCIS informing them that you wish to withdraw the petition. You must attend as a couple any immigration hearing. As for him, he can go to a mosque (?) or he can go home, since he doesn't want to be your MAN why should you treat him like your husband? As a MAN, he repulses me and paints us all in a bad light. As far as not having sex, it's because he doesn't want to be intimate with you.

I'm sorry if my response is a bit blunt, I realize that you're in pain already but here goes.
Sister, he's playing you. A MAN doesn't let someone he purportedly loves suffer. Not even for a second. If he has to dig ditches and scrub toilets, then that's what a MAN does. Your new husband is a house guest and a sponge, nothing more and nothing less. I'm sorry but that's my feeling on the matter. He doesn't want to marry you, period. If he loved you he would stand up to his family and tell them, especially after you're legally married for 8 mos. Heck, he'd say 'let's get hitched' and be done with it. He's a user, pure and simple. He feels no compulsion in being lazy and doesn't feel any sympathy for you whatsoever. You are killing yourself, for what? Don't you deserve better than this? He gets "very verbally abusive and behaves erratic," when confronted, what do you suppose will happen in the future? His normal is for you to kowtow to his whims and not question him, what's wrong with this picture? If you've never had sex then the marriage is legal but it can be annulled since it has never been consummated.

If the Pakistani Government/Military ever loses custody of the nukes, they could end up anywhere, as perhaps some did after the fall of the former USSR. In the Pakistani case, we are talking about tactical nukes. In the case of the FSU, we are talking about small man-portable devices that we hope we have a correct tally of.

The real threat is this. The US ends support for Pakistan. The current government collapses. A new government forms like Hamas.....they have nukes and could care less about mutual destruction.

One might say that a certain Operation Iraqi Freedom was a breach of sovereignty given that it was premised on a blatant lie. At least this time what they went in to look for was actually there..