Elmarko19

your right . im extremely burnt out . i dont know how to handle her and if i have her committed my stepkid will run away for sure shes already threatened . its just a horrible situation no matter what I decide to do . i work 6 days a week to support them both and so im busy busy im a business owner . 

On 9/4/2021 at 11:53 AM, debbiedoo said:

I know how it was intended, even if others did not. Lack of personal care that is typically normal for a person is common in a person who is depressed, in general and particularly so in BPD.

 

I say this, with all compassion in my heart, because my husband lived with this for twenty years. I have heard so many stories, from him, from his family, from HER family, from their friends, from his kids, even as recently as this past WEEK... this is a disease that love can not fix. With the proper meds and therapies (and her willingness to STAY on them) ... you'd have a chance. Without it...you are only postponing the inevitable. Love does not conquer all, and 'for better or worse' and 'in sickness and in health' does not apply to every situation, sadly. With each cycle she goes through, you run the risk of it getting worse. Some might not be quite as bad, but some may be, quite literally, life threatening. For either of you. or all of you. And you never know, from day to day, what you are going to wake up to.

 

And had my husband been in the US and not Canada, all of her commitments (6 total I think?) and other healthcare costs, likely would have bankrupted him. Her spending in general came close enough to doing that. And he made over 6 figures a year just as he does here, so it's not as though he was scraping by. I won't get into the emotional and physical toll it took on him. Those are his stories to tell if he chooses to do so, not mine.

 

I truly wish you the best of luck. You will need it. And if you ever want to reach out to us, please feel free to do so.

yes how can i reach you ?

The intention was to show she is mentally not well . Not meant as offense . I’ve now determined that this is mainly a mental health issue not a legal one . I appreciate everyone’s advice . Unless I decide to get her committed which I really don’t want to do then she is my responsibility to make sure she is taken care of until she gets back to normal . It’s typically a cycle with bipolar behavior . Thanks everyone . 

great idea Hanone. She is having a mental breakdown and wont speak or listen to me , so I wrote her a letter offering to send her home for 4-5 weeks and buy a 2nd laptop so she could work from home there . her mother is there dying slowly of dementia - and i know its tough for her here in US. 

Sorry no offense meant . But both devushkas have said repeatedly Russian women love high fashion and only want to go out in high attire clothing . Their russian friends seem to always agree with them . 

Please yes I’m dying for any advice you can give me . She’s not on any medication at all and refuses therapy. She doesn’t leave the house , doesn’t shave and doesn’t want anyone around her . It’s hard to figure how seriously I should take her comments - but she’s like almost all the time now as she has no friends and works from home . 

Even if I file for annulment and the judge grants the request? An attorney said I would not be financially responsible for them if the marriage was successfully anulled.

My wife and stepdaughter recently got their conditional green cards a few months ago. I married her December 2019. She now suddenly gets super angry (she is bipolar )  so somewhat normal, but shes moved everything over to other side of apartment, and is telling me shes amazingly tired of being with me. She conveniently wants either me to leave permanently, but not a divorce of course, or she wants me to just move out and never return and leave the lease in her name. This is after 4 years of supporting her and her disabled daughter who I spend a fortune on regarding medical bills, insurance, etc etc. Im going to talk to an attorney of course- I just want some honest advice because im both of their legal sponsors and financially liable for them. And they are Russian and love to spend spend spend and not worry about what anything costs. They dont even drive ive driven them everywhere and Im positive they are either going to wreck the car I bought them or leave me owing thousands if they do leave my place. Can I have marriage annuled and are they stuck in USA for good no  matter if I do divorce or have marriage annuled ? Clearly thats all they wanted was free green cards. Let me know please your thoughts thanks.