Dr. A ♥ O

Happy
Friday to one and all. Working only half day today and hoping for a great weekend. Take care now. (L)

AMEN! Im in SD too! Marhababik
I am thankful for sending off our RoC packet last weekend. We are both doing school and working and harldy ever get to spend more than 1 hour together except on the weekend. Yesterday his class got out early and he got home and we just watched TV for 2 hours and hanging out. Anyway, I hope to get to know more of you guys

Hi...and aren't we just blessed, I love it here

So I have really enjoyed reading these forums! Its just nice to see other people in similar situations
Although I have been married less than a year, I have had some funny experiences and one just yesterday that made me laugh. My husband was born a nomad....lived in a tent until he was 10, his father was head of a camel caravan that transported spices etc. Well, for the most part, he is pretty "worldly" now. He went to school, studied biology, speaks 7 languages, has a successful tour business, and is very intelligent. But yesterday I cam home to the overwhelming smell of burnt plastic and found a large circular burn mark in the center of the dining room floor. My sweet nomad had been cooking with a tagine (a ceramic Moroccan crock pot basically) and it was so hot, he decided to open the door and set the tagine on the floor to let it cool. Which of course would had been perfectly fine in the sand or a desert tent, or even the cement or tile floors of Morocco...but not on lanoliem. When I explained to him the floor was essentially plastic he could hardly believe it! "Why would you make a plastic floor, it makes no sense, really they are a little crazy here in America!"
There are definitely some unexpected funny things, but I love being married to my nomad! (L)

Great topic We have been married 3 years this past January, today is his 2 year anniversary here, and married life has been better than I expected, I'm so thankful for that. We met in 2008 when I worked in Dubai and he worked in Qatar. We met when he traveled to Dubai for business.......we both knew pretty quickly that we were what the other always wished for in a lifetime mate.
We are both Muslim and that is very important to us.
We honeymooned in Egypt near his family and they are all very sweet and I love them. He still goes on skype every week to talk with everyone back home.
He already was used to living away from Egypt for several years working in the Gulf, so he adjusted to living in the US very easily. We live in a pretty large suburban area and he started driving and found his way around right away. He found his first job in his field only 9 weeks after he arrived and has worked ever since. He is still the same after all this time, no unpleasant suprises, so we are very fortunate.
He is very very affectionate with I love you's and helpful, around the house and with my 7 year old daughter......he helps her with homework and treats her like his own. My daughter's name is the same as his mother's name....we always laugh about that....that it was a good sign for us I even put in her baby book that if she was a boy, that I would have named her Ahmed (his name).
He's also very ambitious career-wise, does yardwork for my mom (my father passed away many years ago). He also helped my much older sister re-landscape her backyard and does yardwork for their older neighbors as well.
We are in the process of buying our first house together and planning a baby, so we are very excited about all of that. All in all, he's the best husband I could ever ask for and we feel we are a perfect match for each other. We look forward to growing very very old together

My husband and I have been married for one year. The relationship part of our marriage is pretty much as I expected. The only thing that is a little different from what I expected, is how we communicate our feelings. Being as we had almost entirely an internet relationship while dating, we did alot of talking about our feelings. Now that he is here we don't do that as often, and I have to admit that I miss it a bit. I ask Hamza often, tell me how your feeling ? We used to talk for hours about an endless love He does tell me he loves me often, he is just not quite as romantic as he was via the net. He says this is because he is here now, and he can show me he loves me in his actions, and doesn't feel like its necessary to talk about it all day. He does show me he loves me in his actions. He Cooks dinner most nights, and if we are all home he does lunch too, he cleans the house, does the dishes, if I am working, or if he notices something needs taken care of he does it. He does the laundry, when I'm slacking. He takes care of my daughter when I'm at work, or sleeping during the day (cause I work night shift) He loves my daughter, and really treats her like she is his. That is the most important thing.He loves my family, and really fits right in with everyone. He is always making me special goodies, cakes, flan, other pastry experiments. He values my opinion, and asks me advice. So I guess maybe its a women's thing to find it necessary to talk about feelings, or maybe I just became accustomed to it because it was our only form of communication for a long time. However this is the only things that is lacking from our relationship.... and truthfully it is not a big deal, and I only ever bring it up with him, when I am PMSing
Other things that I wasn't expecting, outside of our relationship is the length of time it took him to find a job. It was almost the entire year before he could find a job. Part of this is because of transportation. I live in a small town, where job opportunities are non existent. He can not drive yet either, so he really couldn't look to far out of town, otherwise no one would be able to drive him to and from. Finally he found a job where he is able to walk to. Another thing is that he still does not have his drivers license. He doesn't really mind not driving, until special occasions come along, where he would like to drive to the stores (all 15 min drives or more away) to buy me or my daughter something special , and he is unable to. However he is always able to find a way to get something, or do something special anyway. These are things neither of us expected, and he did get a little frustrated about not finding a job quickly, but he kept himself busy renovating our house, and volunteering at the YMCA, going to school at the community college.... and golfing with my dad.
We have different religions, and I was a little worried if this was going to cause problems once he got to America... but it hasn't at all. Occasionally we have a disagreement about something, and usually its over a misunderstanding. Most things in religion we agree about.We are still working out the kinks, in how we will raise any children we will have religiosity wise. We are going to have a planned pregnancy, once we feels its the right time, and we can come to a complete plan/compromise on the religion issue. We do have an idea of how we are going to do this, just haven't talked about the details in a while, as we r not planning on a child right now.
Hamza has adjusted to life in America, really without any kind of culture shock, home sickness, or any other problems. He talks to his family daily, on skype... this has helped a lot. We are making plans to visit this fall, and that's something we are both looking forward too. He is family guy, and would rather spend time with me, my daughter, and my family then go out with friends, so meeting other guys to hang out with hasn't been an issue. However I do hope he finds some guys he can spend time with , when he wants to. The closest Mosque is about 1 1/2 hours away, so he rarely gets the chance to go. He does hang out with me and my friends and their husbands, and gets along with them very well.
Overall life is what I expected, hoped, and prayed for. I thank god everyday, for all the blessings that came into my life, when I met Hamza.

We just got married on Saturday, but I will chip in my 2 cents. New York could swallow you alive, no matter where you come from. You could be the toughest, most independent person, but once here, you feel you need your mama. That said, I was really cautious about the adaptation process with my now husband. I must say, by the 2nd day he managed the subway and got to the gym all by himself! He's been here for almost 1 month and he's finalizing his personal training certification just so he can get a job in the meantime. We love going out as well as staying home and watching TV together. One of the most important things: he absolutely LOVES to help in the home. He loves to cook and clean the kitchen. I get home and the kitchen is spotless! Garbage is always empty, bathroom in order, etc.
I am yet to see any changes. I'm sure that'll happen once he gets a job and he makes more friends. Right now, his friends are my friends, which is fine. However, I'm sure he'd like to mingle with his heritage at some point. In the meantime, he's learning Spanish and salsa dancing

No, life has not been what I expected
The hardest part for us was when he got here. We're both very independent and hard headed and because most of my family lives outside the US it made it harder to get the support I needed in the first year. There were many many arguments that happened, even though we talked everyday for 2 years before he came over and we talked a. Once he was able to work though it became a lot easier for us to really appreciate the time we have together and value what we do for each other.
Now we've been married 3.5 years and have a 6 month old. Its a challenge everyday but we make it work and its totally worth it.

We chose to wait for 2 years before trying to get pregnant because I wanted us to work out most of the adjustment issues before bringing a child into the mix. It took us 6 months to get pregnant once I went off BC.

This is such a great topic!
We've been married almos 3 years all ready and I can say time has just flown by! My husband has been here going on 2 years now and we are in the process of ROC. I can honestly say it was a real bumpy road the first 6 months of him being here. Specially coming from a small village on the west bank of Luxor. I can say I have myself a real hillbilly Egyptian! Once he got past the culture shock and yes, it was a big shock, he did great. He got his drivier''s license after being here 4 months and with that he became much more independant and more adventurous. He got a full time job that he enjoyed shorly afterwards and now is going to school and getting ready to get his cdl license so he can drive the big rigs!
I am so happy how things are turning out together, but like any marriage, it's a give and take situation. And yes, he is very affectionate to where I'm more like "leave me alone and don't touch me"! I've learn to appreciate and love his affection because I know that I would completely miss them if I didn't have them!

Met Wael almost 8 yrs ago and have been married almost 6 yrs. He arrived in the states Dec 07, so
it's almost 5 yrs since he left Egypt. We certainly were very fortunate to not have any adjustment problems.
He has loved the states since his arrival, worked for a few months and decided to go back to school. He has
a BA in Accounting, obtained his BS in Economics, and now will graduate with his MBA (Finance) May 11.
Last year he went home for the first time since arriving here. He had just graduated from the University of Arizona
and was a new American citizen. The first week he was back in Egypt, he couldn't wait to come "home"! So much
had changed. Of course he misses his family and speaks with them a couple times a week. He's just been so busy
studying and it has consumed so much of his time. I love and have always loved his independent nature and his
love for learning. He's still the same kind and gentle man I met and married. We have no problems with him being
Muslim and me Catholic. I learn and he learns. My family just adores him!
Tammy, replying to your topic of has it been what I expected....it has been more than that. I count my blessings
everyday and could not imagine myself without my sweetheart. He's such a good guy!!

Marriage has generally been what I expected it to be. Fun, work, compromise, listening, being listened to, being comforted, comforting, being annoyed at times, and being annoying at others, etc. What I didn't realize was what a mirror it would be for myself. To have someone there you're always interacting with day in and day out, it has provided me with a lot more insight than expected about myself. Some good, some not so great. It helped me see how much more patient I should be. It taught me how much more patient my husband is than I am, and has inspired me to work on that.
Other than that, I feel like we've been blessed on the adjustment front. My husband got work in his field almost immediately and has steadily gotten better jobs in the time he's been here. That has been an incredible blessing and something I'm thankful for on a daily basis.
Re: children, we are hopeful to expand our family within the next year, either through pregnancy or kefala/adoption. My husband and I are equally ecstatic and excited about either prospect. I'm also blessed and thankful on a daily basis that we agree on that front.
I can't remember if it's this thread or the other one where people have also included other dynamics about the relationship. My husband is a few years older than me; we share the same religion; I converted many many years before meeting my husband. We were both older (35+) and equally established in our lives before we met. (Sorry if that's the other thread; I think I'm mixing them up.)

Marriage and family life with my husband are pretty much what I expected. Although we grew up in two completely different worlds, I think we share many of the same ideals and goals for our lives. Being married to him has taught me to not be such a brat. I was barely 21 when we married and I've grown up a lot with him in the last 10 years. He's become more flexible as the years have gone on as well. What I think has happened is we've both morphed into this comfortable place with each other both giving and taking in order to make our lives together happier. The first few years were very hard and I'm not going to try and brush over that. We had a baby within the first year and, as I said previously, I was a brat. My parents were fairly well-off, I went to private school, went on lots of vacations, still lived at home, and generally got everything I wanted. My husband, on the other hand, is the second of ten children. They lived an average, cramped life in Algeria. He lived abroad for many years, both in the US an Europe, before we married. I think this prepared him for marrying someone outside of his culture and taught him some self sufficiency. It's done us both well because he is much more helpful and adjusted than other Algerians we know in our city. Marriage and adjusting to a new life and a new routine, prioritizing someone else's wants and needs as well as your own, is very difficult...especially for a 21 year old. I'm proud of us for making it.
This past weekend we were looking at our wedding photos and reminiscing a bit. It's sometimes hard for me to comprehend that we've given almost a decade of our lives to each other. We just...are. It's corny and everything, but I really cannot or do not want to imagine our lives not together. I hope and pray for many more decades.

Yes, congrats to Farid! Sounds like there are many blessings happening for you two.

Well got updated USCIS status saying Farid's oath ceremony letter on its way. We are excited about this. He truly deserves being a naturalized citizen, I am so very proud of him. He just bought me some sugar wafers. Good man.
And I just got my house rented again to new people. God is great, we are truly blessed.

Sending my best wishes on your upcoming Naturalization process Tamara and Adam.

I found that while establishing goals is good, things change. We had a long courtship and then a long visa process so we had loads of time to discuss life and how it was gonna be. Then they get here and the reality may not fit the perceptions. This may cause some adjustments in the relationship and some serious redefining those original goals.

I found that while establishing goals is good, things change. We had a long courtship and then a long visa process so we had loads of time to discuss life and how it was gonna be. Then they get here and the reality may not fit the perceptions. This may cause some adjustments in the relationship and some serious redefining those original goals.

I found that while establishing goals is good, things change. We had a long courtship and then a long visa process so we had loads of time to discuss life and how it was gonna be. Then they get here and the reality may not fit the perceptions. This may cause some adjustments in the relationship and some serious redefining those original goals.

i don't cause now i'd have to sort it all out.

Have a great Saturday guys. I really enjoy our MENA forum.

This Yankee along with my Egyptian hubby might just have turned near Cajun on everyone Just ate about 6lbs of spicy crawfish! I just called mom over to finish off the rest!

thanks for the best wishes

Hi Jackie
To the newer people on here...please share how you are and some experience if any you can give as a woman with a MENA man...
I would appreciate more input from the people who went through the process ahead of me.

Hey ya'll still have monthly threads? (i remember when we had daily threads that would get locked...ah the good ole days) Have I really been a member here for 9 years? I want a gold star ;-)
Hope everyone in the path of the tornadoes is safe. Crazy weather lately.
Jackie