JeffAtl

Thank you for this. I know everyone (or most) say I should pull the I-864, but an immigration attorney said that surely means deportation. No guarantees on Asylum or TPS and then I'd have to support her anyway until she found work, probably as a condition of the divorce. So I feel trapped. Thank you for giving me a different way to view it. She is an educated professional and wants to work, so I may just have to trust that she never goes on welfare. She's a bit materialistic in some ways. Has that Western mentality, which bothers me. On the other hand, having that mentality would prevent her from just getting by on government assistance. Very educated and her skills are in demand. Companies are contacting her without her applying for anything as it is. She wants full control of the household decisions. There is no compromise. I've been the one compromising. Its not how I want a marriage to be. I sort of relate to your husband, as that's a "head of household" mentality. On the other hand, I agree with you on having an equal vote. It's a struggle when you're with someone who always wants the opposite of you though. Lots of fighting. I just feel trapped. The kicker is she now wants me to sponsor her sister and her family. Thats a no go since I'd be responsible for them too! I have to say no to that. I don't trust my own wife, so how could I trust her sister who I don't even know?

She wants to stay together. I honestly don't know how you did that, staying together through all that. This has been the longest, roughest 10 months of my life. I have a stepson also. So our issues include everything from parenting to having not much in common to the bedroom. There's a huge values difference that I didn't see before. We're doing marriage counseling and she sometimes goes to church with me, though she's a non-believer, which is another issue. I work all day and am expected to do just as much (or more) as she does at home. Meanwhile, she has no structure to her days and just does what she wants. She hates cooking (so do I) and that's a huge pain point for us. She barely cleans or does anything. I'm supposed to hire cleaning people! Uh, no, not happening. Anyway, many, many issues. So many it's overwhelming. There's days I come home that I don't want to go inside the house. I spoke with an immigration attorney last week and the news was not good, so I am stuck for now. I can't send her back to Ukraine and there's no guarantee she can stay in the U.S. If she does, she'd have to apply for asylum or TPS and wok permit all over again and I'd have to support her until then. That means we have a lot more waiting to do. We are now in month 8 since applying for AOS and I'm very angry that it's taking so long. No interview scheduled, no nothing. Just sit an wait and struggle financially for months and months. I naively thought this would be a 4-5 month process, which I was prepared for, but not this long. We discussed it last week and decided to keep trying, but I just feel like we're way too different for it to work long term. For now, just trying to change how I communicate with her to keep the peace. I feel used, I have to admit.

I would tell them to cut her off completely. You're right, I don't have much knowledge of it and it is hard to get one where I live, so chances are it will be divorce. Had I acted 6 months ago, it would have been different I think.

The issue is the TPS could take a long time (per my immigration attorney), though he didn't define how long. So what does she do in the meantime? I can't afford 2 households, so we will live uncomfortably together when the divorce happens and I will cancel her credit cards (in my name). I should have done that already, but she isn't a spendthrift. Besides, if she went crazy with them, I could use that in court to prove my point for annulment I guess. Will know more when I meet with another attorney today. I'm beyond disappointed. What a costly lesson, emotionally and financially.

Attorney said I-485. But the question is what happens to her once I do this. I would think TPS status could be granted, but I don't know. Hopefully the judge doesn't make me fully support her. But I can't imagine a judge will view this favorably since she's from Ukraine. But the marriage has only been 8 months. If annulment was possible, I'd do that, but seems impossible. I clearly didn't know who I was marrying, and vice versa. We bring out the worst in each other and it has to end. I'm very disappointed and trying to stay strong through this and protect myself. But also, I care for her and want her to be ok. It's a disaster, and the "nice guy" in me just wants the best for her and her son. No more animosity or resentment now that I've made my decision.

I have a divorce lawyer and an immigration attorney guiding me. Process is getting started this week.

No, that is not the reason. Financial pressure on me aside, this is a bad fit. I thought we shared similar values, but we don't. There isn't even a foundation. Even when I try to have a calm conversation with her, I get attacked. In some ways she's like my mother. Her way or the highway. Well, she doesn't know it yet, but I'm taking the highway. I invested so much in this through pre-marital counseling, couples workshop, paying for her school, and therapy. I'm done. This is the end of me being taken advantage of.

I'm contemplating divorce but can't afford to support 2 separate households. Can my wife get a Temporary Protected Status and work if we have already applied for AOS and are still waiting 8 months later? I wanted to wait until she could work, but on the other hand an annulment may be in order. Surely she wouldn't be forced to go back to Ukraine, so it should work in both of our favor. I can't believe the mess I'm in.