JeffAtl

Thank you for this. I know everyone (or most) say I should pull the I-864, but an immigration attorney said that surely means deportation. No guarantees on Asylum or TPS and then I'd have to support her anyway until she found work, probably as a condition of the divorce. So I feel trapped. Thank you for giving me a different way to view it. She is an educated professional and wants to work, so I may just have to trust that she never goes on welfare. She's a bit materialistic in some ways. Has that Western mentality, which bothers me. On the other hand, having that mentality would prevent her from just getting by on government assistance. Very educated and her skills are in demand. Companies are contacting her without her applying for anything as it is. She wants full control of the household decisions. There is no compromise. I've been the one compromising. Its not how I want a marriage to be. I sort of relate to your husband, as that's a "head of household" mentality. On the other hand, I agree with you on having an equal vote. It's a struggle when you're with someone who always wants the opposite of you though. Lots of fighting. I just feel trapped. The kicker is she now wants me to sponsor her sister and her family. Thats a no go since I'd be responsible for them too! I have to say no to that. I don't trust my own wife, so how could I trust her sister who I don't even know?

She wants to stay together. I honestly don't know how you did that, staying together through all that. This has been the longest, roughest 10 months of my life. I have a stepson also. So our issues include everything from parenting to having not much in common to the bedroom. There's a huge values difference that I didn't see before. We're doing marriage counseling and she sometimes goes to church with me, though she's a non-believer, which is another issue. I work all day and am expected to do just as much (or more) as she does at home. Meanwhile, she has no structure to her days and just does what she wants. She hates cooking (so do I) and that's a huge pain point for us. She barely cleans or does anything. I'm supposed to hire cleaning people! Uh, no, not happening. Anyway, many, many issues. So many it's overwhelming. There's days I come home that I don't want to go inside the house. I spoke with an immigration attorney last week and the news was not good, so I am stuck for now. I can't send her back to Ukraine and there's no guarantee she can stay in the U.S. If she does, she'd have to apply for asylum or TPS and wok permit all over again and I'd have to support her until then. That means we have a lot more waiting to do. We are now in month 8 since applying for AOS and I'm very angry that it's taking so long. No interview scheduled, no nothing. Just sit an wait and struggle financially for months and months. I naively thought this would be a 4-5 month process, which I was prepared for, but not this long. We discussed it last week and decided to keep trying, but I just feel like we're way too different for it to work long term. For now, just trying to change how I communicate with her to keep the peace. I feel used, I have to admit.

I'm contemplating divorce but can't afford to support 2 separate households. Can my wife get a Temporary Protected Status and work if we have already applied for AOS and are still waiting 8 months later? I wanted to wait until she could work, but on the other hand an annulment may be in order. Surely she wouldn't be forced to go back to Ukraine, so it should work in both of our favor. I can't believe the mess I'm in.