Summer41

Thread from 2017 is now closed.  If you have a new issue, start a new thread.

This is posted in the AOS from K-1 visa forum, so I'm assuming you came on a K-1 visa...
 
If you want to return home, you are free to do so at any time. You can handle a divorce from abroad, if necessary.
As long as you have not overstayed by 180 or more days, there is no ban upon departure. Time while you were in status (first 90 days from entry) or your AOS was pending do NOT count towards that number.

There seems to be two questions here: what happens if OP doesn’t go to the interview (in title), and can OP go back to their home country (in post).
 
(1) I assume that if you don’t go to your interview, the USCIS will deny your case. You will probably have to leave the country if your visa has already expired. That being said, I don’t think they’ll place a ban on you unless they found proof of some kind of foul play.
 
(2) You should be able to go to your home country and return to the US on the AP, as long as your AOS case is pending.

As long as the AOS was filed before you visa was expired, you do not have overstay.
365+days = 10 years. 
180-365 = 3 years.
 
You can get divorced.  You will have to leave if you dont finish your AOS. Preferably not deported.  

As long as you filed before your J-1 status expired, you have 0 days of unlawful presence accumulated. So when you leave the US, there is no ban.
That said, I'm unsure why that conflicts with the lawyer's advice...likely either they had different information than what was presented here or there is a misunderstanding. But there are no days of unlawful presence accumulated while there is a pending I-485, and the first ban starts at 180 days of unlawful presence accumulated.
 
1) Yes, they will deny the case if either one don't go to the interview (only very limited exceptions are available for the petitioner not to attend, like being deployed abroad).
While it does not sound like there is a ban in the OP's case due to the timing of the I-485 being filed, there absolutely can be a ban w/o any foul play. An overstay ban is statutory, not discretionary. Say somebody comes on a B-2 (tourist) visa and stayed 2 years then married a USC and filed for AOS. There would still be a 10 year ban upon exit (if they do not complete AOS), even if the marriage was legit.
 
2) Yes, they can return as long as AP remains valid. AP is revoked when the pending I-485 is denied.
Side note: No ban applies in that case even if they did have enough days of overstay, per Matter of Arrabally, due to it not being considered a "departure" while in possession of a valid AP document.