JJWashington

You, Sharon and her family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Thanks for all the replies so far. After I posted the topic, I was actually afraid nobody was replying because it might be too personal.

So if someone is uncomfortable with this, I totally understand and I surely don't expect anybody to write about very personal stuff.

The first and most obvious problems we had to master were some language issues. My english, I think, is pretty good and we don't have problems communicating about everyday stuff and I guess my husband sometimes tends to forget that english is just not my first language and that some terms or words are still new to me. So sometimes he says something and I have to ask what he means,which I don't like for some reason. Usually it is no big deal at all, but sometimes it makes me upset. Even more upset if I want to say something (specially in a heated debate about certain topics) and I have to search for the right words or I mess something up and my husband starts smiling at me when I am dead serious about what I try to say.

Homesickness was another thing...I wasn't homesick at first at all. Things were going so great and I enjoyed being with him here and I was happy and surprised how fast and easily I adjusted to living here until one morning while preparing breakfast I out of nowhere broke down crying, crying, crying.

Poor husband, he was terribly shocked and thought I would pack and leave on the spot. Of course I didn't and things got better, but oh my!

After that I had to take it slow for a while and realise that I can't expect to just change my whole life and livingsituation without going through some rough times.

Depending on him was tough. Very much on me, a 32 year old woman who lived by herself for the last 14 years, financially independend...now out of a sudden had to ask for money to go get some things from the store. My husband was pretty good in giving me cash until I was on his bankaccounts and had access to money, but sometimes he forgot and I was too I don't know what to ask him. And then..spending money I haven't earned felt terrible. Man was I glad when I finally was able to work again!!

It took a good while to accept that his money was our money and I am really glad that he made that clear from the day I arrived!!

Away from the financial aspect of depending on him...I just hated to not be able to go to places even I was driving by myself pretty soon after I arrived here (my german license was good until my I-94 expired) but it just wasn't my cup of tea to always have to ask where things are. I ended up using the internet for driving directions and learned my way around pretty much by just driving around, getting lost and hoping to find my way again.

Finding my space in the house...I think that was pretty annoying for me. My hubby is a sweetheart, but sometimes not the best in thinking for others...I had to clear out drawers and closets and shelfs to make some room for my few belongings I brought and had sent over.

Very nice though was that we had our wedding ceremony in Germany right before I left (hubby came to "pick me up") and all my family and friends only gave us money, no other gifts. From that we bought new couches, new matress set and some other stuff for the house to turn his "bachelors crib" into a home for both of us!

Now, almost a year later I feel like I slowly grow roots here. I don't drive around anymore scared of getting lost or look around like a tourist, I am getting my independence back by just doing every day stuff by myself, we have pretty well adjusted to living together, developed a "routine".

Last project was renovating the masterbathroom that only he had used so far (I used the 2nd bathroom because it felt more convenient or maybe we just felt like we didn't want to get into the other persons very private space?!) and my husband asked me how I wanted it and asked me to "move in"...so, I guess that was the last step to really growing together in the house.

I miss my family and friends back in Germany and I want to go home as soon as I have my AP, but I know, going back to the US after the visit would be "going home".

Oh, that was the longest post I ever made here, congratulations to all who made it all the way through...

Another great post! Thanks so much for sharing

For us the biggest issues revolved around getting used to sharing space with someone else who was always there when each of us had been on our own and independent before. We both had to make adjustments to accommodate the other in our living space and find those compromises that made it comfortable for both of us (ie. sleeping with windows open and a/c off, not drinking from the milk carton, sharing an activity that was important for one but not for the other, folding laundry the 'right' way, re-arranging dishes in the cupboards so that everything fit and then finding things, what level of clutter is ok, dealing with each other's friends and families, etc.). A lot of the things were 'little' things but they had to do with what was familiar to each of us, and changing ingrained habits. The first year was definitely the hardest.

Part of my husband's biggest adjustment involved my cats. Even though he had lived with cats before we discovered after we moved in together that we both had different ideas of what was involved in looking after them. Fortunately, the cats have evolved from being 'my cats' to being 'our cats' but that took adjustment from both of us - and from the cats as well.

Love isn't always enough:-). Both of us tried hard to accommodate the other and to learn 'not to sweat the small stuff'. It made it easier to identify the real issues when they did arise. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt, trying to be receptive to the other's needs and wants, being compassionate and understanding about each other's idiosyncracies, allowing the other to be 'human' and making it safe for them to make mistakes all went a long way to surviving that first year.

The honeymoon may be over but the marriage is going strong.

Thanks for sharing!

Congratulations!!!

Yes, defintely wait until after Labor Day

Congratulations and good luck to you both!

I answered on the other site, but I would think you could black that out on each email. Then make a copy of the page so that one cannot see thru the blackout.

I have seen others who applied for a visitor visa and were denied who then obtained a k1 visa. I believe Zeborah007

You can black out certian things on the emails, I would just black that out and then make a copy which will not allow anyone to see thru the blackout

Even though we argue and fight all the time, I love her more then anything in this world. I understand why she feels the way she feels. I try to put myself in her shoes and try my best to understand that she is going thru allot with her pregnancy alone.... However, it just sucks to argue/fight with the one you love the most in this world.

As a matter of fact I sent her some flowers earlier today after posting this. She should receive them when she wakes up...that should end this argument/fight and make her feel better. I hate not being able to talk to her properly. We are so used to talking every day and at night...that when we fight and don’t talk properly it just kills me. Hopefully we will talk now since I sent the flowers.... I love her soo much.

I hope all of us get approved soon. I really want to be with her NOW!!!

You are doing the best you can and sending the flowers and stuff is really sweet! She should feel much better after she gets out of the first trimester and that will help. I agree with you --- I hope we all get approved SOON>

...if I ever posted an intro here, so here we go:

nane1104...that's me, Nadine, 32 years old and married to Kenneth,34, aka JR for almost a year now. We met online2003, I visited him here in the US shortly after we started talking and for the next 2 and a half years, we have been visiting back and forth in Germany and the States.

In 2005, he asked me to marry him and we started to make plans for our future, which led me here.

Our K-1 process was not too long and painless and end of August 2006 JR came to Germany for our wedding ceremony in Germany and took me back to the US.

Right now I am still waiting for my greencard, but I can work and hopefully soon travel too and basically I am a happy little woman (not literally little though).

After almost a year in the US I slowly start to grow roots here, but for the longest time I felt a little like a tree that someone cut and now tried to plant in a different spot, a long and painful process for me sometimes to be so far away from every-and anything I have been used to.

But I am happy I made the decision to be with my husband! He is an officer in the AirForce, an EWO instructor for B-52 and sometimes I do not like his job.

Though, I would not want to trade him for anything!!!

We don't have kids yet, but we are hoping to have our own little family soon too!

That's us, Nadine and JR!

Welcome to VJ

I have never posted here either, figured I would

I am Melinda engaged to Tarek. We are anxiously awaiting a reunion and realize we have a ways to go. I met him online in 2005 we began a friendship which grew, I went to visit in April and had an amazing time. We are very very happy...in addition, I am 32 mother of two...I work as a social worker with abused/negleted children. I enjoy the support I have gotten here at VJ..this process can be cumbersome and certainly has been intimidating to me at times...there are so many supportive ppl here that have made the process much easier.....hope everyone is having a great night....there i did my intro...

Welcome to VJ

I would add: IM Chats and phone records from the phone used to dial the calling card (especially if its a cell phone)

Thanks JJ for the response,

My fiance lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria which is hours away from Lagos, especially if by bus. We just wanted to save time by probably filing online.

Yeah, if he is going to be in Lagos anyway, I would send him. At this point, it might be better to wait on the packets. You could always call or email the embassy. They responded to my email in one day.

Congratulations!

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your pet.

I noticed the DS-230 we have says it expires on July 31, does anyone know if we send it to the embassy on August 1, will they not take it because it is technically expired? Do we have to wait for the new version if we can't send it until then?

Thanks.

If you are referring to the DS 230, where it states "Expires 07/31/2007", then you will be okay. You can check the DOS website which will always list the most updated forms. Even if DOS placed an updated form on the website on 08/01/2007, you could still use this form as the government does NOT move that quickly..... Below is the website....

http://www.state.gov/m/a/dir/forms/

Guys my interview in 2 weeks ... I think of this day almost everyday Too much of worries

Just 2 weeks and it will be over!!!! You will do well. Think positive!!!!!

Well I like the Visa and pre-paid phone, but I don't like the idea of sending a copy of my ID and credit card over the internet. Even if my fiance prints it at home, you never know who might get ahold of it on the www.

I also like the fact that in Nigeria, the kids can still run around and be children. In the US, you have to worry about your 15yr old son being snatched by some pervert let alone your young daughter.

At this point in time, I'm don't think I would move to Nigeria. But I might consider living in Ghana (although it would cause a MAJOR upset in my family if I moved out of the country).

So true, you can't even trust family members with your children here.

That is the absolute truth

Discerned, we did not try to schedule online. I recommend you scan your NOA2 and NVC Letter and email it to your fiance. Then send your fiance to the Lagos Consulate with the copies of the NOA2, NVC Letter, and his passport for ID. When he gets there, he goes to the Inquiry line and shows them the documents and they will give him Packets 3 and 4, which will have his interview date.

Congratulations!!!! Please post the details when you can!!!

I advise you to obtain the police report and get the Notarial translation made before you fill out the visa application. It will be a good reference for correctly and honestly filling out the applications. It is unlikely you will be able to conceal anything on the applications from your fiance.

I agree 100%. If I were you, I would first tell your fiance, because its better for them to find out through you, then from reading it on a form.

That being the most important advice so far. Keeping secrets isn't good for a relationship.

Totally Agree. You must be honest with your fiance.

Congratulations

Congratulations!

Yeah, I would agree that their estimated dates are listed with the oldest date they are currently processing. Its kindof backwards, but not suprising...

So as the title states I was told today that my case is now undergoing background checks....anyone know if this is close to the end of the thing or is this something they start with? Or is there no rhyme or reason at all??? The person I talked to was nice but at first tried to tell me that they werent even processing those dates yet...I was like yes you are...and they said oh well let me check...yes please duh!!!

Am I reading right that you applied in December 2006? If I am reading right than I feel horrible for you. I am sure that all will work out. Just find something fun and/or worthwhile to focus on and don't think about it constantly. I know that is easy for me to say, but I promise - It WILL help.