SanDiegoParakram

Thank you @laylalex .This approach to lawyering up sounds more reasonable. I do think I have a strong case.

It is possible to divorce and move on, even in difficult divorces. You don't even need the nastiest attorney to help -- what you need is a tough, persistent, competent one who represents your interests properly. My best friend is a family law attorney, and she can be a pit bull if her client wants her to be, but she tells me she prefers to strike a tone of steady, reasonable professionalism. It looks better to a judge, she says, when one side is playing by the rules while still sticking to their guns and fighting for their client's interests. It can get very personal, very fast, and a good attorney will help keep you focused on (1) getting out of the marriage and (2) helping you protect your interests. Fighting for fighting's sake just deepens the pain -- there should be a point to the battles. You're paying your attorney to take the brunt of the fighting for you -- let him or her be there to absorb the punches. Also don't forget -- more fighting over pointless things means more money to the lawyer. Try to keep your eyes on the prize and don't get bogged down in retribution or you'll end up with little to show except pain. 
 
I would just like to say that earlier I missed the part of your post where you said that you were going to be fighting a restraining order, and I apologize for missing that -- of course at that point you can't just divorce and move on until it's resolved. But from my own experience quite a while ago (but also in California for what it's worth -- it seems you are in CA too?) in trying to get a temporary restraining order made permanent, she needs more evidence than just "he scares me" -- which is what it sounds like your wife has only. You say all the texts and everything show she's not afraid of you, and there's not much to show that you need to be kept away from her. You should absolutely get an attorney to help you with fighting the TRO being made permanent -- I'm just a rando on the internet after all! -- but this is in your favor. Trust me, I had real reason to fear the person (not my ex-husband) I was trying to get a permanent restraining order against but in the end there wasn't enough to show much more than he was a guy who had been dumped and wanted to know why he'd been dumped. (Like many manipulators, he was very, very careful about what he put in writing.)
 
So all of this is to say you are in a stronger position than she is, I think, for many reasons -- the short marriage, the lack of proof that she's afraid of you, and you sticking to your guns. You can get through this! Hire an attorney you feel comfortable working with and stay strong.  

@Lucky Cat  As soon as we settle 1) divorce, and 2) joint-owned real estate, I can and will take your advice. Until then, I'm seeking information so i know what to expect in the next few months, and what complications may arise. Thanks. 

I kind of agree with both perspectives above. You do want to put your main focus on divorcing and moving on- You also MUST appear in court for the protection order hearing and present your side of things. If you do not appear an order will most likely be granted and you do not want that! A permanent order will stay with you and haunt you for the rest of your life. Its unfortunate that you decline to press charges for the previous incident (and Im assuming they did not move forward with out you?- but if they did move forward I would encourage you to participate- when someone commits a crime they should be tried and if guilty punished. I personally take the position that as a victim or witness to a case you have a duty to participate and tell the truth. Courts will rule on guilt or innocence- thats not up to you and its not your concern what the outcome is. All you need to do is tell the truth and any consequences the perpetrator may suffer as a result of a guilty verdict is not because YOU did this to them but because they did it to themselves.)
 
You may want to consider hiring an attny for the protection order hearing as there are pro bono services for victims applying for protection orders. So she may have an attny. Or you can go with out one and if she does have one you can ask for it to be delayed so you too can get an attny. Do not try to face her attny on your own. Unfortunately you probably will not be able to get pro bono services for defending against a protection order. You also want to obtain the statement she made to secure the temp order. If you have an attny they should know this and do such (or if you are going to attempt to represent yourself). Most people do not know they are entitled to this paperwork with her statement. The court clerk wont tell you or offer it to you. You have to understand some people do abuse the system but the system is designed for victims and you are the alleged abuser in this. 
 
Anyway when someone applies for a temp protection order they fill out some paperwork. It includes a written statement on why they need this order. It is given to a judge who reviews it and does a quick hearing with the applicant. Usually the judge will approve the temp order to ensure the safety of the victim and then a hearing is set where both sides are present and its determined if a permanent order will be enacted or not. You want to get her statement. (probably a few dollars in copy fees from the clerk) Her statement should detail a specific incident she is claiming occurred in order to get the temp order. You cant just go down and say I was abused give me a temp order. You must provide specific details so find out what her statement says happened and see how you may be able to disprove it. Those who dont obtain this statement are always thrown off at the hearing because the judge is going through things about this 'incident' and they have no idea what is being referred to. Usually the pretend victim will take a fight or issue that actually did occur and embellish it. 
 
As to her potential VAWA or immigration issues as stated already it is none of your concern. You do need to be concerned though that she may be attempting to do a VAWA case and may not understand what is needed for such. Specifically VAWA cases do NOT require police reports or restraining orders but many are under the assumption that they do. Its obviously much easier for one to obtain VAWA with a police report where there was a DV incident. She may be getting bad advice from 'friends' encouraging her to get police/court documents . So there is a high risk of her fabricating a DV assault so she has the paperwork she thinks she needs. Do NOT ever be alone with her. I can not stress this enough. I understand you are getting a divorce but as long as you are still legally married on paper if you are alone with her and she injures herself and calls the cops and claims you did it you will be charged with DV whereas after the divorce you are just two individuals so its not DV. 
 
Regarding the divorce- divorce courts do not care about immigration status. There is no aff of support so thats good, if there was it could be used against you. In most states if one of the spouses are claiming abuse the court can award them more. So if abuse is claimed by her in the divorce you will want to fight it. Partly because a finding of abuse by you in the divorce would help her obtain immigration benefits she is not entitled to, but mostly because it would be a false finding and it would most likely cause the settlement to be more in her favor. 
 
If you are still in the home with her you need to get out. I understand that can be hard and costly and a huge inconvenience but there are just too many reasons why you should not be in the home with her. She has been abusive to you before. You ended up in the ER last time- do not let there be a next time. 

I wanted to address the negative attitudes we have seen on the rise recently in the upper/ immigration forums towards those who ask beginner/ simple questions, or have unusually fast or slow VisaJourneys.

First, there is a tone difference between the Progress forums- which are mostly for support and cheerleading, and the Info forums, which are mostly to have questions answered.   While all our forums are supposed to be welcoming to all and friendly, this is especially important in the Progress forums, which are not to discuss politics, or be negative towards  those fortunate to have their case dealt with quickly, or  critical of those who voice sadness about their own slow progress. These forums are there to uplift eachother!

Secondly- in the info forums, you may get bad news.  When a question is asked, our members are encouraged to answer truthfully, even if this may not be what the Op wants to hear, because it is important to be informed.  However, the emphasis is still on being welcoming and friendly.  If you need to give bad news, do so gently, and stick to facts; constructive criticism of the Op's plans ARE allowed, but the emphasis is on constructive.  No need to dwell on mistakes (or tell members they should be on 90 Day Fiance- that is a personal attack and automatic suspension), or  illegal actions in the past- instead, encourage and explain legal options for the future.  And ONLY legal options- as per our TOS, VJ does not support, condone or encourage illegal (immigration) actions, and such posts will be removed.

Ultimately, we are here to help all members, old and new, easy cases and complicated, those who write a fact filled bullet point post and those who are panicking and don't make much sense in their first post. Yes, sometimes questions can be easily googled, or answered via a search of our forums.  But if you feel that way, just scroll past- no need to criticise the OP for asking the question.