Mithra

Couldn't edit and wanted to add - another thing that helps is to never think your relationship is bulletproof or that bad things can't happen. Always keep in mind that you and your SO are human and will make mistakes. Don't go around with the "not my man" attitude. That's a horrible attitude to have. Usually the "not my mans" ARE that guy. Be realistic. My marriage is not perfect, my husband is certainly NOT perfect and neither am I. We've been married 5 years but not one of those years has been without some drama or issues like most ppl. I still don't consider our marriage a total success because it will always need work. I still don't consider us bulletproof.

Did "iceyspots" give you permission to tell her story and name names on here? If not - totally uncool. That is not your story to tell. If you were going to tell it you should've done it anonymously. That's not right.

My MIL and I don't share a common language. It is kind of difficult to have either a positive or negative relationship in this way.

Agreed. Using culture shock as an excuse is asinine. There are other ways to vent frustration due to "culture shock" that doesn't include knocking around your spouse. I fear that the OP plans to overlook this and kowtow to his apparent bullying tactics to do ROC. Otherwise, she'd have removed him from her home by now. Sad.
Also, "hard work" importing a husband isn't good enough reason to accept being battered.

Agreed. Using culture shock as an excuse is asinine. There are other ways to vent frustration due to "culture shock" that doesn't include knocking around your spouse. I fear that the OP plans to overlook this and kowtow to his apparent bullying tactics to do ROC. Otherwise, she'd have removed him from her home by now. Sad.
Also, "hard work" importing a husband isn't good enough reason to accept being battered.

I'm very sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like this is the only type of life you know and that is extremely sad and tragic. Is your husband still in your home? If so, please for your childrens' sake have him removed. Don't wait for immigration to do it because that may take awhile (if ever). Like you said, you need to end it now and protect your children and yourself. If it takes a restraining order, so be it. Your youngest child is still young enough to not have any memories or negative effects of his behavior. Please don't let this type of behavior be the norm for your children so they end up repeating the cycle of abuse that you've experienced your whole life.

I'm very sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like this is the only type of life you know and that is extremely sad and tragic. Is your husband still in your home? If so, please for your childrens' sake have him removed. Don't wait for immigration to do it because that may take awhile (if ever). Like you said, you need to end it now and protect your children and yourself. If it takes a restraining order, so be it. Your youngest child is still young enough to not have any memories or negative effects of his behavior. Please don't let this type of behavior be the norm for your children so they end up repeating the cycle of abuse that you've experienced your whole life.

Agreed. Using culture shock as an excuse is asinine. There are other ways to vent frustration due to "culture shock" that doesn't include knocking around your spouse. I fear that the OP plans to overlook this and kowtow to his apparent bullying tactics to do ROC. Otherwise, she'd have removed him from her home by now. Sad.
Also, "hard work" importing a husband isn't good enough reason to accept being battered.

Agreed. Using culture shock as an excuse is asinine. There are other ways to vent frustration due to "culture shock" that doesn't include knocking around your spouse. I fear that the OP plans to overlook this and kowtow to his apparent bullying tactics to do ROC. Otherwise, she'd have removed him from her home by now. Sad.
Also, "hard work" importing a husband isn't good enough reason to accept being battered.

where is olivia when she is needed? she knows all kinds of secret stuff.

So I was listening to Muse and this one came on and I thought it was appropriate...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtZV5XdfqrI

Mubarak is kinda like this huge wart, he just won't go away.

This comment gets a gold star...
"Hi there i think the reason she refused his visa to US...she want him for herself..."

The OP is not old but she's too old for a 22 year old. I think it's a bit too much like blowing sunshine up one's behind to say otherwise. Please. Also, the way things are going with Cairo right now, she most certainly has a chance of a denial with that age difference particularly considering his current age. Especially concerning a K1 visa. The safest way to go is a CR1.
ETA - tru_loves_journey - you haven't even reached the interview stage of your journey. How are you so certain about denials or lack thereof? I think your advice is irresponsible.

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

It's hard to tell about AP. It could take days, weeks or months. Is the case still in DC? Some people will say get a senator involved but others will say it's useless. Our case was in AP for about 4 months total. I didn't do anything aside from call DOS about once weekly and e-mailed Cairo a handful of times. That didn't help or hurt matters, it just kept me informed.

So you're talking about "those Muslims"
It's one thing to give an opinion about the issue, and another thing to judge that person.

I don't think Mike Tyson can even pronounce Morocco.

Tru loves journey - you can't really think that an observation about the vast differences in developmental stages between a 19 year old and a 35 year old is the equivalent of objecting to people of different races marrying!
Regardless of whether they were "friends" in the beginning or not, who the heck wants a teenaged friend in their 30's? Observing that this seems whacky in no way is equivalent to anything you said it is!

The OP is not old but she's too old for a 22 year old. I think it's a bit too much like blowing sunshine up one's behind to say otherwise. Please. Also, the way things are going with Cairo right now, she most certainly has a chance of a denial with that age difference particularly considering his current age. Especially concerning a K1 visa. The safest way to go is a CR1.
ETA - tru_loves_journey - you haven't even reached the interview stage of your journey. How are you so certain about denials or lack thereof? I think your advice is irresponsible.

Totally OT but any other oldtimers find this topic nostalgic? I originally joined VJ back when MENA was the active forum and I'd guess that the majority of women there were older women marrying much younger men. See also: she who should not be named.
Five years ago? The OP would have received responses such as:
"It's a red flag that can be overcome! Just ask me!" /AP for years on end
"We overcame this red flag and our marriage is doing great! He's been here for 1 day - couple of weeks and I can't believe anyone ever doubted us!"
Plus the proto-Muslima who always insists that since the Prophet Mohammad took a much older bride, it's all good.

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

We'll see. They might not. But if they screw up and do that, well...bombs away.