M3gaaan

4 minutes ago, OldUser said:

If by stability you mean 10 year card, it's a big no, and it may bite you in the future.

 

If I was you I'd divorce him, get 10 year GC, get naturalized, work on my career etc and if by the age of 25-26 you're still together and your relationship matures -  just remarry. That way you have less problems with USCIS and your husband doesn't have any control over your life, at least when it comes to immigration. That would equalize any imbalance of power in relationship too.

 

Of course, you're the only one who knows what's best for you.

With that I mainly meant stable work and more of a footing in the US because I only got my green card in July so I just started to work really in October (lost that job for others reasons)  so if worst were to happen I didn’t have to fly back I had more options. If that makes sense; I know he doesn’t need to do anything to do with ROC i really want to make that apparent. Basically work it out for a decent amount of time then both make a mutual decision together. Divorce is off the table for us now. 

I think I’ve got really all the answers I need and I’ll definitely talk to him about all the options we have. I know I don’t need to rely on him for anything in terms of ROC I just needed to know if I was ok to fly back really in the first place. It’s a very complicated situation but then again so is marriage. I’m really thankful for everyone’s support. ❤️ if it’s ok can the thread be closed I just don’t want any misunderstandings because I know basically all the answers I need to know. 

30 minutes ago, OldUser said:

Do you realize the plan of staying together so you can get immigration benefit can be perceived as fraud by USCIS?

 

Also, what are you gonna do if you're called for an interivew, and he changes his mind the evening before or day of the interview, he's not going to go there with you? What if he controls your finances, makes you meet any demands he may have. And if you're not doing what he wants, he threatens to not help you with I-751 or citizenship.

 

Are you ready living with him for another 3-4 years potentially before and while your I-751 is pending?

I didn’t realise that could be perceived as fraud because that’s completely not my intention at all I think you misunderstood me it’s basically we will try to work things out as much as we can and work out all options and he wouldn’t go through with a divorce unless I had stability basically. It’s preferable that if he were to do anything it’d be after that if that makes sense sorry if it got confused. 😊 not saying we plan to stay together just for that that’d be ridiculous. Especially since we know I can still live in the US on my own. 

18 minutes ago, carmel34 said:

Do what you decide to do, it's your life after all.  Sounds like you still have doubts about the marriage.  This is really more of a marriage and relationship issue than immigration.  If you really love him, go back and try to salvage the marriage.  If it doesn't work out, you can file for divorce, move into your own place anywhere in the US, get a job, and submit the paperwork for a 10-year green card with a divorce waiver.  Or, you could decide to go back to the UK.  I would not stay in a bad marriage thinking that it would be easier to apply for the 10-year green card, because it isn't true.  Start to compile lots of evidence that you entered into the marriage in good faith--shared finances, property, utilities in both names, joint IRS tax return statements, etc.  You have options, do what is best for you.  Good luck!

Oh definitely obviously I’m sure that things will work out; he wants to atleast make it so if it were to happen down the line I wasn’t losing my entire life. But that’s a worst case scenario. Heres hoping it will all work out but I’m sure we can salvage things. 😊 thank you so much everyone again 

On 12/13/2022 at 9:04 PM, yoda one for me said:

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry you're being put through this. This one sentence really stood out to me. My dad treated my mum this way - kept her on the hook as a 'backup' for years. She was always wondering if/when he would decided he was 'better' or 'over it' and wanted to start the marriage back up. It never lasted when he did and she ended up in a bad state for a number of years.

 

You're worth more than being someone's backup. If he's not willing to work on the marriage together, with you, while you're married - through marriage counselling and through individual therapy (for both of you) - then you should consider his decision final and focus on yourself. Build yourself back up. If you feel more comfortable in the UK because of your support network, return to the UK and stay there and pick your life up as best you can. You'll be able to move on if you let yourself. His weakness is not your fault. You didn't fail at this marriage - he gave up on it. You have to look after yourself foremost now. Close the chapter. Sign the divorce papers. Get your confidence back up and you'll meet someone else who wants to make a relationship with you work.

 

Good luck x

Thank you so much everyone for the support ❤️ it really got me through those days; I know things seem like a rollercoaster but things seem to be looking back up and he promised me that by January I’ll be flying back and we will work things out and ONLY if we go through every option and I have my ten year green card/ life over here that’s when we will divorce. I honestly would prefer to live in the US on my own to be fair because I came to love the country and it feels more like home to me now that I’m back in the UK. I assume everything is fine for me to fly back on my green card; i flew out using my UK passport; but I assume it’s very similar when using your green card. 😊 I can’t wait to be back to the home I made for myself and heres to a future hopefully where we work things out. 😊 

19 minutes ago, Timona said:

Do you have a GC? If so, is it 2 or 10 years? 

2 year green card; I’d need to file for ROC in 2024 

59 minutes ago, OldUser said:

Hi @M3gaaan sorry to hear your marriage is falling apart. It's never easy and you may need time to heal.

 

On a plus side, it's better to go separate ways at the beginning of the marriage rather than 5-10-20-25 years into it. You're still young and have the entire life ahead of you!

 

By the sound of it, you may be better off filing for divorce sometime soon. Also, it looks like nothing stops you from re-establishing your life in USA if you see yourself having better opportunities in life there.

 

Good luck!

 

He’s looking at filing for it soon; honestly I am probably going to start my life back up in the UK just because there’s a bigger support system here and the only reason I moved to the US was for him. But at the same time I don’t know; I’m not sure. I know that once you show more ties to your home country the green card is basically abandoned especially after 6 months but he did say that if he were to heal he’d try to reconnect with me. I told him I would want him to move here but I do still love the US. I know there’s direct consulate filing if we were to remarry. But it’s all just uncertain. God only knows what’s gonna happen. 😊

So I made a post I think about a week ago saying how me and my husband reconciled; long story short he changed his mind again while I’m still here in the UK trying to recover from before and I have to now again figure out my entire life again. I am just looking for some sort of support because I feel like I’m the only one who’s ever gone through this. I’m only 21 and I moved my whole life for him and was starting to kind of build a life for myself while there. I’m grieving so much and he said that maybe in the future he’d come back to me after he got serious help. But I don’t even know what the future holds. I was going to settle down with him and have a family. That’s all I wanted in life really. Of course I wanted my own life but I didn’t think of the possibility of this happening let alone this quick after marriage. 

4 hours ago, little immigrant said:

Hi there, just adding my experience. I went to Germany and came back to the US while I was living separated from my US husband. He lived in a different State. We were still figuring out our marriage at this point. I answered all CBP questions honestly. They wanted to know where I live and where he lived. I was let back in without a problem. 

Thank you all so much for your advice; regarding this I assume that id only need to talk about it if we were separated and living apart? He moved to a different address but we were planning to move to his dads anyways so I’m sure it doesn’t make any difference probably just clarifying I’m sure it’s just the same thing of just visiting family. 😊 only other thing was when I did initially leave I did pack my main stuff as initially it was assumed it was permanent but; obviously we didn’t know for exact at the time. But again I’m sure that makes no difference 😊😂 

Yeah I figured I was overthinking I just wanted to make sure I was 100% right on this. Thank you so much for the help! Sometimes I need some rationality 😂

Thank you so much this forum is always so supportive! ❤️ only thing is I don’t have my rings on me left them with the hubby when things were bad. You don’t think they’ll care to know about that? That’s not me omitting information correct? I’m sure I can just say spending time with family 😅

Been on this forum since about 2019; long story short moved to the US last year on a K1 visa to marry love of my life. Year went by things were great got my GC in July; things went rocky. I flew back to the UK to be with family as we were about to divorce, (he never filed any divorce papers or moved any of my stuff back) didn’t know if it was temporary or permanent. We got talking again husband wants me back and I want to go back, but I am going to spend the holidays with family until I go back. Sort of a freshen up before the new year so we can be a lot stronger in our marriage. I know it’s not technically considered abandonment of my status because I still have all my US ties and it’s only been a month. I just don’t really know what to say to CBP when flying back; I’m also on the autism spectrum so I can get misunderstood easily. I know I am going to tell the truth fully because I’m sure they get cases like this I just don’t want to have the wrong impression because when I flew I didn’t know if it’d be temporary or permanent because we just needed some space and it was the best option at the time for us to both be with family. 
I may just overthinking things but I just want to make sure because I can’t wait to be back with him and start a new.