Justinehobarten

Call your local bar association and ask for a list of Pro-Bono lawyers.
 
DON'T trust him.  Divorce and move on.

If you cannot afford an attorney the court has pro bono lawyers they can refer you to.

I'm pretty positive that their spouse did not necessarily show all their cards upfront, prior to marriage. People like that typically change once those lines have been crossed - not in the very beginning. And those very reasons you cite are among the many reasons she is staying away and seeking divorce now, I imagine.

Your days of being manipulated are now over.  Look yourself in the mirror and repeat this aloud, with more conviction each time, until you believe it.
 
Tell the consulate about his illegal work, too.