Voided

9 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Good. You were saved in that. Him quitting his job, complaining he has no money, he wants money from you and it's his job to play and getting paid by YOU

My mom said the same. Because he had this idea he would come here and be rich. He complained about working a job making $15 an hour. Said that wasn't good money. I said for an immigrant with limited English skills that's a lot.  

1 minute ago, MeAlone said:

Did he adopt your daughter? This is serious. And all people here saying forgive, he is sick, forget about it???

No he wanted to but my family was against it so I told him we would discuss that later on down the line. Thank goodness I didn't go through with it. 

3 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Gosh, it is NOT about his GC. It is about her LIFE, she can be accused of domestic violence or more, he is a manipulative bipolar, she doesn't know about his plans but she needs better to get an Annulment, to have all documents well about her not doing anything wrong and then forget about all this.

 

Are you sure he doesn't play a bipolar and looking for disability? If he knows how to play the system, he can hang on her financial support for life

I never thought about that. I do know early on in the relationship he disclosed  he was bipolar but controlled with meds. I never seen any odd behavior as he was on his meds so I didn't think it would be a huge deal down the line. I did think the possibility of the transition causing him issues. That's why with the help of his mother, doc there and doc here I made sure he had the meds he needed before he arrived. As I said before when going through the immigration process his doctor wrote a letter stating the types of depression he had and bipolar wasn't listed. So my plan was to have him reevaluated here. So who knows what kind of mental illness he really has. 

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

He should notify the change of address so any mail goes direct to him.

He's not that smart 

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

He is in the US as a LPR, he needs to get his Card.

 

You can see how many on this thread went the CAWA train so quite possible he has things screwed up.

The plan was for him to work and pay for the green card with his 1st paycheck.  Well then he ran away, quit that job and now claims he has no money and is doing day labor for food etc. He knows the green card will come to my address so I think that's the point of all this. Him trying to find a way to get it by bypassing me. 

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Evidence for what? He has his GC.

He doesn't have the GC yet. He hasn't paid for it. 

I think one of his slime ball friends is giving him the incorrect advice, instructing him how to set up/file VAWA even though he doesn't need to.  

2 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

he is gathering the evidence against you and manipulating it and you will be very nice not getting any evidence for to protect yourself. I hope he doesn't make more legal troubles for you

He claimed my daughter as his own. I told him think of the impact you will have on her life if you falsely accuse me of abusing you. I said I can possibly go to jail and she could possibly be taken away. He said he would never do anything to hurt her.  However, knowing now I can't trust anything he says, I can't trust him. 

19 minutes ago, Prystine said:

I agree with LionessDeon.

 

Op, we all understand that you are hurt and angry and frustrated with your situation; however, the only person you have any control over is yourself. You can't control what your husband will or will not do nor can you get him to leave the country because of how you're feeling. What you can do and what you need to do is protect yourself and your child.

 

Cut off all communication with him, never physically be alone with him, divorce, move on and focus on yourself and your child's mental, emotional and physical well being. People that manipulate and play games won't stop no matter what and they know how to twist any communication around for their own benefit. 

I understand. I am not trying to control him. Personally, I just want to forget about him and move on as quickly as possible. 

21 minutes ago, dawning said:

If he is as wily as she says, he might be trying to get evidence for his case. Better to stay away, at least that's what I would do.

He is definitely trying to get evidence. He now refuses to talk on the phone or video, says he is being tracked and we can only chat because he is saving everything and is going to show immigration and the police. 

20 minutes ago, LionessDeon said:

Exactly what I am saying all that back and forth is unnecessary drama you don't need.  I didn't say you were baiting him.  I was responding to the other advice given for you to send him messages to get evidence.  I'm glad to hear you have cut off all contact and can move on with your life.  I'm sure it will be a weight lifted.  Good Luck to you.  I'm sorry things didn't work out better.

Thank you.  I am trying to pick up the pieces and move on.  Sure we had our issues before he came but, I never imagined things would play out like this.   

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Feelings are irrelevant, and anyway he is here now so nothing you can do.

Well he needs to go. He even asked me to buy him a ticket home which I agreed but when it came down to it of course he backed out. 

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

 

None of which has been shown in this thread.

 

Seems you married in January and your spouse disappeared soon after. OP has been married for 18 months.

I still feel there is fraud involved. I have many conversations where he is asking about his green card, the status of the green card, or stating he needs to see what to do about it etc. If he was only concerned about going to his country and being done with me as he says why is he so worried about his green card and asking me to write a letter stating it wasn't fraud? 

8 minutes ago, LionessDeon said:

Great minds think alike!

What works for one may not work for another.  

Return all mail to post office, change your locks, file for divorce/annulment, cut off all contact that is how you protect yourself without games and drama.  Save texts messages if you have them but purposely baiting him is not right in my opinion.  If you don't see him, contact him, or threaten him what evidence would he have IF he did go to the police??  Doesn't that make the baiting and entrapment unnecessary??  

 

 

I am not trying to bait him. This is emotionally and physically draining.  That's why I just had to cut contact. One moment he loves me and wants to reconcile, the next there is nothing left and he can't trust me etc. Then it's oh I miss you I want to see you can we meet tomorrow. Tomorrow comes then it's oh I am not comfortable this will never work etc. I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS!!! 

2 minutes ago, dawning said:

 

While I am not an expert I tend to agree with Ebunoluwa on this.  If I were the judge hearing evidence that has so far been presented, I would not be at all convinced of fraud on the husband's part, although it does sound like he has some mental health problems.  (Mental health problems could co-exist with fraud I don't deny, but so far everything that the OP is calling fraud sounds like it is just him trying to survive in his world, just as the OP is trying to protect herself in this difficult situation.)

 

Bringing a spouse from another country away a support network and then threatening him or her with violence if s/he comes near what was supposed to be his/her home would seem in my mind to qualify as domestic violence.  Anyone can say "it was just talk" after the fact, but threats have an effect on people. 

 

It seems like cutting contact and divorcing would be the safest and healthiest for both parties.

 

Good luck!

It was stupid on my part but I was angry.  Also, he left his home before I said anything of the sort. Told me it wasn't his home and he wanted to go back to his country.  Even tried leaving the weekend before and I convinced him to stay. I did everything in my power but he left.  My family even went out of their way to try to make him feel comfortable. 

Even his mother said I know you didn't mean it and he knows it too, he is just embarrassed the way he left and doesn't know how to fix it. 

He was rude and talking bad to me and his mother before he left. She messaged me one day asking if I was ok because she knew if he was talking bad to her he was also talking in that manner to me. I said yes he is but I am trying to be understanding and be as supportive as I can. But nothing helped. So he used an argument as an excuse to pack his bags and go. 

42 minutes ago, Ebunoluwa said:

It all looked like fraud from the posts until you mentioned his depression and bipolar disorder.
Divorce, but why go further in turning him in for fraud if you have no evidence ? 
A mood disorder can certainly cause this odd behavior and his fears of you may be very real to him even though they may not be valid.
You threatened to have him beat up so yeah that is an indication he is afraid and has illusions of being tracked.
He needs medical help.
Divorce, move on and leave him alone rather than all this trying to entrap him for any evidence.

As far as his illness is concerned I took that into consideration. However, he was taking his meds daily when he was with me as I made sure. A few times when we talked after he left he even showed me on video chat that he was taking them. 

I think he is playing this for all it's worth. I say that because he says how afraid he is but he shows up at my job and didn't want to leave. I had to tell him he had to leave because I couldn't talk to him here as I didn't want my coworkers in my business. He wasn't afraid then. I know it was in a public place but still if you're afraid of someone you don't go find them. And he had never been to my job before. I work far from where he is staying in the shelter. He claims he was in the area for work. 

Also he claims he is suffering and his life is so miserable but he posts shirtless selfies etc. or different selfies of himself here and there. Since all this happened I haven't been thinking about posting anything, not to mention lack of sleep etc I look a mess. 

In addition, he has managed to navigate the public transit system and find his way quickly around the general area where we live. Friends are astounded at how quickly he has found his way. Also, how did he find shelter so quickly? He claims to know no one here but I know people living for years homeless or on the verge of it and he comes here and finds shelter and another job, how to get around the area so quickly. Someone has to be helping him. 

His illness may have some play in this but I feel he is very aware of what he is doing. 

Before he left I had made him an appointment to be reevaluated since we were not clear on his diagnosis. Also the doctor here said she didn't feel he was on the right meds but couldn't change anything until she saw him. When I mentioned him getting treatment after he left then he really turned on me. 

1 minute ago, MeAlone said:

Fraud and Unsound Mind, gather the evidence and state both in your application, it's very possible to get the Annulment. I my case I had only Fraud

I didn't see that clause about unsound mind when I read over CA annulment process. He is making me have an unsound mind. I am trying to keep it together because I did everything for this man and know I don't deserve this treatment. 

1 minute ago, N-o-l-a said:

Don't forget that if any mail comes to your house for him, that you should just return it to sender, including his greencard.  You don't want to be accused of withholding it from him.

I tell him when something comes and he is like oh just keep it I will get it from you. Also same for my keys, I was like you have my keys I am changing the locks and he says oh you don't need to I will make sure you get them or I will come back etc. He is always flip flopping. But yes I will start returning any mail to sender. I told him you need to use another address, he said I don't have one my home is there but I can't return because of so many problems etc. 

5 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Try to get in screenshots, you never hurt him or did anything wrong, he is bipolar and accusing you falsely, it's you who is afraid of him, then maybe based on screenshots also get the protective order from him

One night when he was acting strangely I did tell him don't come anywhere near my home because he still has my keys. I was afraid as I have a small daughter.  To try to scare him I said if he tried to come in there my brother and son would beat him up. But it was just talk because I myself was afraid. So now he tries to use that also. But he up and left before that happened. But of course that didn't help and my son is mad at me for saying that and it was stupid I shouldn't have.  However at that moment I was hurt and  afraid as his mom was saying it sounded like he was in a mental crisis and that I needed to call someone and get him help etc.  

8 minutes ago, C-ma'am said:

He came here on a CR1 one, correct?  GC was already granted even he doesn't have it in his hand. So VAWA does not apply.

 

 

Yes CR1. No he doesn't have it in hand. I just received a notice in the mail about it 2 days ago. I didn't tell him though. 

When he was lying saying he wanted to reconcile he asked me to either go with him to immigration or write a letter stating there was no fraud just a misunderstanding. I said I would write the letter only after he returned. He said well in that case you don't trust me so I can never return. I said I see what you're doing you just want me to write the letter to ensure your status isn't in jeopardy. It's all about the green card. 

4 minutes ago, Damara said:

 

You know I just looked at your timeline and previous thread. Just for clarification- he entered on a CR visa. So as stated in your other thread he became an LPR upon entry. He just needs to pay the fee and get his conditional GC. Theres nothing you can do about that. He doesnt need "VAWA" he needs to remove conditions on his card. If you guys dont reconcile in the next 2 years he can file it with the divorce decree or under extreme cruelty (a form of VAWA). Just wanted to be clear he doesnt need VAWA (360) but rather the 751 with cruelty waiver.

 

He may not know this. So he may be under the impression he needs to apply for a GC, he may know he just needs to remove conditions. Who knows...But the advice still stands about not being alone with him. The same concept of being accused of domestic violence falsely still applies whether he needs it for the VAWA 360 or the 751 waiver.

 

Theres only one thing you can do that will impact his ability to stay in the US. Or rather 2... One is filing and getting an annulment based on FRAUD. It must be based on fraud. That will prevent him from being able to ROC however he can probably remain in the US on his conditional GC for the full 2 years. Its just when it comes time to ROC and he shows them the annulment based in fraud that he will be denied and have to leave. If you do get an annulement based in fraud you can send it to USCIS but I dont know if they will take action on it and order him removed or wait until he applies for ROC.

 

The second thing you can do is file for divorce. It is preferable if you can divorce based on grounds that will work against him like fraud or abandonment. You also need to make sure you hold firm to the dates as they happened. The shorter the period of marriage before separation the harder it is to ROC. You were only together a short time. Apx 2 weeks. Hold firm to having those dates be in the divorce decree. It would be worth it for you to fight it out and insist on a finding of fault (his) in the divorce however if you dont have the strength for that then a mutual 'irreconcilable differences' wont have the same immigration impact but would still be an uphill battle for him. 

 

Annulments are possible even as a DIY however they are hard to obtain. Speak with a local attny to see what options you have and their opinion on its success. Again the thing I would be most worried about is his lack of knowledge about the process and being misinformed or informed of fraudulent paths he may attempt a DV charge against you to help his case. Stop all contact with him for your own sake. Seek legal aid if you can not afford an attny. Get free consults and file on your own if you cant find any pro bono assistance. The county clerk can provide you with all the forms you need and answer questions about the process. Sorry this has happened to you but be strong and take care of yourself. 

 

As for the medical bills, yes you are technically responsible via the 864 but just so you know its rarely enforced. The gov has found it costs more to collect from sponsors then they actually collect so no one attempts to collect on it. There is also the risk he can sue you for support under the 864. Theres a thread in this subforum on that that you can read through. He would have to be very educated to do such and Im not sure he is. An annulement based on fraud is your best bet to ensure he has to leave the country but a quick filing of divorce with it being his fault can also ensure he can not remain. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

 

Happy Holidays. 

Thank you so much for this information. He thinks he is outsmarting me but he doesn't know the ropes. Will he find them? Maybe as he has people helping him and he keeps referencing calling immigration or speaking with lawyers to find out what his rights are. 

2 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

just think well and write, get chats and see what can help you.

It's your life for years to come, try to clean this mess up and help the Immigration to fight this kind of Fraud

It's really unfair how the laws are for the immigrant. All they have to do is lie and claim abuse and get to keep their status. However, the US citizen really doesn't have any recourse. Thank you so much for your assistance. I am going to start putting all this together. Last night I was feeling helpless and that I just had to let him stay here and get away with this. But your advice has inspired me. Thank you. 

5 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

You need to work on getting your case now, it hurts lots but think you need to protect yourself.

Be strong and be smart, very smart, they are playing with your life and your future, ask his mother to send you his bipolar medical, if she does, it will help you to get the Annulment as it is fraud not telling the wife about his health problems

I knew of his health problem. But then was told it wasn't bipolar after he saw his doctor there to get a letter for immigration. 

4 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

Good, chat with his mother about him bipolar, you didn't know it, it's a Fraud he didn't inform you about his bipolar health issue. Save and print the chats, attach them to your Infopass letter and the Annulment, keep asking questions about his bipolar moods asking his mother and him saying he needs help

He informed me and I spent a great deal of time researching how to get our case approved with that diagnosis. I had the doctor I have for him here write a letter.  And he also asked his doctor there. However, when he went to pull his records, the only thing written was that he had depressive mood disorder, not bipolar.  So I told him just use that letter not the one from the doctor here since she had not treated him. He said during the medical exam they didn't ask to see anything. However, the meds he takes are for people with bipolar. I even had the doctor here refill them for him. Do you think he can get it for fraud or misrepresentation on these grounds? 

3 minutes ago, MeAlone said:

It's good, it's soon, usually they give much later. Try to chat and get more evidence, in the letter write how long were you married and how long real time in marriage as well how long he had in US just snapping and get away. All in separated lines easy to read and see how short is really this marriage and how fake is it from his side

Is this the letter for USCIS or for the divorce or both? Sorry, so much on my mind not thinking clearly. 

I will probably reopen WhatsApp but right now I need a break. It's too much!

1 minute ago, MeAlone said:

say to his mother and him, you wish him back but you are afraid of his snapping moods and all his weird behavior, document all chatting, you may have a good evidence for the Annulment

I told her and him that. She was like well you know he is bipolar etc. Keeps telling me to give him time that the wounds are new and his feelings will change, that God has the last say in the marriage. He was asking to reconcile, now he only says he doesn't trust me, he's afraid, I mistreated him, he never thought I would get him here and abuse him like this etc. Says he is suffering and afraid he will die. When I say well why don't you come home, he then says I can't there's too many problems, your family hates me etc. Then now it's all the relationship is over, there's no hope, too much pain to fix it I am sorry etc.