ijay

No it's not fair at all. The thing that really rubs me the wrong way is that the husband is willing to let his wife (who he supposedly loves) live without health insurance. If that's not a sign of how he really feels and what his priorities are, I don't know what else would be.

All these people commenting about OP paying her "fair share" need to remember what it's like for new immigrants in this country. And yes, I consider 9 months pretty new.
There are countless posts on here about qualified workers who take months, sometimes over a year of job hunting here just to end up getting a job bagging groceries for minimum wage. Is it really "fair" to expect people in this position, many whom are still adjusting to a whole new way of life to be in a place where they can afford to pay the same amount of bills as someone who has been here much longer and is well-established?
We don't know how much Op's husband makes. If she is only making $90 a week and he is feasibly making at least $20,000+ a year (assuming he didn't use a co-sponsor for the I-864) is it really "fair" to expect Op to pony up half the rent, pay for her own health insurance/medicine, etc?
While I don't know if I would call his actions "abuse", I can very well see why Op would not be happy in this marriage and I can understand her desire to leave.
**Edit** I just noticed OP's note that $90 was her old job. I'm not sure how mush she is making now, but I would assume her husband still makes quite a bit more.

Any USC that expects their spouse or spouse to be to uproot their entire life in their home country, come to the US and get a job that is capable of paying half of the household bills within a year, is being completely unreasonable.

I think what I am getting from you is that you are worried about a lack of warmth and concern from your husband, and that the discussions about money are just a symptom of that? And it sounds like things have changed significantly since an earlier time in you relationship? It sounds like you don't mind helping financially, but expect more emotional support and help with day to day challenges for you.
The one thing that I'm not sure about is, what are you afraid of? Of your husband? Of divorce? Of problems with your immigration status, or with anti-immigrant attitudes? My advice would be that you try to work that out first, before you talk to your husband (or don't talk to him, if it's him your scared of) or make any decisions about whether or not to divorce or stay in the US or go home... it sounds like you are feeling very alone and overwhelmed, and I think the people suggesting you seek counseling or find some sort of support agencies for women or Latinas are noticing the same.
Good luck... you deserve to be happy, have a stable life, and have children if you want to... try to figure out your next steps and move forward as best as you can.

Ciyara, I know you didn't want a divorce but sometimes relationships don't work and sometimes people change. It's possible you are seeing how your husband really is. What you are describing is not healthy for you at all-I don't know you but I'm concerned for you. You can get a divorce and still stay here in the usa. I know life isn't easy at all and your in a difficult situation but you should focus on your life NOW! You are still young and life is yours-take it and be happy.

Marrienne, the above is all good advice.
Here's something that almost no other job-interested person is doing:
http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/449151-the-steveandtiff-stupremacy/?p=6471637
You can set yourself apart from almost every other person out there.

FINALLY! I just received this email from my State Rep...
"They have found everything that was “misspent to the wrong office”. It is being sent today to the visa center. It is their mistake and they are taking the blame. They are revalidating the approval for four more months. Once it gets to the visa center we can then request it be expedited. We will check with the visa center the middle of next week."
"Call me with any questions."
Happy tears!!!