RhineMaiden

Moment of truth
 
It was the SEXUAL BEHAVIOR! 
 
cyberfx, you were right! 
 
So I talked to my daughter and I tried to be careful and keep it a casual conversation, still thinking that it really is might be a "classified" information only meant to be revealed to a consul. Here's how it went.
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Me: Mom told me she was asked to step out, I can't think of any logical reason for that.
Daughter: Oh, Dr. asked if I'm sexually active.
 
*****she didn't even stutter***** 
 
Me: I see, understood why you did what you did. 
Daughter: I know you would. Can you imagine if grandma finds out that way?
Me: Uhm no, I can't. All I know is I'm going there to pick you up. I'm not coming home to a funeral.
Daughter: And I have a Culinary Institute to attend to .... I am so not planning on dying yet, mom.
Me: Arighty, that's all I needed to know.
Daugther: Can we at least visit Universal Studios when I get there?
Me: Yeah, after a visit to my Ob-gyn, sure.
Daughter: Fair enough
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So it may not be the norm, it's actually a bit misleading, or worse - illegal, but I don't know! True that it doesn't make sense to ask a parent/legal guardian to step out is part of standard procedure in SLEC, but I tried to rationalize by thinking maybe because something like this sensitive interview might create a psychological/emotional distress to the child if done with a parent/legal guardian around?  Maybe the physicians make it a point so that a minor is comfortable to disclose such information with emotional stability? 
 
I mean, It's a different story if I had been the one with her instead of her grandma, and if they asked for me to step out for a moment to which I would gladly comply, then by the end of it, my daughter- without doubt would simply just tell me what it's all about, even before I get the chance to ask. 
 
But that's us, me and my daughter. That would've been our scenario.
 
Other people, parent-child given the same situation during the SLEC process - I don't know, I can't say. Considering the family dynamics of the Filipinos - I can only paint pictures in my head. 
 
So there it is. Case closed. May this topic be a useful one for some of our fellow visa applicants and to those who's gonna go through SLEC with their minor child. I hope that some of you will see the bigger picture here than just finding out your child was asked to keep a secret during a crucial stage on your immigration process.
 
Thank you everyone for all your input and they are very much appreciated!
 
 

Thank you, I appreciate that. I guess I just went on IMO the more appropriate approach for today's super-fast paced, ever changing time and generation. I had her when I was 18, my two other sisters were teen moms too, 17 and 19 .. We were raised on absurd rules and strict cultures and bizarre traditions... in the end, it never proved to be effective. Our parents didn't fail, but us kids were not successful either, so it wasn't a win-win. So I am determined to positively put a win on at least one side of the table. I honestly won't raise my kids entirely the way my parents raised us. I have failed my parents. I hope my child won't fail me.

I'm starting to believe it's the sexual activity now and that I agree with Hank, it would be very awkward with grandma around (considering she's not as open minded as I am). But if it's drugs, then she would've not passed the medical exam.
 
I will update when I get to talk to her and get this resolved once and for all. I haven't talked to her at all since they got home from SLEC, it was an exhausting day and she went straight to sleep. I only got to talk to my mom for a short time where she told me about that secret meeting, so yeah, definitely need to talk to my daughter.

Lol! I'm honestly just confused right now, but I really don't wanna jeopardize anything so I'm holding my breath for now until her visa is approved.
 
No worries. It really is just a matter of waiting a few more days for me to find out. Her visa interview is March 6. It's good that she passed the medical exam and no need for a 2 month long delay had she failed the IGRA (a couple of ladies they got to know were not as fortunate), if so then that would be a whole different story and I will insist on finding it out. I doubt they didn't know that my mom is her legal guardian, only parents and legal guardians can accompany minors to SLEC with no questions asked, otherwise additional documentations from me and the chaperon must be provided.
 
Well, for a little insight, the topic of sex is openly discussed between me and my daughter, yes, we have that kind of mother-daughter relationship. 14 is way too young, I know, but with all honesty I will say it right here right now that yes, she has been sexually active, to one partner - her boyfriend of almost a year now. The  amount of courage that took her to call me to confide about it,  the way I see it, she only gave me the RESPECT I deserve for educating her about engaging in such an intimate behavior. I only felt nothing but relief... relief that I don't have to deal with suspicions, snooping around, anxiety and full blown panic attacks and of course, the most dreadful moment of finding out that I ended up with a pregnant teenager! She is well aware of the protections, the responsibilities and consequences etc.. She knows she's not in any way ready to raise a child, I am pleased that she took the responsibility to tell me, finding it out in any other way would only make me feel that I somewhat failed as a parent, specially in today's world and generation where temptations and awful decisions are just a text, snap and tweet away..... and she doesn't eat TIde Pods, so it's +1 more parent point for me  
 
I haven't talked to my daughter yet, she's still asleep, but I will soon ... and if this SLEC secret is indeed what you think it is, which actually is very possible, matter of fact it makes a whole lot of sense to me that this might actually be it!! so thank you!

Congratulations and It sounds like scheduling an interview is the only thing left to be done.
 
- So the general information from the checklist found at the website is this:
Family-based visa applications:  - A signed Affidavit of Support from your petitioner and any additional financial sponsors who submitted a Form I-864 on behalf of your visa application.  Applicants may bring photocopies and scanned versions of signed Forms I-864 and associated documents. (Please note that the form must still be signed; typed names and electronic signatures will not be accepted.) https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/immigrate/the-immigrant-visa-process/interview/interview-prepare/required-documents.html
 
- But THE interview letter says this: 
 
"If a sponsor filed an I-864 (Affidavit of Suppport) AND provided NVC with proof of an IRS Federal Income Tax Return in lieu of a Federal Income Tax Return, you must bring the sponsor's most recent Federal Income Tax Return to the visa interview." (also shown in the attached image)
 
...So the way I understand it, that was the I-864 form itself that we filled up and was originally sent to NVC. The I-864 remains with them, it is already taken care of, a new form/a copy of the form/the original form, IS NO longer needed. In my letter, they asked for the ITR (I am providing the last 5 years along with the W2's) specifically.

Moment of truth
 
It was the SEXUAL BEHAVIOR! 
 
cyberfx, you were right! 
 
So I talked to my daughter and I tried to be careful and keep it a casual conversation, still thinking that it really is might be a "classified" information only meant to be revealed to a consul. Here's how it went.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: Mom told me she was asked to step out, I can't think of any logical reason for that.
Daughter: Oh, Dr. asked if I'm sexually active.
 
*****she didn't even stutter***** 
 
Me: I see, understood why you did what you did. 
Daughter: I know you would. Can you imagine if grandma finds out that way?
Me: Uhm no, I can't. All I know is I'm going there to pick you up. I'm not coming home to a funeral.
Daughter: And I have a Culinary Institute to attend to .... I am so not planning on dying yet, mom.
Me: Arighty, that's all I needed to know.
Daugther: Can we at least visit Universal Studios when I get there?
Me: Yeah, after a visit to my Ob-gyn, sure.
Daughter: Fair enough
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
So it may not be the norm, it's actually a bit misleading, or worse - illegal, but I don't know! True that it doesn't make sense to ask a parent/legal guardian to step out is part of standard procedure in SLEC, but I tried to rationalize by thinking maybe because something like this sensitive interview might create a psychological/emotional distress to the child if done with a parent/legal guardian around?  Maybe the physicians make it a point so that a minor is comfortable to disclose such information with emotional stability? 
 
I mean, It's a different story if I had been the one with her instead of her grandma, and if they asked for me to step out for a moment to which I would gladly comply, then by the end of it, my daughter- without doubt would simply just tell me what it's all about, even before I get the chance to ask. 
 
But that's us, me and my daughter. That would've been our scenario.
 
Other people, parent-child given the same situation during the SLEC process - I don't know, I can't say. Considering the family dynamics of the Filipinos - I can only paint pictures in my head. 
 
So there it is. Case closed. May this topic be a useful one for some of our fellow visa applicants and to those who's gonna go through SLEC with their minor child. I hope that some of you will see the bigger picture here than just finding out your child was asked to keep a secret during a crucial stage on your immigration process.
 
Thank you everyone for all your input and they are very much appreciated!
 
 

Thank you, I appreciate that. I guess I just went on IMO the more appropriate approach for today's super-fast paced, ever changing time and generation. I had her when I was 18, my two other sisters were teen moms too, 17 and 19 .. We were raised on absurd rules and strict cultures and bizarre traditions... in the end, it never proved to be effective. Our parents didn't fail, but us kids were not successful either, so it wasn't a win-win. So I am determined to positively put a win on at least one side of the table. I honestly won't raise my kids entirely the way my parents raised us. I have failed my parents. I hope my child won't fail me.

I'm starting to believe it's the sexual activity now and that I agree with Hank, it would be very awkward with grandma around (considering she's not as open minded as I am). But if it's drugs, then she would've not passed the medical exam.
 
I will update when I get to talk to her and get this resolved once and for all. I haven't talked to her at all since they got home from SLEC, it was an exhausting day and she went straight to sleep. I only got to talk to my mom for a short time where she told me about that secret meeting, so yeah, definitely need to talk to my daughter.

~~Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to Off Topic.~~
 
~~~Duplicate threads merged.~~~

You could buy her a round trip Manila-Chicago-Manila and just not use the return; many people do that as return flights are often cheaper than one ways.  Do NOT buy her a round trip Chicago-Manila-Chicago with the intent to only use the second leg- when she doesn't turn up for the first leg, the second one will be automatically cancelled.

you can buy a round trip that is way out and call up the airline once you are here and offer to cancel it if they refund it or give you some money back otherwise just skip the return flight.

Single fares are often priced higher than a return.
 
One option is to pick the fly date you want then book the return a long way out. It may be cheaper or you can make it changeable so that you have a return visit partly paid to nip back to Manila as a mum and daughter holiday etc.
Another is to fly the Manila to Chicago single leg on airmiles plus a contribution using the 3 family flights to ramp up the mileage ....... plus other flights and mileage etc.
 
 
 
 

Yes that's what we often do since round-trip is so much cheaper: we buy the round-trip and try to estimate a future date where we might actually want to use it. Then even if we have to pay $ to change the date, that often is worth it in the end. 
 
I often check ticket prices with Skyscanner because they manage to check a lot of different sites all at once. Also Google Flights is a neat tool that helps to see which dates might be cheaper than others for a given route.
 
Good luck!

Usually, booking far ahead is cheaper. However, sometimes there are fare sales, and then June date is probably prime tourist season (schools are out...), so it is more expensive.  Also look at the days of the week; some days tend to be cheaper than others. If you have some time before deciding on dates, you can set up a Google alert that will email you when prices fall.
 
Did you already book your tickets?  There should be a flight number and times.  Just make sure the flight number and times (and date!) are the same for the ticket for your daughter.

Unfortunately for me, this will be my first time in 7 years to be flying back home, I know, it's been a long while. So in that case, I'm really not sure how airmiles work, I've heard about credit card ads and such but I don't have that. Are you suggesting some kind of app or online rewards? I'm interested.
 
Thank you! I will look at Skyscanner, I just happened to hear some negative reviews about Kayak and Expedia so I'm not really planning to go that way. Thanks again!

Agree. There are only 6 legal grounds for annulment in Philippines.
1. Absence of Parent's consent for 18years old and below 21.
2. Psychological Incapacity
3. Marriage consent is obtained by fraud
4. Marriage consent is obtained by force
5. Physically incapable of consummating marriage
6. Spouse acquired INCURABLE STD
 
NOTE: Infidelity is NOT a ground for annulment.
 
You would need a lawyer to support your claim. It's a long uphill battle. 

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I am from Philippines and I can tell you that what your fiancée told you was a lie. First of all you do not need a marriage license for her to process her son's birth certificate at the hospital unless she was married to the father. There are kids that are born out of wedlock in the Philippines and such paperworks are not necessary. I don't want to judge her because I know few women who really just want to start a new life and move on from previous relationship. But it is not an excuse for her to lie to you and wait until up to this point. It seemed like she try her way around this situation and just hope that things will go her way but it didn't worked out. I know that you spent a lot already for her but I think it's best to re-assess your relationship with her. It's not fair to you to be paying the annulment for her and plus she was not honest with you in the beggining. What makes you think she will not lie to you about other things? This is a difficult situation for you and I hope you will think hard about it before making any sudden decision. Sometimes we need to take a step back to see clearly. If you really love her and she loves you she will owned up her mistakes and won't rush you into making decision. You will recover the loss that you spent working for her visa but if you pursue into helping her with the annulment you will spend much more than you can possibly think. Philippines is not known for having a fast process of things. Even wealthy people takes years for them to have it finalize. goodluck and I hope you decide wisely. 

so she 1) hid the truth about her kid's father 2) told you she was free to marry you 3) when presented with the evidence (her name/the kid's father's name being the same), she made up a story about him signing paperwork at the hospital
Only when you confronted her/pressed for more details, she confessed she actually was involved in the "going to the mayor" thing. As you can read in other comments, there's probably a whole lot more involved in that, too - so if you keep pressing, there may be other things she's not telling.
 
I'm sorry, man. It's a hard lesson to learn, and I appreciate you wanting to be faithful and following through, but these lies are HUUGE red flags. Contrary to what you seem to think, not every woman "these days" has a baby at 18.
 
You are still young. It'll be a major heartbreak, but you WILL survive. Take it from someone who didn't find true love until age 33, it's well worth the wait. 

I would agree with this. I dont buy the story of "just signing the paperworks at the hospital" to make the processing of her kid's birth certificate easier. I am from Philippines and obtaining a marriage license in Philippines is not as easy and quick as compared in U.S. She is obviously married and she hid that fact from you. In Philippines, you cannot get a marriage license in just 2days. 
You have to attend a pre-wedding seminar. And if you are 25years old and below, you need parent's advice/consent. 
 
What I am trying to say is... Marriage in Philippines is a long complex process. One cannot simply say, I didnt know I was married. I signed something and I didn't know it's a marriage thing. Philippines is semi-conservative. Having a baby before marriage is not socially accepted on some parts of the country and so some rush into marriage knowing that there is a baby on the way. It's still planned marriage though. 

I hate to say this .... But turn around ...... and RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! 
 

I hate to say this .... But turn around ...... and RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! 
 

I hate to say this .... But turn around ...... and RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! 
 

I hate to say this .... But turn around ...... and RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! 
 

I hate to say this .... But turn around ...... and RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! 
 

I hate to say this .... But turn around ...... and RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!