Neldreemz

So sorry for the late response, I'm just getting use to this site and all the many ways to interact with members!
I agree with you, I even would go as far as to wonder if the Nigerian govt is somehow requesting a low number of visas be approved. I try to visit as often as $$$ and time allows us. Even as far as going for only 4 days at a tim,only to return to work straight from my flight. Its a nightmare! I am considering a leave from work to spend a month or two if I am able during the summer months. At the end of this all I pray I still have a job! But still trekking on hoping for the light at the end of the deep tunnel!.( In my nigerian voice..."There is God ooooh")

So happy to report that my husband picked up his visa today... We are now shopping flights so he can be here asap!
There is a full update on my timeline and a review of the interview on Embassy review page!! All praise and glory to God! He sent this man into my life and perfected this entire process for us!
Thank you to all the wonderful VJ members that encouraged me and shared their stories and knowledge. Dwheels76, dear you will allways be remembered!

*****Update*****
Well I will say the Embassy replied quickly! The answer was no though! It was quite a generic response so I am sure it was never thoroughly considered! Im satisfied given my reasons. Lol! It was worth the shot... A closed mouth does not get fed! Stay blessed everyone and thanks to all for your input and well wishes!

Neldreemz, Congrats !! .What date is your CC?

Congrats naija bro!

Interview scheduled Jan 21, 2016 10am at Lagos!!!! If I tell you God is good I mean it!!! Hallelujah. Im so full of excitement!!! This thing is finally nearly done. ??????

I would also like to thank Dwheels for all your help and contributions! Trust me when I see a post or response headed by you, I read with a sharp eye! You have helped me both directly and indirectly! God bless you!

I am so sorry about this news. I think the first thing to do is take a moment to ask yourself what advice would you give your best friend in this situation regarding whether to continue the relationship, then ask youself for yourself given the love and commitment you feel toward your fiance. Then it will require some time and reflection to gain the trust back if that is your choice bc you cant fully commit wholeheartedly to what it takes next to continue this visa journey if there are doubts in your mind about your fiance. Then lastly with all the great advice of the experts whom have responded on this topic and which can be found throughout VJ, be the well organized and prepared person you seem to be and get ready to tackle the next endeavor which I pray lead you to a happy long life with your fiance should you choose to continue the relationship. Should you choose to end it, either way I wish you strength and good luck! God bless dear and will be praying for you!

I really relate to this. I had depression before I met my husband, but the whole process of course only made it much worse. If you've never had depression before, it can feel quite scary. You don't feel like the same person anymore.
My personal advice to the OP, you, and anyone else feeling this way:
-Focus on the victories, however small they may be (find something at least once a month to celebrate or feel thankful for)
-Focus on the small steps of the process being completed, and think about how far you've come since the start
-Family and friends have your best interest at heart, but unless they're in your relationship, they don't have the right to say if it's real or fake
-Realize the inequalities that exist between us and those who fell in love in the same country, but let that anger transform your motivation
-Transform your free time into something that will benefit you two in the future
-Make plans for how you want your lives to be, start preparing, and before you know it, things will fall into place
-Remember even when you feel all alone, your spouse is feeling the same way too
Hugs and best wishes

Aww. I can feel your emotions right through your words. It is not an easy road at all but when you have a good honest one it's well worth it in the end. It will be an emotional roller coaster. You will laugh, cry and rejoice many times. You will feel overwhelmed and doubtful but it's the fatigue and frustration kicking in. Try and be proactive by preparing everything now. There is no way around the time difference. Just last night I feel asleep on hubby while he was all enthusiastic but it was 2am my time. You wil be tired and cranky and you two will get into it due to the separation. Pray constantly for the strength to endure this gruesome process. Family, friends and Co workers will think you're nuts since it's not the traditional way of doing things but only you and God will know that this is the right thing and right man for you. Hold on and don't let it consume you. Our Case Took 10.5 Mos WHICH Is great. Find someone who is going through this same process and become phone buddies or meet in person if close by. I met some awesome people whom I could pour my heart out to without judgment. Good luck and hugs to you

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.
I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.
I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...
I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

I'm right there with you. My husband and I married in Lagos 3 years ago. I've only been back once since then for just a week and he has never been here. My family were very surprised that we got married. They were really concerned for me which is understandable. My mom has talked with him on the phone a few times so that makes her feel better. I try to keep them involved in our lives... when he's sick, what we are going through with the visa, every day life... I talk about him and our marriage all the time. It makes things easier. They feel they are part of it and they are praying as well. That makes everything a lot less stressful.
We started our journey with a K1. I didn't know what I was doing so they needed more information and it expired before I could get everything else sent back to them. So we tried again a little later. Everything went well until his interview. We had forgotten that I had applied for K1 for him prior so when they asked him about it he responded that I had not applied before. We were denied.
After talking with others in our boat they said that getting married was a better option. We started our process in November 2014 for the K3. I submitted everything you can think of... pictures, e mails, IM conversations, and more than enough with the financial. I even got a letter from an officer of my bank stating what had been deposited in the last year and how long I had the account with them. (I think that went a long way) We just got notified last week that we have a completed case and we are now waiting for the interview to be scheduled. It's faster than I thought it would be. It's tough, but we know we are a stronger couple for going through all of our daily struggles together.
We decided to be a married couple that happen to live 7000 miles apart. We talk about every little thing from work to finances. We still make all of our decisions together. We are not living separate lives if that makes sense. That makes things easier too.
We know that we will be together here very soon. We know we did the right thing in getting married in Nigeria. We wouldn't change things at all.
If you need to talk about anything or just need support you can contact me. Keep your head up and pray really hard that God puts all of your visa issues in the hands of the people who will do it justice.

@mrs E - yep...everyone can relate....
take heart....and when you get sad, read some of the personal stories here on VJ...you will see the light in your own circumstances.
so hang in there!

Your comment speaks to my heart... Everyday through this process I become more and more depressed. I have become withdrawn from family and friends and am barely motivated to even go to work. I just feel I am losing all this precious newlywed moments with my husband and no matter what I do I feel his presence missing to the point I no longer want to do things I use to enjoy. I never imagined this to be as hard as it has been. I have considered just quitting the process and just relocating to Nigeria myself, but reality kicks in and I know I cant be happy in Nigeria. He is so supportive and we do try to bridge the gap of distance and time difference as much as we can... But everyday is definitely a struggle. I just pray and lean on him!

What a beautiful story and couple might I add...Good luck on your journey!!!

I hope is good news. I be waiting almost 5 months. I hope to get NOA2 before I leave to visit my husband in june. Thanks

I second everything AYOsGirl is saying bc my husband has also been propositioned with this similar scam. As soon as the "hood" learns he is married to an American citizen, all kinds of request from random ppl requesting US bank info to wire funds to.. in hopes to get this money brought into Nigeria by unsuspecting person, with no link to the real criminal. They think that there is no harm because even if the US bank account holder were to get in legal problems behind this, they believe the bank holder can just fall back on complete deniability and avoid prison time, since they are unaware of the true nature of how the stolen funds were aquired. They care nothing of the legal repercussions and cost to all victims involved to clear their name. Please think very hard about this. I spoke with my husband about this and his response was in his Nigerian voice a big "AHAH" and some words in Yoruba. I asked him to translate and he said he wont but if he was ever chanced to say these words to your husband that your husband will curse him out and be looking for blood. His advice and mine is get to know this man better before you proceed.

The saddest part of all this is that I noticed you are so close to your interview date and should be head over heels knowing he would be home with you soon. I have to tell you, my husband is Nigerian and we have been living together for almost 6 years here in Ghana together. I have SEEN and HEARD just about everything I ever wish to see or hear about what some people are capable of doing to another for money. Its a hard life here, just like in Nigeria (I've been there twice as well). A lot of men and women will do criminal things here to earn money to eat or provide for their families. I feel bad for them, but at the same time they are preying on my own country men and women when they do it. Before we had internet in our house, we used to go to an internet café a lot to talk to people back home. I saw the lengths to which a young man would go to, and they were so used to seeing me in there, that I guess it didn't phase them or make them want to hide the fact that they were pretending to be a female talking to an American man who was on their computer screen doing some "really gross things"....in front of this young man, and not the hot girl they thought they were talking to.
My point is, this request your husband is asking of you, is classic scam 101. Someone is stealing money from someone's account and wanting to send it to yours (a wire transfer)....OR someone is scamming someone out of their money and in order to make the scam look legit, they are asking the person to wire the money to an American bank account. Sending the money to Nigeria whether it is thru moneygram/ western union or to a Nigerian bank account would never fit into the "story". I'm not saying your husband is the ring leader, but perhaps someone has come to him and said "hey, we know you have a wife in America, if you do this...we will give you a percentage of it". People have pulled my husband to the side on numerous occasions and tried to ask the same thing. He just tells them "no no no". He would NEVER put me in that position not to talk of getting mad at me if I said no.
I understand your husbands frustration, there is money dangling over his head if he can just do this one thing....and that would mean he'd have the money to buy the ticket to come there. But if there is real love there for you, he would NEVER put you in that position. That is something that you really want to take into consideration before you proceed with anything else. At the VERY least, he shouldn't be concocting a story about people owing his sister money, yada yada yada. If he'd lie to you about that, form up a big story about it, risk putting you in jeopardy AND making you feel bad for not giving in, then is this the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Almost everyone has given their opinion in a respectful way. I have not been offended by any of the comments. I have read every comment and my hope is that he will read each comment as well. Thanks again y'all.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way after all the waiting. I completely sympathize. Only thing I can say is stay strong in your decision to decline to help. If he wants a tranfer of funds his sister open an account in Nigeria. Any Nigerian resident with ID can open one for 100 naira. Those ppl who you dont know can deposit the money in her personal account not yours. This a scam and very widely known for scammers in Vietnam and Malaysia to xfer these usually stolen funds. Why would your husband want you involved in this even if the chance was 1 % that this could cause you legal trouble or possible prison time for your involvement? Why cant yous simply say no without a heated argument? Just remind him its not him you dont trust but his sister's associates. Just please stay away from this thing. And if your husband persists, I dont want to pass judgment on him but from now on I would watch him very closely and pay attention to everything he does and says just to be certain he is who he really says he is. Again so sorry you have to be dealing with this when you should just be in love and happy he is nearly home with you!

Case complete today!! NVC Rep said good job everything was perfect and now the interview will be scheduled in Lagos. Oh boy!!

Im so sorry that you are going through this ordeal! It is not healthy for your children and certainly not healthy for you. Maybe you can try to talk with your husband, and ask him to remind you the reasons he fell in love with you and you also remind him of the reasons you fell in love with him. As you listen to his replies, please listen for truth and sincerity and let both your mind and heart decide what your next actions will be. Pay careful attention to his facial expressions as he listens to your reasons for loving him. This is a technique I learned from my husband, to help us to get through any quarrel or conflict from clash of cultures we struggle with. In the end it has always ben about love. So, If there was true love once, I believe it doesnot just go away especially not in 2 months. Something may have fell apart in the time you were apart. Continue to try if this is the man you want as a father figure and role model to your children...continue to try if this is the man you believe loves you as he loves himself... continue to try until the day he no longer resembles or represents the love and life God meant for you! Then you will be at peace with any decision to move on and allow for new blessings in your life. God bless you and I am hoping he doesnt disappoint.I will keep you ad your family in my prayers.

YYYYEEEESSSSSS!!!! The things I have heard and read about Nigeria's interviews almost like they relish in giving the denials even if the K-1 is approved. We went so far as to front load embassy stamped bachelorhood certificate for him and affadavits from his family and mine. It is so sad almost. I was even considering putting the WEAC results to prove he isn't a fraud. Basically the hurdle is prove your guy isn't a fraud. He is nigerian. Nigerian man equals visa fraud. So I am like why even approve the petition?Save people some time and anxiety..... Then it is almost like the adjudicators want the USC to stay in Nigeria for more than a month or multiple visits to prove he isn't scamming...... Excuse me but I have a JOB and a kid in school. Who has that kind of time to be gone away from their house that long???? Ok I have vented.... Keep me posted.

Awwhhhhhh you have me in tears right now! :cry:your post has been the most hopeful and I solicit your prayers. May God be with ye! Its easy for people to say...get rid or them or move on, but I say....this is....my heart. I fell in love. There is healing that has to take place no one just falls out of love just because of mistreatment, not even a child who is being abused by its mother. It takes time. Remember we all have dreams of our spouses coming home, we wait a year, we cry, have joy, we never expect something like this to happen and when it does it is devastating. :cry:So thank you I really appreciate you.

Im so sorry that you are going through this ordeal! It is not healthy for your children and certainly not healthy for you. Maybe you can try to talk with your husband, and ask him to remind you the reasons he fell in love with you and you also remind him of the reasons you fell in love with him. As you listen to his replies, please listen for truth and sincerity and let both your mind and heart decide what your next actions will be. Pay careful attention to his facial expressions as he listens to your reasons for loving him. This is a technique I learned from my husband, to help us to get through any quarrel or conflict from clash of cultures we struggle with. In the end it has always ben about love. So, If there was true love once, I believe it doesnot just go away especially not in 2 months. Something may have fell apart in the time you were apart. Continue to try if this is the man you want as a father figure and role model to your children...continue to try if this is the man you believe loves you as he loves himself... continue to try until the day he no longer resembles or represents the love and life God meant for you! Then you will be at peace with any decision to move on and allow for new blessings in your life. God bless you and I am hoping he doesnt disappoint.I will keep you ad your family in my prayers.