luv2uallday

I am a CR1 visa cathegory holder, according to the immigration law, an immigrant is granted a CR1 or an IR1 depending on how old the immigrant's marriage, the day he/she is interviewed and granyed a visa, but my case is a little bit confusing, i have been married for 2 years and 5 months the day i was interviewed and granted a visa, even though I got a CR1 .did this happen to anyone else ? was it a mistake /?

actually it is the age of the marriage upon entry into the USA... not the visa issuance... regardless in your situation it should be IR

CR1 and IR1 are both visa categories and immigration status designators. A CR1 visa holder who uses the visa to enter the US after the second wedding anniverary is entitled to IR1 status upon entry.

??? that doesn't make sense to me my wife came here on a k3 visa and got a ir/1 category. she entered the country 7 months before our interview we were married in 2005 she came here march 2007 interview sept 2007. so if it's from the date of entry of usa shouldn't she gotten a cr1?

I talked to a friend of mine. He went 4 years ago to USA from Norway on a B2 Visa. He got Married while there and just stayed.

He said if I did this I could marry quicker and dont have to wait for the K1 visa..

If so.. whats the point of the K1 visa in the first place?

Any advice?

to enter this country with intent other than what you state on your visa application is VISA fraud. Yes you CAN do it. but it doesn't mean you SHOULD do it. Your friend is one example why so many are having hard times getting a visa.. The more people abuse what privelidges are given to them the more tighter the regulations and the greater the suffering those who are decent and honest will be..

K1 fiance is your best route to go.. it will take you just ALITTLE longer in processing times than a visitor visa. And you will not have to worry about being deinied due to visa fraud deportation or all that jazz.. Your freind was lucky that doesn't mean you will be too

Glenn is right on so many areas. We as a people voted for change. but we didn't vote for our country to be sold to the lowest bidder. It seems to me now the blind are leading and those who can see the cliff right in front or just following..

Obama stands for change but it's the change that our children will pay for with their freedom. Their taxes. After this generation has finished raping this country of its wealth there will be nothing left for our children to build upon but one thing the chains of our sins......

I wish we had true leaders not well spoken hypocrits who can woo the masses with their tongues. We need a New Reagan of this era.

Good luck

waiting for the haters to responds Lol

I noticed that there are so many controversies here in our very own Philippine forum lately and I'm saddened by it seriously. Please let us keep the PEACE here brothers and sisters instead of attacking each other and fighting for nonsense things .We are all here to help and support each other especially those who are still in limbo and desperate to be united with their loved ones here in the US. Let's be careful if we want to post something and see if it's offensive or not. If it will only provoke anger and hatred then refrain from posting such topic so we can keep the peace.

NO PEACE IN THIS FORUM FLAMERS RULE!!! hey the controversies make this forum fun adds the spice so to say if there was no controversy then this forum would be BORING...

we are here to support each other but when possible we are here to stab each other in the back

Im planning on marrying my girlfriend in the philippines. i currently live in USA (California). I will be seeing her in about 1 month (May 13-24, 2009). My question is... What will I need to take to have her sign and what are the requirements? Also, how long can I expect her to be here once i return? Thank for all your help:)

Okies I married my wife in the philippines and brang her here on a k3 visa.

in 2007 the processing time for a k3 visa was 8 months plus minus in all alittle shorter than a cr1/ir1.

Requirements to marry in the philippines to my knowledge: (will include a link to further verify)

You :

• Obtain a certificate of legal capacity to marry from the embassy
• include if divorced a certified copy of your divorce decree
• passport
• attend a marriage seminar through your local civil registrar's office

Her:

• Birth certicate (certified)
• attend marriage seminar via civil registrar's office
• if under a certain age must have parental consent to marry

The waiting period after you two have applied for a marriage license is 10 days. So make sure you scedule the wedding well in advance to make sure you have your marriage license in time.

WHen I married my wife I stayed there a month and that was barely enough time to get it done. If you go there for a week and expect to have your I do's said and done you are in for a big surprise marrying in phils is a slow and frustrating process filled with lots of paperwork and if there is something wrong that means delays. When you plan to marry over there alot time for problems.. but then again i had my wedding in a church with the works. not a court one so mine was far more involved. Also, when you are married make sure the liscense is sent to registrar's office asap because it can take up to 6 months for the license to make it to NSO and that is important for the visa.....

for the visa

She will need to sign the g_325a biographical data forms.. If for a k-3 she will need to sign the i-129f form and the i-130 form if just cr1/ir1 she will need to sign the I-130 form

thats all i know i'm sure there is more but hey i'm human. My best advice for you to is study read up because it takes real work to do it. I wish u the best

heres a link http://www.filipinoweb.com/married.html

Hi,

I'm new to all of this immigration stuff. I just want to make sure me and my spouse go about everything the best and legal way. My question is: Is he allowed to come into the US on his h1b tourist visa, and then are we allowed to file adjust status i-485 and i-130? Or would this be considered fraud, since he entered with the intention of "visiting"? We were married in 11-2008 in his home country. Are my only options to apply for a K3 visa for him or do consular processing? I've been reading conflicting things, so I'm confused. Any help would be appreciated.

One quick question....if we do it at the consular in his country and apply for an immigrant visa do I have to be present with him when he gets his interview?

Thanks.

This is a gray area... I call it Quasi fraud.. If you come into the country on a b1 tourist visa and petition immediately that constitute fraud. by using your visa for other intentions other than what you stated on your application.

But if you waited some months like past 6 months per say you could adjust status. But even though it's not fraud in the strict sense of the word. it becomes and ethics issue. its not illegal but then again it's not right. You still came into the country with false pretences.

Also, actions like this makes it harder for others to attain visa's for the simple fact that you didn't do as you promised. (come here do the functions you stated then return in due time)

You would have a problem getting a tourist visa at least i would think knowing your husband is already in usa. The consular would see you as a high risk of immigrating.. You would need some good evidence that you would return home when your visa term is through.

The best way is the right way (IR/1, CR/1) or K3 that is your best avenue and its legal and ethics free

Good luck to you.

Hi,

This is the first time I am posting anything so forgive me if this has already been asked before. My fiance will have his interview at the end of April in the US Embassy in Manila. I know that to petition for your fiance/fiancee that there is a required 2yrs of having met prior to when you decide to petition. We sent out papers beginning of 2008. The last time I saw my fiance was 2006. I haven't been able to visit him in the philippines for almost 3yrs because I am a full time student. Would they question my fiance why I havent visited him this whole time and perhaps see our relationship as not genuine? Would my going to the Philippines when he has his interview be of any benefit since it has been almost 3yrs since I have seen him? Money and free time for me are major reasons why I haven't had a chance to visit him.

We talk to each other as much as we can thru MSN and Skype, almost everyday in fact.

If anyone could please give me any feedback about this, it would be of great help.

The first requirement is the meeting of you and your fiancee within 2 years.You said the last time you seen her was 3 years ago..that alone didnt meet the requirement so you need to go back and meet her.

No, they have already been approved. The requirement is that you have met in person within 2 years of filing. Not sure why your interview took a year and 4 months after you filed your petition to be scheduled.

To answer the original question, it would be a very good idea to be at the interview with your fiance. Especially since you have not visited in so long.

It actually did not take us 1yr 4months to schedule the interview but for the entire process. It took us awhile because we were stuck at Vermont Service Center for a little bit. It is only recently that it finally got sent to NVC and now to the US Embassy.

Yeah I am leaning towards to having to go, I just now have to figure what to do with school. Thank you though for your feedback.

Yes, I meant for the entire process. That's a very long time (I'm sure you know that better than me). I think it would be very important in this instance to go to the interview if you can. It is very good evidence of a legitimate ongoing relationship.

I have decided to go to my fiancee's interview (hopefully in May). I just don't want to take any chances and I don't think anyone regrets going but you may regret not going.

Best of luck to you.

I went to the interview with my wife. To me its a good idea. It shows that there is a large commitment. It is more important to go if there is a large age gap because of "marriage of convenience" issues. Either way it is a good idea. The only setback it can cause is if you really dont know your fiance or spouse and when they question you, there are inconsistancies or you say the wrong things then going there can work against you not for you. Our interview lasted under five minutes I was only asked one thing. But it was soo fun to see inside the embassy and the processes of what everyone goes through. Also, you will be able to escort your wife back to USA for which be a scary ordeal, so that will ease things alittle. Good luck to you

Hello everyone!

This is Douglas here...thanks for all of the recent congrats and well wishes on our approval and now today the arrival of Dylan's fiance visa packet...we are thrilled. My question is did any of you guys travel back to the Philippines and return with your fiance...if so how did you coordinate your travel. I already have an Idea of how I'm going to take care of it. Roundtrip ticket for me on Philippines Air Lines and get her the same flight coming back. San Francisco to Manila then back to SFO together. Then work our way back to Florida. This will not be happening until June anyway so we are actually still waiting..but we are so thankful for all the recent developments with the visa. It felt like forever from the time of the NOA1 until NOA2..but ever since the NOA2 it seems like a blur it went so fast!

Also we recently asked if she needed a round-trip ticket. Thanks for the responses on just needing a one-way for her. The reason to ask this was at one time or another I read ( don't think it was here..but another site ) the fiance needed round-trip and it was REQUIRED in case things went bad and she needed a way out. But I guess this was wrong or something that used to be required..because I know some of you Pinays are living here already and just had the one way ticket.

As always God bless and help all on this journey

Douglas

I attended the interview with my wife as well. What you do is go to a local travel agent and tell them your flight itenerary and try to book a flight on that same flight as yours. Problem is if you wait too long you run the chance of your flight being fully booked so as soon as she gets her visa secure her flight. Also, since you will booking close to departure date don't expect a low price. Good deals disappear by that time. Good luck

i'm singaporean and my fiancee is a US citizen. we both live in singapore at the moment. we have applied for petition for an alien fiance (i-129f) and sent it to the vermont service center on early march. we plan to get married in singapore before we get our K-1 visa and then again later once we have arrive in the US. my question is should we hide the fact that we got married in singapore before we enter the US, as we've applied for K-1 fiance visa?....or is it not a problem to disclose that we have been married before we enter the US and will marry again in the US if need be?

we had always plan to get married first before we move to the US. the reason we chose the K-1 instead of K-3 was because the process is shorter and also if we do the K-3, our marriage is still 3 months away from now and we want to get the visa asap.

thanks

Ok, getting married and claiming your single to get a k1 fiance visa is called "married single" that is VISA FRAUD the penalty for fraud is a lifetime ban on any visa for you. Even if you get the visa and then declare it at the POE you will be sent back and lifetime ban will be placed on you. Even if you make it past the POE and it is caught upon review years later when you apply for citizenship and they do a review of your all your paperwork and they catch your fraud then you could be subject for deportation or you can get your citezenship but will be barred for life to apply for your immediate family to come here. My best advice is NOT to do that be honest not DIShonest.

If you get married in singapore you will have to cancel your petition and re-file under another visa category K3, IR1 etc..

The problem you might have is in order for you to qualify for a visa your fiance has to prove he will be permanently residing in the US. So be sure to gather all evidence of his US domicile.

In any case your gonna have to be patient. At times the quickest route is often the shortest road to disaster so just do it right and wait in time it will happen good luck

even if you deposit the money in her count they still need to verify that the money is not just for "show". meaning you have to have an active bank account where cash flows is coming in and out regularly rather than one time deposit... a friend of ours was denied even if she got 1M in her bank since they know its not really hers. although you can always try and explain that hey we filed K1 already and that should mean that we're following all the rules and guidelines to enter legally in the US... etc...

good luck!!!

Appreciate the responses! Seems like we're not treating visitors equally here in the US if we set requirements such that only those with money can visit. We might try the "already filed K1" route and see where it leads. Thanks agan!

yea. but phils is a high fraud post. Even if your fiance had lots of money land and had a million ties to phils the fact that she has you would get her denied a visit visa because of high chance of intetention to immigrate and or adjust status..

It's not fair you are right but it's not the consular's fault its OUR fault. Due to the fact of high fraud and people violating the terms of their visa. It causes the embassy to make it tough on visa issuance. The dishonesty and lack of integrety of visa applicants (the ones that are bad) makes EVERYONE pay the price.

There was a time when getting a visa was short easy and trouble free. My dad came here in 69 married his first wife and 2 weeks later he recieved his green card in the mail automatically no interview no nothin just got married and INS sent it out to him. But in the 70's fraud skyrocketed and its been getting tougher and tougher ever since.

My fiance is not allowed to travel abroad 'cause he is paying child support.

The reason you described (above) doesn't sound like a reason to not have met in person nor does it seem it would qualify for a waiver of the (meet in person) requirement.

actually you MAY be wrong. because if a noncustodial parent who is charged with child support falls behind a set amount I beleive it's 5 or 7 thousand dollars then a hold will be placed on that person barring him or her from attaining a passport or renewing a passport until the child support is caught up or is working in progress.

that is what the poster might be saying. Because paying child support in itself would not limit you from seeing your fiance. It's the block on the passport that would

He possibly could qualify in my opinion since he is inhibited by the Goverment from leaving the counrty. That could be a valid case but need to talk to a lawyer to get the facts this lady can't get a clear and cut answer from us. She needs to consult a immigration attorney for a clear direction

First off,

Hello all VJers. This is my first post, and it's a horrible note upon which to start. I've come here, read faithfully, and taken advice on a great many topics during my own visa journey, but never registered or posted until now. This forum gave me comfort and patience through the long arduous wait for my sweet, handsome, kind amazing man to get into the country, so we could finally get married and begin our life together. I read a lot of trauma and drama, but never felt compelled to participate. I heard some horror stories, too. Well, now it's all too real and I need some advice.

We were so happy and so in love, or at least I thought so. I visited him four times and spent hours chatting with him and emailing him and waiting. He promised me everything, promised to never hurt me, to be faithful, to never leave me, to always take care of me. He was handsome, charming, funny, intelligent, really easy going, blended in perfectly, spoke perfect, English, not even an accent. Had a way of putting everyone, self included, very much at ease. Was almost off putting because it often felt like he was born here and not from another culture, let alone from half way around the world. I was as happy as could be, it all seemed a fairy tail. We laughed, frolicked, played, flirted, just had so much fun and such a great connection. I danced for him, he loved it. He said all he cared about was if I was happy, . If I was happy he was happy. Just unreal. Now, looking back, I feel like big, fat, idiot for believing something that seemed so real and wonderful could really be true.

The Visa Journey was the easy part. Once he got here, there was no work, and I was not really prepared to support him for an extended period of unemployment. California is expensive, esp, the SF Bay area. I wasn't working when I filed the petition but had a fairly large reserve of cash, so family member co sponsored because of the tax return thing. This was temporary, as I soon had enough income to meet the guidelines. However, we all know nothing is "temporary" once the immigrant touches down on US soil. We got on well, but there were issues, I always felt something was wrong. He was secretive. He hid things from me. He minimized chat windows when I walked in the room, he went outside to take calls. He said he's private and he doesn't really know me well enough yet, so I tried to let it slide. I felt unease though. Through all the love, it seemed he spent an inordinate amount of time online, on social networking sites and chatting. Too much chatter not enough work. Well things progressed and the fairy tail started to wear off. We got in a few fights, but always kissed and made up afterward. At some point though (after our adjustment of status was filed, mind you) he began to withdraw from the marriage. He became more secretive. He never introduced me to any of his friends, never helped foster a relationship between his family and myself. I don't speak arabic, his mother does not speak english. Yet, he always passed along their love and regards to me, as I passed mine along to his family.

Meanwhile, he wasn't working and I was struggling to get a better job. The debt kept racking up. He already owed me for all the filings, lawyer fees, and a large loan as well. He never had money for his half of the bills, and this caused stress. I began noticing things. Suspicious new email accounts on his iphone, the fact he never listed himself married on facebook. That he had pictures in his profile that he marked private so I couldn't view. His excuse: I don't use facebook much so I shouldn't be "spying" on him. I began to get more and more suspicious of him. Something just wasn't right. After we had our AOS interview and he was approved, he got money to relocate us to the bay area. This made me nervous because it would be a much longer commute for me, and my income alone would not be enough to cover the higher overhead. He insisted. So we moved in December. He had already checked out of the marriage by then, but I was the last one to get the memo. Once we arrived, his 2 year card showed up about weeks later. He got a low paying job, and gave me a total of $400 dollars toward the last 8 months of bills. We began having worse fights, and he withdrew his affection. His eyes no longer followed me across the room. He demanded a divorce in the middle of a fight in Jan, but changed his mind when I left for two days. In Feb on the 15th we had another fight. He told me I wasn't keeping the house clean enough, I wasn't taking care of myself, and that I turned him off (mind you I was working full time the entire time). I took offense and called him an explicit name, with the word pig thrown in. Bad move, he is muslim though he does not practice, other than we observe ramadan. He again said he would divorce me. So it went. I promised to never call him a name in anger again and kept that promise. He didn't believe I could keep my promise, so he found something else to blame me for. He told me everything is all my fault and I'm a nag and a bad wife. I was still paying for him.

He finally got a job that would allow him to pay his share and begin to pay me back. At this point he was in debt to me over $25,000 and I was in debt as a result of it. We sat down and calculated the bills (the first time he really saw how much went in and out, and even then, I didn't include everything, so his share was $1300 a month and pay me back $500 a month on the back debt. This amount barely covered food, and had nothing built in for gas, auto insurance, tolls, misc, emergency, co-payments, the like. His job would yield $2400 take home per month. He decided in his infinite wisdom that since we would be working 24 miles away and I used the car for my job as an outside sales person that he would purchase or lease a car. He decided on leasing a 50,000 BMW that we could not afford. The payment alone was over $500 a month, not including insurance, gas or anything else. This was after he was going to get 10,000 from his family. He would not listen to me when I explained this was a very risky decision in this economy. Would not listen when I suggested something less expensive, but still nice. Told me it's none of my business. I could not let it go. As a result he said he would give me the 10,000 but he would take a job anywhere in the world and I was to follow him or not. Things escalated from there and he told me he's moving out at the end of March. We have a year lease which I cannot afford on my own. I dipped deep into my credit to make sure the roof was over our head, but he would not listen when I told him how hard it was. Would not discuss, just said he was going. Unlike before, I didn't beg him to stay. I said fine, you go. My family is coming to collect me, help me move all the big furniture and things I bought to furnish our home. He is moving out to go rent a room and in all likelihood not pay me anything he owes me. He can't handle being married or my debt. This is what he told me. The romance is gone. Has been since before we moved in December. The look in his eyes, gone. The desire to make me happy, gone. I tried REALLY hard to make sure we were taken care of and looked the other way anytime he fed me a line about what he was up to, why he was flirting with other people, why he didn't try to make me happy anymore.

It's a done deal. I have to sublet this apartment or I'm on the hook for an additional 20K. I can't stay, with my debt and the rent, I can't cover the overhead. My family who co sponsored him, loved and trusted him because he loved and cherished me is coming to collect me, 43 years old and pathetic.

Well it didn't end there. Last night I googled one of his user names or passwords he likes to use. The google search returned 7 hits on that name, all of which were posts at an exclusive adult entertainment site, specializing in massage parlours, escorts, call girls and the like. There is a feature where users can ask about one of these no doubt high caliber ladies and the services they provide. There is also a feature where a patron of said EXPENSIVE ladies can rate the lady on looks and "as a provider" it's a scale of 1-10. Lo, and behold, there was my sweeties screen name rating his experience with three of these ladies and inquiring about a few more. I didn't want to jump the gun, accuse him unfairly, so I dug around. I couldn't find any info on the user, however the particular ladies listed all had their contact information under the listings. I pulled our cell phone bills. Lo and behold the numbers for the three "escorts (I so want to call them what they really are)" were all on our phone bill. He had been he had seen he had his conquest.

I woke him and asked him to explain. He packed his bags and walked out. Said he will never return. The floodgates opened. He began seeing these women before we moved to the SF bay area. How many others there were I don't know. This is all I had numbers for. I don't want to know. I caught him lying in October about "flirting" which was basically contacting prostitutes and trying to get pictures, or so he said. He begged me to forgive him. Said it was an addiction, he would never do it again. Yet I found empty condom packs tucked into his brand new luggage. Luggage he didn't own before he became engaged and then married to me. He said they were probably his brothers. He obviously lied. I never could trust him completely, because I always felt something was wrong, and something always was. He has lied to his family saying he is paying rent and he has, to date, not done so. Yet any time they send him money to "ship" something, he has a hard time shipping it because he manages to spend the money. I wonder on what? It sure isn't on paying any bills in our household. He is clearly too immature to be married, or the logical, in your face, obvious answer: He USED ME FOR A CARD. I never wanted to say that, but a man who would go to a prostitute and completely disrespect his wedding vows, would have no qualms about having sex with a woman for a card. He said if that were true he would have left the minute he got it. Well, he didn't have a good job the minute he got it. He seems to have left pretty immediately after he got a good job though. It hasn't been two weeks since he got a better job. Not a great job, but a job I am sure will make him far more comfortable if he is renting a room and not paying back debt he wracked up. He is still going to buy the BMW as well, he lied about not getting it and using the down payment money to pay me back. He is flat out going to stick me.

So now the advice part. I'm going to divorce him as he asked for a divorce, but won't actually initiate the paperwork on his own. He walked out without leaving a forwarding address. He has a conditional green card for two years, it was issued Dec 23 and in hand in January. His first verified documented visit to a prostitute was December 2, 2008. He didn't throw around the D-word till the card was in hand. Me and a family member sponsored him to come into the country. He is here for two years at the very least, as we are not going to go to immigration and cry "he used me for a green card" unless of course there is some grounds for this. That he was using me all along is obvious. A man committed to his new marriage does not visit prostitutes when his wife willingly and lovingly satisfies him any time he desires. But a man who shuns his wife and spends money he doesn't have on prostitutes is pretty much liar and a con, not to mention someone with a problem.

The marriage is irretrievably broken at this point. I tired to talk with him, work it out, seek counseling, numerous times but he refused. It seems he went from prince charming to a monster overnight, but it was gradual. Yet he was lying the entire time.

What steps can my sister (the co sponsor) and I take to protect ourselves? Can he file to remove conditions on his own when the card expires and are we still responsible for him? What steps can we take(if any) to get taken off as sponsors if he files to remove conditions on his own? Can or should we report fraud or will it just look like a case of bitter betty to the immigration department? Are we just on the hook and naive idiots who got hoodwinked? Do we notify immigration that he is acting strangely and that he moved out of his residence in the middle of the night?

If you would like to make fun of me, tell me I told you so, it's cool. I believed him. Some things didn't feel right, which caused friction, but the bottom line here is, I am left wondering if what we had was real or not. He is VERY good. Charming. Sweet, so like able. Everyone likes him. But there was something foul in dodge from day one. Not including the dating sites he still logged into AFTER we were engaged, but he was waiting. Yes, I did snoop. There wasn't much to find, but I did find it.

What a welcome to the forum, eh?

In my honest opinion your marriage was dead from the start. You may have loved him very much but he never did. If he did he would never done this to you.. Love can blind a person to the truth so much that it makes you not want to see the facts in front of your face. You have what is the makings of a sham marriage with a monster. It is a blessing this has happened because in the end if you two stayed together he would have completely destroyed your life. I knjow you are hurting. and you feel you have lost everything but you will rebuild your life in time. Things do get better after the storm.

Now to the affidavite of support. If he has only his conditional greencard not sure so chekc but i believe you can retract your petition by writing USCIS stating the reasons. if you successfully retract it before you divorce then you would be free from all obligations to him. and he would have to go back to his country and destroy his own life.. I'm soo terribly sorry for what you are going through. But this man is a monster in the end would devour you. Move one rebuild and you will find love again.

it happens that my friend was married in american so she found out that her guy got new girl his ex wife they been together again since last yr then the guy told her that his not going to stop the visa because he want the girl in US so he will provide all the doc then this girl met a new guy so theyre plan is to get married when she get there in US as K3 so do u think the girl or guy can file divorced even she just get there bcoz she want to get married in the guy from georgia which his ex hubby is going to married again his ex wife... any help would highly appreciated.. thanks

your post is very confusing. so let me translate to see if i got this right. the petitioner is still having a relationship with his ex-wife but still wants to bring this woman over that he was currently petitioning to the usa while being with his ex wife. The petition gets married to his girlfriend then when possible gets divorced and then go back to his ex wife? is that right?

if so, then that is what you call MARRIAGE FRAUD. The relationship should be a real one not just for papers. This is totally wrong. MARRIAGE should not be violated like that. My suggestion is tell them to break up. I'm assuming the lady being petitioned knows about the arrangement with the ex wife if that is the case she is a piece of trash just like the ex wife and petitioner. IF she is NOT aware of the setup then she should know and get out ASAP find a real man who really loves her and can have a REAL life instead of this joke. have a nice dayh

Hello, all...

I´m wrting to get some help... I got in US in the end of january, and since then, my experiencce isn´t well. I am feeling very lonely and have no one that is able to understand me. Here is a short context of my relationship:

We met almost 6 years ago in my country,

Six months later, I moved in with him in California, in a tourist visa. I stayed there legal for almost 2 years, then I had to move back to my country , but we never ended up our relationship. After 2 years, we married and after that, I waited for my green card approval for a year.

While I was in my country, I lived in my bedroom, without going out and never hanging out with my friends... I juste worked, went to college and came home to wait for his call. He never lived with me. Just visited me every 2 months... it was very pleasent and we had great love to each other. my family loves him to death and his family came to visit me in my country. They do love me too. However, during the course of the Visa journey, I realized that he didnt have any interst on the visa situation even paying a lawyer to help me... and I didnt have anyone to share my steps- acomplkishments like NOA1, NOA 2... NVC... Interview.... I felt very lonely.

In this meanwhile, we had our first marriage anniversary and he forgot... he never called me. His mother called me, but he forgot.

I started getiing so frustrating because i had to deal with the pressurew by myself... my family were pretty scared wacthicn it, and one time, they asked kevin if he really wanted me... he was upset and felt insulted... one month before my interview appointment being schedule, I fell ill and I had nobody to share my deeply sadness, even with him calling me many times a day.

time went by, and I got my interview. I was all alone. And went I told him (so excited) that I have passed , He said, "OH, Okay! Good! I ´m very happy". Then, I thought I would meet him imediatly, and he setup my flight to US for 3 weeks later... he said he need time to set up some things for my arriaval: HE MOVED OUT FROM HIS OLD APARTMENT SUDDENLY AND DIDN GIVE A CHANCE TO CHOSE OUR HOME.

I was hurted, and had nobody to share. I felt terrible bad and didnt know what to do... I knew things werent right.

I landed in US, he picked me up with the coldest flower buquet ever....I was weard... I couldnt pretend every thing was fine, because it wasn´t.

The days went buy, and I tryied my best to make that workout, even, with no words from him about the real problem: there was something it wasn´t right, and both of us knew it. Then, by the time I started getting to know his new friends, things even more weard strated happening: most of them avoided talking about my husband´s past especially because they all were neighborns in the old apartment. They avoided showing me pictures, they made weard faces when by accident somebody mention any thing about him going out to parties and etc. Just to mention: I WOULD´NT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIM GOING OUT TO PARTIES IN THIS 3 YEARS WHILE I WAS GONE, SINCE HE HAD SHARE THAT WITH ME, AND NOT PRETEND HIS PAIN WAS SAME LIKE MINE. So, I eventually caught evidences he had a way funnier life then I...

Another weard thing happened also: he started getting into my e-mails and MSN and getting very jeoulous about my friends talk, and especially with my guy friends who I most of the time chat by internet because I was not social in my country at all. He became very aggressive morally, he yeal at me, he accused me of cheating him, he almost hit me..he used very bad words , things I never heard in my whole life. he humiliated me in front of my friend who was visiting me. he said painful words. and I never had done wnything bad to him. I never dated anyone, I never flirted, I never even got out of my room for 3 years.

So, he kept me humiliating me for 4 days straight.. and on the 5th, I told him I wanted to leave him. He freaked out, and trying to do everything was possible to changed my mind. Same day, He went out, acctually inveted me to go meet another friend, but there wasnt atmosphere for me, os course, and I said no, you go. He came back home, 3 am, extremely intoxicated screaming I was the love of his life. We ended up making up.

The next morning, his blackberry bipped, he didnt woke up, so I went to answer his phone, then I saw there was a woman message, I mean, over 20 txt message from him invitinmg her to go out with him same night after I said no, and 3 pictures of a girl in his file.

So, my heart was deeply hurted... I so myself in bed, shocked... frustrated, even more humiliated... This man almost hitted me after accusing me of having affairs with no eveidences of anythings, just because I have guy friends as any other person... and now, I caught pictures, chats...

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED, MY GOSH....

I dont know what to do... I have know idea how much a divorce would complicate my GREEN CARD SITUATION SINCE I AM CR1 and I am living with him only for a month...

If I divorce him, what is going to happen with me... Will I be forced to come back to my country....

I read something that for me to file for a divorce in California, I would be permanent residence for at leats 6 months.....

Please, anyone, help me.

sounds like a control freak to me and if not abusive borderline abusive. He is living a lie and doing everything he can from you learning his true self. On him cheating on you use your instinct.

You are his prisoner. I suggest break out of your prison. If he really loves you he will treat you like a wife. Good luck

My husband wants to go back to RP he is getting frustrated here mostly with the culture and stuff. So we are thinking about our options once he gets his 10 year gc or a citizenship here. He doesnt know how long its gonna take the economy here to change for the better and we dont have a lot of income here. We want to try to start a business but I only have an income here, I dont make a lot of money. I get upset that we can't do anything cuz we dont have a lot of $$ even to go on a simple vacation. My husband gets frustrated even when he applies for a simple job I think he gets insulted by how they treat him, even though I tell him not to take it personal. Sorry guys just venting thanks for listening.

??? your husband was expecting an easy ride here? he's poor in RP he's poor here. Difference is in RP he will ALWAYS be poor here at least he has the chance to make a better life for himself. IF he's willing to work for it.

I don't know if you noticed but we are in a bad recession life is gonna be tougher garenteed. Tell him instead of whining and complaining go to school or do something. Make life here better instead of complaining how bad it is.l

Me and my filipina wife are in the VERY SAME boat u are in. We are having very hard times. We have no money to do anything at all. But what did we do? we are now both in college me accounting wife nursing. We are not sitting crying how bad things are or complaining that we can't take a vacation or do what we want. So many people are in your shoes Welcome to real life

My wife has been here for 2 yrs now and she doesn't want to run away from these problems instead she just roles up here sleeves and works harder to overcome our situation.

I wish u the best of luck but it does make me alittle angry to hear people cry and complain that they can't avail themselves of all the luxuries in a time like this when sooooooo many people are suffering because of reduced pay losing their job etc.

good luck

HI to all.......I had my interview today and the consul said that all our documents are okey but they are still waiting for our medical from st. lukes. I ask her if we are approved and she told me that all docs are okey will just wait for your medical and passport. Pls... i need your opinion.. The air 21 slip was taken from me and they told me that ill pay it by COD.

If St. Lukes told us that they are the one who will pass the medical ,passport, and photos does it mean that we passed the medical? They told us that after realeasing.

Sounds like you did pass but they are waiting for your results.. if you had a problem the consul would give you a slip basically stating "dont call us we will call you" and or say 221g adminstrative processing

Interesting so explain to us a little about the age gap and did you tell them you wanted to have kids and raise a family?

I am 30 and he is 60 yrs old. And i firmly believe, love is not being measured by the age. I know age does matter with others but it doesnt to me. i know the consul is doubting my real intention but no one can judge me except for my husband, he is the only one who knows me.

I am sorry to hear about your situation. The age gap issue CAN be a problem because "marriage of convenience" type fraud is exploding in phils. Just go to the malls and see the 65 yr old American guys with 18 or close to it yr old girls. The guys are looking for young flesh and the girls are looking for a ticket out of their poverty. Now not all age gap couples are marriage of convienience but a good portion of them are. So as the fraud worsens then those who are in a real relationship but have large age gap will continue to pay the price for other's sins. I have been to phils 5 times seen this situation all the time. Been to the embassy talked to guys who's younger girls they petitioned visa's get denied for that reason.

Some roads in life are easy. Some roads you take are hard. One you choose the road your on. You must keep going to reach your destination.

Now i know there will be people who will be riled up with my statements saying i stereotyping etc. But I seen it first hand many times also, even look at the mail order bride ads and you can see a pattern of young females in phils seeking much older guys in which the age gap at times is almost triple their age who are well off. The evidence is their to support my statements. I wish you luck. They will most likely make your life hell for it but be stronge and you should get your visa.. Just be prepared to be grilled Take care

I have been reading a few people saying how its a bad idea for the USC spouse to go to the interview?

I thought that would make it look better?

He is really hoping to come to mine and be here for it

well in my opinion. it does help generally other cases it doesnt matter. But it can be a double edged sword. If your spouse is question and for some reason gives conflicting statements for whatever reason then that could place doubt on the validity of the relationship. Thats the only thing i can think of that can be harmful...

Here is the letter that I faxed to the White House a couple of minutes ago. The fax number is: 202-456-2461, anyone can send a fax. Also, at www.whitehouse.gov/contact they have a page where you can send comments, etc (up to 5,000 characters) instead of or in addition to faxing.

It would be better if everyone did this but, I/we cannot control that. As long as I have ink in my pen I will be sending letters. Nothing ever gets changed by sitting back and complaining. If you want change then take up your pen and write, fax, email everyone you can think of. Again, change will not occur without effort....

Please, for everyone's sake - take some time and make the effort. Even if it does not help you, maybe the person two months from now may benefit....

Mr. President:

As a law-abiding US citizen, I, along with my fellow members of visajourney.com, request your assistance with our USCIS petitions. At present, the time frame for reviewing cases is nine months or longer. Despite published announcements to the contrary, many of us have been separated from our spouses and children (on whose behalf we filed I-130 and I-129F petitions) for a painful amount of time, time which cannot be recovered. After following the guidelines posted on the USCIS website and paying all applicable fees, we are waiting in suspense for an approval (the Notice of Action 2 – NOA2), and this is the source of our dilemma—an inordinate amount of waiting time and no clear explanations for delays.

I am viewing the visajourney.com website, which tracks actual dates for K-3 visas, and am I see that the California Service Center is approving K-3 visa requests from December 2008. The Vermont Service Center is approving K-3 visa requests from August 2008. Why such a glaring discrepancy? Why aren't priorities shifted to balance this out? Why aren't we all on a level playing field?

Why is the California Service Center approving K-3 visa requests within a two month period and the Vermont Service Center is approving K-3 visas requests in a seven to nine month period? If my application was at the California Service Center instead of the Vermont Service Center, my wife would be on her way to getting her K-3 visa and one huge step closer to being with her family in the USA.

Why are K-1 visas being approved for foreign finance(e)'s at a faster rate than K-3 visas for foreign spouses? It is absurd that finance(e)'s are approved faster than foreign spouses.

Why are foreign worker's visas approved at a faster rate than foreign spouses? With unemployment already over seven percent, and climbing towards ten or eleven percent, why aren't the priorities shifted from approving foreign workers to approving spouses. Who is responsible for determining the processing priorities?

Why, after three months, isn't my I-129F viewable on line? When I call USCIS I have been told that "it takes a couple of weeks" to "you do not need to worry about it". THREE MONTHS - Ridiculous!!

This entire system is broken! Why are foreign spouses being punished? More importantly, why are law-abiding US citizens being punished?

Why is there no oversight? Why aren't questions being asked and explanation demanded? Why isn't the management team at USCIS held accountable for these glaring discrepancies. Why isn't the L.I.F.E. Act being enforced?

These are all questions that been asked of our legislators. They get, and then forward, non-answers or no answers to our questions. While we, the applicants for visas, must sit back and take whatever it is they want to send us. No one listens; no one cares; no one is our advocate…

And you expect obama to help you? I'm sorry the only way you are gonna recieve any relief is if your honey is an illegal alien and just wait for the amnesty. Then you will get all the releif you seek.. But since you are honest tough you are gonna have to be satisfied with being scammed.

legal immigrants and citizens rights and concerns are always undercut because we stand silent. The illegals seem to be making the noise and their interest groups bribe the hell out of our politicians and look they get all the attention

Also, what would help your cause is to send lots of $$$ to your local politician. Then you will see mountains move. Obama takes visa master card and american express. any "donation" above 10,000,000.00 will recieve extra specail service.

Thank you Visajourney for helping me an my husband navigate through getting a K1 visa and doing AOS. Where is the Post Icon of a broken heart? Now my marital ship is taking on some serious water. I think we might sink.

I am not a housewife type. I am not happy having life revolve around food - that is, cooking, and cleaning up after the cooking and the eating. And cleaning. His idea of clean is not mine. My idea of cleaning is keeping everything sanitary enough that ants, flys, cockroaches, and other bugs, plus mold or things like salmonella, that none of these things are encouraged to live with us. This causes conflict. I don't know how much I can change before it drives me crazy or at least makes me into someone I do not want to be. There are things in life to do and experience and unless the domestic activities are personally fulfilling to the person doing them, for ME it seems like a waste of time.

There are bedroom issues too. He won't listen to me when I try to describe how a bad day or being yelled at effects my interest in any action happening in the bedroom. I can't say too much more before it would be indecent of me. I let him "have me" too many times when I didn't want to. Now the culminating act is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I tried to describe this too him so we could work it out. Maybe there is a communication issue. His english is good enough for most days, but maybe not good enough for this? He won't brush his teeth and they look bad. I know my breathe is not good either, but trying to not smell his when we are intimate - plus not wanting to breathe into his nose - makes for a tense scenario for me. Which is part of my tension at that time.

He doesn't like my sister. They had some issues. She certainly has her problems, but he insists on describing them to her in glaring terms trying to make me not like her as much, or maybe just to make me see who she really is. And he says he doesn't want her to think he is keeping me from talking to her. He thinks I only defend her, but that I don't defend him when she says something not so nice about him. I know I need to be cautious with how I say things to her or it will cause her to get the wrong idea (she feels the whole world is against her sometimes - and given her past I can understand somewhat why) and make the whole situation escalate out of control. He does not want to see that I am trying to do that. They are both strong willed.

He does not treat my dog very well. She is my dog and I should have say over how she is treated. She is shy, easily spooked. She seems to react that way more in response to men. He likes to chase her and some dogs see that as play (today he did that and did something so she yipped a couple times - he said that he was trying to teach her to act like a real dog), but she shakes and her tail tucks and if he raises her hand she cowers down. I see things that alarm me. It's starting to get abusive and I don't want her to live her remaining time shaking and being chased. I fear she might slip running away down the steps. She is getting old and be already slips sometimes without being chased. I start to feel that this is a bad situation for her and I need to get her out of it. That makes me wonder if maybe it's bad for me too. Or maybe I've just been reading too much about animals mirroring us - and sometimes showing us what our emotions are telling us even if we don't see it so clearly.

I make many tiny mistakes rather often and he does not want to hear "I'm sorry." I feel he over reacts and gets more irritated than the situation warrants. I noticed my body language feels like I'm trying to make him feel like he has been punishing enough and please to stop because I can't take much more. I used to cry. When I became hysterical he would finally stop and go all nice. Once I would calm down he would go, "I didn't want you to be this upset. But...." Now I just feel doowwwwwn. My heart feels heavy.

He puts me down with words. And of course he's "just" trying to point out areas where I need work. He says I only make excuses. I've heard of breaking someone down to build them back up, but... when will he build me back up?

He threatens divorce. He talks about going to other girls if I don't change.

He says I'm only thinking about myself, that I am not thinking about his feelings. He gets mad and I get verrrry sad. You know that kind of sad where you don't feel like you have energy to stand up, and you might notice you stomach feels empty, but you don't really care? When I'm like that, I don't know how to see his feelings. All I see is anger, and it does not feel justified. He said I always have an excuse, "tell me what it will be tomorrow so I'll know early." The idea of jumping up to make him food makes me feel like I would be reacting out of fear of his reaction. That makes me feel like I am about to act like a door mat. After the last two days, I'm always waiting for something to happen accidentally to set him off again. Is that a way to live? Fearing what the other person will do if you don't have dinner ready on time?

There are other things too. I'm trying to keep it to the ones that hurt or concern me the most. Did I say he started snapping pens and has started throwing things when he feels mad? He says in his culture if the wife was like I am, the husband would hit her.

I get compared to women from his country.

And in some way I feel like it's my fault. I'm sure in some way there is something I could have done to stop this from getting so bad. I know there are some cultural differences - although occassionally I try to show him that, but he says that's not cultural, that it's a problem in me. Or he agrees and talks about how it is a disease with Americans. The way he says it, I start to be offended. Sometimes he isn't quite serious, but I have always had some trouble knowing if he was joking. I know he changed a lot of things when he came here. I don't know how much more I can change. And I don't know if I want to be the person I would have to become if I changed certain things.

There is this widening gulf between us. I didn't want it to be this way. I don't know how to fix it. If it can be fixed. Or if it is too much for me. I don't know how to cater to him without losing myself. Will catering to him make him listen to how I feel? I know it would be bad to bring a child into this, so getting pregnant is out.

He is smart. He can figure people out very quickly. He learns quickly too, and his memory is much better than mine. He does not understand that he has an advantage in these areas. He trusts his ideas about people. But sometimes he is wrong or does not have the right info, coming from a different cultural background. He does not distinguish between the two. Whatever, it makes me second guess myself, from all the things he tells me about me. In the areas he is correct about, it's good to know, but the way he says it to me is not tactful. Which of these things is he right about, and which ones are flat out WRONG?

I know he is not beating me or anything like that. I don't know if he would or not. With the pen breaking and the knocking things over, increasingly foul language, the talk about what he would do I was from his country, it makes me wonder. He says things in anger and does not censor himself, but it makes me consider if he might one day do something. My first husband was rather a wimp and even though I imagined he might do something, I never really had the feeling that he would. With this man, I do not know.

How long do I sit through this? I rack my mind trying to think of what I could say or do, but I am not savvy or street smart. Everything I say is wrong or makes things worse. He pushes me verbally for answers. Sometimes the question is a loaded question, and many times I do not know how to answer. For example, the question should not be if the man is justified in cheating because his wife would not "sleep" with him, the question should be, "why does she not want to sleep with him." "Sleeping" with someone, in what experience I do have, has usually been uncomfortable because I get tense. I think the only thing that would please him, is if I took a shower right now and put on feminine clothes, and when he comes up for bed, go up to him and say that I'm sorry I've been a bad wife and have not been sleeping with him, and maybe cry and go on about how wrong I was and how I will only cook things from his country from now on, and it will always be on time. It's not good to do "that" if it hurts, and I can't see living life around the kitchen. That is sooooo not me. Do I have to do that to make this work out?

Come on VJers, I really need some support right now. He is all edges right now and I'm already treading one. What are my options?

I'm so mentally and emotionally drained.

What you are describing is MARRIAGE its living with his and YOUR bad habits its getting to know each other and learning how to live with each other. You want a fairy tale marriage that works your way the problem that is not how real life works. You are gonna have to learn to comprimise on issues give and take he will t oo I suggest marriage counseling

Also, your setting up for your marriage to fail. You won't be satisfied till it does. Because you are scared and find it difficult to adjust. You know what he's not perfect and neither are you stop holding him to YOUR standards. No man can be made to live like that.

If you can't make this marriage work when you have problems with everyday life in a marriage IMAGINE what your next marriage will be? Just one more failure. So look at yourself look at your marriage and see what YOU can do to change all the problems in your self to make the marriage work. Don't focus so much on your husband. Because change starts with you first.

Marriage is hard work blood sweat and tears.. It's time you cut your teeth on it. god bless and be stronge.

Hi everybody.. my husband and i will be separating pretty soon, because he wants to be with his mom, we are now in CA, and his mom is in HI.. i am in my conditional residency here in US upto Sept. 2010.. what would i do? i don't wanna come with him going back to HI because me and his mom cannot go along to each other.. my husband is a mama's boy, he is very dependent to his mom.. i just came here with good faith for our marriage not for anything else.. i sacrificed everything i have in my home, like my very good job in a government just to come here to marry him.. i didn't know that he is a big mama's boy that cannot do anything without his mom.. i am worried maybe he will neglect his obligation and responsiblity to me as his wife and for my residency status.. what is the best thing to do? he did not listen to anybody's advice except to his mom.. please help me.. he has no permanent job since i came here.. he cannot stay in one job in a long period of time.. he always quits after a month having a job.. we don't even have any documents that would prove that we are joint like bills, insurance, etc.. we open a bank account but he refused to deposit his paycheck in our accounts, instead he deposited his paycheck in his account joint with mom.. is this would be fair for me? is this right? please i need help! thank u!

you married a boy not a man. If you remove conditions while not living together you will definitly be denied.. I never promote divorce but in this case it is best to leave. Find yourself a man who will love you and that means putting his share into the relationship Imagine you doing 100% of the work how long do you think that kind of marriage will last? it takes two and this boy still has the umbilicle cord to his mama. Wait till he grows up then maybe it can work. Sounds like he has no interest in taking on the responsabilites of a husband at all. I do hope he will get a wake up call in his life. You deserve better than to be treated like that. I wish you the best

As most of you know, I got here in the US on December 2008 on a K1 visa. Me and my fiance got married on January 25, 2009. Unfortunately or fortunately I got pregnant and now I on my way to 3rd month. In some ways I say unfortunately because I am having a hard time getting sick and my husband doesn't understand that. I learned some things I don't like about him that I never knew before we got married. Now, I wanna back out because it seems like I am not happy with him anymore because of his attitude and I have to swallow my pride most of the time. Is there anyway for me to stay in the US if our marriage doesn't work out? If there's none I guess I would still love to go back to the Philippines. At least there I have my family who could take care of me while I am carrying this baby. To those who have a child I know that you can sympathize with me. It's not easy to deal with pregnancy sickness and I need my husband to be supporting me and understanding me and help me on this but this doesn't seem to be the situation right now. Now, I don't know what to do. Please help.... thanks....

That is what you call MARRIAGE. In courting you get to see what you want or think a person is. In Marriage you see what a person TRULY is. I got a question the frustations that you are feeling. Don't you think your husband feels the same way about you? Don't you think he is having hard times just as you? Remember marriage isn't about just you its bout both of you.

Girl, I have been dating my wife from 2002 to 2005, In 2005 I married her. from 2002 - 2007 we were happy no probs basically. then 2007 came she arrived in USA our marriage went rocky fighting all the time. She said what you said. "I don't understand her" and many other things.. We went through hell because we had in our heads of each other what we thought of each other but when it came to the time that we had to do the hard work of being married our Preconceptions of each other were shattered and we discovered all the things we couldn't know about each other being apart. Such as "bad habits" i'm sure you hide all your bad habits from your husband when you were apart. and he hid his from you. Personal traits you hid those too and he hid his too because naturally everyone wants to put on their best look to impress each other.

What I learned is Marriage is 90% hard work and 10% romance. Its about learning about each other. As long as he loves you and you love him then all your problems can be overcome. I would suggest you two talk that is the key to making your marriage work is talking. Try marriage counseling. You two are newly weds. Marriage isn't something you are born it is something your gonna have to learn you will have to cut your teeth on it and swallow alot of pride on. Turn the other cheek often. There weill be lots of tears. Hurtful words not meant will be said. But there will be passion and love and happiness and reward on the otherside as long as you have love.

Question. If you divorce you think that is gonna be the end of your problems? you think all the issues will just disappear? Running from your problems will not solve them. But they will follow you. It is better to solve them now while your marriage is still whole because even though you divorce your problems will be with you.. Your child will still have a dad. You will still have to work with your husband for your baby Running from your problems is the easiest thing to do at first but too often it's the hardest thing to live with. I am divorced and I have a child with my ex been divorced 9 yrs now I have to see and talk to my ex every week to see my son to know how he's in school. Me getting divorced didn't solve my problems or issues it just added more problems I had to deal with in the end I had to deal with my problems too bad i didn't deal with them when i was still married. That is my regret in my life.

I know your pain. But there is hope. You two just got to communicate your feelings and issues Your marriage sounds like it just hit an obstacle or a "bump in the road" just need to know how to get over them. I wish you luck and God bless you I been in your shoes many times know how it feels. we are still together so that tells you that you can do it too.

We love each other but apparently, I get on her nerves too much. I am the sponsor and really don't want to mess up her opportunity to study here and help out her family. Any ideas on how to make this work? If I am unhappy because she is upset all the time, is it worth four years of sticking it out.

Do I give her time to say her fairwells to class mates or give her like 2 days to pack and be on her way?

Should I get her a ticket and then let her know when she gets home that it is one way? hehe a bit mean eh? I just don't want a week of moping or arguing while she waits for her plane.

Are there ways to seperate and / or possibly let her live abroad and get this done without too much pain.

Mind you I still love her and wish she was the one but she said see has no intimate feelings for me and I should not be so attached to her and we can just live as roomates (while I pay for everything and reform her mother's home and pay for her daughters school and housing).

that last statment smells of mairriage fraud. It's called in immigration terms "marriage of convenience" She wants you only for the benefits when you are no longer needed she WILL leave you.. You may love her but it seems she doesn't love you except for finiancial and immigration gain. I hope thats not true but open your eyes and look at your situation objectively and ask yourself what it is.

You deserved to be loved and she told you what she feels and wants the ball is in your court now I wish you the best of Luck and I wish the very best for you

Am I the only person honest who tries not to jump the system?

I was reading the forum about adjustment of status and I found out that many people take advange of the VWP!

I have been several times in the US to visit my boyfriend with the Visa Waiver Program but it never came in my mind to cheat the system getting married and adjusting my status there.

I am suffering now being away from my love but I know this is the right way to do things. I just started my journey and the day I will be again with my love is very far!

As a citizen of a country partecipating at the VWP I am upset for all the people who need a visa to go to the State and us....lucky people...we jump the system. Maybe I should say that I am stupid because I had the opportunity to stay in the US with my love and instead I chose the honest way....

I understand your frustrations. You have the character and moral standing to do the right thing. But not everyone here is blessed with those qualities.

Murphy's Law Given a chance people will abuse every priviledge given to them till it is taken away from everyone. That sums up how people do to the immigration system. Sad but true sad but true.

We very carefully prepared all items for CR1 visa application.

Planned FedEx for pickup.

Driver refused to come upstairs (high rise apartment) to pickup package.

Called me on phone to say that and then hung up on me.

I frantically grab package containing I-130 and all else for the CR1 application and head downstairs.

Driver then has attitude because I do not have an Airbill filled out.

Driver gets more attitudinal when I do not have FedEx labeled package.

She gets package from truck then says "ok its good".

I ask her to please attach the Airbill before she leaves with my package.

She says I can have the package back if I want it.

I request her to return my package.

She refused to give me the package , instead, retreating into her van and closing door.

She opened door a little to tell me to "step away from the van". Then closes door again.

She then affixed a clear window to package and placed Airbill inside.

I waved at her (as I could not get package back) and she drove off.

Today when I tracked package it is mis-delivered to wrong facility.

When I ask customer service guy on phone why. I find out the driver (apparently intentionally) entered a different postal code. (The codes could not have been mistakenly entered by anyone not involved with heavy drug use.)

I am in fear for the integrity of the visa application and have FedEx to re-direct the package back to me.

This whole thing sounds too strange to be true but it all occurred in the presence of my apartment manager.

I can only hope that a different driver, and not a friend of the evil driver returns my package to me in a complete and secure form.

So now I sit waiting to see if I can recover any documents from the application. If the driver opened it then I now have to deal with filing a criminal case against her also.

I cannot believe that I have ever been so angry in my life.

Thanks for letting me vent.

John

Fedex and UPS can suck sometimes but I will tell you the preferred way of sending petitions to USCIS it's what the lawyers use. its registered mail by usps . Reason it is the most secure and surest way for your petition to arrive to it's destination because that shipment its accompanied with a escort at all times if it is lost the escort is fired.... And it has to be signed for.. Fedex is cool but things do go wrong. and when they do USCIS will not care if their is a deadline like certain RFE's

Only problem with registered mail is it's slower in transit times due to special handling procedures.

here is an excerpt of its benefits

Registered mail provides a secure method of mailing. The envelope travels separately from other mail, in a special locked container. Each postal employee handling the item signs for it. At the recipient's post office, a receipt is obtained from the recipient and kept at that post office; a copy of the receipt may be returned to the sender.

In general, registered mail is appropriate when the contents of the envelope have some real monetary value (e.g.: cash, jewelry, stock certificates). It is also appropriate when the contents must be protected because they are sensitive (e.g., personnel or medical records, a list of credit cards with their account numbers).

It is not recomended to use FEDEX ups or regular USPS delivery methods due to if they make a mistake USCIS will hold YOU accountable with the consequences even though it was the carrier's fault. Good luck.