R&S13

I believe its 90 days since the NOA because that's the date they received your forms.

Unless you get a RFE if you get one then everything gets paused... But you didn't mention any RFE so you can count from NOA

For the DMV they will ask for EAD, SSCard and passport, we went this month before I had the green card and that's all they needed from me to be able to get my permit. I live in Georgia sometimes different states may have different rules, I will attach a picture of the paper they gave me for non U.S. citizens getting a license

You've been a great help! Thanks so much... so 90 from NOA which I got on 11/25... Keeping my fingers crossed! Thanks again

Hiiii now you just have to be patient wait for everything.

To be able to work you will need your EAD approved and it will arrive by mail to you. Usually takes around 90 days sometimes less sometimes a bit more.... And since you came with a K-1 you may have an interview for your green card or you may get a letter that says you have an interview waiver, that means no interview and the green card takes a bit longer.

Once your husband has his EAD he can go to the DMV and get a driver's license in case he needs it and also work.

Heyy - thanks for replying! So it takes 90 days for the EAD? 90 days from filing or 90 days from the fingerprinting? I want him to get his driver's license and when he went to the DMV they said they couldn't accept because of the invalid paperwork so I am assuming once he gets his EAD he will be able to get a driver's license and begin working?

Hello everyone - kinda freaking out here so any responses would be appreciated a great deal. My husband came to the US on a K1 visa in October and we got married in November. He had his fingerprinting done on December 18th and since then it's been a halt... I haven't heard anything and not sure what to expect next. I obviously filed for his AOS and work permit in November which is why he was called in for fingerprinting in December. My question is, what now? When can he begin to legally work here?? How long does it take to the receive the work permit while we are awaiting his Green Card? Also, is this something we just receive in the mail?? Please help me out guys because I am going insane here just waiting for I don't know what??

Thanks

the instructions state that you should receive the EAD 60-90 days, but it normally boils down the the center really, I think you are allowed to contact them when it reaches 75 days and haven;t heard anything from them. I wish you the best of luck with your application.

Thanks for your response Mayfield - By any chance do you have a phone number of where I can reach them?

Did you apply for EAD and AP in your husband's paperwork? If so, you'll receive your work authorization probably pretty soon.

Yes, the AOS is for the green card. This could take 6 months or more, so that's why people apply for EAD and AP so they can work/leave the country.

Thanks for your response nitsirk - yes i applied for an EAD in my husband's paperwork... Just awaiting on that now - any ideas of how soon is soon? Desperately waiting and don't know what the next step is. Like I stated, he went for his bio-metrics on 12/18 and now we are just waiting for i don't what.. Are you telling me that once we get the EAD he is eligible to leave the country as well? I know he is eligible to work... Also, is an EAD a card or letter or something we should be receiving in the mail?

Hello All! So my Fiance (now Husband) was granted his K1 Visa and made his entry into the US on 10/18. Soon after we got married and applied for his AOS paperwork. He went for his fingerprinting on 12/18; however, we are still awaiting his papers. Can someone please tell me how long does it usually take to get the papers so he can begin working here legally? Also, once he receives his papers is he eligible to Travel out of the US?

Sounds funny, but what exactly did we apply for? His Green card? Your responses are appreciated.

Thanks!

While some people may not have had issues, as the person below iterated, others have. If someone wants to take that risk, they're welcome to jump that chasm. I, however, would personally advise against it. Better safe than sorry.

Thank you for sharing this raven52. This was exactly what I was trying to explain. My husband had no issue getting a SSN after our marriage, but I see posts every day of people who do have the issues, both men and women; with and without a name change.

Good luck OP.

Thanks a bunch! So my fiance went today with my brother and they let him apply for a SSN with no problem - said he would receive it in the mail within two weeks... So there ya go =)

Thanks guys!

you're welcome! Glad to help.

sorry - another follow up question... Do I need to go to the social security office with my fiancé for him to apply or can a relative take him? I ask this because I work full time and is close to impossible for me to leave from work early. Please let me know.

thank you!

No, if you try to go after your marriage and he's changing his last name, he won't be in the system under that name, and it's much more of a headache to get it done in his married name; plus then you risk a denial.

Their systems are set up to work with the SAVE database, which the I-94 is hooked into. If you apply for a SSN under another name that is not on his I-94 you'll likely get turned away or risk a denial.

Best bet is to get it now to avoid a potential headache later. 2 trips is better than the 5-6 some users had to take when they waited until after marriage. Even if he's not changing his last name, the SSA agents tend to get a short circuit when you get married on a K1 visa, and you still risk getting turned away and multiple trips, not to mention an incorrectly filed application which would in turn result in a denial.

Best to get it now when it's more straight forward. Don't want to complicate it for the poor lil' SSA agents.

I'm glad you answered what if he isn't changing his name - which he isn't LOL - ok so I will send him there tomorrow and continue marrying him on Saturday. Again, thank you so much!!

Yup! There should be no issue. Like I mentioned, if they give you a hard time, show them the paper I linked, if they still insist, then in return insist to speak with a supervisor. Many SSA agents seem to be clueless in regards to immigration and try to make up their own rules.

Thanks so much for your help. Another question - do you think I should even bother to have him apply for the SSN prior to marriage or do it after to avoid going back to the office two times?

1. Apply for his SSN before you get married, ASAP, actually; with the I-94 going electronic there is no need to wait anymore.
2. Take a copy of his I-94, his passport, and a print out of this page, which lists all the visas and the SSN eligibility, and write down his A#.
3. It depends on each SSA office. Ours took 45 minutes... others took hours. Expect it to take about 2-3 hours.

If they try to tell you he is not eligible for a SSN, show them that printout I linked, if they claim they cannot find him in the system, have them look him up by A#.

If they insist he's not eligible, insist to speak with a supervisor.

If you apply within 2 weeks of when his I-94 expires you'll have to wait until his EAD arrives. If he is changing his last name, you'll want to apply before your marriage, but in general it's best to apply before your marriage anyways, as it seems to short circuit some of the SSA agents when a K1 visa holder gets married. They seem to be under the impression that a K1 visa holder, magically loses their K1 visa status once they're married.

Once you've applied expect it to take 4-6 weeks to show up at your door.

So it's ok if he applies for his ssn tomorrow and we get married on saturday, correct?

Hello Everyone - Any responses would be greatly appreciated!

So my Fiance arrived in the US two weeks ago and I will be marrying him this upcoming Saturday the 8th of Nov. I have read many different posts regarding SSN and how to go about obtaining it for him. Can someone please tell me if he should apply for his social security number BEFORE we get married this Saturday or AFTER? I obviously cannot start with the paperwork until we make it official... I heard that if I apply for his SSN AFTER then it will take a while to get his social security card once he receives his EAD.

If he should apply before, what documentation should he take? and how long will it take for him to receive his SSN? Please help me out guys since Saturday is only a few days away.... By the way, I reside in New Jersey.

thanks so much in advance!

Thank you guys!!!

Hello all - thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my post. Just an update - after going through an extremely difficult time for a week, I sat down with him one evening after work and told him exactly what was bothering me and he did the same. I explained how I felt smothered and needed my space and he respected my perspective of things. Long story short, things are a million times better than what they were before. By nature I am an independent woman and always have been - I am just thankful to God that things are beginning to work out. I don't feel repulsed by him trying to get intimate with me, or feel uncomfortable with him being around my family, etc. Things are looking up - It wasn't easy for me to make this adjustment... and I know it was difficult for him too. Fortunately, God has blessed me with the patience and understanding that I needed so badly.

Hopefully my post can help out anyone else who may be in the same predicament.

A marriage is always about compromise - but it isn't only you doing the compromising. Your partner is as well. Both of you 'give' to the relationship because you care enough about the other to want them to be happy. It works both ways. There will be times and concerns that are not negotiable for both of you. Those are the times when the one 'gives' and the other 'take'. Ideally, both of you will be more often 'giving' to the other so that when those times occur that you can't find a compromise that works, you are able to agree to disagree and accept that this area needs some sort of other solution. Compromising doesn't mean you are constantly unhappy and putting your partner's desires ahead of your own. Compromise means a give and take from both sides and finding the 'best' win/win solution that you can live with.

For the OP, I too think it would be useful for you to see a counselor of some sort. I think he/she could help you gain an understanding of your specific fears and finds ways to disarm them or at least develop techniques that allow you to control them rather they control you. The two of you may also wish to see a marriage counselor together in addition to your individual counselor as marriage is a big change. A marriage counselor may be able to help you discover coping mechanisms that will help you find those changes easier to accept. You may even find ways to create your own routines together that, as the relationship grows older, will provide their own sort of 'safe environment'.

Good luck to you.

Thank you so much for this post At times I just feel like marriage isn't for everyone.. I made a mistake, thats how I genuinely feel, but I am willing to give it a try

OP, as others have commented, I don't think you're ready for marriage right now because you won't/can't let this guy into your life. It is truly heartbreaking for him, after giving up nearly everything to be with you.

You know you need to make a decision. You have a little bit of time. But there is still a deadline, unfortunately.

Practically speaking, I think your fiance needs to find ways to get out of the house every day, even if it's to sit in the local library, park, or community centre. Both you and he will then feel that he is less reliant on you and you'll feel less claustrophobic about his presence.

Thank you so much for that response and advice. It is taken into consideration.

Marriage is compromise and sacrifice. Going into it thinking less is a recipe for disaster.

but what about your own happiness? if you're constantly trying to please the other partner, what ever happens to your own desires?

I think it would be naive to believe you must be in love to have a successful marriage. Being in love is not always permanent.

then marriage is nothing but a compromise. is that any way to live?

OP,

I (among others) appreciate your candor; it was a good thread post.

Question:

Do you love him?

and/or

Are you in love with him?

There's a difference albeit subtle.

Thank you Torete - I love him, not in love with him. Can you grow to love someone?

I agree. This is an extremely difficult time for you. You have been open and honest. Often I look at these situations from what I would do....but we all need to remember we are all individuals and we all react differently to situations.

There is no right answer to cover all situations. All you can do is your best. Good luck and what ever you decide to do....do it with honesty and integrity.

Thanks so much. I appreciate that.

Was this an arranged marriage? Cause anything short of that, everyone else on here should be irate with you. This is very difficult for us all and some people worthy of it don't end up getting to be together.

You need to apologize to a ton of people starting with the guy who GAVE UP CITIZENSHIP to his native land for YOU! YOU, the obviously self absurd brat that you are. You are the type of person who makes it harder for the rest of us.

Like I said before, if you were forced into this I apologise. Anything short of that means you totally suck.

Sleep tight,

Real people

Was this an arranged marriage? Cause anything short of that, everyone else on here should be irate with you. This is very difficult for us all and some people worthy of it don't end up getting to be together.

You need to apologize to a ton of people starting with the guy who GAVE UP CITIZENSHIP to his native land for YOU! YOU, the obviously self absurd brat that you are. You are the type of person who makes it harder for the rest of us.

Like I said before, if you were forced into this I apologise. Anything short of that means you totally suck.

Sleep tight,

Real people

calling me a brat without even knowing me is uncalled for - and for the rest of your post - i won't even bother to respond. Just know that not everyone is created equally - we all react differently and have different ways of dealing with things. i posted my story online because it's my way of reaching out for help.. by calling me a "self absurd brat" doesn't really do me any good. we are all entitled to our opinions, but attacking their character truly doesn't help the situation at all. take care

At first I thought it was that you were like me and just very into having your own space. However, it seems that you haven't quite accepted the intimacy that comes with dating and marriage? I can tell you that for the first several of weeks that my husband and I lived together, you couldn't have separated us.

So, perhaps you are struggling with intimacy? How is it going on that front?

it really is about my own space more than anything else. i am closing up to him that's why there is no intimacy now. i went to India last month to attend his interview and intimacy wasn't an issue then.. or even before that, etc.. but now, i won't even let him come near me. yeah, the occasional hug and kiss is mandatory in a way, but other than that i don't want him around. i know it sounds freaking awful, but my heart won't let up. i wish i could accept and move on because i know intimacy isn't EVERYTHING in a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's not an important part of feeling close with each other.

I agree. Talk is cheap. You need to take action. I believe you feel he is perfect for you....yet you do not love him. You cannot force yourself to love someone.

You need to decide to get married or not. Dont drag this out. It sounds like you love your family...but not him.

i do love him though.. change isn't easy for me. i'm really trying here.

Sounds like you are NOT mentally ready for marriage, but you didn't discover that until you guys are actually living together.

As for us, we love to be together as much as we can, so it's not the marriage per se,

but just your mindset at the time.

I think it would be good to have a frank talk with him.

You can fully explain your feelings, and also allow him to fully express his feelings.

Happy and successful marriage always requires more than just the physical/emotional love.

Maturity, sacrifice, and understanding are also required.

It's quiet OK to have different opinions, as we human can't often even agree with ourselves.

Rather than arguing about differences, try to respect each other's feelings,

and find ways compromise with the mindset that you are only going to get 50% your way

and give him 50% leeway.

I don't think your situation is totally strange, but it's definitely won't be healthy to keep it that way for a long time.

If necessary, seek marriage counseling or talk to other adults that you respect for advice.

Also, once he gets his driver's license, work permit, and a job, things will improve naturally

as he will be quite occupied with his work, and you will only interact for few hours at least on weeknights.

I think it can be solved with some effort...good luck.

thank you for your feedback. Yes it's a two way street. and i will try to put in my 50% - i believe you are correct in saying once he gets his driver's license, work permit and a job, things will improve naturally... i am praying that's the case!

He becomes your family. Your parents raised you, and they are your blood, but they went through the same thing they dedicated themselves to each other and raised your siblings and you.

They sound very supportive of him, and he is supportive of you. You have a fantastic support structure and there is a lot of love going around, with the exception of you to your fiancé.

He will become a member of your wider family and it will become the new natural. That is, if you move forward and marry.

I am a few years younger than you but our big similarity is we come from close families. I adore my parents. My childhood bedroom remains the way I left it in high school. They haven't repurposed it and every time I go back home to them I have my nice big bed, my desk the way I like it, et cetera. But in four years of a relationship with my wife, if I go back home and she's not there, it feels different. Like part of me is missing. She is just as much a part of our family now. In fact, my mother keeps reminding me to update my will to include my wife so that she is taken care of if I pass away.

It's a natural part of life to expand the family and add another member. Eventually you may discuss children, and the cycle will continue.

I would encourage you to talk to him, about this situation and other major points (kids in the future, will you always live in the U.S., et cetera). He seems open and caring, and there are so many relationship horrer stories on VisaJourney. Yet your guy has been looking after you this while time.

He has a lot more to lose in this situation than you. He left his home behind to be with you. If he goes back unmarried, it may be humiliating, and he will have to re-establish severed ties. I don't know much about the cultural but I know in some places a failed marriage or engagement reduces your dateability, so to say. If you get cold feet, you simply kick him out and nothing changes for you.

I would caution you to think of this more holistically, understand what he is going through to be with you, and finally know that change is constant.

i truly do have a very good support system. the person i need the most support from is actually my fiance and i got lucky in that aspect too. Once i got home from work yesterday, he sat me down on the couch and had a conversation with me. he explained to me that he didn't want me to change anything about myself or my routine - that he supports me no matter what.. he also said that he would wait however long it takes for me to feel comfortable having him around - how he understands that i am freaking out because i now have someone new in my space, etc. i began feeling a little comfortable after he had that conversation with me... so afterwards him and i went to my parents for dinner. once we left, i didn't feel too bad having to leave with him - i guess that was progress! i didn't panic or feel like he was trying to take me away from them... any way, last night when we got into bed he tried to get close to me. i pulled away and then he asks me "baby can i hug u"... and that's all it took - i closed up again and was unhappy.. my immediate reaction was NO so i didn't let him. this morning when i woke up, i was back at square one again. he came into my bedroom this morning and asked me "whats wrong sweetie" and i went off - i told him how i hate that he tried to hug me and how i need my space and how everything he said last night was BS because he is doing the complete opposite.. he was so taken a back and was almost scared - i felt so bad but i couldn't help but react that way. he started apologizing and started telling me how he understands and he is apologetic and will never try again - he said he would wait on me, etc.. he says "i know you love me, and i know u won't ever leave me, etc"... i cut him off and said I WOULD LEAVE U IF I HAVE TO. I WON'T DIE WITHOUT YOU. i know he felt bad and now as i am typing this, i can only imagine what he is going through.. but i can't be fake. i don't want to be fake. so yeah... that's what happened in the past 12 hours...

i know he has a lot more to lose than me, thats why i am not acting on impulse and trying to give it time. Culturally my dad would probably die of shame if i left my fiance. i dont know man.. i can't live for others - i have to live for myself. Thanks for telling me that it's natural to expand - i know you are absolutely, 100% correct; however, i don't know how to convince my heart that :crying: