Chuckles

I like Detroit too. Never had a problem. They always ask me, "When is your lady coming?" Since every time I cross over she s the reason for my trip! Good luck with the new wife!

Isn't the OP a woman?

My wife's I-130 and child's I-130 has been approved and forwarded to NVC. I am little bit confused.

Should I complete two separate I-184 for wife and child or just only one for both?

You do one for both.

Congrats

I taught my wife to drive. We started in a huge parking lot and went REAL SLOW. Don't try and push her, and don't let her out of the parking lots until she can really drive! That is my advice.

Go at night when no one is around in one of the larger employers in the area, or shopping mall. Security may harass you, but whatever, just go home and come back the next night when a more relaxed security guard is around.

It took about a month in the parking lots before we moved to the streets. Don't do any yelling, just be calm and relaxed as you can be. She was ready for the test in about 2 months. She aced the written but had to take the practical 4 times. Each time she did not pass it was 'the end of the world' for her, but anyway... on the fourth try she got nearly 100 percent. Each time she failed she had a female instructor, she had a male instructor the time she passed. Don't know what that means, draw your own conclusions...

Congratulations! It looks like I missed lots of people getting approved for visas, or other things, so let this serve as a congratulations to all of you!

Ummmm..... yah.

these are funny too... no, I did not take these pictures.

Nice !!!

I'll just add to that another picture of a 'hot' Russian woman!

I agree with the quality over quantity thing for sure! But with the problems your wife is having, you need to expand. And also you are at that age, slim, where I found myself finding older people "aren't that bad" and shed my drinking buddies for friends that where interested in more then how much trouble we could get into on a friday night.

Anyway, I was the one who kinda dropped the downer about how the RW/AM couples we met here in Portland kinda sucked. Let me say that in some cases, both were aware that they were using each other, and they were fine with it. Not our kinda people, but it is their life, they can do what they want. Also, I don't see us as materalistic people, and lots of the RW/AM we ran into were. But there were a few that we found that we really related to and have very good relationships with, so it is worth keeping out there and meeting people (RW/AM) !!

In the about 2 and a half years I have read this forum, I would say the ratio of people "I don't like" or "scammers" to real, good, honest type people, that might get along with, is about 1 in 10, and the ratio I met in real life is about 8 in 10. Sure, people can be alot different then their online persona when you meet them in person, but maybe the 'bad' folks just don't hang out, or frequent this forum. Or maybe I am just sucking up to you guys nah!

Oh... and here is a picture.

Now none of this pre-arrival plug-in advice helps Slim much. His wife is already here and already feels isolated whether by personal choice or outside circumstances. Nevertheless, here is my border-line malpractice relationship advice:

1. Get her english up to conversational level if it is not there already.

This was VERY important for us. Olga was good with english in my opinion, but was really shy about her accent. As cute as you may think it is, it may bother her. Also, ESL classes (upper level) are cheap and another chance to meet people.

2. She does not like your friends? If they are mostly beer drinking buddies, then it is probably time to expand your frienship circle to include more couples.

A very good point here. You are married now !!! Grow up !!

4. Once you figure out what is really going on (See Step 3), then it's time to step up and host things at your home. I can relate if this is outside your comfort level. I was a litigation attorney for 15 years. Many people find me intimidating. My basic personality can not really be described as warm and fuzzy. I am not a social guy and relating to others, especially new people, is something of a chore for me. Anyway, that is my problem and I need to get past it.

More good advice. I know its tough... the rewards can be worth it though.

5. She is bored and lonely when you are putting in the long work hours? DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. KG Sodie had some good advice here. Do more things, even very simple things, together.

6. Never underestimate the power of simple gestures to a Russian woman..... or any woman for that matter. Most Russian women like being presented with flowers. Every couple of weeks or so, buy a small $7 - $10 boquet at your local supermarket. Tell her frequently that you love her and that she is a "smoking-hot" babe. From your past posts, it sounds like she truly blossomed as a woman during the interim when you first met her and when she came to you in the USA. She got lots and lots of male attention it sounds like. Give her lots of compliments. Lay it on thick. What might seem a "bit much" to an american woman probably just barely scratches the surface with her.

All very good advice... I think we all know this, but putting it into practice is hard sometimes. Anyway, good luck with everything.

OK...... that's probably more than enough for now.

Good Luck

Buck

My experience has been similar to Slim's, although in the last few months my wife has opened up to two couple friends of ours (both Russian couples) and now almost every week we make plans to hang out with them. It took a long time before she was able to trust them enough to get close, however. During her first year here, we spent every moment (outside of work) together except for a single evening when she went to see a Broadway play with the wives of the aforementioned couple. And it wasn't easy, I think I got about 100 text messages from her while we were apart. And please don't get the impression that my wife's a wallflower. She takes the subway to work every day, doesn't hesitate to stand up for herself, has many friends in her native Moscow, and enjoys a rich professional life.

I'm not complaining as we genuinely love each other's company, but if you're a very social person accustomed to contemporary western relationships (wherein it's not odd for a woman and man to have their own exclusive social circles) I'm sure it can be exhausting.

From my experience, there are two factors at work in this phenomenon:

1) Sorry to say it, but it's not easy to find decent Russian woman/Western man couples in the US. Every female my wife met who came here on a K1 instantly grilled her about our income, cars, home, etc. They clearly had no love for their (often much) older husbands and were in it for the upscale lifestyle. Many of these women were shockingly frank about the lovers they took to fulfill their sexual needs, and my wife wanted nothing to do w/them.

Also, I'll never forget the first parties we went to at Russian homes. Always there were several unattached Russian men who hovered about, my wife explained later that they expected our marriage to be a sham and were hoping she'd be looking for a relationship on the side. I'm sure most of you who've gotten as far as the K1 stage know that there will be plenty of American people who will be very skeptical about your relationship when she arrives. Be prepared for local Russians to share the same skepticism, only they won't be sympathetic to you.

2) Your own friends may accept her instantly but more likely they'll be skeptical about her and decide to wait and see. While my friends weren't cold to her, they were obviously waiting to see if she genuinely loved me before warming up.

Anyway, my advice would be to abandon your expectations for her in regards to friends, never pressure her and be prepared to abandon any friends who don't accept her.

My experiences followed this somewhat closely. Most Russian woman/Western man couples where as he described. Which, I suppose, doesn't sound good since that is the situation everyone here is in. I like to think you guys are ok... but from experience most where not geniune (married for the green card), and yes, more interested in your cars and what you have. We did sift through and meet a few good ones though !!!

I never when to any 'fancy Russian' parties, and I do not live anything remotely considered an upscale lifestyle, so I didn't meet the Russin men wandering around looking for a little from these women. Sounds interesting though!!

Probably good advice not pressure her and to be prepared to abandon friends that don't accept her. Fortunatly, I only had to do that in one situation. Just keep getting out there and meet people. Eventually it happens.

You sure are open with your messages, slim. That is nice for people to see and learn about 'Russians in America'. We have some similar 'problems', but me and my wife are just a tad bit older, and I think you are right, it makes a lot of difference. I am not rich, and we both work, but she understands that part. Her quality of life was pretty good in Russia too, I suppose. Decent job, savings in the bank, owned an apartment etc.

The things that didn't work out for us were the food and the bills. She eats almost anything now, but trying to find food 'just like' in Russia was actually a big deal for the first year. You can't take a Russian woman and give her a hamburger and expect her to grin and eat it. I couldn't even give her a nice Chicken vinagrette and have her eat it. It was a big pain in the a$$, but she acclimated eventually. After that, it was her understanding the bills. I am not rich, but I have a decent enough job. So, she couldn't understand how my bills could come close to being the same as my income. That was a sticky point for us, because she is such a scrooge! (I mean saver...) It took a while for her to understand credit, and what things cost (Such as utilities and insurance) in America.

So I guess if you can learn anything from me, look for some good Russian stores or restaraunts in advance, and explain all your finances in fine detail first.

Olga's mom is coming for a visit in summer. I browsed around a little but do not see a very good guide or hints for getting the visa. I guess I have a few questions.

Do I send a packet with documents that prove I can support her while she is here to Moscow? Do I need proof of citizenship/marriage/permanent residency from me or my wife to send? Am I supposed to send a seperate invitation letter to the embassy? I see some conflicting information about this.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

HAHAHA... good post.

I don't have time to really go over it (at work). Of course, you really don't understand Satellite, so I'll let him speak for himself, if he wants.

But other then that, it would be a good wake up call to most people in other forums, but I think most people in here have been married a while, or are well into their relationship. They already understand what you say (for the most part). Maybe you mis-interpret what people are trying to convey here. Yes, that guy who wrote to post about crying over the diamond ring DID know that it was about getting married, and not about diamonds. Almost all of us have been to Russia (or we wouldn't be in this forum) and know excatly how much jewelry women wear in Russia, and what kinds.

And I do walk alone at night in my city, which you will be coming to soon

I brought a child from Russia too. You will be amazed how fast they can adjust. And, quite possibly, you may be amazed how much longer it takes adults to adjust.

I concur. Mac compatibilty and software availability are things of the past. I used to hate apples etc. I'm not one of those apple/mac nuts either, but you got to admit when things have changed. I have a vested interest in PC's, but to friends I do not necessarily recommend them.

My wife likes to make sure I make my payments on time. I actually try to hide the monthly bills That being said, she is very good with money. You would think she was Jewish or something. (ok I didn't say that!!! I'm waiting for the PC police now...)

I can sum up the night I tried to teach my wife pool, in the bar, in one phrase I repeated over and over...

"NO HIT THE WHITE BALL !!"

You live and you learn, I guess. I am not sure why you thought a Russian woman was going to be a domestic goddess for you, slim. If you were rich, I'm sure your wife would be fine hiring a maid and then hanging out in the house during the day, then after going out at night with your money (maybe that is what SHE thought she signed up for :) ). Since by all accounts, you are not rich, you do what you have to do, as does she.

So, if you get married again, work on that bank account first! I think that is the lesson !!!!

Slim, I don't know If I have related to any post in the Russian forum more then this one. However, I didn't have any other expectation after my wife started working in the US. I had no delusions about her being "Russian" and that somehow "trumped" her womenly instincts. She works and brings home a paycheck just like me.

Yah, I ###### and moan about the housework I have to do, but I do it. I married my wife for a reason, so I will sacrifice some of my mascaline dignity for her. I don't think it would be different for any other woman from any country.

Now, as far as the other failed marriages mentioned here, I think it was because you really noticed these 'extra' chores that you did because of other reasons. I could speculate what those reasons where, but I think you get the idea. Anyway I am sure (or at least hope) you will be happy in your marriages, and not notice that you are still doing lots of the same things that you did when you were with your old "American wives"

Yep, I've heard this one more then a few times. It doesn't matter what nationality the restaurant is, it is always "stupid American food"...

I don't know, my wife enjoys the few times we go out no matter where it is to.

My wife needs more training then yours!

I like this thread, and wish I had better pictures to contribute. But I am not a good photographer, and I don't have anything worth uploading. I have some photos with a story behind them... but that is about it.

Perhaps though, someone can tell me what this is. We took this photo in Moscow near Red Square, close to the WW2 memorial (with the eternal flame thingy). It looks like an old wall or something. Anyone actually know what it is? I didn't know, my wife didn't know, and the people we were with didn't know.

"I not like this $30 dinner and I will not be eat this foo-blat. I want go home."

Wow, slim what kind of restaurants did she eat at back in Russia? My wife had been to a restaurant just a few times in her life prior to coming to the US. You must have spoiled her!

Anyway, the best response to that it, no more restaurants, we'll eat at home from now on.

Yep, I've heard this one more then a few times. It doesn't matter what nationality the restaraunt is, it is always "stupid American food"...

Find a civil surgeon in your area who will not charge you for another pshyical, that you do not need. Find one that will look at your papers, sign them, and seal them in an envelope (assuming she needs no more shots).

In case you didn't get the memo (and USCIS likes to keep it quiet, so many probably don't know it), K-1's are not required to have another medical exam done if their consular medical examination occurred less than 1 year prior the date of filing Form I-485 for adjustment of status.

*I did get the memo, in fact, that is excatly as I said. "find a civil surgeon who will not charge you for another physical you do not need" ... hence, most civil surgeons are the ones who didn't get the memo, or, they ignore it and tryy to a$$ rape gulible people into paying 300 bucks for something they do not need. That is the reason I gave the advice. I thought it was good advice, but that is subjective.

I've also read two schools of thought on the SSN. Some say, get it right away. Others say, if the bride is taking the USC's last name, wait until after the wedding so you don't have to change the new SSN card. I'm curious to hear more discussion on this... (local marriage laws here where I am say a passport is good for ID, so no SSN required for that)

Marriage has absolutely nothing to do with eligibility to apply for the SSN.

True, you will have to go back to SSA to change the name on the SSN card after married, but you might want to wait on doing that until you know what name USCIS chooses to put on the EAD and, later, the permanent resident card before you do that. SSN name match verification is becoming a big deal these days. Once you change it, you cannot change it back.

True, most states will issue a marriage license without an SSN, but most require you to give it on the application if you have one to become part of the marriage record and for indexing purposes (and for child support enforcement purposes, etc.).

If you don't apply for the SSN early, you may be forced to live without it several months when you want to have it.

My advice, take every benefit available to you as soon as you are eligible. That is usually in your best interest, isn't it? Unless you like to have the government give you (or more particularly, your wife) a hard time for neglecting to do basic things.

It depends what state you live in. ** Oh nm, I see you contridicted yourself here. You do see that it does have something to do with getting married depending on the state you live in.

Find a civil surgeon in your area who will not charge you for another pshyical, that you do not need. Find one that will look at your papers, sign them, and seal them in an envelope (assuming she needs no more shots).

If he is charging you more then say 30 bucks, find another.

You need an EAD for her to work. You have to apply for it, and it takes time. Really, check the example forms and guides here on this site. They are very helpful and all you really need.