Nero

I really hope you are a troll and are just saying these things to get people angry and starting a "hot topic" thread.
If not - MAN UP PRINCESS. You married a woman. You made a baby with this woman. Whether you like it or not you are responsible. If it's your choice divorce her, but don't think that you can't "get around" having to pay child and / or spousal support just because you have some hair-brained scheme to dump her in Argentina. She's not a pair of shoes you bought at Walmart that didn't fit right. No matter how angry you are at her you can't have her removed from the country for revenge. Infact threatening to do so constitutes abuse and she could leave you today and file for her 10 year on her own if you've been threatening to get her removed from the country.
If she has admitted she married you for the GC and you can PROVE it somehow - maybe something can be done - I really don't know, but I beleive the burden of proving it would be on you. I would stop and think as well - is this really what you want, or are you just hurt and angry and trying to find a way to hurt her as well.

I really hope you are a troll and are just saying these things to get people angry and starting a "hot topic" thread.
If not - MAN UP PRINCESS. You married a woman. You made a baby with this woman. Whether you like it or not you are responsible. If it's your choice divorce her, but don't think that you can't "get around" having to pay child and / or spousal support just because you have some hair-brained scheme to dump her in Argentina. She's not a pair of shoes you bought at Walmart that didn't fit right. No matter how angry you are at her you can't have her removed from the country for revenge. Infact threatening to do so constitutes abuse and she could leave you today and file for her 10 year on her own if you've been threatening to get her removed from the country.
If she has admitted she married you for the GC and you can PROVE it somehow - maybe something can be done - I really don't know, but I beleive the burden of proving it would be on you. I would stop and think as well - is this really what you want, or are you just hurt and angry and trying to find a way to hurt her as well.

Yes, if you and your husband divorce you should be able to remove conditions yourself with sufficient proof that you entered into the marriage in good faith. I don't know about the cost, but I'm sure it will be about the same as removing conditions with him around. If you intend to stay in the US I don't know if I would go back to my country before you get your conditions removed. What I WOULD do, is make sure you're employed and save up for the financial costs. I think an annulment through the church is free (I'm not 100% sure on that one), but according to the US government you will have to be divorced. I would pay with my own money for sure. Do you have children? If not, then you are in a good place to get a job, move in with another woman (as a roomate for cheaper rent) and save up for your legal fees. In the meantime you can just be separated from you husband. You don't have to file a divorce until you are ready to take the next step. Both the divorce and the removal of conditions will cost you money, so be ready to save your pennies if that's the road you choose. FIRST, however, I would at least try to work it out with your husband. If for no other reason then because you need to prove you entered into the marriage in good faith. If you can prove that you asked him to go into marriage counseling with you, and tried to work out your difference before getting a divorce / annulment it will prove you were in the marriage for all the right reasons. Good Luck to you!

If you entered into the marriage in good faith, and can prove it, then you can remove conditions on your own. I would DEFINITELY try to work it out with my husband, and maybe even put it to him straight "look, I think the words/ actions of your mom and aunt are interfering with our marriage. Do you want to be married to me or not because you aren't acting like a husband? When your husband married the marriage should have become priority in his life. It's important to always love and respect your parents / family, but no man should treat his wife badly to please his mother (and no wife should expect her husband to treat his mother badly)
Seriously, I havn't read all the comments, I'm sure someone has said it before, but if you came with the right intensions, it's good enough for the US government and you should be able to remove conditions on your own. You'll have to be able to prove that you didn't marry your husband just for a greencard, but if you can show that he's keeping you repressed, and when you came here it was for a true and loving marriage you can remove the conditionson your own.

first of all, the OP has not yet confirmed whether or not she originally entered with intent to marry and stay. As much as those who had to wait out the K1 process often think it's unfair to be able to AOS from a tourist visa within the US and avoid being apart from your loved one, there are occasions when a foreigner enters the country under a non-immigrant status - be it tourist, student, work, or VWP - without an intent to immigrate, but ends up marrying a USC and adjusting status. That is perfectly legal.
If the OP did in fact mean that he invited her to MOVE here permanently, and she used a tourist visa to come here, then yes - she should not try to AOS from that status. I don't think it's necessary to go on a rant quite yet about illegalities and visa fraud, when to me it seems pretty clear the OP is not aware of the regulations and requirements and is here to ask for advice to be able to choose the right way to continue.
jonDutch - if your wife entered the US using a tourist visa, with the intent to move here, marry you and stay here with you permamently, then she cannot adjust her status with the I-485. Using a non-immigrant visa to enter the US with the preconceived intent to immigrate here is not allowed.
What you can do is have her return to Brazil BEFORE her I-94 expires, and take the CR-1 route and apply for a spousal visa. It will take a while (9 months, give or take), but it will be cheaper, safer, and she won't have any periods of not being able to work once she gets to the US.
Read the guides here on VJ, take a look at the forms and instructions, and talk with your wife. Though AOS might seem like a tempting choise, if you planned for her to stay here permanently before she came, I personally don't think it is a risk worth taking.
Boa sorte para você e para a sua esposa!
Addition: Personally I see no reason to scare them with these "you have to get a lawyer" statements. If she did not have intent to stay, it's a perfectly straight forward AOS. If she did, she can return to Brazil before her I-94 expires and go for the CR-1.

Threatening to withhold your immigration documents or interfere with your immigration status is recognized as a form of abuse by USCIS. It sounds like they are happy that he married a house girl for them and her simply doesn't care about you as much as he should.
You need to decide if you want to remain in the US or return to the Philippines.
If you want to return to the Philippines then get out of the house now. Go to a woman's shelter and they will help you contact the Philippine Consulate. The Consulate should be able to help you get back home. Once home you can file for Annulment.
If you want to remain in the US still get out of the house now and go to a woman's shelter. They will help you file for divorce and get your life on track without him. Catholic Charities can even help you with the Removal of Conditions.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REMAIN IN A MARRIAGE THAT DOESN'T TREAT YOU LIKE A PERSON.

It only seems like alot of money until your beloved is by your side. Once she's there, and you're married / planning your life together.... then the money doesn't feel like it matters at all. If you need to cut back expenses a little it's really not that big of a deal. Just plan a budget and stick to it. A few months living off of ramen noodles and chicken nuggets is definitly worth it, but for most of us it's not that dire (other wise we wouldn't have qualified to sponser our fiances / fiancees over)

Sometimes people need to vent. An internet forum is an easy place to blow off some steam and maybe get some support from people going through the same thing. A post here and there might not change the situation, but it might make someone feel better about it. No big deal in my book.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

I would not wait for the packet 3 letter to come. If you have all the required documents ready she should just send them in. You'll get your interview date faster. Your interview date will arrive in 1 - 2 weeks and will be within 1 - 4 weeks of the date on your packet 4 letter. Keep an eye out for it though because sometimes things from the London Embassy have been getting caught up in the mail and important letters are not received. Some VJers have found out their interview is 3-5 days from the day the received their packet 4 letter. Also note: You'll need to pay the visa fee up front. I believe this is a reletivly new thing, but the $350 has to be paid in advance. You will be emailed a receipt that must be printed, signed, and brought to the interview. I hope that helps. Nick-Nich has an AWSOME document I strongly suggest you read if you havn't yet. Good Luck!

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

It sounds like emotions were really high for both you and your fiance. If I were you, I would take a step back and look at the situation now that you've had a chance to cool off. Perhaps you can be a little more objective. It's hard when you're in the heat of high emotions, however, now that you've had some time to cool off and calm down (and she has too) maybe you can have a calm discussion about it. I think that if you look back on it you can see where there are instances where she was out of line, but there were also instances where you were out of line. Maybe you should have been a little more understanding about Valentine's day. Maybe she should shouldn't have just cut you off without a word. Etc. This is what happens in life and in relationships. We're all human. God made us imperfect, but He also made us to learn from our mistakes. My suggestion would be to take a moment to try to put yourself in her shoes. Think of how she may have felt. Perhaps she was nervous when the NOA2 came through (after all marriage is a big step....especially a marriage that will take her away from her parents who she is obviously very close to), and then when you said "let's hold off on the visa" what started as an uneasy nervousness ballooned into a nervous meltdown (similar to what you experienced shortly after). After all, perhaps she was picturing herself living with you in a new country, married, far from the family she is close to, and then you decide "never mind" and threaten to send her back to India. That would take an argument that was already sad (because it's never nice to fight with your beloved), and turn it into something scary. After all if she feels you will easily divorce her that must be VERY scary, especially for a girl who would then be deported. Also, imagine her sadness and frustration, she TRIED to send you a gift, and even though it was no fault of her own, her gift didn't go through, and then you, the man who loves her, not only doesn't understand and appreciate the effort, you become angry at her. Perhaps this was all very scary and sad for her, and that's what lead to her nervous meltdown. You, upon your break up with her, must have gone through a very similar range of sadness, anger, fear etc. Perhaps, if the two of you are able to have nice adult conversation about it, then you can help her understand how YOU felt, and she can help you understand how she felt, and the two of you could actually develop a STRONGER bond from this.
There is the chance, however, that she's just not ready. She may just not be ready for a relationship this serious. She may not be ready to leave her parents. This is a possibility. If this is what happens then you have two options. 1) Stick with her, let your relationship grow, and wait for her to be ready. 2) Decide it's best to move on, and know what to look out for and avoid in choosing a new partner, and also realize what things you can do to make a relationship strong. It takes two people putting in equal effort to have a good solid relationship, and even then it's not always easy and it's certainly almost never perfect. When we make mistakes, and treated wrong, as much as it sucks, sometimes can be learning experiences that make the next relationship stronger.
Take Care, and Good Luck. It seems like this may be a case where two people with good hearts let emotions get high and it lead to alot of hurt. I hope you can both heal.