Do I have to support my ex-husband AND our child if we get divorced?

[Caladan 19]

Diaddie -

What reasoning or precedent was used to come to these brilliant conclusions?

The reasoning goes something like this if I understand the case correctly: the USC signed an agreement with the US government, and the court is trying to decide whether that agreement can result in a cash payment directly to the sponsored alien. There's nothing in the original agreement about it's being contingent on the alien finding or attempting to find work. Nothing at all; I can't get out of the I-864 by saying C. is a lazy ####### who should get a job.

So, if the court is extending the reasoning to a direct agreement between the USC and the alien, then they should rightly conclude that the right of the alien to seek damages is *not* contingent on proof of seeking employment, any more than the right of the government to collect from the USC would be contingent on proving the alien had been seeking employment and unable to find it. In other words, the USC can't use as a defense for paying up to the government that the alien hadn't found work, so the USC can't use it as a defense against a claim by the alien, either.

Now, this does not entail that the alien automatically gets poverty level support. The case was just about whether the alien had the right to seek damages even if she hadn't been seeking employment. The conclusion of the case is that yes, she has the right to seek support, and that she isn't working or seeking working can't obviate that right, but that doesn't entail a specific monetary amount. The judge can say, e.g., the I-864 means you have the right to seek support from your former spouse, but the fact that you are not working when you could be means you only get (say) half of that amount.

[floridalaurie 0]

Yup, I did it. I married a guy from Jordan who seemed like a great guy while I was posted in Iraq and he was working there too. We have a child he finally got here to see once the little guy was 14 months old, but the marriage is NOT working out and he seems somewhat reluctant to get and keep a job.

I'm feeling a bit used here. His brother got sponsored to come here a year before him so I KNOW that he knows the "ins-and-outs" of the process including filing to be separate from me in a divorce, but proving the marriage was bona-fide (having a baby). He was a responsible worker while I knew him in Iraq and was even helping to support his family in Jordan, but he's been a YEAR without a job (6 months in Jordan waiting for his appt at the Embassy) and now 6 months here.

I NOW fully comprehend the depth of the I-864, but my God, I am having trouble making ends meet now! I cannot possibly support our baby AND him!!! Do I have any rights as the US Citizen in this situation whatsoever???

Oh yea, and BTW, if he manages to get out of the country and back to Jordan with our little guy, I have NO custodial rights in the Middle East as a Christian mother. Jordan does NOT participate in the Hague Convention for the return of abducted children. So, I have this additional fun little thing to worry about if he decides to "go home" as a result of the divorce...

Women beware! Marrying for love can put you in some STUPID and SCARY situations...

Take a look at Tito's post on "Successful withdrawl of I 864". I can not remember the exact situation but I know he was able to withdraw the affidavit of support.

Withdrawal is possible, either:

1. prior to adjudication of the adjustment application (which is clearly not the case here)

2. a compelling report of fraud by the USC petitioner

Since he has his green card, but is in conditional status since we were not married for two years when he got here, all that happens for him next is applying to remove the conditional status at the end of being here two years, right? What happens to him if I end up declaring bankruptcy (entirely possible between his ability to keep spending money though he isn't supplying any and supporting our son) and can no longer meet the demands of the I-864??? Would he have to find a new sponsor (his brother has been here for over a year already).

No, I don't think so! My feeling is that bankruptcy would not alleviate you from a court order to pay a sum of money to a government agency as a result of the responsibility you are obliged to under the terms of the Affidavit of Support. In bankruptcy proceedings, an applicant can reduce certain debt ~ dischargeable debts. Some debt is not dischargeable. You'd have to speak with a bankruptcy attorney to double check, but I would sense that the US government would be considered "secured" and/or "first priority" debt.

Meeting the demands of the I-864 is not a choice, it's a requirement for you.

Well, if I end up having to declare bankruptcy, I will most likely lose my job and won't have the money to support him anyway and my mother certainly isn't going to let him move into her home if I have to move back to her house via losing my house...

Don't get ahead of yourself! I can't imagine how stressful and scary this must be for you, but imagining losing your house and your job (bankruptcy isn't fun, but it doesn't require being fired) isn't going to help.

mermaid and rjo have covered most of it in their posts, but I wanted to point out a couple things that often get overlooked:

1) The I-864 only binds you for reimbursing the government for certain types of cash-equivalent benefits. The FAQs on this site get into more detail, but it does not encompass everything we think of as 'welfare.'

2) There have been a couple of court cases that have concluded that the USC can be on the hook for poverty-level equivalent support, and that the LPR doesn't have to show an attempt to get work. (There are good reasons for this, but it does sound counterintuitive.) But that would require a court order, and for a judge to decide that the precedent in the earlier case applied to you. It is still a legitimate worry, but you can't conclude from a couple of court cases that he himself has a slam-dunk case for support.

An attorney might be helpful here.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I do have an attorney and he is about to get served for the divorce and I am on pins and needles because I have no idea how he will react. He runs the gamut from "trying to make things work out" to telling me about Middle East news stories where a man got permission from his father in law to burn his wife to death because he thought she cheated on him...he needed to share this news story with me, why???

The attorney does not think those two cases will apply here because we have a minor child to consider, but it is up to the family law judge ultimately. BTW, for those saying to go ahead and get passports - the attorney and the State Dept both say NO WAY! The only way he can take our son out of the country through normal channels is with a passport and BOTH parents have to sign for it. The State Dept already has my son's information flagged, so if he tries to get him one by forging my name, he is in big trouble.

My hope is that he will be amicable, especially if my attorney is willing to help him get another sponsor or whatever to stay here on his own, but not tied to me and I will continue to take care of our son since supporting him does not seem to be of much concern to my ex. Strange to me considering the way I saw parents with their children in Amman, Jordan - I would never have guessed he would behave this way once here.

[Caladan 19]

I am relatively certain that there is no way to switch sponsors or renege on the I-864 once AOS has been approved. But let us know how it turns out, whether there is a way to withdraw sponsorship (which I doubt) or a way to mitigate its secondary effects.

Take care of yourself and your baby.