Wife raped

[pushbrk 13,965]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

I am NOT being a wise-a$$ - is that a cultural truth?

Rape is a very traumatic experience. It's difficult for me to understand why a woman would NOT tell her husband immediately. Telling your husband you have been violated isn't the same thing as telling everybody in the village.

If there is ANYTHING about this story that doesn't wash as culturally believable to the CO, it's not going to matter diddly-squat if the OP makes more visits or is even present for the interview. If the CO views the beneficiary as using an American citizen solely for the purpose of immigrating, the visa will be denied.

All good points. I don't see it as wise-a$$ in the least. I don't know the answer to the question but it is what it is. At this point, the couple has little choice but to do as much as they can to have and present a bona fide relationship at interview. We really don't know if this will come up at interview. I suspect it will come up at the medical but really don't know if that information will get conveyed or picked up as critical by the Consular officer.

I do think that if the Consular officer asks the questions you've asked, there is little chance of a visa. Unfortunately, that/our opinion is of little help to Dave and his wife.

[rouguewave 7]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

[rebeccajo 14]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

Neither you nor the OP need worry about what I am 'subjecting' him to. It's nothing compared to what the CO may do. My questions are designed to make you THINK about what's likely in store at the interview. It's not doing anybody any good to sit here and pat him on the head and wish him good luck. After all, he asked us what is likely to happen. We'd be doing him a disservice to be less than honest.

Consular Officers at high fraud posts are trained to look for signs of immigration fraud. That training includes questioning the visa applicant in a manner which will yield pertinent answers. If shame over a rape is a cultural norm (to the extent a woman might not tell her husband) then the CO will know this. But you can bet your bottom dollar the CO will still question the woman to see if the shame is real or not. It's their job.

If you think I'm turning up too much heat on the OP, then there's little hope for him when he really gets into the kitchen.

[rouguewave 7]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

Neither you nor the OP need worry about what I am 'subjecting' him to. It's nothing compared to what the CO may do. My questions are designed to make you THINK about what's likely in store at the interview. It's not doing anybody any good to sit here and pat him on the head and wish him good luck. After all, he asked us what is likely to happen. We'd be doing him a disservice to be less than honest.

Consular Officers at high fraud posts are trained to look for signs of immigration fraud. That training includes questioning the visa applicant in a manner which will yield pertinent answers. If shame over a rape is a cultural norm (to the extent a woman might not tell her husband) then the CO will know this. But you can bet your bottom dollar the CO will still question the woman to see if the shame is real or not. It's their job.

If you think I'm turning up too much heat on the OP, then there's little hope for him when he really gets into the kitchen.

Whether it is a "cultural" norm or not, the CO will be concerned. "Cultural norm" is not the same as "Acceptable behavior". I'd suggest that the CO bases decisions on "Acceptable behavior" (based on US Standards) rather than "Cultural Norm". IMHO there is substantial difference.

My point was if you wanted to devolve to a philisophical or cultural discussion, it might be better elsewhere. As has been pointed out repeatedly, the CO is likely to be concerned in this case. Shall we repeat that over and over?

[rebeccajo 14]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

Neither you nor the OP need worry about what I am 'subjecting' him to. It's nothing compared to what the CO may do. My questions are designed to make you THINK about what's likely in store at the interview. It's not doing anybody any good to sit here and pat him on the head and wish him good luck. After all, he asked us what is likely to happen. We'd be doing him a disservice to be less than honest.

Consular Officers at high fraud posts are trained to look for signs of immigration fraud. That training includes questioning the visa applicant in a manner which will yield pertinent answers. If shame over a rape is a cultural norm (to the extent a woman might not tell her husband) then the CO will know this. But you can bet your bottom dollar the CO will still question the woman to see if the shame is real or not. It's their job.

If you think I'm turning up too much heat on the OP, then there's little hope for him when he really gets into the kitchen.

Whether it is a "cultural" norm or not, the CO will be concerned. "Cultural norm" is not the same as "Acceptable behavior". I'd suggest that the CO bases decisions on "Acceptable behavior" (based on US Standards) rather than "Cultural Norm". IMHO there is substantial difference.

My point was if you wanted to devolve to a philisophical or cultural discussion, it might be better elsewhere. As has been pointed out repeatedly, the CO is likely to be concerned in this case. Shall we repeat that over and over?

What are you on about? CO's don't judge the behavior of visa applicants based solely upon US 'standards' - whatever THOSE might be. They absolutely take into account the cultural norms, behaviors and idiosyncracies of the people their consulate serves.

That, IMO, is VERY relevant in a discussion about whether or not a denial might occur. Some things NOT 'acceptable' by US standards might be excuseable in another country.

Edited October 2, 2007 by rebeccajo

[sunandmoon 450]

I've seen adoption mentioned a couple of times. here's a link to the Phlilppine law on adoption for anyone who might me interested:

http://www.chanrobles.com/republicactno8552.htm

[Dakine 26]

I've seen adoption mentioned a couple of times. here's a link to the Phlilppine law on adoption for anyone who might me interested:

http://www.chanrobles.com/republicactno8552.htm

Adoption is out as an alternative.

For one the child has to be an orphan.

Or the child would have to been in the legal custody of the USC for 2 years living in the Philippines

Can adopted once the child is in the US and came by a visa tho.

I did it!

Edited October 2, 2007 by Haole

[pushbrk 13,965]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

Neither you nor the OP need worry about what I am 'subjecting' him to. It's nothing compared to what the CO may do. My questions are designed to make you THINK about what's likely in store at the interview. It's not doing anybody any good to sit here and pat him on the head and wish him good luck. After all, he asked us what is likely to happen. We'd be doing him a disservice to be less than honest.

Consular Officers at high fraud posts are trained to look for signs of immigration fraud. That training includes questioning the visa applicant in a manner which will yield pertinent answers. If shame over a rape is a cultural norm (to the extent a woman might not tell her husband) then the CO will know this. But you can bet your bottom dollar the CO will still question the woman to see if the shame is real or not. It's their job.

If you think I'm turning up too much heat on the OP, then there's little hope for him when he really gets into the kitchen.

Whether it is a "cultural" norm or not, the CO will be concerned. "Cultural norm" is not the same as "Acceptable behavior". I'd suggest that the CO bases decisions on "Acceptable behavior" (based on US Standards) rather than "Cultural Norm". IMHO there is substantial difference.

My point was if you wanted to devolve to a philisophical or cultural discussion, it might be better elsewhere. As has been pointed out repeatedly, the CO is likely to be concerned in this case. Shall we repeat that over and over?

What are you on about? CO's don't judge the behavior of visa applicants based solely upon US 'standards' - whatever THOSE might be. They absolutely take into account the cultural norms, behaviors and idiosyncracies of the people their consulate serves.

That, IMO, is VERY relevant in a discussion about whether or not a denial might occur. Some things NOT 'acceptable' by US standards might be excuseable in another country.

You bet the CO's take cultural norms into account. At the same time, their training and ability to separate their own values and feelings can vary widely. I think a civil discussion on the cultural norms is appropriate here.

I tried to have a conversation about this with my wife who comes from a similar (somewhat) culture but even when we go past the part where she didn't believe the woman's story, a glaring cultural difference raised its head. In China, abortion is legal and the common remedy for all unwanted pregnancy.

As far as cultural norms, there are many variations within the US too. Many women would have done just as this woman says she did, even without a threat from the perpetrator. I wouldn't call it a US cultural norm but common just the same. Shame is a universal emotion.

[Dakine 26]

OOPs! 3 years living in the Philippines and 2 years legal and physical custody in the US unless child comes on a IR and they get automatic USC from the date on the GC

[maore 0]

I am sorry to hear about what happened to your wife. If I were in your situation I would personally do the following :

+ support my wife in reporting the crime - the animal can not roam free and do this to someone else

+ finance a trip for both of you to a place were abortion is legal

That 's my personal opinion interview or visa are really not what worry me in your situation , what I would need if I were in your situation is to rebuild my life and of my special one.

I apologise in advance if it is not what wanted to hear

[archie07 0]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

I am NOT being a wise-a$$ - is that a cultural truth?

Rape is a very traumatic experience. It's difficult for me to understand why a woman would NOT tell her husband immediately. Telling your husband you have been violated isn't the same thing as telling everybody in the village.

If there is ANYTHING about this story that doesn't wash as culturally believable to the CO, it's not going to matter diddly-squat if the OP makes more visits or is even present for the interview. If the CO views the beneficiary as using an American citizen solely for the purpose of immigrating, the visa will be denied.

There was a highly publicized rape case in Manila a year ago. Two of the reasons given for women not reporting the crime were shame and fear. There was also alot of protesting in front of the american embassy. Whether or not this would help in Daves case I don't know. IMO, without documentation I would assume a CO would consider this a case of an adultrous wife with possible intent to commit visa fraud. With this in mind, considering the fact the wife did not tell her husband of the alleged rape, what is the CO to think? I also find it hard to believe she never told her husband but if we read between the lines, there may have been reasons for that. I do feel however if there is any chance at all for this woman getting a visa it would be better for her husband to be present at the interview.

[archie07 0]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

Neither you nor the OP need worry about what I am 'subjecting' him to. It's nothing compared to what the CO may do. My questions are designed to make you THINK about what's likely in store at the interview. It's not doing anybody any good to sit here and pat him on the head and wish him good luck. After all, he asked us what is likely to happen. We'd be doing him a disservice to be less than honest.

Consular Officers at high fraud posts are trained to look for signs of immigration fraud. That training includes questioning the visa applicant in a manner which will yield pertinent answers. If shame over a rape is a cultural norm (to the extent a woman might not tell her husband) then the CO will know this. But you can bet your bottom dollar the CO will still question the woman to see if the shame is real or not. It's their job.

If you think I'm turning up too much heat on the OP, then there's little hope for him when he really gets into the kitchen.

Whether it is a "cultural" norm or not, the CO will be concerned. "Cultural norm" is not the same as "Acceptable behavior". I'd suggest that the CO bases decisions on "Acceptable behavior" (based on US Standards) rather than "Cultural Norm". IMHO there is substantial difference.

My point was if you wanted to devolve to a philisophical or cultural discussion, it might be better elsewhere. As has been pointed out repeatedly, the CO is likely to be concerned in this case. Shall we repeat that over and over?

What are you on about? CO's don't judge the behavior of visa applicants based solely upon US 'standards' - whatever THOSE might be. They absolutely take into account the cultural norms, behaviors and idiosyncracies of the people their consulate serves.

That, IMO, is VERY relevant in a discussion about whether or not a denial might occur. Some things NOT 'acceptable' by US standards might be excuseable in another country.

You bet the CO's take cultural norms into account. At the same time, their training and ability to separate their own values and feelings can vary widely. I think a civil discussion on the cultural norms is appropriate here.

I tried to have a conversation about this with my wife who comes from a similar (somewhat) culture but even when we go past the part where she didn't believe the woman's story, a glaring cultural difference raised its head. In China, abortion is legal and the common remedy for all unwanted pregnancy.

As far as cultural norms, there are many variations within the US too. Many women would have done just as this woman says she did, even without a threat from the perpetrator. I wouldn't call it a US cultural norm but common just the same. Shame is a universal emotion.

I'm having the same problem here, my filipina wife doesn't believe the wifes story either. As for the cultural aspects alot can be learned from reading the Subic Rape Case if anyone wants to google it.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Are you all trying to tell me that a woman from the Philippines would be too ashamed after a rape to disclose it to her American husband after it happened?

The answer to your question is "Maybe". But perhaps it'd be best to discuss via a seperate thread if you wanted to explore the cultural nuances to this, rather than subjecting the OP to this.

Neither you nor the OP need worry about what I am 'subjecting' him to. It's nothing compared to what the CO may do. My questions are designed to make you THINK about what's likely in store at the interview. It's not doing anybody any good to sit here and pat him on the head and wish him good luck. After all, he asked us what is likely to happen. We'd be doing him a disservice to be less than honest.

Consular Officers at high fraud posts are trained to look for signs of immigration fraud. That training includes questioning the visa applicant in a manner which will yield pertinent answers. If shame over a rape is a cultural norm (to the extent a woman might not tell her husband) then the CO will know this. But you can bet your bottom dollar the CO will still question the woman to see if the shame is real or not. It's their job.

If you think I'm turning up too much heat on the OP, then there's little hope for him when he really gets into the kitchen.

Well said.

[daveg 0]

I am sorry to hear about what happened to your wife. If I were in your situation I would personally do the following :

+ support my wife in reporting the crime - the animal can not roam free and do this to someone else

+ finance a trip for both of you to a place were abortion is legal

That 's my personal opinion interview or visa are really not what worry me in your situation , what I would need if I were in your situation is to rebuild my life and of my special one.

I apologise in advance if it is not what wanted to hear

Thanks for your input think I need to hear all views at this point.

I talked to my congress womans office today she said she can't find out how to approach the Embassy

until we decide on what to do, as for if it will affect the visa.

We were thinking of adopting now, but just seen it takes 3 years.

I just can't belive that something so bad that happened to my wife might even effect us being together forver.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Here's a link to the current rape laws in the Philippines... the death penalty can be imposed in many instances.

Anti-Rape Law of 1997

http://web.amnesty.org/library/index/engasa350012001

IMO, because she doesn't want to report the person and is considering allowing the rapist to support the child, she's going to have an extremely difficult time convincing the CO this isn't a fraudulent marriage.