Prenuptial agreement - anyone else do one?

[ding 1]

Just wondering if anyone else did a prenuptial agreement???

I found a good lawyer in Bangkok that knew a Thai lawyer who represented Lek.

The forms were duplicated in Thai, we met our attorneys in seperate areas, and had to sign our names 236 times!

For me, I just wanted the extra assurance that she couldn't be marrying me for ulterior motives ...(my stuff! ).

[Jamie76 0]

Do you have a lot to begin with? If not, a pre-nup makes absolutely no sense. A pre-nup only protects the assets you have accumulated prior to marriage. For me, I wouldn't do one. I'm not a millionaire so it's not like I would be needing to protect much...besides... I'm going in to this with complete trust in my fiancee and I think the idea of a pre-nup would hurt that feeling.

It's a personal choice, and if you feel that you need this for your own piece of mind and she is ok with it and understands completely what she is signing, then that is all that matters.

Edited August 25, 2007 by Jamie76

[ding 1]

I have a lot of equity in a home in a kind of expensive location. Also I have an annuity and pensions to protect. Other stuff is just stuff, plasma tv's, etc.

I want to prevent a huge lawyer bill from a potential battle as well.

And no, I do not trust her 100%. (just in case anyone is curoius!)

I had a prenupt with my ex and there were no problems as a result. We are best friends today.

[Fandango 1,440]

And no, I do not trust her 100%. (just in case anyone is curoius!)

Whether or not you do a prenup is aside from my comment...obviously there are many angles and differing opins.

But the above statement? Wow. I'd never marry someone whom I didn't trust 100%. Your statement made me sad.

[ding 1]

Yep, pretty sad, and totally unecessary. Stupid really. This "sweet" lady crushed this world-weary guy. Shocked me, my buddy, and his Thai wife -her best friend.

Thais lie, and money is a big societal pressure for Thai daughters. I knew it before, but thought a husband and wife relationship would transcend the urge to deceive (and get money for mom). She accepts that it aint gona happen here, and she just wants to be with me. I think I'll keep it that way.

[Jamie76 0]

Not trying to talk you out of anything, but if you don't trust her, perhaps marriage may not be the best path to travel down at this time?

[ding 1]

Not trying to talk you out of anything, but if you don't trust her, perhaps marriage may not be the best path to travel down at this time?

Thanks Jamie76, I do know what you're talking about. And I'm really not the victim type. And I'm not trying to be poly ana here... But this is what I'm trying to be about these days, however failingly:

God, make me a channel of thy peace;

that where there is hatred, I may bring love;

that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;

that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;

that where there is error, I may bring truth;

that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;

that where there is despair, I may bring hope;

that where there are shadows, I may bring light;

that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

God, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;

to understand, than to be understood;

to love, than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.

[Fandango 1,440]

Are you a 'channel of God's peace' when you say things like "Thais lie'

?

How would your wife feel about that if she heard you say it?

[ding 1]

Are you a 'channel of God's peace' when you say things like "Thais lie'

?

How would your wife feel about that if she heard you say it?

Do you understand Thais? They lie to save face, to avoid conflict, and to take the easier path. It's different from western mores, but a fact. I just didn't know it would root itself in a husband-wife relationship so deeply.

Read the book "Thailand Fever" and you will understand - I wish I had read it earlier. I read others, "Thailand, Culture Shock" etc. that deal more with general society and work, not primary relationships.

Are you marrying a Thai LisaD?

[patricks 0]

I hear you Ding....

I absolutely wouldn't marry a SE Asian (esp. VN & Thai) woman without spending a lot of time together prior, know her family very well prior, and experience some challenging relationship situations prior. That's just my opinion after living 4 plus years in VN. It's a relationship culture clash, like the book "Thailand Fever" addresses........

[RUKTHUR 0]

You said you dont trust her 100% and she shocked you....then why do you still married her???

You should explain about this prenuptial agreement to her to understand..Becuase in Thailand dont have like this. Maybe she hasn't understand clear yet. And you should ask her opinion and her feeling.

For me, I never interested want to get my fiancee assets. Even though if he is rich or poor... Because I love him for him. And even if some day we will divorce. I wont get any his assets....

Do you ever thought she will lose everything in Thailand to live in the US with you? Why she will do this.....because she loves you.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Oy.

[ding 1]

You said you dont trust her 100% and she shocked you....then why do you still married her???

You should explain about this prenuptial agreement to her to understand..Becuase in Thailand dont have like this. Maybe she hasn't understand clear yet. And you should ask her opinion and her feeling.

For me, I never interested want to get my fiancee assets. Even though if he is rich or poor... Because I love him for him. And even if some day we will divorce. I wont get any his assets....

Do you ever thought she will lose everything in Thailand to live in the US with you? Why she will do this.....because she loves you.

She fully understands about a prenupt. The fact that she will not get my assets and still wants to be with me is a big reason I decided to forgive her and retry.

She understands about the prenupt. Her Thai friend in the US explained it to her, I explained it to her, and her own attorney (not mine) explained it to her. The prenupt was in Thai and English.

She will keep her land in Thailand, which she failed to disclose to me too. She has nothing to lose and I bet you probably figured that to be the case. She will gain a man who forgives her and still will take care of her mom and the grandkids Mae Yai takes care of. Everyone makes mistakes, her life is just not so clean and pure as she pretended. Funny thing is, I sincerely wouldn't have cared about most of it, and nothing that happened before me. She does love me, I know that. And that's the biggest reason I forgave her.

I take it nobody has done a multi-lingual prenupt?

I live in Washington State and it's almost insanity to NOT have a prenupt if you have assets here!!!

[ladywhite 0]

Thais lie, and money is a big societal pressure for Thai daughters.

it sounds to me here that you are making generalization, which offends me, as a Thai woman and daughter of my parents.

it is true some people, including some Thais, lie, but talking about one ethnic group like that is inapproriate and insensitive.

your comments of Thai people in your posts below are disturbing, as well.

it is true some thai women attempt to get western boyfriends just to take advantage of them financially, but not all thai women are like that. when your wife lies to you, it doesn't mean all thai women lie.

if only you could have found yourself a good sincere honest wife, Ding. i feel sorry for you.

[ding 1]

Thais lie, and money is a big societal pressure for Thai daughters.

it sounds to me here that you are making generalization, which offends me, as a Thai woman and daughter of my parents.

it is true some people, including some Thais, lie, but talking about one ethnic group like that is inapproriate and insensitive.

your comments of Thai people in your posts below are disturbing, as well.

it is true some thai women attempt to get western boyfriends just to take advantage of them financially, but not all thai women are like that. when your wife lies to you, it doesn't mean all thai women lie.

if only you could have found yourself a good sincere honest wife, Ding. i feel sorry for you.

Of course there are exceptions, that's a given. The book "Thailand Fever" goes along with my experiences and others too. Were you raised in Isaan? What I've said is from friends who lived, worked, and married in Thailand. And from the books too. And my experience too. Not judging or intending to make blanket statements. But you are the first Thai I've talked to who hasn't aknowledged lying as a normal part of interpersonal communication there.