Wedding Registries - did anyone use them for gifts for the wedding?

[Toshtishtash 1]

I have a dilemma too..... How would you go about asking for money for wedding gifts instead? Without sounding rude...

My Dad suggested that we write the situation in the invitations and that he is sure everyone will understand.. But I feel a bit funny asking for money

He also said to put... 'As much as we love pots and pans, we really can't spend them' Don't think that's gonna cut it either!

[Leney 0]

Well if you can't ask your family for money who can you I actually was a chicken ###### and had all my guests RSVP to my mom's mobile and had my mom tell everyone when they RSVP'ed when they asked "so what do David and Jolene really need?" my mom told them "well they need money more than anything, but they also have a registry at amazon.com if you want me to email you the info." (my mom rules!) With a few exceptions of people who bought from our gift registry (which she also gave them the info to), that's what we got. It was a major help at the time!

[ajames79 0]

I have a dilemma too..... How would you go about asking for money for wedding gifts instead? Without sounding rude...

My Dad suggested that we write the situation in the invitations and that he is sure everyone will understand.. But I feel a bit funny asking for money

He also said to put... 'As much as we love pots and pans, we really can't spend them' Don't think that's gonna cut it either!

Although I would never in a million years ask for money from anyone, we did recieve a lot of cash from people on the English side and the American side. Several gift cards as well. But I think it depends on they type of family and friends you have. If they are the type that wouldn't be offended then you are okay asking. My mother and grandmother would have been mortified if we put even that we were registered some where on the invites. But we are talking about very particular ladies here.

Are you having a very casual wedding?

Well if you can't ask your family for money who can you I actually was a chicken ###### and had all my guests RSVP to my mom's mobile and had my mom tell everyone when they RSVP'ed when they asked "so what do David and Jolene really need?" my mom told them "well they need money more than anything, but they also have a registry at amazon.com if you want me to email you the info." (my mom rules!) With a few exceptions of people who bought from our gift registry (which she also gave them the info to), that's what we got. It was a major help at the time!

that's really the way to do it, divert the question to you mum!!

[John & Annie 0]

We sent a nice note saying that since we were moving countries and that all of the gifts would need to be shipped whereas if the contributed to the fund to set up our new home they could ensure that we have everything we need. It was something like that my MIL wrote it very delicately.

After the wedding we sent out a very nice letter with a picture to everyone listing everything we bought with the money. This way they all got to contribute on everything.

[Lou Lou 1]

I think the Amazon wish list is a good idea cos you're not restricted to one store and it's not a typical begging list like you see on some invites. That way people could buy you a washing machine, or just a simple CD depending on how big their pocket is.

We didn't have any guests so our prezzie worries were nil which is just what we wanted. I think if we had guests I would have been too embarrassed to receive gifts and would have asked for them to donate to something instead. But we're just a bunch of old hippies here . At our age, if we haven't already set up house with all the usual gumpf I'd be wondering what the hell we were doing up until then.

If you are already set up and just want the frills, I think lists on sites like Etsy and DaWanda are a great idea. I keep one going for the OH so he doesn't eff up when it comes to birthdays and such.

[robburnsefc 0]

Crate and Barrel, Target, Pottery Barn. All these do the 10% off deal after the wedding and allow returns. Target was great for kitchen stuff and seems to be good value. The other two are a bit more trendy and upmarket and as such the lists at them are still a bit full!

Just a thought, I did a wedding blog on blogspot. As you have UK and US relatives converging, it is good to tell them all about the local area, how to get there, where your wedding lists are, where they can stay/park/visit. We invited about 250 people and we have around 500 hits on the site.

Whatever you do dont put a red Hamilton Beach can opener on your list, as we seem to have three of those somehow - I reckon they breed asexually.

Rob

Just exploring the option of using Wedding gift registries - I would love to hear peoples opinions on this and if you did use one then with which store etc. Any ideas anyone? I know my UK friends and family will not be able to attend the wedding and I thought this may be a way if the registries have online purchasing:) I knwo Walmarts does - any other places?

Lina (UKC)

[Toshtishtash 1]

Although I would never in a million years ask for money from anyone, we did recieve a lot of cash from people on the English side and the American side. Several gift cards as well. But I think it depends on they type of family and friends you have. If they are the type that wouldn't be offended then you are okay asking. My mother and grandmother would have been mortified if we put even that we were registered some where on the invites. But we are talking about very particular ladies here.

Are you having a very casual wedding?

Well if you can't ask your family for money who can you I actually was a chicken ###### and had all my guests RSVP to my mom's mobile and had my mom tell everyone when they RSVP'ed when they asked "so what do David and Jolene really need?" my mom told them "well they need money more than anything, but they also have a registry at amazon.com if you want me to email you the info." (my mom rules!) With a few exceptions of people who bought from our gift registry (which she also gave them the info to), that's what we got. It was a major help at the time!

that's really the way to do it, divert the question to you mum!!

It is going to be quite a casual wedding, yes. The reason that we need money is because of the HUGE hike in price of the AOS forms! I suppose I could word this in the invitations and then get them sent back to my Step Mum I don't particularly like asking for money either... But it would be extremely helpful if we received it! Also, maybe people would be happier seeing their money going to a better cause? Rather than buying things that could just get stuck in a cupboard gathering dust...

Hmmm.... I will just have to word it carefully..

The Amazon thing might be a good idea too Then if there is anyone that feels embarassed about giving money, then at least they have a different option. I'm sure the majority wion't mind though. Could you please send me that info?

Thanks so much for all the info It's much appreciated.

Edited July 11, 2007 by toshtishtash

[Converse34 1]

According to all the wedding etiquette I have been reading lately (which is a lot!). You are not supposed to ask for money or even list where you are registered, either on the invitation or separately. It is all supposed to be done through the word of mouth. In my experience, gifts are to be given at the wedding shower (I know we really don't have those in the UK) and money at the wedding itself.

Please make sure you send thank you notes to anyone who has sent a gift. Even if you thank them at the wedding, you must still send a thank you. I went to several weddings in the UK and I have not once ever received a thank you note.

[Toshtishtash 1]

The wedding book that I have is all for gift lists, lol. There is a whole chapter on it.

Well, we definitely won't have time for a wedding shower... So, I can't really think of any other way of letting people know

We will definitely be sending thank you cards though.

[Converse34 1]

The wedding book that I have is all for gift lists, lol. There is a whole chapter on it.

Well, we definitely won't have time for a wedding shower... So, I can't really think of any other way of letting people know

We will definitely be sending thank you cards though.

I would think that if a note came from a close person to you on each side of the family, it might be the best option. So if you have someone send a note to your side and he has a note sent on his side, it wont seem like you guys are the one's asking, but your family is. It might be better than a note from you.

[no name 1]

According to all the wedding etiquette I have been reading lately (which is a lot!). You are not supposed to ask for money or even list where you are registered, either on the invitation or separately. It is all supposed to be done through the word of mouth. In my experience, gifts are to be given at the wedding shower (I know we really don't have those in the UK) and money at the wedding itself.

Please make sure you send thank you notes to anyone who has sent a gift. Even if you thank them at the wedding, you must still send a thank you.

It's very rude to ask for $$, esp. in America (my hubby didn't get that as it's OK in England). We said we were moving across country so gift cards are more appreciated. Americans do not like giving cash but they don't mind gift cards!

Does anyone NOT send thank yous? How rude!

[ajames79 0]

According to all the wedding etiquette I have been reading lately (which is a lot!). You are not supposed to ask for money or even list where you are registered, either on the invitation or separately. It is all supposed to be done through the word of mouth. In my experience, gifts are to be given at the wedding shower (I know we really don't have those in the UK) and money at the wedding itself.

Please make sure you send thank you notes to anyone who has sent a gift. Even if you thank them at the wedding, you must still send a thank you.

It's very rude to ask for $$, esp. in America (my hubby didn't get that as it's OK in England). We said we were moving across country so gift cards are more appreciated. Americans do not like giving cash but they don't mind gift cards!

Does anyone NOT send thank yous? How rude!

Yes there are loads of people who don't send thank you notes! Loads! However I am a little insane when it comes to thank yous and not when it comes to just wedding gifts either. I send millions of them out.

Personally...we registered. Didn't list it anywhere and just used the word of mother (ha ha mouth) option. I got nearly every item on my registry, granted it was a short list because I've lived on my own for 10 years or so and have most things. I got a few gift cards...one was a grocery card which I thought was awesome! And I got way more cash then I expected. In all of my thank you notes for the money givers...(as someone else mentioned) I mentioned exactly what the money was going to be used for. For the most part it was savings account for purchasing our house. Also we bought some new pillows and a new grill. OHH and a Kettle!~ can't forget that!

[Converse34 1]

According to all the wedding etiquette I have been reading lately (which is a lot!). You are not supposed to ask for money or even list where you are registered, either on the invitation or separately. It is all supposed to be done through the word of mouth. In my experience, gifts are to be given at the wedding shower (I know we really don't have those in the UK) and money at the wedding itself.

Please make sure you send thank you notes to anyone who has sent a gift. Even if you thank them at the wedding, you must still send a thank you.

It's very rude to ask for $$, esp. in America (my hubby didn't get that as it's OK in England). We said we were moving across country so gift cards are more appreciated. Americans do not like giving cash but they don't mind gift cards!

Does anyone NOT send thank yous? How rude!

I agree it is rude to ask for money, but I would disagree that Americans do not like giving cash. In my family and circle of friends of weddings that I have been to, EVERYONE gives cash. When my best friend got married, someone commented that she didn't have a table put aside for gifts. She said "we don't need a table, just a basket for the envelopes" and it’s true - she didn't get one gift - all cash.

[Toshtishtash 1]

It's very rude to ask for $$, esp. in America (my hubby didn't get that as it's OK in England). We said we were moving across country so gift cards are more appreciated. Americans do not like giving cash but they don't mind gift cards!

Does anyone NOT send thank yous? How rude!

I wouldn't say it is 'ok' in England, I would feel just as funny asking here as I am going to there.

I think I will just leave it off the invitations then... And people are bound to ask my Mum over here and my Dad over there, so i'm sure they can suggest something.

As I mentioned before, surely most people would rather their gifts went towards something constructive rather than being stuck in a cupboard gathering dust?

Tricky situation really I suppose

[Mary Lou 677]

When i go to a wedding, i always give cash as the gift. Now for the bridal shower thats a different story. You want to be able to check registries for things the bride and groom need.