What is wrong with the Egyptian gov't.???!!!!!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Peezey can correct me if I'm wrong but I believe the BS she's referring to is the cheering on of ppl even if the relationship/situation isn't kosher. What I mean is, ppl skirting around the fact that some of the relationships on VJ are "odd". It's very well known that, generally speaking, Mid Eastern men do not marry women 15, 20, 25 yrs older than themselves. Comparing that with older men who marry Filipinas is ridiculous. Older men marrying younger women in that and most other societies in the world is much more acceptable for many reasons. A major reason being that an older man can still get his younger wife pregnant but an older wife most likely cannot provide her younger husband with children. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, children are very important in Mid East societies. Or that knowing someone for 4 mos. is a sufficient amount of time to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Or that lack of common language and having to communicate with gestures is something "normal". Pretending that these situations won't present a problem at the consular (or even USCIS) level is BS.

Age difference is an easy target, but I see so much more when it comes to oddities, so let me be frank. I'm an Arab woman married to a much younger Arab man. But we are very similar in ethnicity and culture; we share language, a faith, and a history. I grew up in his country, and could easily live there without missing a beat. Our age difference is not nearly as culturally significant as so many other things that are important to Arab culture that I see lacking in most marriages between Arabs and non-Arabs.

What I think is odd is the high number of mixed marriages, in light of what is significant in Arab culture; for example, the love of continuity and tradition. In Arab culture, families marry families, not just the individual. It is frowned upon for Arabs to marry someone so unlike yourself. As an Arab woman, I have married two Arab men due to the preference for continuity and tradition. Granted, one was Christian, but Arab Christians and Arab Muslims have a great deal more in common than not.

So many Muslim men wanting to marry western non-Muslim women is a bit odd to me. Arabs are proud of their cultures and language; Among ourselves, it is not at all uncommon to express a thought that Arabs are superior to others. This is even a tenet of law in some Arab nations. That there are so many Arab men interested in pursuing women who don't speak Arabic or have much in common culturally is curious to me. That so many men want to leave their families when families are close knit, so very important, and the root of one's heritage is odd to me.

I don't know what the divorce rate is among Arab Muslim men married to non-Arab, non-Muslim women, but I believe it's high. All this talk late last year about Muslim husbands indulging in their wives' Christmas obsessions made me wonder ####### ? While some are looking at others whose relationships may seem odd to them, including mine, perhaps, I'm seriously wondering how long alot of folks here will stay married. Not because I want that, but because marriage, in and of itself breeds inherent problems, but mixed couplings with so many differences break all the rules and rise to a level of strife all their own.

The following comment is certainly not aimed at anyone here personally. But.... it has to be said.

In American culture, it is rather unusual to meet a person and then within the first few months of that relationship, decide to get married. In fact, most Americans tend to see serious talk about marriage during the early stages of a relationship as a major warning sign that something wasn't quite right in their partner's thinking, and would run run RUN away as fast as they could. What would you think if your sister met a guy here in the U.S. and then 2 months later she is already talking marriage ? You would say, "Slow down, sis -- it's too fast."

I don't understand why similar "moving-too-fast" behavior from a foreign man (or woman) would be considered as somehow more sincere. If you're an American women under 70 who has traveled the Middle East, you know that marriage proposals are a dime a dozen. You get them from taxi drivers, waiters, hotel workers, anyone. A lot of people are desperate to get out of there, and many will seek any oppportunity to do so. Walk into any Middle Eastern internet cafe after dark, and you will see -- it's full of young (and not so young) men, intently trolling websites and chat rooms, looking for Western women. Some of them already have a fish on the line, or several, and they work those lines every single day. Many of the younger men are unemployed, and have nothing but time on their hands. They may be working several women at once, and they are willing to marry whichever one shows up first, as long as there's a green card at the end of the rainbow. Some are quite open with their families and friends about their plan to divorce this woman as soon as they possibly can.

If you get a marriage proposal after a few days or a few weeks or even a month or two of chatting to someone on the internet, you should be smart enough to realize it's not YOU that he's fallen for. In the case of desperately poor men from countries with little or no opportunity, the attraction is either your money or your ability to get him a visa.

I am certainly not saying that everyone who meets on the internet is being scammed. But if things are moving faster than fast, there's a reason and it's probably not good.

And let's not forget the fact American women would rarely accept an American man proposing when he had no job, no money, no education, so it's quite curious they would accept this from a foreign man.

I'd count that among the oddities too. Arab men are proud and chauvinistic. For so many to accept the supremacy of a foreign, non-Arab woman connotes some desparation, imo. But, that's why I posted the article. Call it racist, it spoke to me because I see a social change that is not all for the positive and, as an Arab, it concerns me.

Edited April 24, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I agree Doodle bug completely. I think some even get islamically married and then file a K1 because there is no legally binding marriage so they can engage in relations because in some countries you cannot even stay together because of the family or societal pressures. An islamic marriage with nothing in writing should not disqualify you from being able to do the K 1 because thre is nothing in writing to be able to file a k3.

F--king paper marriages should not be confused with Islamically valid nikah marriages. If it is a valid marriage, it comes with proof. No one in a valid marriage is qualified to file for a K1.

Edited April 24, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[sarah and hicham 3]

VP anyone?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

VP anyone?

Thanks for reminding me, Sarah. Western women entering into f--king paper "marriages" as if that is oh so very normal is something that could rank as odd (right along with accepting a proposal from a poor foreign guy with no job still living at home with his parents). How many would do this with a western guy and not call it what it really is?

Edited April 24, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[sarah and hicham 3]

simma.

[Together4ever 1]

Same ole same ole.

Edited April 24, 2007 by Together4ever

[bigman 0]

i would like to state that i am happy coz i joined this site to exchange ideas , i was thiniking about that i already know my fiancee good knowing in just 4 months ....but i see when i said that many out there said that its not enough time for relationship but i would like to mentain something here , if u talking daily with someone for Hours and talking in every thing about ur life and his life also , How long time u need to tell all that??? i mean is it not enough for the honest couple to know eachother well in 4 months? i see our relation need only One thing at this moment and its ( meeting in person ),

i hope any one correct for me if i am wrong .

thanks

[mybackpages 0]

I'm an Arab woman married to a much younger Arab man.

I thought your husband was Berber.

[Aymerlu 3]

Same ole same ole.

Ditto.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I think with the advent of the internet the consulates are DELUGED with petitions and petitioners and I think thats why they stopped the marriage thing in Egypt. I think you can get married in Tunisia though... and pretty easily if you want

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Peezey can correct me if I'm wrong but I believe the BS she's referring to is the cheering on of ppl even if the relationship/situation isn't kosher. What I mean is, ppl skirting around the fact that some of the relationships on VJ are "odd". It's very well known that, generally speaking, Mid Eastern men do not marry women 15, 20, 25 yrs older than themselves. Comparing that with older men who marry Filipinas is ridiculous. Older men marrying younger women in that and most other societies in the world is much more acceptable for many reasons. A major reason being that an older man can still get his younger wife pregnant but an older wife most likely cannot provide her younger husband with children. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, children are very important in Mid East societies. Or that knowing someone for 4 mos. is a sufficient amount of time to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Or that lack of common language and having to communicate with gestures is something "normal". Pretending that these situations won't present a problem at the consular (or even USCIS) level is BS.

Age difference is an easy target, but I see so much more when it comes to oddities, so let me be frank. I'm an Arab woman married to a much younger Arab man. But we are very similar in ethnicity and culture; we share language, a faith, and a history. I grew up in his country, and could easily live there without missing a beat. Our age difference is not nearly as culturally significant as so many other things that are important to Arab culture that I see lacking in most marriages between Arabs and non-Arabs.

What I think is odd is the high number of mixed marriages, in light of what is significant in Arab culture; for example, the love of continuity and tradition. In Arab culture, families marry families, not just the individual. It is frowned upon for Arabs to marry someone so unlike yourself. As an Arab woman, I have married two Arab men due to the preference for continuity and tradition. Granted, one was Christian, but Arab Christians and Arab Muslims have a great deal more in common than not.

So many Muslim men wanting to marry western non-Muslim women is a bit odd to me. Arabs are proud of their cultures and language; Among ourselves, it is not at all uncommon to express a thought that Arabs are superior to others. This is even a tenet of law in some Arab nations. That there are so many Arab men interested in pursuing women who don't speak Arabic or have much in common culturally is curious to me. That so many men want to leave their families when families are close knit, so very important, and the root of one's heritage is odd to me.

I don't know what the divorce rate is among Arab Muslim men married to non-Arab, non-Muslim women, but I believe it's high. All this talk late last year about Muslim husbands indulging in their wives' Christmas obsessions made me wonder ####### ? While some are looking at others whose relationships may seem odd to them, including mine, perhaps, I'm seriously wondering how long alot of folks here will stay married. Not because I want that, but because marriage, in and of itself breeds inherent problems, but mixed couplings with so many differences break all the rules and rise to a level of strife all their own.

The following comment is certainly not aimed at anyone here personally. But.... it has to be said.

In American culture, it is rather unusual to meet a person and then within the first few months of that relationship, decide to get married. In fact, most Americans tend to see serious talk about marriage during the early stages of a relationship as a major warning sign that something wasn't quite right in their partner's thinking, and would run run RUN away as fast as they could. What would you think if your sister met a guy here in the U.S. and then 2 months later she is already talking marriage ? You would say, "Slow down, sis -- it's too fast."

I don't understand why similar "moving-too-fast" behavior from a foreign man (or woman) would be considered as somehow more sincere. If you're an American women under 70 who has traveled the Middle East, you know that marriage proposals are a dime a dozen. You get them from taxi drivers, waiters, hotel workers, anyone. A lot of people are desperate to get out of there, and many will seek any oppportunity to do so. Walk into any Middle Eastern internet cafe after dark, and you will see -- it's full of young (and not so young) men, intently trolling websites and chat rooms, looking for Western women. Some of them already have a fish on the line, or several, and they work those lines every single day. Many of the younger men are unemployed, and have nothing but time on their hands. They may be working several women at once, and they are willing to marry whichever one shows up first, as long as there's a green card at the end of the rainbow. Some are quite open with their families and friends about their plan to divorce this woman as soon as they possibly can.

If you get a marriage proposal after a few days or a few weeks or even a month or two of chatting to someone on the internet, you should be smart enough to realize it's not YOU that he's fallen for. In the case of desperately poor men from countries with little or no opportunity, the attraction is either your money or your ability to get him a visa.

I am certainly not saying that everyone who meets on the internet is being scammed. But if things are moving faster than fast, there's a reason and it's probably not good.

And let's not forget the fact American women would rarely accept an American man proposing when he had no job, no money, no education, so it's quite curious they would accept this from a foreign man.

I'd count that among the oddities too. Arab men are proud and chauvinistic. For so many to accept the supremacy of a foreign, non-Arab woman connotes some desparation, imo. But, that's why I posted the article. Call it racist, it spoke to me because I see a social change that is not all for the positive and, as an Arab, it concerns me.

Arab women can get used by Arab men for greencards too. Happens all the time in France with Moroccans and Algerians

I don't think being an arab makes you bullet proof from someone hurting you. All you have to do is meet Algerians and Moroccans who have sponsored people from back home to France and then talk to them.

Another thing.. with Moroccans and Algerians.. viriginity matters... age matters... so being Arab may solve some of the stuff...but not all of it...Arabs are alot more patient with westerners than they are with their own women. They give westerners the benefit of the doubt alot of times. I have seen Moroccan girls who cannot find a husband for this stupid reason or that while their passport holding countrymen marry American women, russian... seeking to go out side the arab community and the guys HAVE THEIR PAPERS

You being arab doesn't make it any less likely that you will be taken for a ride on the greencard bus.

I know plenty of "arabs" used for papers by country men and I know Americans that are truly loved by their spouses. and this whole supremacy stuff is a bunch of hogwash. Some arab men marry americans ( GUYS WHO HAVE PAPERS) because they find American women much more open minded and less MATERIALISTIC

[ya falaha! 0]

I agree, being Arab married to an Arab is no guarantee of till death to you part.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I agree, being Arab married to an Arab is no guarantee of till death to you part.

well I know several Moroccan girls with US citizenship that were used for papers by men back home.

One has a baby with one and is a hijabi and he is in the emirates with his moroccan girlfriend and doesnt want to come live here with his wife.

I know another Moroccan woman who was with a syrian who was playing her and she was used twice.. first egyptian then syrian.

And dont even get me started on the impressions that some arabs have of each other in terms of who is low class and who isnt. there are a lot of predjudices within the arab world about certain arabs from certain countries being this way or that. I don't see the arabs that I know and am friends with being that hard on the american women they know. Some of the arab men DONT WANT TO BE WITH THEIR FAMILIES.Its an individual choice.. some arabs come from highly dysfunctional families and want OUT.. You cannot make blanket statements like that GREEN EYE GIRL.... Not all arabs are the same and personalities differ from country to country with exceptions all over

I have my favorite countries as far as how I see how they look at Americans.. I have never dated one , but I have known some really cool Egyptians and Jordanians in long term happy marriages with Americans. 5 6 kids.. happy etc

Moroccan is running 50 50 .. I have seen total users and ones that were very happy with Americans

Algerians... um.. I personally know several in REAL MARRIAGES although I know some Kabilyes ( berbers) who humiliated and laughed about their american greencards.. and then some ones that are living with their girlfrinds and have kids with them

Syrians.. havent met one yet still married to the American

Palestinians... know several in real marriages

Gulf Arabs.. none still married

Tunisians... none still married

Lebanese... have met about 10 over the last 6 years and not a single one still married

Turkish.. none still married

So from what I have seen... the real marriages that I have encountered over a 6 year period have been

MOROCCAN

ALGERIAN

EGYPTIAN

JORDANIAN

PALESTINIAN

Lebanese, Syrian,Tunisian, Gulf arabs, Turkish..... All the ones that I have known and we are talking in the 10s to 20s of people I have met and known usually go back home and get one of their own. I am still waiting to see a turk still married. I think in 6 years I have met one.

I have seen it with several Moroccan and Algerian ( dumping the western wife) but I have also seen some real stuff

Don't tell me that being arab makes you immune from fraud.. Not happening.. I think being arab makes you under MORE scrutiny from his family. Cause they think you should have known better and been better acting.. Your mistakes count more

[Aymerlu 3]

Peezey can correct me if I'm wrong but I believe the BS she's referring to is the cheering on of ppl even if the relationship/situation isn't kosher. What I mean is, ppl skirting around the fact that some of the relationships on VJ are "odd". It's very well known that, generally speaking, Mid Eastern men do not marry women 15, 20, 25 yrs older than themselves. Comparing that with older men who marry Filipinas is ridiculous. Older men marrying younger women in that and most other societies in the world is much more acceptable for many reasons. A major reason being that an older man can still get his younger wife pregnant but an older wife most likely cannot provide her younger husband with children. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, children are very important in Mid East societies. Or that knowing someone for 4 mos. is a sufficient amount of time to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Or that lack of common language and having to communicate with gestures is something "normal". Pretending that these situations won't present a problem at the consular (or even USCIS) level is BS.

Age difference is an easy target, but I see so much more when it comes to oddities, so let me be frank. I'm an Arab woman married to a much younger Arab man. But we are very similar in ethnicity and culture; we share language, a faith, and a history. I grew up in his country, and could easily live there without missing a beat. Our age difference is not nearly as culturally significant as so many other things that are important to Arab culture that I see lacking in most marriages between Arabs and non-Arabs.

What I think is odd is the high number of mixed marriages, in light of what is significant in Arab culture; for example, the love of continuity and tradition. In Arab culture, families marry families, not just the individual. It is frowned upon for Arabs to marry someone so unlike yourself. As an Arab woman, I have married two Arab men due to the preference for continuity and tradition. Granted, one was Christian, but Arab Christians and Arab Muslims have a great deal more in common than not.

So many Muslim men wanting to marry western non-Muslim women is a bit odd to me. Arabs are proud of their cultures and language; Among ourselves, it is not at all uncommon to express a thought that Arabs are superior to others. This is even a tenet of law in some Arab nations. That there are so many Arab men interested in pursuing women who don't speak Arabic or have much in common culturally is curious to me. That so many men want to leave their families when families are close knit, so very important, and the root of one's heritage is odd to me.

I don't know what the divorce rate is among Arab Muslim men married to non-Arab, non-Muslim women, but I believe it's high. All this talk late last year about Muslim husbands indulging in their wives' Christmas obsessions made me wonder ####### ? While some are looking at others whose relationships may seem odd to them, including mine, perhaps, I'm seriously wondering how long alot of folks here will stay married. Not because I want that, but because marriage, in and of itself breeds inherent problems, but mixed couplings with so many differences break all the rules and rise to a level of strife all their own.

The following comment is certainly not aimed at anyone here personally. But.... it has to be said.

In American culture, it is rather unusual to meet a person and then within the first few months of that relationship, decide to get married. In fact, most Americans tend to see serious talk about marriage during the early stages of a relationship as a major warning sign that something wasn't quite right in their partner's thinking, and would run run RUN away as fast as they could. What would you think if your sister met a guy here in the U.S. and then 2 months later she is already talking marriage ? You would say, "Slow down, sis -- it's too fast."

I don't understand why similar "moving-too-fast" behavior from a foreign man (or woman) would be considered as somehow more sincere. If you're an American women under 70 who has traveled the Middle East, you know that marriage proposals are a dime a dozen. You get them from taxi drivers, waiters, hotel workers, anyone. A lot of people are desperate to get out of there, and many will seek any oppportunity to do so. Walk into any Middle Eastern internet cafe after dark, and you will see -- it's full of young (and not so young) men, intently trolling websites and chat rooms, looking for Western women. Some of them already have a fish on the line, or several, and they work those lines every single day. Many of the younger men are unemployed, and have nothing but time on their hands. They may be working several women at once, and they are willing to marry whichever one shows up first, as long as there's a green card at the end of the rainbow. Some are quite open with their families and friends about their plan to divorce this woman as soon as they possibly can.

If you get a marriage proposal after a few days or a few weeks or even a month or two of chatting to someone on the internet, you should be smart enough to realize it's not YOU that he's fallen for. In the case of desperately poor men from countries with little or no opportunity, the attraction is either your money or your ability to get him a visa.

I am certainly not saying that everyone who meets on the internet is being scammed. But if things are moving faster than fast, there's a reason and it's probably not good.

And let's not forget the fact American women would rarely accept an American man proposing when he had no job, no money, no education, so it's quite curious they would accept this from a foreign man.

I'd count that among the oddities too. Arab men are proud and chauvinistic. For so many to accept the supremacy of a foreign, non-Arab woman connotes some desparation, imo. But, that's why I posted the article. Call it racist, it spoke to me because I see a social change that is not all for the positive and, as an Arab, it concerns me.

Arab women can get used by Arab men for greencards too. Happens all the time in France with Moroccans and Algerians

I don't think being an arab makes you bullet proof from someone hurting you. All you have to do is meet Algerians and Moroccans who have sponsored people from back home to France and then talk to them.

Another thing.. with Moroccans and Algerians.. viriginity matters... age matters... so being Arab may solve some of the stuff...but not all of it...Arabs are alot more patient with westerners than they are with their own women. They give westerners the benefit of the doubt alot of times. I have seen Moroccan girls who cannot find a husband for this stupid reason or that while their passport holding countrymen marry American women, russian... seeking to go out side the arab community and the guys HAVE THEIR PAPERS

You being arab doesn't make it any less likely that you will be taken for a ride on the greencard bus.

I know plenty of "arabs" used for papers by country men and I know Americans that are truly loved by their spouses. and this whole supremacy stuff is a bunch of hogwash. Some arab men marry americans ( GUYS WHO HAVE PAPERS) because they find American women much more open minded and less MATERIALISTIC

Thanks for pointing this out. My husband was explaining to me the same thing last night. He was wondering why a lot of the conversation here was "american women getting used by arabs."

I found it interesting the times I was in Egypt how when I was introduced to my husbands friends, their wives or sisters always wanted to see how big my ring was. One woman even flat out told me I needed to tell him to get me a bigger ring! A lot of his family that are single do not want to marry an egyptian woman because they say all they want is money. I know all woman are not like this and I'm not trying to start another debate.....I'm just saying what I was told. Here I am thinking I was materialistic and my husband says I'm not at all! (He says I need to meet his ex!)

[doodlebug 3]

I found it interesting the times I was in Egypt how when I was introduced to my husbands friends, their wives or sisters always wanted to see how big my ring was. One woman even flat out told me I needed to tell him to get me a bigger ring! A lot of his family that are single do not want to marry an egyptian woman because they say all they want is money. I know all woman are not like this and I'm not trying to start another debate.....I'm just saying what I was told. Here I am thinking I was materialistic and my husband says I'm not at all! (He says I need to meet his ex!)

ditto except for my hubby doesn't have an ex. When I asked him why he hadn't found a nice Egyptian girl yet he told me that I don't understand and that they are very much into the $$$$$$ aspect of marriage.