Potential joint sponser issues

[DeadPoolX 9]

Well, I spoke to her last night, and she said that she'll definitely consider it and when the time comes, if that is the ONLY way for us to be together, then she'll become a USC. It's not something she really wants to do, and I hate pushing her into it, but the other options are less than savory. She understands this as well and wants us to be together as soon as possible too.

As I've said, I think one of her issues with becoming a USC is that she feels like she's lying to the U.S. government by telling them that she's giving up her Canadian citizenship when she's really not -- and would not. She considers herself first and foremost a Canadian, which I really do understand; I consider myself first and foremost an American. I couldn't very well expect her to suddenly switch overnight (or even over the span of years) and toss away her home country for mine. That just wouldn't be realistic nor would it be fair.

I believe Homesick_American is right in that both my father and my fiancee are acting a bit irrational. Becoming a USC doesn't mean the U.S. government has more control over you -- if anything, they have less and you have more rights. And if my father were to truly see just how happy I am with my fiancee, perhaps he'd reconsider. I think part of the problem, regarding my father, is that he's only met my fiancee briefly for about a week. That's knowing someone a very short period of time to ask them to potentially support them for a decade, even if the chance of such a thing is extremely low. I know if my fiancee and I were ever to get divorced, she wouldn't stay in the U.S. to reap benefits. She'd move back to Canada faster than I could blink. So I don't think my father really has much to worry about.

The one hitch would be children. If we did have children (and we're not entirely sure we do want them, but we haven't said "yes" or "no" to that matter) then I can see a fight in the event of a divorce. I can't imagine she'd just up and leave the country without her kids and I wouldn't let her take the kids from me. So if my father thinks of that (and believe me, I won't be putting the idea in his head!), then there might be a very real problem.

I should make it clear that I am just coming up with scenarios. I don't believe for one moment that my fiancee and I would ever get divorced and I find it somewhat unlikely that we're going to have children. It's just my father that I am worried about, since he is the type who quotes me divorce statistics. He did that to me after I told him I was engaged!

But perhaps I can appeal to him somehow, like Homesick_American suggested. I don't know for sure. Unfortunately, at the moment and in the near future, I will need a joint-sponsor. That's just a sad fact of life for me. After a few years, I won't need one, but that's quite a while to wait and my fiancee and I have already been doing the "visiting thing" for two years. I think we'd go nuts if we had to do it for a few more.

Anyway, I know this particular post has been very long and to whomever has read it, I thank you. I realize you'll never get this portion of your life back again. But your attempt to help me does not go unappreciated.

[mozplay 28]

Glad that you had 'the talk'. Perhaps arrange a vist for longer than a week with your father. Allow him to love her as much as you do.

Good luck

Mo

[Carlawarla 1]

I'm so glad as well that you had the talk with your SO, and agree with Mo that spending some time, the three of you together, so that your father gets to know her much better will be great.

I don't know how old you are, but wanted to say that I think by your comments here that you've really handled this maturely. You've thought of scenerios, consequences, and you've been really respectful in your comments, about both your father and your SO.

Hats off to you!

I hope that everything works out for you both!

Carla

[DeadPoolX 9]

Hey, thanks, Cartoboy123!

I'm sure things will work out for the best. My fiancee and I love each other very much, and we'll do whatever is necessary to be together.

Once again, thanks for all the suggestions and comments in this thread. You've all been very helpful.