Relationship ended and what happens if we later rceoncile

[Toronto85 0]

My ex fiancé (Petitioner) broke up with me 3 months ago in December after 14 months together. The consulate had it on hold. I have been working on what I broke the relationship my attitude and how I brought myself but there has been slow progress and improving myself in all ways to be the best I can be. Sought therapist help and all.  I do want to get back together eventually and know that will take a lot time and work and could take months or even a year to show my changes and I’m prepared to wait and patience. What happens if we are able to reconcile down the road. Has anyone been in this situation? How does the second round go for K1? Cause of the breakup will it be seen as suspicious if we get back together? In normal process of life that happens. Slow progress is better than no progress. Been trying to heal and I don’t want the old relationship back. I would hope to build a new relationship with the same person.

We got to the step of just before the interview in Montreal was to be in Feb. We broke up in December. When the consulate cancels it, is it kept at the NVC?

[Ash.1101 1,757]

If the petitioner cancels the K-1 and it'll will be marked as canceled and no longer an active petition. If the consulate sends it back because the I-129F expired, then it'll expire but the petitioner will want to make sure it's actually not active in the system anymore if ya'll get back together and try again. There have been cases where someone found out a very old petition had been kept open and had to close that one before anything could be done on a new one.


With that said, you'll just be met with more scrutiny. Be honest about why you broke up and how you got back together if that ends up the case, but it does happen fairly often, just be aware you may be prodded a bit more about your relationship, but other than that it doesn't change the process itself, just makes for a harder interview.

So overall if you do get back together and file again:

• Make sure the first petition is not active in their system, if it is have the petitioner close it out by contacting USCIS
• Start the process all over, same process nothing different
• Expect a harder interview

Edited March 6, 2017 by Ash.1101

[Toronto85 0]

Thanks for your reply and I understand they would be scrutinizing more but just got to be honest what happened. I’m sure they understand

 He ended as didn’t feel the connection. In 3 months we have had literally few calls and texts. Trying to rebuild connection as I know it’s being blocked by negative emotions.

So if we managed to get it all reconciled if we applied for second k1 would a letter of explanation be required what happened the first time.

Do they send back the original petion to the petitoner?

 

The consulate is about to cancel it. I heard somewhere they can keep on hold in 4 month blocks?

 

[Ash.1101 1,757]

On 3/6/2017 at 8:35 AM, Toronto85 said:

Thanks for your reply and I understand they would be scrutinizing more but just got to be honest what happened. I’m sure they understand

 He ended as didn’t feel the connection. In 3 months we have had literally few calls and texts. Trying to rebuild connection as I know it’s being blocked by negative emotions.

So if we managed to get it all reconciled if we applied for second k1 would a letter of explanation be required what happened the first time.

Do they send back the original petion to the petitoner?

 

The consulate is about to cancel it. I heard somewhere they can keep on hold in 4 month blocks?

 

Sorry I just saw this. As for the lost connection, I would recommend dating for a while if ya'll didn't. I've seen people stop the process over cold feet and things of the like, afraid to leave their country and such but very very rarely is it over just not feeling connected to the person anymore. The whole I love you, but I'm not in love with you kind of thing. Adding in more dating time can really help ya'll see if you were meant to be together, luckily you come from a country where long distance dating is the "easiest" since it's easier for ya'll to visit each other due to visa laws and things like that.


If ya'll filed again within 2 years of the first petition, I believe you would have to file a waiver along with it, but that's not hard. You don't need an explanation of what happened until the interview in which they will just ask.


They won't send back the original petition, after the consulate cancels it, they'll send it back to the NVC to expire. You'll just want the USC to contact the NVC when ever it's possible that ya'll may want to refile to make sure the petition was closed out by them.

[Unlockable 7,322]

My wife and I are an example of a brief breakup during K1 process, reconcile, and successful K1 approval.

 

FYI, the petition was a little over a year expired when my then fiance had the interview.

Edited March 9, 2017 by NuestraUnion

[Toronto85 0]

Thanks spoke to the consulate explained what happened. They can hold till end of the year they said. We used to see each 1-2x a month and he came here a few times. So yeah US/Canada we are like 500 miles apart. Easy to get to, It’s just kind of like back to square one right now not with the visa, But the feelings.  But the process of rebuilding the connection. I think on his part was more cold feet and worried about the process of being the supporter.

 

 

NuestraUnion

Thanks for your story were you broken up for long? Did they grill you more in the interview?

 It’s been 3 months now. He is slowly talking again but it’s not daily communication. But small steps at a time. I told the consulate I don’t want to get back together in 5 minutes and another breakup happens. I want to fix what needs to be fixed.

[Unlockable 7,322]

Not that long. A few months (3 - 4) I think. After getting back together the interview didn't happen until much later. During that time I visited often (which i think contributed to the successful interview). 

 

The break up was never even brought up. I guess the biggest reason why was because there was no indication that we had broken up. I never cancelled the K1 nor notified the embassy. So when we got back together the petition was still active.

 

By the time the interview came we had been together for about 3 years. And I had made over a dozen trips to see her. 

[Marco&Bettina 502]

49 minutes ago, Toronto85 said:

Thanks spoke to the consulate explained what happened. They can hold till end of the year they said. We used to see each 1-2x a month and he came here a few times. So yeah US/Canada we are like 500 miles apart. Easy to get to, It’s just kind of like back to square one right now not with the visa, But the feelings.  But the process of rebuilding the connection. I think on his part was more cold feet and worried about the process of being the supporter.

 

 

NuestraUnion

Thanks for your story were you broken up for long? Did they grill you more in the interview?

 It’s been 3 months now. He is slowly talking again but it’s not daily communication. But small steps at a time. I told the consulate I don’t want to get back together in 5 minutes and another breakup happens. I want to fix what needs to be fixed.

Not trying to get into the realm of relationship advice or anything but how do you know you're not chasing? You said it was your fault it ended but then you also said he got cold feet and worried about the process of being the supporter. Now you guys don't even communicate daily. Is it really a relationship or just kind of like friends? I mean something may grow again out of it eventually but sometimes damage is irreparable. You should really think deeply (so should he) about whether this is something you both want to pursue. If you don't both want to pursue it, even if it is only just a little bit, then it's best to just move on. Time will just be wasted and there will be even more pain in the future than there is now.

[Ash.1101 1,757]

28 minutes ago, Marco&Bettina said:

Not trying to get into the realm of relationship advice or anything but how do you know you're not chasing? You said it was your fault it ended but then you also said he got cold feet and worried about the process of being the supporter. Now you guys don't even communicate daily. Is it really a relationship or just kind of like friends? I mean something may grow again out of it eventually but sometimes damage is irreparable. You should really think deeply (so should he) about whether this is something you both want to pursue. If you don't both want to pursue it, even if it is only just a little bit, then it's best to just move on. Time will just be wasted and there will be even more pain in the future than there is now.

I agree and honestly, I wouldn't worry that much about where everything stands with USCIS as of right now. I guess when I see someone say that they're broken up but there's still hope, I assume they're talking daily and they're still friendly, just estranged. But three months of near silence and still not talking on a daily basis, it just sounds like a legit break up. There's also a big difference about worrying about being the supporter, and losing that "connection" which usually translates to not feeling the same love about a person anymore. Most people that break up and reconcile still have that feeling of love there.
It sounds like even before the break up, communication may have been an issue, and communication is a must for any long distance relationship (and any relationship in person).

[Toronto85 0]

That’s so true about the long distance and communication and I didn't relaize till too late. I accept we have broken up and he is not going to come back to the same situation. So I can only change me but not him if going to make it work. I took for granted.Yeah that is so true and I have been working a lot on my communication skills now and seeking help for that getting coached professionally. I was always reactive not responsive and little empathy and not showing composure which I know now is fundamentals of a relationship. Yeah the communication was broken and I see now on my end. Not that he was perfect or putting him on a pedestal. I have begun to make changes. I know this is a new age approach I went down after it ended, but there is hope all it takes is the other person to change their mind. Emotions change with time. I accept the breakup happened and it's real.  Change takes time and consistency. He may not go back but I cant atleast try.

After the breakup kind of went down a new age approach which everyone is different.

Everyone has a different approach and views.

Edited March 9, 2017 by Toronto85