Going to miss Canada

[CanGirl 95]

I'm having some doubts about how happy I will be living in Michigan. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and he makes me happy. There are just so many things about Canada that I will miss.

- the healthcare and my amazing doctor

- living in a big city

- public transportation

- living close to big malls with nice stores like The Apple Store, MAC Cosmetics, The Bay, Shoppers Drug Mart, etc.

- how nice and polite everyone is

- being around different cultures

- going to miss my family and watching my cousins baby grow up (first child from the third generation in my Dads family so shes kind of a big deal)

Just to name a few. What will you miss about Canada and how long did it take you to adjust?

[NikLR 13,220]

I'm having some doubts about how happy I will be living in Michigan. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and he makes me happy. There are just so many things about Canada that I will miss.

- the healthcare and my amazing doctor

- living in a big city

- public transportation

- living close to big malls with nice stores like The Apple Store, MAC Cosmetics, The Bay, Shoppers Drug Mart, etc.

- how nice and polite everyone is

- being around different cultures

- going to miss my family and watching my cousins baby grow up (first child from the third generation in my Dads family so shes kind of a big deal)

Just to name a few. What will you miss about Canada and how long did it take you to adjust?

Have you guys ever thought about moving to a larger city?

I miss a lot of things about Canada, but as I live on the edge of a rather large city (over 2.6 million in the metropolitan area), it's rather closer to one than I'd like to be. I guess I adjusted when I first moved but I don't know that I'll ever be fully adjusted. I may be too proud to do that.... I'm likely standing in my own way. There are times where I still just say "I just miss it. I can't say why, I just do." You will get bugged and noticed for being Canadian and you'll need to develop a bit of a tough skin for it. Some people genuinely just don't know, others are just ignorant and some people won't realize that they're the 10th person that day to say something to you, but you still have to answer them like you did the first one. Health care will bug you; but you have to get used to it. Even my husband said "Capitalism works for developing a country, but one of this size should figure out it isn't best for the whole anymore." But I also find myself learning WHY Americans are they way they are and using that to explain it to my Canadian family.

The thing that would bug me the most is people saying "Canadansitan" I"m not sure why, but I'm Canadian NOT Canadansitian or however else you choose to bastardize it. I'm developing a tougher skin over it. I also asked certain people to stop because it did bug me. They didn't realize it did and weren't trying to tick me off, just joking around. Such is life right?

I find people to be friendly here if you're friendly first. Moving somewhere new is no time to be introverted.

Edited April 12, 2014 by NLR

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

Not leaving yet, but I'm definitely going to miss my free healthcare. The other thing I'm going to miss is being able to take my pets on public transit--Austin's public transit apparently does not allow this, which makes me sad. I've had many grand adventures by taking my old dog somewhere on the TTC and exploring a new part of town and my cat does not love his carrier, so we've always travelled to the vet by leashing him and him sitting peacefully on my lap. I mean yeah, I have to choose travel times to avoid 'peak hours' but it's made it a lot easier. Austin's public transit also really sucks rather a lot, especially considering it's a college town.

[NikLR 13,220]

Where I live, outside of Denver, the public transportation is non-existent. I guess I could drive to the light rail... but then I'd just DRIVE where I want to go too. Summer is nice because my hubs takes the bike and I get the Jeep. But I'd like my own little car too.... (I didn't bring my car down.)

[Sylea 30]

As I get ever closer to my own move, I sometimes get overwhelmed by what I've actually chosen to do.
Changing to the American health care system is frightening - having been in and out of hospital many times over the last 5 years, it's alarming to think that if I need medical assistance, there will be a dollar figure attached to every single thing. Whereas here in BC, all they need is my CareCard and then I don't think anymore about it.

I am moving to an area with a population (greatly spread out) of around 34,000 - definitely small town America.
CanGirl, I am going to be living in Michigan too. (Southwest, near Holland) We are very close to Grand Rapids, which is urban enough should we want to be in a 'big city' for the sights and sounds and ethnicity.

For the most part during the time I HAVE spent there over the last 5.5 years, I've been treated very kindly. Though I've been asked more than once if I'm from England. LOL
The other thing I shall miss is Indian restaurants!! There is a huge lack of them in the area I am going to, so I guess I'm just going to have to learn how to cook Indian food better!!
I also find the bureaucracy absolutely staggering. I've worked for a major Canadian bank for over 28 years, and I used to think that some of our bureaucracy was ridiculous, but we don't hold a candle to the US. Particularly banks. The one thing I know for sure (though I've been offered a job by BoA) is that I will not work in banking in the US.
NLR - I'm sorry but I find someone called you "Canadaistan" horrifying. I know people are making a (stupid) joke, but what they're really doing is showing the incredible paranoia and fear drilled into them about Muslims and countries that are Islamic. There are aspects to the American psyche that I find really disturbing. The small town area I am moving to is primarily white and Dutch Lutheran. As a Buddhist, it will be a great challenge to keep my heart open and loving when I hear people say things like they have to you.
I am by turns, terrified and incredibly excited to be making such a huge change to my life, and at this half way point of my life. But as the 'kids' say, YOLO!!
Peace and love to all.

Edited April 12, 2014 by Sylea

[Sylea 30]

Also should add that the public transportation sucks here in the Interior of BC, so I'm used to driving my car everywhere or walking. At present, it would cost me $4.50 per day to take the bus to work - the drive takes me 8 minutes, and it costs me $3.00 per day to park! Not rocket science, other than the footprint.

So I walk to work in the nice weather. I won't be able to do that in Michigan.

I've also found you don't have to drive very far in the USA to find a mall, if that's your thing. LOL

I like to support independent businesses as much as I can, so I love the 'downtown' part of Holland - it's a lovely walk and there's so many interesting little stores to poke into.

The house my husband bought for us is on 2 wooded acres, a mile from a private beach on Lake Michigan, and we are next to a 480 acre nature park. It's incredible. And yet, we are 10 minutes from Walmart and about 12 from downtown Holland. So for me, it's the best of both worlds.

CanGirl, you'll do just fine, and I'm sure you'll find new things to enjoy. But I think we'll all miss Canada,in one way or another.

Peace.

[NikLR 13,220]

It's my husband's military friends that tend to make that kind of statement. Rather expected considering who it's coming from. You get used to it or you ask them to stop. Which they do when they realize it's actually an issue not just a "word." I got a rather profuse apology.

To a lot of American's, political correctness is stupid. They feel they should be able to say whatever they want to, however they want to, and not to be able to infringes on their freedom. If someone is offended... that's their problem, not the person who's speaking. In a way I agree, after all they have it written into their constitution. But in another way, there's this awesome thing called 'tact.' But I think the entire world knows that the US lacks that awesome thing in spades! LOL!!! Even they know it. You'd be seriously offended by what a lot of our friends say behind closed doors, but that doesn't mean they mean anything bad by it either or that they're racist or sexist etc... To them it's just words and as the old saying goes

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

[CanGirl 95]

I wish I was going to be living closer to Grand Rapids, even Ann Arbor. Unfortunately I'll be up north living in a small town called Midland. The closest big city is Saginaw I think which is, according to my husband, ghetto. I don't exactly know lol

Anyways wow I just realized what you meant by Canadanistan. That's crazy and I haven't heard much discrimination being Canadian from anyone in Michigan actually. People are mostly curious and just ask me a few questions about where I live.

We have talked here and there about moving to a bigger city. That might end up happening in a couple years if I really can't cope with small town living. Thanks for all your replies everyone. I love my VJ family and I'm glad you guys are here for me to vent to.

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

Small town living can be not too bad, I will say that, if you get involved in various social events put on by various groups. Stuff like getting on a fall fair committee or volunteering at a music festival can really open up your social circle and make it so you feel more surrounded by people. Even just volunteering at a local animal shelter or to read to kids at the local library can help. I grew up in a tiny village near a very small town and these things help keep you from getting bored and build anticipation for upcoming events when there aren't many events happening.

[NikLR 13,220]

Hey guys... If I've decided not to be offended to something said TO ME by MY FRIENDS, I'd super appreciate you'd not being offended for me. Thanks

You'll get used to it down here. It is different, but change is never bad, it's just change.

[kc247 22]

I've been here 2 months on the 20th. It's easier than it was but I still miss home a lot & that will never change. i miss living in Canada. I live in a bigger city than I came from, I came from a small town, so that is nice. I find the hardest part not having my friends & family around anymore. The only friend I have is my husband, which is fine, but he works & goes to school a lot & I have nothing to do/no money to do anything even if I wanted to. I would of course rather be here with him than home waiting like I was before. I would rather us both live in Canada but at the moment that isn't an option. The health care definitely bothers me, I came from a job that I had really good benefits from, covered everything basically. I don't understand the US health care, so I complain about it a lot but try to suck it up. I miss my dog a lot, if I had him with me it would make it easier because I would get out more with him. He couldn't come with me though, our apartment isn't pet friendly & it is all we can afford at the moment. Once I get settled in a job we will move somewhere that is and hopefully my parents will eventually drive down with him. I don't want him to go on a plane. It probably would of been easier if I came from living alone, but I lived at home with my family and then came here to not having them around and being alone a lot. I am not one to go join groups or anything like that if I am alone. I would rather stay home than have to be put in a social setting that makes me feel awkward haha. I do go to the university gym a few mornings a week which gets me out and about so I like that! It will be easier once I am working, but the thought of having to go apply for jobs and go through interviews stresses me out as well haha. My worst fear is that I won't find a job in my field & will have to go get a job at a grocery store or something.. & there is nothing wrong with that at all, but I worked at one for 7 years and the thought of having to go back to that type of job worries me!

Sorry for complaining, it really isn't all that bad, we have fun and I do like it here. I just wish I could go visit home! But I will say it is easier than it was..I don't get choked up thinking about my family anymore so that is progress! I think it just depends on the individual, some people adjust to change better than others!
Oh & it is funny when people ask where I am from and I say Nova Scotia, I usually don't add in Canada...because I stubbornly think people should know that is in Canada. Often they are like....Nova Scotia..Europe? One guy was like 'that's technically in Canada right?' I'm like....it is fully in Canada actually. I do like the price of gas much more here..it is about $3.30 a gallon, not sure if that is a good price in the US? But home we were paying about $1.40 a litre when I left.

Edited April 12, 2014 by kc247

[Sylea 30]

NLR - "there's this awesome thing called 'tact.' " That cracked me up. I've actually met my fair share of Canadians who also lack it in spades!!

And you're right about it just being change. We all chose to go on this journey because we fell in love, and it really does conquer all in my book.

I'm excited, terrified and overwhelmed with what I'm doing at 53 years of age, but I can hardly wait to really live with my husband. We've been doing long distance for over 5 years, we're neither of us getting any younger, but we are so blessed to have found each other, no matter what happens.

One of my biggest concerns is developing a social circle once I'm there - hubby and I cannot be everything to each other, nor should we be, it's not healthy. I know once I find a job I like that the social circle will come from there. I expect I might volunteer at the local humane society or something just to get out and meet people. I think that will help me adjust to being so far away from everything I've ever known.

Wow Sylea - self involved much??

LOL

Peace all.

[CanGirl 95]

Kc247 we could be the same person lol I live with my family now and I don't like the idea that once I'm living with my husband it will be just us 2 and I will be alone a lot until I get a job. I am also dreading applying for jobs and going to interviews. I get so nervous and hate awkward social situations too lol

Sylea youre right, I am worried about just depending on my husband to be everything to me. That's not healthy I need some other people around to vent to when he is getting on my nerves lol. I just hope I can get a couple of friends after awhile.

I love reading all of your replies it really warms my heart and makes me smile a little.

[NikLR 13,220]

My husband and I are pretty much best friends. I have a couple acquaintances here, people I hang out with while at work , one that I've hung out with outside of work, and my gaming buddies, but essentially, it's the two of us. I'm friends with his friends too, but if he wants to go off and do stuff with the boys, that's fine by me.

I plan on going back to school for a new degree. Maybe schooling or a new job would lead to more friends, who knows. I plan on starting riding again too, but that likely won't be for a couple of years when I can afford it.

[Erica & L 50]

I'm born and raised in Vancouver, BC but I've been here for almost 11 months. I miss Canada a lot. My wife and I both don't like living in Alabama (we didn't really have much choice as we currently live in a suite rented by my mother-in-law or else we couldn't really afford normal renting circumstances on one barely above minimum wage income) but we are moving to Portland in a couple months! As you can imagine, being a gay couple in the middle of the bible belt has it's moments.

I miss my friends a lot. It was really hard and I had a lot of days that I curled up in a ball and cried and hugged my wife because I'd see something on Facebook or talk to them and it would just make me so sad that I couldn't be there. We are friends with people here but my wife works a lot and they don't live within walking-distance. There's no public transit here so I can't really go out, go the store, go to the mall etc to occupy myself because we don't live within walking distance of anything and it has been 11 really longs months without being able to have any employment. I miss feeling like an independent, functioning adult. I've lived on my own and supported myself for the past 6 years and to suddenly have to rely on my in laws to support us in some aspects and provide a roof over our head essentially hasn't been the easiest situation. Like, it makes me feel awful about myself some days but at the same time we are stuck.

On the bright side, I got my EAD approved and will be working asap so we can finally have two incomes coming in! And my wife's family is moving to Texas in 3-4 months, we are sort of on a timeline to save up enough money to start our life in Portland. Even though I don't have my GC, my friends can drive down and visit with us, when I get my GC we can go up to Vancouver to visit them and I'm really excited. We'll have our own little apartment and everything and I will finally start feeling like a human being again!

My wife LOVES Canada, like probably more than I do Loves my friends more than most of her friends down here. Loves the west coast in general and she had never left the south until she came up to meet me. We plan to move back there eventually but because schooling and the cost of living is cheaper in the US, we think it's best to finish up all of that and settle back down and go through Canadian immigration once we both have careers etc. She's been my rock throughout this entire process and always been on my side whenever I was feeling down in the dumps. I think has hard as this process has been, it's never taken a toll on our relationship. In a few months we will look back and think about the last year as something we pushed through and accomplished together and I think that's a bond a lot of us on here can share that a lot of other couples can't experience

Edited April 12, 2014 by Erica & Lily