Workplace Etiquette

[one...two...tree 2,762]

This happens at the company I work for, although we've staffed up and now we have close to a dozen women, but still the company is overrun by guys who are mostly, socially inept (computer nerds). I think this is why companies need more diversity.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman who has entered the workforce for the first time. I work at a large company that employs very few women. Abby, I am a very average girl who has never been the center of attention, but here at work it's a different story. Here, I get treated like a supermodel.

People fawn over me, ask me personal questions, ask me out and just want to be my friend. It's hard to get work done with so many men coming by every day, and it's embarrassing for me.

I have tried to be cold to some of them to get them to stop coming by, but it doesn't work. How can I discourage random people from coming by just to say "Hi" and have a conversation all the time? They don't start conversations with all the men who sit near me, so why should they start one with me? It's making me want to leave the company and never come back. -- PLAIN JANE IN TEXAS

DEAR PLAIN JANE: The time has come to have a talk with your supervisor or director of human resources about this. What appears to be "friendliness" is hampering your work performance and could be construed as sexual harassment. Please do not leave the company. Instead, make a formal report about what has been happening. It is up to management to put a stop to this -- and if they don't, it should be reported to the local labor board.

[William33 110]

Those clowns would not last 10 minutes in a reputable establishment, one with a clear and concise harassment policy.

That sh!t is for the bar scene, not in a professional work environment. What is the matter with people?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Those clowns would not last 10 minutes in a reputable establishment, one with a clear and concise harassment policy.

That sh!t is for the bar scene, not in a professional work environment. What is the matter with people?

I don't know, I've seen it happen to a more or lesser degree at almost every place I've worked - especially if an attractive woman joins the staff. If the atmosphere is more laid back socially, I can undertand the friendliness, but what's odd is if it's a guy who normally doesn't talk to any of his coworkers has suddenly become very talkative towards the new female employee. I think most of the time, the newness wears off quickly and once the woman gets to know the employees and their social habits, it's harder for guys to throw their fake charm at her.

[William33 110]

Those clowns would not last 10 minutes in a reputable establishment, one with a clear and concise harassment policy.

That sh!t is for the bar scene, not in a professional work environment. What is the matter with people?

I don't know, I've seen it happen to a more or lesser degree at almost every place I've worked - especially if an attractive woman joins the staff. If the atmosphere is more laid back socially, I can undertand the friendliness, but what's odd is if it's a guy who normally doesn't talk to any of his coworkers has suddenly become very talkative towards the new female employee. I think most of the time, the newness wears off quickly and once the woman gets to know the employees and their social habits, it's harder for guys to throw their fake charm at her.

This is typical male tendency, in an uncontrolled environment. In the Government, they have clear policy in this regard, almost to the degree that makes one paranoid to say hello. On the flipside, in my position in the corporate world, the policy is clear, as to the boundaries of interaction with the opposite sex. Friendly interaction, on a professional level. The way it should be in the workplace.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Those clowns would not last 10 minutes in a reputable establishment, one with a clear and concise harassment policy.

That sh!t is for the bar scene, not in a professional work environment. What is the matter with people?

I don't know, I've seen it happen to a more or lesser degree at almost every place I've worked - especially if an attractive woman joins the staff. If the atmosphere is more laid back socially, I can undertand the friendliness, but what's odd is if it's a guy who normally doesn't talk to any of his coworkers has suddenly become very talkative towards the new female employee. I think most of the time, the newness wears off quickly and once the woman gets to know the employees and their social habits, it's harder for guys to throw their fake charm at her.

This is typical male tendency, in an uncontrolled environment. In the Government, they have clear policy in this regard, almost to the degree that makes one paranoid to say hello. On the flipside, in my position in the corporate world, the policy is clear, as to the boundaries of interaction with the opposite sex. Friendly interaction, on a professional level. The way it should be in the workplace.

That's understandable. At my company, many of us come to work wearing sandals and shorts, kegs of beer are ordered on special occassions, and we have several company parties throughout the year, so the environment encourages people to be more sociallable (sp). I think most women have learned how to cope with mild fawning by male co-workers and of course if it turns into harassment, she should report it.

Edited January 6, 2007 by Steven_and_Jinky

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

In my experience most people know how to behave -- I've never worked anywhere where a little off-color remark or flirting went too far because there clearly defined policies.

I will say that a healthy office is one with a roughly equal split of genders -- too many women and it's a hornet's nest, too many men and it can get a little inappropriate.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

In my experience most people know how to behave -- I've never worked anywhere where a little off-color remark or flirting went too far because there clearly defined policies.

I will say that a healthy office is one with a roughly equal split of genders -- too many women and it's a hornet's nest, too many men and it can get a little inappropriate.

[William33 110]

In my experience most people know how to behave -- I've never worked anywhere where a little off-color remark or flirting went too far because there clearly defined policies.

I will say that a healthy office is one with a roughly equal split of genders -- too many women and it's a hornet's nest, too many men and it can get a little inappropriate.

In a perfect world, sure. I'll that too.

In my case, I have always worked in an environment such as that. A relatively equal mix.

Steven, in your case I surmise that you work in a relatively small office, by comparison, less than 100 people?

To date, I have been in organizations with many thousands of people, where harassment policy is enforced, following "incidents".

[one...two...tree 2,762]

In my experience most people know how to behave -- I've never worked anywhere where a little off-color remark or flirting went too far because there clearly defined policies.

I will say that a healthy office is one with a roughly equal split of genders -- too many women and it's a hornet's nest, too many men and it can get a little inappropriate.

In a perfect world, sure. I'll that too.

In my case, I have always worked in an environment such as that. A relatively equal mix.

Steven, in your case I surmise that you work in a relatively small office, by comparison, less than 100 people?

To date, I have been in organizations with many thousands of people, where harassment policy is enforced, following "incidents".

When I first started with the company we had about 50 employees but now we're over 150 spread over 3 office spaces - 16 of which are female. I work in the video game industry which has been dominated by man-boys who wear black t-shirts and still battle with acne. The industry is finally maturing as some of the guys have actually gotten married and now have families. But still the bulk of them - the closest they've ever come to interacting with a real woman is when they hand over their money to the girl at the drive thru. So if a new female employee gets hired, some of these schmucks think that this could be their lucky break. But it seems to work out over time - perhaps a dose of reality makes them realize why they didn't have a girlfriend in the first place.

[melly 0]

I work in a company of under 50 people.

The owners are a husband and wife.

The husband is always making "jokes" that I find inappropriate for the workplace, and is often joined by others in the office, if not at least having his "jokes" laughed at. There was a time when the wife tried to get him to stop it, but it never lasts for more than a couple of weeks before he's back with his rude and filthy comments.

It's really disgusting and I hate working there more and more because of his and others' behaviours.

[peezey 0]

I work in a large company with the requisite California keggers, wine parties, etc. My boss is having an affair with a contractor, which isn't the worst part. He has dragged another woman in to be the go between, asking her to call the gf so that the husband hears a woman's voice on the other end, insisting she go to lunch with them so it doesn't appear inappropriate, etc. The contractor/gf has since moved on to another company, but the affair is ongoing, and the abuse of this 2nd woman continues. She is always sick, panic attacks, and of course totally unhappy at work. She attempted to "feel the waters" with another director about turning this guy in and was totally discouraged from doing so, saying this man is well-liked and nothing will be done about it, and it would put her reputation at risk!

I am beside myself. I am a contractor as well, and this is so totally unjust that I am on the verge of risking my own employment (I don't completey believe the guy is as golden as he's made out to be) to turn him in. Not only for this poor woman, but I know from my past working relationship with this guy a few years ago, this isn't his first office affair.

I'm going on the assumption that this is a large, global company, quite visible in my field, and probably wouldn't want a big harrassment scandal to blow up. Not sure if I'm naive, though.

My point is, it seems women are still not considered colleagues and some men certainly know how to take advantage of women they know will be intimidated.

Edited January 7, 2007 by peezey

[sparkofcreation 0]

In the Government, they have clear policy in this regard, almost to the degree that makes one paranoid to say hello.

Must depend where in government you work (geographically, what agency, etc.). Many of my co-workers found their positions through word-of-mouth from friends who already worked there, and most of us hang out outside of work. People throw parties and invite the whole office all the time (in addition to in-office parties, like baby showers, birthday parties, and for example, just before Christmas someone bought pizza for everyone who was working that day and we watched Rudolph on the big screen in the conference room), and I know at least 3 couples who have met at work there and married. And people here in NM are very touchy-feely, it's really common during down times (e.g. at a lunch break) for someone to put a hand on your arm to say hi or to make a point (I mean, people are touchy-feely here in general, not just at my office—if it was just my office or just 1 or 2 people I'd find it odd, but most of the people I know here do this).

That said, I know we do have a policy that my husband can't apply for any job in our branch of government anywhere in the district (which in New Mexico means the whole state). Although if I had married someone who works here, that would be okay if we worked in different sections (if we worked in the same section, one of us would have to transfer to a different city).

Edited January 7, 2007 by sparkofcreation