'Forced' to marry

[brnidokiegurl 1]

THe only test i know for either would be TIME but i dont know how the benefits would come into play probably only by going the legal way of marriage. Also please note there is no fighting going on here for quite sometime now and i even gave Gary a compliment on being a nice guy Gary in example now knowing you love your current SO what if she came in and said lets just be together no marriage? (in example)

[Jenn! 918]

[featherB 1]

BTW, one curious thing, most of the protesters are K1s. They're not even married, yet they're moaning about someone making them get married. If you're not already married, no one has made you do anything. What are you whining about anyway?

Huh? Nobody is 'whining' or 'moaning about someone making them get married'. They are simply disagreeing with your blanket statement that if (as a result of the immigration process) they're marrying sooner than they might otherwise have done, or marrying when they might otherwise have not considered it at all, they must be lacking in commitment.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

Just because K-1 doesnt mean havent been there and done that maybe for some of the younger ones in their mind they have all the intent and dreams that will follow that everyone had at one time in either commitment/marriage thats life

[Sofiyya 1,687]

BTW, one curious thing, most of the protesters are K1s. They're not even married, yet they're moaning about someone making them get married. If you're not already married, no one has made you do anything. What are you whining about anyway?

Huh? Nobody is 'whining' or 'moaning about someone making them get married'. They are simply disagreeing with your blanket statement that if (as a result of the immigration process) they're marrying sooner than they might otherwise have done, or marrying when they might otherwise have not considered it at all, they must be lacking in commitment.

Another example of a blanket staement that I didn't make.

[Fandango 1,440]

My own life experience only proved to me that it's possible to have a committed relationship without marriage

Well said, Gary! That's all we've been saying

[garya505 2]

She asked you several times NOT to call her that which makes it very strange that you then proceeded to get the word "hon" into every sentence possible. That is immature and you know it.

It's no longer worth commenting on.

Why not? You just did about 2 posts above mine. I'll take that as you not wanting to admit it's immature.

Whatever, Sarah. Beat that dead horse. We still disagree.

Those were the darkest days, more than most people can imagine ...

There's a difference a general tendency and an exception. I never said there could be no commitment without marriage, or that marriage always means a commitment, only that for most people a willingness and desire to be married demonstrates a deeper commitment and stronger intent.

Some people here seem to insist on thinking in an all-or-nothing nothing manner, when few things in life are that simple.

I can see that NO ONE is still trying to convince anyone of anything on this thread.

I think, gary, that you are the only person arguing on this thread that understands what I've actually said. The rest are. . . well, I don't know what they've read. Some put words into my "mouth" and distorted what I was saying and have prejudiced those who haven't bothered to find out for themselves.

I know what you're saying too. Some don't get it because they are so invested in protecting their own values and blaming others for their own choices.

BTW, one curious thing, most of the protesters are K1s. They're not even married, yet they're moaning about someone making them get married. If you're not already married, no one has made you do anything. What are you whining about anyway?

Yes, you are correct.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

How can you sit there and say deeper than what you had? I think what u had was great would being married make it any thing more

Yes I still believe that, and so does my fiancee.

The studies I pointed out before cite that one variable is that one person in the relationship is unwilling to marry and the other goes along because cohabitation is what they can get. Gary would have rather been married, but he couldn't marry.

This time, he can and he is happy to do so. He's not complaining about the time the government gives you or having to do it for immigration. He just wants to do it.

I applaud you, sir! But, unlike most here, you are not looking for validation of your values.

Edited January 3, 2007 by szsz

[garya505 2]

My own life experience only proved to me that it's possible to have a committed relationship without marriage

Well said, Gary! That's all we've been saying

I'm sure it was unintentional on your part to distort what I said by selecting only a portion, so here's the entire quote for your convenience:

I didn't prefer a commited relationship without marriage. That was her choice. My own life experience only proved to me that it's possible to have a committed relationship without marriage in one single case. I still believe that most people who feel they would prefer a committed relationship without marriage are less committed.

[Fandango 1,440]

How can you sit there and say deeper than what you had? I think what u had was great would being married make it any thing more

Yes I still believe that, and so does my fiancee.

The studies I pointed out before cite that one variable is that one person in the relationship is unwilling to marry and the other goes along because cohabitation is what they can get. Gary would have rather been married, but he couldn't marry.

This time, he can and he is happy to do so. He's not complaining about the time the government gives you or having to do it for immigration. He just wants to do it.

I applaud you, sir! But, unlike most here, you are not looking for validation of your values.

Seriously, are you even reading anything that anyone else is typing?

[ceriserose 1]

It's as if you're wearing red socks and someone is insisting that it's because you are rebelling against all the white-socked conformists. And no matter how many times you say that you're not rebelling against anything, you just happen to like red socks, they just keep on insisting that you are rebelling as if somehow they know you better than you know you.

But what if I like, um, wear one red sock and one white? Or if I do the wash (and not hubby) and end up with all pink?

Can I still be a rebel with pink socks???

This thread is so confusing!!!!!!

No way, pink is way too girlie. Rebels aren't girlie.

Did you just call me girlie? Oh now I've got to put the smackdown on ya. I'm SOOOO not girlie.

Just utterly inept at sorting colors from whites in the wash.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

Yep i said what he had was great and wished him well this time also as i do with all just for me i dont like them setting a time line of when to get married or i guess stretch it a little and say if and when i get married. Unless you guys know another way, for me to be with Ahmed, we need get married in 90 days or did i miss something again?

[garya505 2]

How can you sit there and say deeper than what you had? I think what u had was great would being married make it any thing more

Yes I still believe that, and so does my fiancee.

The studies I pointed out before cite that one variable is that one person in the relationship is unwilling to marry and the other goes along because cohabitation is what they can get. Gary would have rather been married, but he couldn't marry.

This time, he can and he is happy to do so. He's not complaining about the time the government gives you or having to do it for immigration. He just wants to do it.

I applaud you, sir! But, unlike most here, you are not looking for validation of your values.

Once again you are 100% correct. Have you been talking to my fiancee?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I asked a question early on that only person answered, and that is, among those of you who are complaining about having to marry for immigration, do you plan to divorce once your marriage is no longer needed for immigration purposes?

Also, I'm curious as to whether you have informed your SO, friends and family that you find this marriage thing a pain and am only doing it as a sacrifice so you and your beloved can be together.

Is anyone planning to put that in their vows?

Just curious.

Once again you are 100% correct. Have you been talking to my fiancee?

No, but your comments remind me of my dear husband's views, views that we share.

Edited January 3, 2007 by szsz

[sarah and hicham 3]

I think I just realized why szsz and gary get along so well