In Need of Encouragement

[Tee and Megan 10]

Hi again everyone,

So my fiance and I spent a lot of our time together during our last visit (Dec. 2013-Jan. 2014) in Cambodia preparing all the documents for our K-1. I feel like we are so ready to apply. However, I am starting to get pretty down about this.

I am a Masters student and thus unable to meet the 125%-of-the-poverty-line income requirement. Given how much tickets to Cambodia cost, and just the general weight of our hearts being separated like this, we decided before I left to speed up the process. We were going to wait to apply for our K-1 until I graduated in 2017 and just visit each other as often as money allows. But given just how expensive it is, and how agonizing it is to be away from each other, I decided to drop down to half-time classes in order to try to find a job that pays enough that I can sponsor him.

However, finding jobs in my current city is really tough. I am not sure I'll be able to find one until the summer when schools start hiring again (I also have a teaching license).

VJ friends and commiserators, would any of you advise us to hold off applying for the visa until I find a job, or could we apply and just trust I'll find a job before (if? eeek.) we get to the round where we need to submit the Affidavit of Support. (that's like five or six months from when you initially apply, right?)

We are both so tired and sick of being separated. ( I am sure there are many here who can understand) Do any of you have advice about this?

Thanks again for everything, everyone.

Megan and Tee

[Cori and Rob 55]

Is getting a co-sponsor an option? You don't need to make 125% of the poverty line as long as you have a co-sponsor who does, perhaps a parent or other relative. That person would have to do the I-864 forms as well as you.

Edited February 6, 2014 by Cori and Rob

[AA100 19]

Hi again everyone,

So my fiance and I spent a lot of our time together during our last visit (Dec. 2013-Jan. 2014) in Cambodia preparing all the documents for our K-1. I feel like we are so ready to apply. However, I am starting to get pretty down about this.

I am a Masters student and thus unable to meet the 125%-of-the-poverty-line income requirement. Given how much tickets to Cambodia cost, and just the general weight of our hearts being separated like this, we decided before I left to speed up the process. We were going to wait to apply for our K-1 until I graduated in 2017 and just visit each other as often as money allows. But given just how expensive it is, and how agonizing it is to be away from each other, I decided to drop down to half-time classes in order to try to find a job that pays enough that I can sponsor him.

However, finding jobs in my current city is really tough. I am not sure I'll be able to find one until the summer when schools start hiring again (I also have a teaching license).

VJ friends and commiserators, would any of you advise us to hold off applying for the visa until I find a job, or could we apply and just trust I'll find a job before (if? eeek.) we get to the round where we need to submit the Affidavit of Support. (that's like five or six months from when you initially apply, right?)

We are both so tired and sick of being separated. ( I am sure there are many here who can understand) Do any of you have advice about this?

Thanks again for everything, everyone.

Megan and Tee

Hi,

You just need to find a co-sponsor. My wife sponsored me while she was still at school. So she was my main sponsor and I asked my cousin if he could help us with the sponsorship and he agreed. So they both filled out I-864 and everything went well and now I am here in US with my wife so do not panic just find a co-sponsor and continue studying full time at college. If you need any further information let me know.

[Tee and Megan 10]

I have asked my parents and they both regretfully said no. They have never met my fiance and they do not understand the commitments of co-sponsorship. They think if my fiance comes here and gets in an accident or gets sick (heaven forbid) they will be legally responsible. Is that true? I thought it only concerned government aid. I am not close enough with any of my cousins to ask, unfortunately.

Thank you both so much for the encouragement! It is just hard to be back in the States after such a wonderful trip together.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I have asked my parents and they both regretfully said no. They have never met my fiance and they do not understand the commitments of co-sponsorship. They think if my fiance comes here and gets in an accident or gets sick (heaven forbid) they will be legally responsible. Is that true? I thought it only concerned government aid. I am not close enough with any of my cousins to ask, unfortunately.

Thank you both so much for the encouragement! It is just hard to be back in the States after such a wonderful trip together.

I don't blame your parents for refusing to sign I-864 for a stranger.

I won't do it either, too much risk involved.

Would you want to be a loan guarantor for someone you never meet before? I don't think so.

http://www.***removed***/affidavit-of-support/sponsor-responsibilities-obligations.html

Immigration itself is not cheap, form filing fees, Consulate Interview fees, medical fees.. AOS fees, ROC fees ..etc

Since you wish to be with fiance, then it should be your sole responsibility to find a job that meet the 125% poverty guidelines, which is $19,387 for household size of 2 which IMHO is considered low already.

If being together with your fiance is your top priority now, then defer your studies and find a job to fulfill the immigration criteria.

If not, then wait till you are graduate, get a well-paid job to sponsor your fiance/spouse.

This couple endure years of separation before the visa is finally issued.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/479131-after-4-and-a-half-years-visa-is-issued/

If your love is strong enough, you will persevere through hard times.

[Cori and Rob 55]

I have to say that Merrytooth is right. The whole idea behind the affadavit of support is to prevent the beneficiary from becoming a drain on the system, so the government makes the person who supports him or her say that they will be held financially responsible for that person. In a way, it's almost like having a child without the safety net of government assistance. If your parents aren't unwilling to take on the risk, you will likely be hard-pressed to find anyone else who is. I'm not sure how long you have been with your fiance, but I can tell you from experience that my now-husband and I spent four years apart, only getting visits in when we could get time off from work, which is NEVER enough. However, I'm no different than many people on VJ, and our love persevered. It's incredibly hard, but by the time we got engaged and filled out the paperwork, we were prepared for it. My husband saved and saved so he wouldn't be a drain on me and so we could afford to live on my salary alone. Not to mention that you should file for AOS/EAD relatively soon after marrying (which costs $1070), if for no other reason than approval of that will allow your future husband to work in the US. It's not hopeless getting your guy here, but you need to do some serious thinking about your priorities and if you'll be financially stable enough for when he gets here. You may have to play the waiting game, as hard as that is. I wish you a lot of luck!

[Tee and Megan 10]

Thanks everyone. I know we have a hard road ahead of us. Cambodia just isn't terribly safe right now; and the worry is so draining. I wanted to speed up the process to ensure his safety and to lessen the drain on my heart and soul.

But I know it will be okay. We are in solidarity with many, many other couples. Thanks for the encouragement everyone.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

You're either going to have to drop school and do some full time work, or try and do school and full time work. If you can't get a co-sponsor, there's no other way around it if you want to do it now.

[paddington_bear 30]

If the problem with your parents refusing to co-sponsor is that they haven't met your fiance/don't know him very well, why not rectify that before you make the huge decision to withdraw half or wholly from your studies? Coming from someone who spent years (and is still IN) graduate school, I can attest that withdrawing from classes can also become an issue, financially and emotionally.

I would suggest that you take a bit more time if your heart can bear it to stick to your studies and instead ask your parents if meeting your fiance would change their minds. That way either you all can travel to Cambodia together or he can come to you and you all can talk. As you're working on this aspect, you can also be finishing your degree and moving toward a better job. If it's a MA, surely it's done in a year or so? And as you said you can get work via teaching while you study? I just would hate to see someone pursuing education to completely abandon it when it may be possible that your parents would come around. It also may be helpful to get them to read the critiques and explanations of the affidavit of support forms...... but that's just my two cents....

[gwenstar 66]

If the problem with your parents refusing to co-sponsor is that they haven't met your fiance/don't know him very well, why not rectify that before you make the huge decision to withdraw half or wholly from your studies? Coming from someone who spent years (and is still IN) graduate school, I can attest that withdrawing from classes can also become an issue, financially and emotionally.

This is really good advice.

Even if meeting your fiance does not change their minds, I am sure it would be good for them (as well as your fiance) to have some time to get to know each other. In the long run that could help with your fiance adjusting to coming to this country.

You have some difficult decisions to make, but whatever you choose, you have a long process ahead of you. You are wise to be thoughtfully weighing the different options that you have. It is important that whatever you decide to do, that you and your fiance are on the same page. This helps make you both able to support and love each other through the whole ordeal.

I wish you all the best!

[Mela17 36]

It seems you have a good handle on what the requirements are. the USCIS looks at current income. Let's say hypothetically you get a job tomorrow and you are able to prove that you can sponsor your fiancee. I am assuming you do not have any dependent children. You are required to submit your most recent years tax return and also you may submit your last 3 years tax returns if you think it will help you, but if you did not make above the poverty line the last 3 years i would advise against doing so. Unfortunately the time to file taxes for 2013 calendar year has passed so if you did not make above the poverty line last year i would recommend getting a job and filing your taxes for 2014 and waiting to file until january next year. This is just my opinion. You could also prove your income using assets, as in if you have any savings or any assets that can be liquidated into cash within one calendar year. It's all in the paperwork I highly suggest reading through all of it before you proceed. Government paperwork is very literal, follow the instructions to the T and you will be OK.