I dont get along with my stepdad and he threatened to send us back to the Philippines (newbie here) :)

[Hn&Ma 5]

Dwightcharles: it is commendable of you to care about your mom and sisters as you've come on here for some support on how to handle things. Well if that isn't the definition of a caring young man... However, remember that if you do nothing, things remain same at the best or get worse, so pull yourself up by your bootstraps and start acting one step at a time.

1) don't look back. Start acting now

2) find a place to start with even though small.

3) come get your sisters or take them with you if your mom agrees to this.

4) your mom may get a wake up call and speak frankly to your step father or he may spontaneously change for the better. If not, chances are that she may in fact come join you guys, but that's her call to make.

5) grab the numerous opportunities in the US, no one can kick you out if you abide by the laws of the land and commit no crime that makes you deportable. You are in the USofA where there are laws and people respect the law of the land.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Hn&Ma

[Ron and Rhea 42]

If you have a green card, the only way it can be taken away is if you're convicted of a crime in court.

If you have citizenship, it cannot be taken away unless you lied on your application and were a Nazi. (even this requires congress to get involved and is not done on a whim).

If your father in law filed for your green card, he's liable for supporting you till you are a citizen, so not only can you move out without fear, you can ask him in court to pay for it, since he signed the affidavit that he would provide for you.

Great point, that AOS 864 can really bite you in the butt sometimes....this is a perfect time to throw that in his face.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Ron and Rhea

[dwightcharles 12]

Even that is not accurate I think sir...my wife had a 2 year card, recently divorced, and her x was constantly threatening to send her back...I helped her educate herself and she self petitioned, had conditions removed and now has her 10 year card.....

Young lady, your step dad is a jerk and a control freak. As others have said, he has NO authority over you either as a parent as you're 21, nor as a person who can send you anywhere. He can't even kick you out of the house, its against the law.

I hate people like your step dad....control freaks bother me a lot, especially trying to take advantage of people who do not know...again, educate yourself as knowledge is power.

HE HAS NO AUTHORITY OVER YOU GUYS.

Thank you sir. Im actually a guy and yes, I do agree with you Knowledge is power. I am so glad I posted on here. Thank you again.

[dwightcharles 12]

Dwightcharles: it is commendable of you to care about your mom and sisters as you've come on here for some support on how to handle things. Well if that isn't the definition of a caring young man... However, remember that if you do nothing, things remain same at the best or get worse, so pull yourself up by your bootstraps and start acting one step at a time.

1) don't look back. Start acting now

2) find a place to start with even though small.

3) come get your sisters or take them with you if your mom agrees to this.

4) your mom may get a wake up call and speak frankly to your step father or he may spontaneously change for the better. If not, chances are that she may in fact come join you guys, but that's her call to make.

5) grab the numerous opportunities in the US, no one can kick you out if you abide by the laws of the land and commit no crime that makes you deportable. You are in the USofA where there are laws and people respect the law of the land.

Thank you. Actually my mom has been planning to move us out so that HE will no longer have to stress and worry about us. All four of us want to move out. I hope it makes him happy. He may not know it but he always made us feel he doesn't want us here.

We will move out and I will tell my mom about this. Thank you guys. These are really great information.

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Thank you sir. Im actually a guy and yes, I do agree with you Knowledge is power. I am so glad I posted on here. Thank you again.

haha, I know you are female...I was speaking to the poster who was saying if you only had the 2 year card you would need help from him to remove conditions...my wife, (not at that time of course), removed her on her own, obviously without any help from her x to be.....and yes you keep on learning, people who think they are smarter than others HATE it when you know more than them...it really gets'em....hahah

[dwightcharles 12]

haha, I know you are female...I was speaking to the poster who was saying if you only had the 2 year card you would need help from him to remove conditions...my wife, (not at that time of course), removed her on her own, obviously without any help from her x to be.....and yes you keep on learning, people who think they are smarter than others HATE it when you know more than them...it really gets'em....hahah

haha. lol but I really am a guy. im pretty sure i am. haha

[Ron and Rhea 42]

haha. lol but I really am a guy. im pretty sure i am. haha

Jeez, haha, my bad....not proof reading...busy chasing our 8 month old daughter all over the house and distracted.....gotcha, dude, hahaha. What I said still applies to male or female....seriously, your step dad has some issues he needs to work out.

[dwightcharles 12]

Jeez, haha, my bad....not proof reading...busy chasing our 8 month old daughter all over the house and distracted.....gotcha, dude, hahaha. What I said still applies to male or female....seriously, your step dad has some issues he needs to work out.

hahaha. aaaw. thats so sweet!!! father and daughter bonding.

Yeah. Thank you, again.

[Brit Abroad 166]

One of the things that always worries me is that SOME people believe they "own" a foreign spouse, simply because they sponsored the immigration process. This is so horribly wrong, and it opens up many avenues for exploitation and abuse of immigrants who don't know the law or their rights within the law, and it keeps them trapped in abusive situations.

Anyone who immigrates has the right to be happy, to be safe from abuse and persecution, whether it comes in the form of a physical beating or emotional tyranny. Marriage should be about love, respect and mutual happiness.

You're an adult, you have taken the time to find out your options and sought clarification here. You know what to do and don't need a lecture, but please support your mother and let her know what HER options are.

Even if she's on a 2 year conditional card, if she gets a divorce she can remove conditions herself. The only proof needed is that the marriage was entered into in good faith. Do not let her be kept in an unhappy situation because she (wrongly) fears deportation.

Hopefully things will get better for your family.

Edited January 21, 2014 by Brit Abroad

[dwightcharles 12]

One of the things that always worries me is that SOME people believe they "own" a foreign spouse, simply because they sponsored the immigration process. This is so horribly wrong, and it opens up many avenues for exploitation and abuse of immigrants who don't know the law or their rights within the law, and it keeps them trapped in abusive situations.

Anyone who immigrates has the right to be happy, to be safe from abuse and persecution, whether it comes in the form of a physical beating or emotional tyranny. Marriage should be about love, respect and mutual happiness.

You're an adult, you have taken the time to find out your options and sought clarification here. You know what to do and don't need a lecture, but please support your mother and let her know what HER options are.

Even if she's on a 2 year conditional card, if she gets a divorce she can remove conditions herself. The only proof needed is that the marriage was entered into in good faith. Do not let her be kept in an unhappy situation because she (wrongly) fears deportation.

Hopefully things will get better for your family.

Thank you.

I just talked to my mom today. I told her about this. We will definitely act on it asap. She does have a 10 year visa though.

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Thanks Dwight....yea my baby and I are real close....I have three grown daughters actually, 1/2 Filipina's....and of course my baby, same same.

[dwightcharles 12]

Thanks Dwight....yea my baby and I are real close....I have three grown daughters actually, 1/2 Filipina's....and of course my baby, same same.

Wow. thats so great, three girls. They must be very pretty.

Theyre so blessed to have you as their dad.

[rhein 451]

So I just moved to the US in 2012 along with my other siblings. I currently have a green card and I am a permanent resident. Since I got here, I didn't really like my stepdad. I tried to look through his flaws but it just made me hate him even more. :C

He shouts at my mom. He complains about almost everything, including bills to why there's no more ice cream in the fridge. I just do not get it. I am 22 and I really want to move out of this house. I just don't get it. I am already working and I earn around $780 biweekly. I give him $250 biweekly for my share in this house and so does my sister. We pay for our own things, from deo to shampoo to lunch for work. He still complains in our face about bills and all that. He whines about the miles on his car, the gas, and all that.

My mom works really hard. She has a tough and challenging job and when she gets home, she even cooks a separate dinner for him and serves him. The whole day he's just playing in the computer. He shouts a lot to my mom and it hurts and annoys me. I wish I could do something but I havent really gotten past my boiling point yet to stand up for her.

There's just so many things already that he's done that made us cry, my mom, my sisters, even my younger brother. There was also one time, we had pork roast for dinner and I had ketchup with it, he went like "Now I just feel like you are insulting me. Ketchup is meant to be used for cheap meats." and then when my younger sister explained how we like to use ketchup in the Philippines, he said this: "That's because you're poor in the Philippines!" and that was it for me. I just hated him so much after that. He also accused us just recently of stealing $20 from his little bank box and we're like WHAT THE?!!!? WHY WOULD I STILL $20 from youuuuu!!!????? why would we still $20 PERIOD???? and he warned us that no one can ever enter their room or else "there would be hell to pay."

And also my mom has been crying because of him a lot lately and since my mom cannot really confront him, my step dad thinks that we are the one who are making her cry.

I am just soooo tired of it. So we are no longer talking to him. When he asks us question, of course, we do respond but other than that we're cold and we just hate him.

And just tonight, my sister told me that she learned from my mom that my stepdad is threatening to send us back to the Philippines because were no longer talking to him.

Can he actually do that? My mom filed the petition and not him. Do you guys think that he can actually do this to us?

I'm just like tired of it. I feel like I am better off moving out and renting my own apartment rather than being here in his house and I feel miserable.

Thank you.

He can't send you back.

You should all get out of there, he sounds like a complete a-hole.

Was it banana ketchup? I love banana ketchup, the tomato kind, not so much. But what kind of controlling lunatic cares what type of condiments someone else uses?

[dwightcharles 12]

He can't send you back.

You should all get out of there, he sounds like a complete a-hole.

Was it banana ketchup? I love banana ketchup, the tomato kind, not so much. But what kind of controlling lunatic cares what type of condiments someone else uses?

Twas Heinz Tomato Ketchup. LOL Now talking about it, its actually kinda funny hahaha

Yeah, he can be such an A-hole sometimes. But yeah...

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Wow. thats so great, three girls. They must be very pretty.

Theyre so blessed to have you as their dad.

The are indeed and our little one is amazing as well...we are constantly getting stopped by people trying to talk to her and comment how cute she is...haha. Thanks for your kind words and stay strong and do well in life, you have great opportunity here and I think you know that.