Civil vs Church Marriage in the Philippines

[xwind 10]

Hi, I'm a US citizen and my fiance and I plan on getting married in the Philippines as soon as her Annulment case is done. We chose to do this (vs a fiance visa) because she wants a church wedding where her family can attend before I bring her and our son to the US. I have a couple questions about what to do:

1) As a non-filipino citizen, it is required that I get a "Affidavit In Lieu of Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry" before applying for a marriage license. My question is how long is that affidavit valid for?

I ask this because I don't think we'll be able to get married until late 2014, and since I'm going on vacation there next month, I thought that I could get my affidavit ready so that I don't have to worry about it when I go there to get married. It's hard to take long vacations off work so time is important.

2) What is better: Church wedding OR Civil wedding followed up by a church wedding?

I will only be in the Philippines for 3-4 weeks. But when I return to the US, I want to start her Spouse Visa process so I NEED to bring back a legal marriage certificate.

I worry about how long a church wedding takes because it requires additional stuff like canonical interview, pre-wedding seminars, and some wait times... I figure if Civil is the faster way to get our marriage certificate then we can just follow-up a church wedding hopefully before I leave (that way I have wedding photos as additional evidence for the visa). However, if it takes the same time to get a marriage certificate then we'll just do the Church and not worry about Civil.

[Ryan H 3,796]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to Philippines regional forum; topic is country specific.

[RedPepper 9]

Well, there are a few you have not mentioned like which region she comes from? City or province? Or how well your wife-to-be is connected, or how well they play along and get around amidst all the bureacracy here.

Civil or church wedding papers' "speedy" production may depend on those among others. Civil weddings are usually faster.

For quickies, all you need is the help of a lawyer friend to help find you a judge or the city mayor to wed you. Or if well connected, to the judge directly or mayor directly. It is easier to comply for pre and post requisites--since it is easier for them to give consideration to you as a foreigner, thus, you can have your papers on hand faster.

The tricky part is getting your marriage certificate registered at the NSO--6 months to reflect in their system--that long for that yellow green security paper required by the USCIS to NVC and the local Consulate.

Church or civil. Again there maybe possible shortcuts--be sure to talk to the local civil registrar what they can do to help you expedite the official wedding cert with the NSO. Mine took 1 week, but I had to work with the bureacracy and paid "help" from the inside went directly to NSO and handed our wedding cert to that contact and got an official print out right away. Like i said, depends on how big the region is and how people respond to "paki-usap"--direct translation not available but may be close to "begging" and "asking favors" and "i-owe-you-one" sort of communication skills.

If you are getting married in the province, the whole town will come invited or not. Lol

City girl? Then maybe it won't be a problem budgetwise given she is not closely knit with the whole extended family.

Looks like you are both ready for the expenses...$1k minimum for a civil wedding budget versus the minimum $10k church wedding.

Well, church wedding--your wife can discuss your situation to them--depending on how deep the "bureaucracy" if there is ever--can be quite long or it can be as easy as the civil wedding.

Really depends on the region and how well your wife is connected, if not connected, how "snappy" they can be at getting things done.

The thing is, if she is in a provincial region, she will be married to a foreigner and a lot has the notion that you are $$$, many will expect lavish and if their (people around) expectations are not met, your wife's family will be talk of the town and will lose face. In the highlands northward of the philippines, church weddings could take weeks! Requiring a certain number of cows and pigs and and and...butchered everyday! No kidding.

So this part, you have to discuss with your wife-to-be, expectations and all.

I helped organize a friend's wedding once. It was a shock to the groom how much they have spent. The bride's family also loaned left and right--in secret--to satisfy cultural requirements. Been 2 years now and the family is still paying them off and they are not even halfway there. The groom, to this day, does not realize how much his wife's family is in debt to the neck up because of that wedding. Imagine? They couldn't even afford to buy a simple light bulb for the bathroom because there were lots to pay off.

Not to discourage you, but just an eye opener. But nothing is as complicated if you both have laid down your cards. It's all about communication--with your wife-to-be and her family.

Note: don't bank on what your bride tells you alone, for all you know she is keeping info from you to "protect" you because SOME closed-minded people will expect you are a "god" and that could get her and her family into trouble.

Hope it helps.

You might want to check this out:

http://www.philippine-wedding.com/weddingpreparation/churchorcivilwedding

Edited January 16, 2014 by RedPepper

[Caryh 5,206]

It sounds like she is getting a civil annulment. If she was married in a catholic church before, she may not be allowed to be married in a catholic church again unless she gets a catholic annulment to. Also the catholic church is going to want to see your baptism certificate and confirmation certificate. Different religion? There's another issue. Previous marriage for you? That can be an issue with the church to. Those are things she'd need to talk with her church about. Depending on the church, and other things you mentioned makes it sound like its the Catholic church, can throw some headaches in your path. Much would depend on her parish and their local rules.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Hi, I'm a US citizen and my fiance and I plan on getting married in the Philippines as soon as her Annulment case is done. We chose to do this (vs a fiance visa) because she wants a church wedding where her family can attend before I bring her and our son to the US. I have a couple questions about what to do:

1) As a non-filipino citizen, it is required that I get a "Affidavit In Lieu of Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry" before applying for a marriage license. My question is how long is that affidavit valid for?

I ask this because I don't think we'll be able to get married until late 2014, and since I'm going on vacation there next month, I thought that I could get my affidavit ready so that I don't have to worry about it when I go there to get married. It's hard to take long vacations off work so time is important.

2) What is better: Church wedding OR Civil wedding followed up by a church wedding?

I will only be in the Philippines for 3-4 weeks. But when I return to the US, I want to start her Spouse Visa process so I NEED to bring back a legal marriage certificate.

I worry about how long a church wedding takes because it requires additional stuff like canonical interview, pre-wedding seminars, and some wait times... I figure if Civil is the faster way to get our marriage certificate then we can just follow-up a church wedding hopefully before I leave (that way I have wedding photos as additional evidence for the visa). However, if it takes the same time to get a marriage certificate then we'll just do the Church and not worry about Civil.

I kinda had the same issue. There is a 10 day wait after you file, then the marriage certificate is issued and good for only 120 days. Yes it is required.

You can with some degree of certainty forget a Catholic church wedding

I did the K-1 route (lot less hassle) . Then about 10 months later we flew back and had a nice wedding for friends and family.Since we filed the married abroad with the Philippine embassy, they had a record of our Marriage. we found a local Methodist pastor to do the wedding. No paperwork required. It was so easy.

Although very remote chance, what if you got married in the Pi and she got denied for some obscure reason.

Just my 2cents, K-1 is the best way to go, for many reasons

[xwind 10]

Well, there are a few you have not mentioned like which region she comes from? City or province? Or how well your wife-to-be is connected, or how well they play along and get around amidst all the bureacracy here.

Civil or church wedding papers' "speedy" production may depend on those among others. Civil weddings are usually faster.

For quickies, all you need is the help of a lawyer friend to help find you a judge or the city mayor to wed you. Or if well connected, to the judge directly or mayor directly. It is easier to comply for pre and post requisites--since it is easier for them to give consideration to you as a foreigner, thus, you can have your papers on hand faster.

The tricky part is getting your marriage certificate registered at the NSO--6 months to reflect in their system--that long for that yellow green security paper required by the USCIS to NVC and the local Consulate.

Church or civil. Again there maybe possible shortcuts--be sure to talk to the local civil registrar what they can do to help you expedite the official wedding cert with the NSO. Mine took 1 week, but I had to work with the bureacracy and paid "help" from the inside went directly to NSO and handed our wedding cert to that contact and got an official print out right away. Like i said, depends on how big the region is and how people respond to "paki-usap"--direct translation not available but may be close to "begging" and "asking favors" and "i-owe-you-one" sort of communication skills.

If you are getting married in the province, the whole town will come invited or not. Lol

City girl? Then maybe it won't be a problem budgetwise given she is not closely knit with the whole extended family.

Looks like you are both ready for the expenses...$1k minimum for a civil wedding budget versus the minimum $10k church wedding.

Well, church wedding--your wife can discuss your situation to them--depending on how deep the "bureaucracy" if there is ever--can be quite long or it can be as easy as the civil wedding.

Really depends on the region and how well your wife is connected, if not connected, how "snappy" they can be at getting things done.

The thing is, if she is in a provincial region, she will be married to a foreigner and a lot has the notion that you are $$$, many will expect lavish and if their (people around) expectations are not met, your wife's family will be talk of the town and will lose face. In the highlands northward of the philippines, church weddings could take weeks! Requiring a certain number of cows and pigs and and and...butchered everyday! No kidding.

So this part, you have to discuss with your wife-to-be, expectations and all.

I helped organize a friend's wedding once. It was a shock to the groom how much they have spent. The bride's family also loaned left and right--in secret--to satisfy cultural requirements. Been 2 years now and the family is still paying them off and they are not even halfway there. The groom, to this day, does not realize how much his wife's family is in debt to the neck up because of that wedding. Imagine? They couldn't even afford to buy a simple light bulb for the bathroom because there were lots to pay off.

Not to discourage you, but just an eye opener. But nothing is as complicated if you both have laid down your cards. It's all about communication--with your wife-to-be and her family.

Note: don't bank on what your bride tells you alone, for all you know she is keeping info from you to "protect" you because SOME closed-minded people will expect you are a "god" and that could get her and her family into trouble.

Hope it helps.

You might want to check this out:

http://www.philippine-wedding.com/weddingpreparation/churchorcivilwedding

Thanks for the detailed response! I actually grew up in the Phils. so I'm fluent in the language and know my way around. I've known my wife-to-be since childhood, got separated for a few years, then when we got back together, we had to deal with this darn annulment case of hers that's been going for the past 6 years now.. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel so I'm starting to plan what's the best way to bring her here.

My wife-to-be and her family live in Cebu City so I'm guessing that's where we'll marry. She's not very well connected but we know some people and lawyers that may be able to help I think.

I agree with you on the money deal, for some reason they think money grows on trees in the US. I'm not going to give in to any cultural or parental demands though, I'm on a tight budget and I'm covering it all, so they get to play by my rules. We already agreed on a simple wedding at a local church and a reception at some local buffet, family and close-friends only. I'm not trying to satisfy anyone but the wife, it'll be her going-away party before I steal her

6 months to get it registered in NSO? Whoa! That may take even longer if we're getting married in Cebu as they have to pass the info to Manila still.. Yours took 1 week, and that's with good connections.. For some reason I don't think I'll be able to do all that within 3-4 weeks of me being there: apply for license, 10 day wait, wedding, register the cert. at the local registrar and NSO.

[teddy k 35]

Hi, i got married in phil on dec24th by the pastor of her local church, this is how we did our wedding preparations, first i made an appointment online with the u.s.embassy expect to wait like 2 hrs to get the marriage of legal capitacity, but the man thing is send your girl plenty of money to get everything done on her end, then you have a 10 day waiting period so you have to run around town with her to get all of your paperwork done it alot of work then just enjoy yourselfs and good luck on your journey, plus if your wifes family knows people you get to move things faster.

[xwind 10]

It sounds like she is getting a civil annulment. If she was married in a catholic church before, she may not be allowed to be married in a catholic church again unless she gets a catholic annulment to. Also the catholic church is going to want to see your baptism certificate and confirmation certificate. Different religion? There's another issue. Previous marriage for you? That can be an issue with the church to. Those are things she'd need to talk with her church about. Depending on the church, and other things you mentioned makes it sound like its the Catholic church, can throw some headaches in your path. Much would depend on her parish and their local rules.

We're both catholic and I'm single with a clean record We're going to wait until her annulment case is completely finished before we get married.

I kinda had the same issue. There is a 10 day wait after you file, then the marriage certificate is issued and good for only 120 days. Yes it is required.

You can with some degree of certainty forget a Catholic church wedding

I did the K-1 route (lot less hassle) . Then about 10 months later we flew back and had a nice wedding for friends and family.Since we filed the married abroad with the Philippine embassy, they had a record of our Marriage. we found a local Methodist pastor to do the wedding. No paperwork required. It was so easy.

Although very remote chance, what if you got married in the Pi and she got denied for some obscure reason.

Just my 2cents, K-1 is the best way to go, for many reasons

That's one of my fears, that we get married in the Pi, register everything legally...but then somehow get denied at her interview! Hopefully my lawyer can handle this..

Isn't K-1 more difficult than Spousal visa? Because they want to make sure that you are a legitimate couple. I figured if we were married over there, then the Spousal interview might not be as bad, and they may even grant us a Green card on the spot...

Oh, I didn't know you could do that.. K-1, get married in US, then get married again in the Philippines. Hmm I'll have to take that into consideration..

[JbTin 51]

We were able to do the wedding in 19days from the time my husband arrived in the Philippines. As soon as he arrived, we went to the US consulate in cebu and got his affidavit (no appointment needed, just walk-in). We were able to get it in less than an hour. Then we went to the local registrar to apply for the marriage license and attended the seminar. We applied on the 6th and got it on the 19th. Got married on the 24th. He flew back to the states the 25th lol

of course if you do the civil you can just bring the license right away to the officiant and get married, so that may be faster. But if you do church, you can also talk to the priest/pastor if it is possible that you give the license to them the day before the scheduled date of your wedding. We gave our pastor a heads up about this, if we can give him the license on the 23rd and get married the 24th and he was ok with it. Luckily, our license was released earlier.

We probly spent around $4000 for the wedding (dresses, giveaways, invitations, photo shoots, photo/video coverage, church, reception/hotel, etc, everything) and that was for 100 guests, and it was a decent, formal, fairy tale kind of wedding lol.

As for the wedding certificate, we got our NSO copy about 45days after we got married. But we didnt want to wait that long so we just submitted the certified true copy from the local registrar to USCIS.

I suggest you think things over with your fiancee, and start planning ahead if you wanna go with the spousal route. Call, make inquiries to the church and other offices for requirements etc.. BUT....i think it's easier (and faster) if you choose k1 and just have a second wedding in the Phils later on

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

We're both catholic and I'm single with a clean record We're going to wait until her annulment case is completely finished before we get married.

That's one of my fears, that we get married in the Pi, register everything legally...but then somehow get denied at her interview! Hopefully my lawyer can handle this..

Isn't K-1 more difficult than Spousal visa? Because they want to make sure that you are a legitimate couple. I figured if we were married over there, then the Spousal interview might not be as bad, and they may even grant us a Green card on the spot...

Oh, I didn't know you could do that.. K-1, get married in US, then get married again in the Philippines. Hmm I'll have to take that into consideration..

I think several here have done just that. I promised her family I would marry her as soon as she got here, because they did not like the idea of her shacking up. I did.

We just had the legal wedding here and the ceremony there. No hassle at all. Having a wedding in Cebu if you are already married is no issue at all. You need Zero paper work, it's basically just celebration.

We used a venue in Talisay that was really nice and had it catered.The Pastor came to the venue and did it.Really really ceremony with birds etc. The whole Pinoy 9 yards. Set me back about 2K for everything.including dress rentals etc. There is a store in Cebu that will rent all the dresses etc.

As for the K-1..Fairly easy and quick. About 4 months from application to her arrival here.

From what i read it's less hassle than the other route.

Edited January 17, 2014 by The Nature Boy

[rlogan 2,036]

Isn't K-1 more difficult than Spousal visa? Because they want to make sure that you are a legitimate couple. I figured if we were married over there, then the Spousal interview might not be as bad, and they may even grant us a Green card on the spot...

No. The K-1 is not harder, and the risk it avoids is exactly what you cite: getting married to someone who then can't enter.

You can do a ceremony that is non-official in the Philippines for her family and friends. We talked to a few of their shaman from the superstition they practice there called Catholicism, but they would not do a non-official ceremony. So we did a ceremony in a waterpark, officiated by her father for about $50.

I spent around $10 thousand on materials to build a small two-story house though, and built it with her father, brothers, and uncles while I was staying there. That house is going to last a hundred years so this is one of the really important distinctions between Americano thinking vs. Filipino. They are big-time into squandering money for every fool thing. Ceremonies for graduating 6th grade, parades, huge birthday parties, and yes of course a wedding with an Americano. Your two thousand dollar wedding is more than enough to pay for Merchant Marine school that we put one of her brothers through. It will bring dividends for at least two generations.

There are some things in a culture to cherish and there are others that are detrimental, like say cannibalism, incest, human sacrifice, etc. as extreme examples. Their "culture" or "traditions" are sometimes exactly what is wrong with them and if fixed will result in the things they long for in Americano culture. Like say a house. Or a college education. Blowing a bunch of money on a wedding when these are serious alternatives is foolish. It is wise that you are limiting the amount you spend and not falling into the trap of the big wedding.

One of the really bad things that does is establish the precedent that you are the font of free money, big money, to shower on all manner of things whenever someone can think up a reason. I arrived too late to put a stop to the big birthday party my wife pulled off for one of our sons here and the second son's birthday is now approaching with the obvious impending unfairness of him not getting the same big public party. But it isn't going to happen. The first one was a mistake and we are not going to make the same mistake again. The money needs to go for things of lasting value instead of Filipino blow-it-all parties.

They do not believe money grows on trees in the US, by the way. That is instead a self-serving manipulative framing they use to justify exactly the OPPOSITE: they want money to grow on trees for THEMSELVES, so they use guilt-tripping and shaming tactics to say how unfair it is that you have all this money and they don't. So give me free money. This is again one of the things very wrong about some subcultures in the Philippines. It is precisely that attitude that impedes wealth creation.

[xwind 10]

We were able to do the wedding in 19days from the time my husband arrived in the Philippines. As soon as he arrived, we went to the US consulate in cebu and got his affidavit (no appointment needed, just walk-in). We were able to get it in less than an hour. Then we went to the local registrar to apply for the marriage license and attended the seminar. We applied on the 6th and got it on the 19th. Got married on the 24th. He flew back to the states the 25th lol

of course if you do the civil you can just bring the license right away to the officiant and get married, so that may be faster. But if you do church, you can also talk to the priest/pastor if it is possible that you give the license to them the day before the scheduled date of your wedding. We gave our pastor a heads up about this, if we can give him the license on the 23rd and get married the 24th and he was ok with it. Luckily, our license was released earlier.

We probly spent around $4000 for the wedding (dresses, giveaways, invitations, photo shoots, photo/video coverage, church, reception/hotel, etc, everything) and that was for 100 guests, and it was a decent, formal, fairy tale kind of wedding lol.

As for the wedding certificate, we got our NSO copy about 45days after we got married. But we didnt want to wait that long so we just submitted the certified true copy from the local registrar to USCIS.

I suggest you think things over with your fiancee, and start planning ahead if you wanna go with the spousal route. Call, make inquiries to the church and other offices for requirements etc.. BUT....i think it's easier (and faster) if you choose k1 and just have a second wedding in the Phils later on

I'm a bit confused by your last paragraph. At first you explain that you did the wedding in 19 days and submitted the certified copy to USCIS...which I assumed was all for a Spousal visa application. Sounds like you didn't have too much of a hard time granted you planned everything out ahead of time... But then in the end you say that you recommend K1 instead?

[Nonofurbusiness 13]

Thanks for the detailed response! I actually grew up in the Phils. so I'm fluent in the language and know my way around. I've known my wife-to-be since childhood, got separated for a few years, then when we got back together, we had to deal with this darn annulment case of hers that's been going for the past 6 years now.. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel so I'm starting to plan what's the best way to bring her here.

My wife-to-be and her family live in Cebu City so I'm guessing that's where we'll marry. She's not very well connected but we know some people and lawyers that may be able to help I think.

I agree with you on the money deal, for some reason they think money grows on trees in the US. I'm not going to give in to any cultural or parental demands though, I'm on a tight budget and I'm covering it all, so they get to play by my rules. We already agreed on a simple wedding at a local church and a reception at some local buffet, family and close-friends only. I'm not trying to satisfy anyone but the wife, it'll be her going-away party before I steal her

6 months to get it registered in NSO? Whoa! That may take even longer if we're getting married in Cebu as they have to pass the info to Manila still.. Yours took 1 week, and that's with good connections.. For some reason I don't think I'll be able to do all that within 3-4 weeks of me being there: apply for license, 10 day wait, wedding, register the cert. at the local registrar and NSO.

Yes, regular waiting time .is 6 months... so that the NSO will enter your marriage record on their data based coz of the volume of marriage each day. but i know a quickest way..for them to manually input the marriage record on their system...

[JbTin 51]

I'm a bit confused by your last paragraph. At first you explain that you did the wedding in 19 days and submitted the certified copy to USCIS...which I assumed was all for a Spousal visa application. Sounds like you didn't have too much of a hard time granted you planned everything out ahead of time... But then in the end you say that you recommend K1 instead?

Lol sorry, i meant to say that when it comes to getting her to the US, k1 is the better option. Sure, our wedding planning and i-130 submission went well but it's the whole waiting game that sucks. Imagine being separated from your spouse for a year or even more.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Lol sorry, i meant to say that when it comes to getting her to the US, k1 is the better option. Sure, our wedding planning and i-130 submission went well but it's the whole waiting game that sucks. Imagine being separated from your spouse for a year or even more.

I have been told that the I-130 takes a lot longer to process than the K-1.I have no facts to back that up? Maybe some of our more learned member scan chime in

I do know my K-1 took almost exactly 4 months from the day I filed until she touched down. Was easy.

As long as you meet the requirements, income, Cenomar,criminal etc and have your paperwork in order, it is basically an admin process. If all else is good they are not going to spend more than a few mins looking at relationship proof if that.