Reasons for wanting your spouse in USA

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

Just curious, I assume most of you are bringing your spouse over due to still being in the working world. I myself moved to the Philippines thinking no way would I ever bring somebody back to the states, dumb dumb dumb. Well....after 3+ years living in the Philippines I am doing it myself, not for work but because I really like where I purchased a home during the real estate bottom. I liked the Philippines mostly and was also affected by the disasters there. It's a bit hot for me there and I do not like the idea of not being able to own land, not the condo type of guy. ALL of my friends think I am crazy to move back but that is what I have decided. Future healthcare issues living in the PI play into this decision, I am a PhilHealth member, never used it or went to a doctor there but it is a safety net of sorts. I have a child who has his CRBA and passport and all and will be close to excellent schools in the USA

Have you done a pre-nup? I do not know the statistics but my wife is much younger than myself and the chances of a marriage going sour in the USA is much greater than the PI, IMHO. She actually would rather stay in the PI than come to the USA, an anomaly I think. I have a friend who I recommended getting a Filipino wife, he did the Fiance visa and they have been married a year now. He does have issues and has said maybe it was a mistake.

Eyes wide open?

Best of luck to all of us!

[Teripid 5]

I worked for about a year in PH and met my wife during that time. We're very close in age compared to most couples I've seen here (both 30) and in general most Phil-Am couples I've met. Loved the culture, people and nature once you got outside of the cities.

Fast forward a bit and add a change of job and venue and I've found more opportunity back in the US. She's interested in a change of scenery besides what we've already seen together. She wants to experience snow and a lot of new things. Right now at least the US gives us the most opportunity together and I've gotten to see her country and live there for a while as you have. Now I get to show her mine and we can figure it out from there. We talked about it at some great length together before deciding where our next step would be.

She also has a fair number of relatives already living here which will help the transition a lot. I'm assuming that might be a major factor in your wife's wanting to stay in the Philippines. We're still not sure where we'll end up and it depends on what we both are able to do in terms of career but I can see the Philippines as a likely eventually retirement location very long term and frequent spot for trips back in the future. I know she'll miss her family and we've got Skype and a number of things setup for them to help.

Everyone is different and the US itself is extremely varied. Living in California or Florida might be much less adjustment compared to ending up in North Dakota or some other more extreme climates. Certain areas also have larger Filipino communities which can help. The Philippines too has a lot of variety. Check out Baguio to see a really nice moderate climate in the mountains about 6 hours from Manila.

Pre-nup? Nope. I don't have huge amounts of property and we're together as equals so it wasn't really a question. She's actually finishing out a pretty decent management job as we're waiting for the paperwork. I still remember the first trip we took together where she insisted on paying 1/2 of everything. The chances of a marriage not working in the Philippines is likely to be misleading based on how hard it is to get a divorce too. I've known co-workers trapped in pretty terrible marriages, perpetually single or extremely long-term with someone but not married. Of course there are plenty of happy, great couples out there too that I've met. Just saying there's not a bed of roses in every case or likely that significantly different among similar individuals and also extremely hard to measure.

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

I worked for about a year in PH and met my wife during that time. We're very close in age compared to most couples I've seen here (both 30) and in general most Phil-Am couples I've met. Loved the culture, people and nature once you got outside of the cities.

Fast forward a bit and add a change of job and venue and I've found more opportunity back in the US. She's interested in a change of scenery besides what we've already seen together. She wants to experience snow and a lot of new things. Right now at least the US gives us the most opportunity together and I've gotten to see her country and live there for a while as you have. Now I get to show her mine and we can figure it out from there. We talked about it at some great length together before deciding where our next step would be.

She also has a fair number of relatives already living here which will help the transition a lot. I'm assuming that might be a major factor in your wife's wanting to stay in the Philippines. We're still not sure where we'll end up and it depends on what we both are able to do in terms of career but I can see the Philippines as a likely eventually retirement location very long term and frequent spot for trips back in the future. I know she'll miss her family and we've got Skype and a number of things setup for them to help.

Everyone is different and the US itself is extremely varied. Living in California or Florida might be much less adjustment compared to ending up in North Dakota or some other more extreme climates. Certain areas also have larger Filipino communities which can help. The Philippines too has a lot of variety. Check out Baguio to see a really nice moderate climate in the mountains about 6 hours from Manila.

Pre-nup? Nope. I don't have huge amounts of property and we're together as equals so it wasn't really a question. She's actually finishing out a pretty decent management job as we're waiting for the paperwork. I still remember the first trip we took together where she insisted on paying 1/2 of everything. The chances of a marriage not working in the Philippines is likely to be misleading based on how hard it is to get a divorce too. I've known co-workers trapped in pretty terrible marriages, perpetually single or extremely long-term with someone but not married. Of course there are plenty of happy, great couples out there too that I've met. Just saying there's not a bed of roses in every case or likely that significantly different among similar individuals and also extremely hard to measure.

So yourself having lived in the Philippines is probably not as common as most I would assume. With your age being close and it sounds like your wife has a good education and you approached all this in a smart and positive way.

I have been married to my wife for over 2 years now and have a beautiful son with her. Times living in the PI have not always been easy but that is normal I would think. Having a child in my situation helped. That being said for those with a more significant age difference, such as the guy starting his second marriage with a younger Filipina she will most always want a child, something that would put a strain on a long term relationship if the man is incapable or does not want children. My friend's wife who he did the K1 route (he spent a lot of time with her in the PI) would like a child very much but he does not. I also have a friend who is in the PI for a year who has found his mate and is planning on bringing her back, she wants to have a child NOW.

Once my family makes it to the states and if she does not like it I am willing to move back over, to a place like Baguio (never been) or maybe even Bukidnon Province in Mindanao. I just hate being where it is so hot and cannot cool down, such as after the Typhoon I had 18 days straight with no electric, sleep was minimal and beer was off the menu, SM does not taste good hot.

My residence is in a good area, very beautiful place with a small community of Fil-Am couples as my friend has joined the group. I did do a pre-nup as she has nothing and if things went sour I can't see myself starting over again. I am hoping I will have them here within a few months, I was expecting they would have been here in October, could have missed the earthquake/typhoon mess, that would have been nice.

Good luck to all and a happy life!

[Hank_ 9,173]

So yourself having lived in the Philippines is probably not as common as most I would assume. With your age being close and it sounds like your wife has a good education and you approached all this in a smart and positive way.

I have been married to my wife for over 2 years now and have a beautiful son with her. Times living in the PI have not always been easy but that is normal I would think. Having a child in my situation helped. That being said for those with a more significant age difference, such as the guy starting his second marriage with a younger Filipina she will most always want a child, something that would put a strain on a long term relationship if the man is incapable or does not want children. My friend's wife who he did the K1 route (he spent a lot of time with her in the PI) would like a child very much but he does not. I also have a friend who is in the PI for a year who has found his mate and is planning on bringing her back, she wants to have a child NOW.

Once my family makes it to the states and if she does not like it I am willing to move back over, to a place like Baguio (never been) or maybe even Bukidnon Province in Mindanao. I just hate being where it is so hot and cannot cool down, such as after the Typhoon I had 18 days straight with no electric, sleep was minimal and beer was off the menu, SM does not taste good hot.

My residence is in a good area, very beautiful place with a small community of Fil-Am couples as my friend has joined the group. I did do a pre-nup as she has nothing and if things went sour I can't see myself starting over again. I am hoping I will have them here within a few months, I was expecting they would have been here in October, could have missed the earthquake/typhoon mess, that would have been nice.

Good luck to all and a happy life!

Being you are living in the Philippines, are you doing the DCF route (Direct Consulate Filing), the whole process is extremely fast compared (a couple months at most) ?

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

Being you are living in the Philippines, are you doing the DCF route (Direct Consulate Filing), the whole process is extremely fast compared (a couple months at most) ?

Ha...I used a service, office is right across the rd from USEM. They knew at the time nothing of DCF, maybe the USCIS office was not open there yet (mid march). I am not happy with this and have waited so much longer. I questioned them about it after I found Visajourney...grrr. I came to the USA and remodeled my home over the summer, when they predicted I would get the NOA2, haha...I did not get it till I asked for the expedite after being back in the PI for 3 months. Long story short I have wasted a lot of time and money by not finding VJ sooner.

Being back in the states I am actually having a hard time readjusting, the reverse culture shock. Hope the wife can pull thru it when she gets her visa. I have only been back a week, takes some time...plus missing my family.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Ha...I used a service, office is right across the rd from USEM. They knew at the time nothing of DCF, maybe the USCIS office was not open there yet (mid march). I am not happy with this and have waited so much longer. I questioned them about it after I found Visajourney...grrr. I came to the USA and remodeled my home over the summer, when they predicted I would get the NOA2, haha...I did not get it till I asked for the expedite after being back in the PI for 3 months. Long story short I have wasted a lot of time and money by not finding VJ sooner.

Being back in the states I am actually having a hard time readjusting, the reverse culture shock. Hope the wife can pull thru it when she gets her visa. I have only been back a week, takes some time...plus missing my family.

Ouch!! Sounds like who ever you are using is "clueless in Manila" , USCIS has a section./office at the embassy (always has). There is no NOA2 or BS like that... I know of a couples that from "get to gone" was about 30 days and they were done with everything and waiting for delivery of the passport w/visa. Friends of ours just completed the DCF process last year and have been here since last fall.

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

Ouch!! Sounds like who ever you are using is "clueless in Manila" , USCIS has a section./office at the embassy (always has). There is no NOA2 or BS like that... I know of a couples that from "get to gone" was about 30 days and they were done with everything and waiting for delivery of the passport w/visa. Friends of ours just completed the DCF process last year and have been here since last fall.

Thats what I told the service I used, Why oh why have you wasted my time and money. Maybe there is a reason for everything that happens in life, but I could have had her here in May most likely. I waited for my childs CRBA and passport, another SNAFU due to their incorrect entry of my email address so I lost 2 months on that too.

My time living in the PI is priceless for sure and I may just go back there. One piece of advice that I cannot seem to follow is make a decision and stick with it, as in figure out where you want to settle and build upon that.

Why I started this post was I was curious why and how someone that has met a few times doing a K1 or married a few months and then being apart waiting for their visa really have any idea what what the future holds for them. I have met soooo many people that do fine living the PI lifestyle, maybe because of their financial situations or whatever but bringing that life back to their home country wherever it may be is much different, Filipinos in general are some of the nicest people I have known, but there is a cultural difference that takes awhile to understand....I have changed my sarcastic humor and open say whatever I think at the moment to a more conservative "think about what I am saying" approach cause they do not understand...can get you in big trouble.

[SennaBrigante 92]

Personally I would prefer to live in PH but my USC husband will have none of it. He's never even been outside the US! I do think that he'll have a hard time adjusting here because of the climate and how wild the streets can be for motorists but other small stuff like restaurant service, food delivery and all the buffet places that don't just serve Chinese food, he'll get a kick out of those.

I visited and stayed with him in Texas mid last year and it wasn't so difficult a transition as we anticipated. It wasn't awkward or anything but it was definitely hard for me to adjust to not having my kitchenware on hand lol. I missed my mom and dogs terribly, I would cry a lot, when I got hungry and we didn't have anything in the fridge or pantry I had to wait for him to come home to buy food since there was no public transit in our small town. I didn't know anyone there. It was largely a Mexican town and we were outsiders. I only saw 4 other Asians the whole time I was there so it was incredibly lonely while my husband was at work. I did a lot of Facebook games to pass the time and get over homesickness.

She might get more combative, argumentative or generally difficult but understand that it's super hard being away from the family you're super close to and everything else you're used to. And with us Filipinas we feel as if building the home environment falls on our shoulders so there's the pressure of that.

I'm currently 7 months pregnant so once this CR1 happens and I get a CRBA and passport for our daughter we're flying back to Texas to be with my husband. I'm excited but also dreading being away from my family but there's no other way. I just hope to be able to visit home at least once a year.

As far as pre-nup goes, we don't really need one. We don't have that much money to begin with and we keep our money still separate pretty much. When I need financial help from him I'll let him know and vice-versa. He pays for rent and all the bills and I help out with the groceries.

My friend also did the DCF route and it only took them a month but they have a baby together which may have helped their case.

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

Personally I would prefer to live in PH but my USC husband will have none of it. He's never even been outside the US! I do think that he'll have a hard time adjusting here because of the climate and how wild the streets can be for motorists but other small stuff like restaurant service, food delivery and all the buffet places that don't just serve Chinese food, he'll get a kick out of those.

I visited and stayed with him in Texas mid last year and it wasn't so difficult a transition as we anticipated. It wasn't awkward or anything but it was definitely hard for me to adjust to not having my kitchenware on hand lol. I missed my mom and dogs terribly, I would cry a lot, when I got hungry and we didn't have anything in the fridge or pantry I had to wait for him to come home to buy food since there was no public transit in our small town. I didn't know anyone there. It was largely a Mexican town and we were outsiders. I only saw 4 other Asians the whole time I was there so it was incredibly lonely while my husband was at work. I did a lot of Facebook games to pass the time and get over homesickness.

She might get more combative, argumentative or generally difficult but understand that it's super hard being away from the family you're super close to and everything else you're used to. And with us Filipinas we feel as if building the home environment falls on our shoulders so there's the pressure of that.

I'm currently 7 months pregnant so once this CR1 happens and I get a CRBA and passport for our daughter we're flying back to Texas to be with my husband. I'm excited but also dreading being away from my family but there's no other way. I just hope to be able to visit home at least once a year.

As far as pre-nup goes, we don't really need one. We don't have that much money to begin with and we keep our money still separate pretty much. When I need financial help from him I'll let him know and vice-versa. He pays for rent and all the bills and I help out with the groceries.

My friend also did the DCF route and it only took them a month but they have a baby together which may have helped their case.

So you were able to come to the USA on a tourist visa? Did you marry in the USA? Living in a mostly hispanic area would be a real shocker for most outsiders for sure, IMHO they do not accept other outsiders, more like competitors.

Yes the family issue amongst Filipinos will be her toughest struggle to get through. Where we will live I have no family but I am used to that, never had the strong family bond that most Filipinos have. Too bad you can't get him to spend a few months in the area you live or any other area in the PI. I have never had a bad experience there but have travelled to many places before so I watch my own back as best I can and stay out of situations where trouble could arise. The PI can be a very dangerous place indeed but if you respect and talk and laugh with almost any they will become your friends and watch out for you, I have many Filipino friends who would help me out more than my foreigner friends I believe.

DCF and one month...ahh...if it was still October I would refile and pay the fees and do it, but why oh why has the 'normal' process come to such a slowdown. You are lucky you got expedited and moving quickly. Good chance you will be done with the process and then be waiting for the CRBA for your yet to be born child. Do you have all the docs ready? I'm not sure how that would work actually without your husband being there to file at USEM or Cebu consulate.

[Hank_ 9,173]

So you were able to come to the USA on a tourist visa? Did you marry in the USA? Living in a mostly hispanic area would be a real shocker for most outsiders for sure, IMHO they do not accept other outsiders, more like competitors.

Yes the family issue amongst Filipinos will be her toughest struggle to get through. Where we will live I have no family but I am used to that, never had the strong family bond that most Filipinos have. Too bad you can't get him to spend a few months in the area you live or any other area in the PI. I have never had a bad experience there but have travelled to many places before so I watch my own back as best I can and stay out of situations where trouble could arise. The PI can be a very dangerous place indeed but if you respect and talk and laugh with almost any they will become your friends and watch out for you, I have many Filipino friends who would help me out more than my foreigner friends I believe.

DCF and one month...ahh...if it was still October I would refile and pay the fees and do it, but why oh why has the 'normal' process come to such a slowdown. You are lucky you got expedited and moving quickly. Good chance you will be done with the process and then be waiting for the CRBA for your yet to be born child. Do you have all the docs ready? I'm not sure how that would work actually without your husband being there to file at USEM or Cebu consulate.

USC has to be living there to do the DCF.

If your wife (and you) were affected by Yolanda you could request an expedite.

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

Yes I claim the Philippines as my country of residency and yes was affected by Yolanda. I was expedited by USCIS and now awaiting NVC expedite request. Lived in PI over 3 yrs and married over 2. I just did not know about the DCF...

Back in the states now for a week to quicken the correspodence with the NVC then back to the PI ASAP

[SennaBrigante 92]

So you were able to come to the USA on a tourist visa? Did you marry in the USA? Living in a mostly hispanic area would be a real shocker for most outsiders for sure, IMHO they do not accept other outsiders, more like competitors.

Yes the family issue amongst Filipinos will be her toughest struggle to get through. Where we will live I have no family but I am used to that, never had the strong family bond that most Filipinos have. Too bad you can't get him to spend a few months in the area you live or any other area in the PI. I have never had a bad experience there but have travelled to many places before so I watch my own back as best I can and stay out of situations where trouble could arise. The PI can be a very dangerous place indeed but if you respect and talk and laugh with almost any they will become your friends and watch out for you, I have many Filipino friends who would help me out more than my foreigner friends I believe.

DCF and one month...ahh...if it was still October I would refile and pay the fees and do it, but why oh why has the 'normal' process come to such a slowdown. You are lucky you got expedited and moving quickly. Good chance you will be done with the process and then be waiting for the CRBA for your yet to be born child. Do you have all the docs ready? I'm not sure how that would work actually without your husband being there to file at USEM or Cebu consulate.

Yes! I went to the US on a tourist visa. The original plan was to travel there, satisfy the "must have met each other in person in the past 2 years" requirement of the K1 and then file the petition and go back home to wait it out. As fate would have it though, within several weeks of being with my then bf, I got knocked up so we had to get married to make sure our kid is legitimate in the Philippines. Because labor and delivery wasn't covered by my husband's insurance, we decided to give birth here so it's cheaper. Just hoping that the process will go quick for us so that daddy and baby can meet each other ASAP.

Good luck to all of us! Lol.

Does your wife's parents or siblings have tourist visas? It might make it easier for her to transition if her family was able to visit her in the US.

[Jeff @ Missy 9]

Yes! I went to the US on a tourist visa. The original plan was to travel there, satisfy the "must have met each other in person in the past 2 years" requirement of the K1 and then file the petition and go back home to wait it out. As fate would have it though, within several weeks of being with my then bf, I got knocked up so we had to get married to make sure our kid is legitimate in the Philippines. Because labor and delivery wasn't covered by my husband's insurance, we decided to give birth here so it's cheaper. Just hoping that the process will go quick for us so that daddy and baby can meet each other ASAP.

Good luck to all of us! Lol.

Does your wife's parents or siblings have tourist visas? It might make it easier for her to transition if her family was able to visit her in the US.

Not going to bring any family members over, would be nice for a visit but they are very poor.

So...the CRBA process, not to get off the subject of why bring your spouse to the USA but I would believe he would have to be the one filing at the consulate or embassy or is there other proof that you took back with you (besides a big belly). Would they let you into the consulate/embassy without a USA passport for the CRBA? I had the hassle of proving I was in the country when my child was conceived. I had to go the the BI and get a list of every arrival and departure from the Philippines because I had one unreadable passport stamp. DNA was not required (but i did the cheapo kit anyways). I think the CRBA process was quite a hassle for me to be doing it, I over prepared and a good thing I did, as in filling out forms I thought I did not need (married a month after she got pregnant). I had one friend who took 3 or 4 trips before he had all the papers in order, I was in and out in 1 hour but I spent a lot of time preparing. The wife and I had to swear that all was correct in front of the consular. Then the wait begins, again...but your extremely lucky looking at your filing date for the visa and USCIS approval. over 9 months I been waiting and at least one more to go before I can go back and get her and my child.

Good luck for sure!

[Hank_ 9,173]

Not going to bring any family members over, would be nice for a visit but they are very poor.

So...the CRBA process, not to get off the subject of why bring your spouse to the USA but I would believe he would have to be the one filing at the consulate or embassy or is there other proof that you took back with you (besides a big belly). Would they let you into the consulate/embassy without a USA passport for the CRBA? I had the hassle of proving I was in the country when my child was conceived. I had to go the the BI and get a list of every arrival and departure from the Philippines because I had one unreadable passport stamp. DNA was not required (but i did the cheapo kit anyways). I think the CRBA process was quite a hassle for me to be doing it, I over prepared and a good thing I did, as in filling out forms I thought I did not need (married a month after she got pregnant). I had one friend who took 3 or 4 trips before he had all the papers in order, I was in and out in 1 hour but I spent a lot of time preparing. The wife and I had to swear that all was correct in front of the consular. Then the wait begins, again...but your extremely lucky looking at your filing date for the visa and USCIS approval. over 9 months I been waiting and at least one more to go before I can go back and get her and my child.

Good luck for sure!

Either parent can file CRBA, the embassy likes for the USC to file but not required.

http://manila.usembassy.gov/service/citizenship/first-time-report-of-birth-abroad7.html

http://photos.state.gov/libraries/manila/19452/pdfs/Citizenship%20-%20CRBA%20Checklist%20for%20MANILA%20applicants%20-%20Revised%20July%2012-2013.pdf

[SennaBrigante 92]

I can file for the baby but then there's a lot of extra documents I'll need to bring.

I'm basically just taking the relationship evidence we sent for the I130 because we included there boarding passes, tickets and credit card receipts to prove that I was in Texas. I hope we won't have to do the DNA test because he can't fly here. I'll just bring my prenatal stuff too so I've been organizing them the best I can. We also got married a month after baby was conceived. I hope it won't be too difficult for us. We just want to be together as a family, I'm sure yall understand the sentiment.