Dear Santa

[JanaknJanet 0]

Dear Santa… from Mom

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good mom all year. I was hoping you could spread my list over several Christmases, since I had to write this with my son’s red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows if I’ll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

I’d like a pair of legs that don’t ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color except purple, I already have those) and arms that don’t flap in the breeze, but strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I’d also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says “Yes Mommy” to boost my parental confidence. Please also include a potty-trained toddler; two kids who don’t fight, and three pair of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of a power tool. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, “Don’t eat in the living room” and “ take your hands off your brother,” because my voice seems to be just out of my children’s hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If you’re hauling big ticket items this year I’d like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music. It would also be great to have a television that doesn’t broadcast any programs containing talking animals.

If it were too late to find any of these products, I’d settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being in a Styrofoam container.

Well Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my Son saw my feet under the laundry room door, I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney. Help your self to the cookies on the table, but don’t eat to many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours always,

Mom

[TRKCKL11 0]

now how did you get my list. had to laugh cause i saw some of me in that.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Cute! The only one I disagree with is the shows with talking animals...I love 'Creature Comforts' when it's on BBC America...I think it's hilarious! M.