One conservative's dramatic reversal on gay marriage

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Washington (CNN) -- You probably recognize Sen. Rob Portman from his tireless campaigning for Mitt Romney in 2012. He was even on the short list to be Romney's running mate.

He's been a leading Republican voice on economic issues for four decades.

Now, the prominent Ohio conservative will be known for something else: reversing his hardline position against gay marriage.

He invited CNN to his Senate office to reveal the news.

"I'm announcing today a change of heart on an issue that a lot of people feel strongly about that has to do with gay couples' opportunity to marry," Portman told CNN.

It has to do with another revelation, one deeply personal. His 21-year-old son, Will, is gay.

"I've come to the conclusion that for me, personally, I think this is something that we should allow people to do, to get married, and to have the joy and stability of marriage that I've had for over 26 years. That I want all of my children to have, including our son, who is gay," said Portman.

Will Portman told his father and mother he is gay two years ago, when he was a freshman at Yale University.

"My son came to Jane, my wife, and I, told us that he was gay, and that it was not a choice, and that it's just part of who he is, and that's who he'd been that way for as long as he could remember," said Portman.

What was the Republican senator's reaction?

"Love. Support," responded Portman.

And complete surprise. He told CNN that he never suspected that his son was gay.

Portman says his son, now a junior in college, helped him work through his decision to announce his change in position on gay marriage and blessed the idea of publicly announcing Will Portman's sexuality.

"I think he's happy and, you know, proud that we've come to this point, but he let it be my decision just as you know, it's going to be his decision as to the role he plays going forward in this whole issue," said Portman.

Until now, this was a secret to most people in politics, but not everyone.

Last year, when Romney was vetting Portman to be his running mate, the Ohio Republican informed both Romney and his top campaign advisers that he has a gay son.

"I told Mitt Romney everything," said Portman with a laugh. "That process is, intrusive would be one way to put it. But, no, yeah, I told him everything."

Portman, who was ultimately passed over as the GOP vice-presidential candidate in favor of Rep. Paul Ryan, said the fact that his son is gay was not the deal breaker for Romney. How does he know?

"Well, because they told me," said Portman.

Portman told CNN he sought counsel from a Republican who did serve as vice president: ####### Cheney, the highest-ranking Republican with an openly gay child, his daughter Mary.

"I spoke to him personally; I actually met with him," said Portman.

He said Cheney's advice was simple: "'Follow your heart.'"

"He was a good person to talk to because he also was surprised by the news, in that case, you know, his wonderful daughter, who he loves very much. And it forced him to re-think the issue too, and over time, he changed his view on it," said Portman.

"I followed his advice. You know, I followed my heart," he said.

Though he is a staunch conservative, Portman was never outspoken against gay marriage. But he consistently voted against it.

While in Congress, he supported a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, voted for the Defense of Marriage Act and voted for a bill prohibiting gay couples in Washington from adopting.

In 2011, 100 University of Michigan law school graduates walked out of Portman's commencement address to protest his position on gay rights after circulating a petition trying to get him removed as the event's speaker.

"The decision to host a graduation speaker who is openly hostile to LGBT rights is deeply unfair to the LGBT students who will be in the audience this year celebrating their graduation," read the petition.

Portman admitted that when the protest occurred, he already knew his own son was gay.

"It was a little odd. Look, and to be honest with you, it didn't affect that decision-making much, because it was, I didn't think it was appropriate," Portman said. "But look, they had their freedom of speech rights to be able to do what they wanted to do."

"But you know, what happened to me is really personal. I mean, I hadn't thought a lot about this issue. Again, my focus has been on other issues over my public policy career," said Portman.

Asked about why he is announcing this change of heart, since his son revealed it to him two years ago, Portman cited two reasons. He just recently became comfortable with his decision to shift his position on gay marriage, and also he said he knew the Supreme Court is considering a pair of gay marriage cases, and reporters would likely ask him for his position.

"I thought it was the right time to let folks know where I stand so there's no confusion, so I would be clear about it," said Portman.

What would Portman say to gay constituents who may be glad he's changing his position on gay marriage, but also wondering why it took having a gay son to come around to supporting their rights?

"Well, I would say that, you know, I've had a change of heart based on a personal experience. That's certainly true," he responded with a shoulder shrug.

But he also repeated a reality. His policy focus has been almost exclusively on economic issues.

"Now it's different, you know. I hadn't expected to be in this position. But I do think, you know, having spent a lot of time thinking about it and working through this issue personally that, you know, this is where I am, for reasons that are consistent with my political philosophy, including family values, including being a conservative who believes the family is a building block of society, so I'm comfortable there now."

To be sure, Portman was anything but comfortable discussing something as private and personal as his son's sexuality, even noting how foreign it felt for someone with his Midwestern upbringing and sensibilities to talk publicly about such issues.

At times, the press-savvy politician even seemed to tremble a bit. But it was also clear he was willing to endure the discussion in order to publicly tell his son that he is proud.

"He wanted to tell us that there's something about him that we didn't know," Portman said, reflecting on the day two years ago his son Will first told his parents he was gay.

Portman quickly added that it "of course hasn't changed our view of him at all."

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/15/politics/portman-gay-marriage/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

[decocker 7,198]

it's awesome that portman took such a stance and decided to be vocal about it. shows we're heading the right direction.

[Danno 1,228]

It's long been understood that "conservatism" is a three legged stool.

-Social issues

-Limiting the size of Got'

-Strong Defense.

remove anyone leg and you no longer have a stool.

Wonder what that three legged LIBERAL stool would consist of... and guesses?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

It's long been understood that "conservatism" is a three legged stool.

-Social issues

-Limiting the size of Got'

-Strong Defense.

remove anyone leg and you no longer have a stool.

Wonder what that three legged LIBERAL stool would consist of... and guesses?

If you're curious, perhaps you should start a thread asking that question instead of coming into this one and posting something off topic.

[Danno 1,228]

If you're curious, perhaps you should start a thread asking that question instead of coming into this one and posting something off topic.

Why do that when it is closely related to the definition and topic you used in your title..... anyway why post the question twice if it is already posted here?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Why do that when it is closely related to the definition and topic you used in your title..... anyway why post the question twice if it is already posted here?

It's not related to the story in the article at all. Reported.

My title, by the way, is the title of the article. I, unlike others, don't feel the need to bait with my titles and I use what the author used. But thanks.

Edited March 15, 2013 by Evylin

[Danno 1,228]

It's not related to the story in the article at all. Reported.

My title, by the way, is the title of the article. I, unlike others, don't feel the need to bait with my titles and I use what the author used. But thanks.

I am soooo tempted to make a sexist statement, but I will refrain.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I am soooo tempted to make a sexist statement, but I will refrain.

Good for you.

[^_^ 5,021]

Daily Kos ties this issue and the topic of empathy together:

Of course, this has been the whole rationale of the gay rights movement's effort to talk LGBT people into come out—the more people know a non-straight friend or family member, the harder it is for them to discriminate.

So yay for Portman's conversion, except he's known for two years. So why did it take him so long to come around? Because he was a front-runner for the GOP vice presidential nomination and couldn't actually endanger that with a premature conversion. So he went along with his party's gay bashing until it was no longer politically damaging to do so.

...

But still, he's undoubtedly a better person now than he was pre-conversion. Like Sen. Mark Kirk, who decided that perhaps Medicaid wasn't such a bad thing after he suffered a debilitating stroke and enjoyed great rehab services from his sweet, sweet government-provided health care.

So that's the ultimate difference between Democrats and Republicans—they are assh0les until they are personally affected by one of their assh0le policies. Democrats employ this thing called "empathy" instead. We don't have to be gay to value equality, or brown to fight against racism, or a woman to fight for women's issues, or poor to fight for the underclass.

But speaking of the poor, they'll unfortunately always be on the outs with Republicans. Because while Republicans may end up with gay family members or friends, or while they or someone they love could suffer catastrophic illness, none of them will suddenly pop out a poor son. And as for poor people around them, those are called "the help."

[Karee 4,190]

It's long been understood that "conservatism" is a three legged stool.

-Social issues

-Limiting the size of Got'

-Strong Defense.

remove anyone leg and you no longer have a stool.

Wonder what that three legged LIBERAL stool would consist of... and guesses?

That's why a conservative will never be president again. Social Issues. As long as they keep beating that 1950s drum, they'll never be in the white house again. Who really cares if homosexuals want to get married? I don't. Personally, I think it's more of a "look at me, I'm gay" thing more than anything else, but it doesn't affect my life. Same with Polygamy. Why should I care? I have enough problems dealing with one wife. If some dumba$$ wants to marry 5 women, good luck! It doesn't affect my life.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Who really cares if homosexuals want to get married? I don't. Personally, I think it's more of a "look at me, I'm gay" thing more than anything else,

I care. Personally, I think it's more of a "give us the same rights everyone else has" thing more than anything else.

[Karee 4,190]

I care. Personally, I think it's more of a "give us the same rights everyone else has" thing more than anything else.

Are you homosexual? If not, then how does it affect you?

[JensJrny2Ray 367]

I am soooo tempted to make a sexist statement, but I will refrain.

Why stop now?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Are you homosexual? If not, then how does it affect you?

No. Am I only allowed to care about issues that directly affect me, though?

It might one day. I might have friends who want to get married and can't. I might have children who are gay and want to get married and can't. Even if neither of those things happen, I'll still care. I care that people are treated equally, even if I am not one of the groups being wronged.

[Karee 4,190]

No. Am I only allowed to care about issues that directly affect me, though?

It might one day. I might have friends who want to get married and can't. I might have children who are gay and want to get married and can't. Even if neither of those things happen, I'll still care. I care that people are treated equally, even if I am not one of the groups being wronged.

Sure. You're allowed to care about anything you want. Me, I don't care. I have better things to do. Like teaching James English.