Waiting for the interview

[Redvelvet215 3]

Oh my I can not wait until we have this interview and we get married because this long distance is straining. When I met him I was laid off my job, so I attend cosmetology school and I work in the salon part time and because I had all this extra time and extra money I was able to him every 3 months and everything was perfect but, then I got a new job and with this new job I am not able to take anytime off because I haven't worked long enough to gain vacation time so, I started seeing him once a year usually in January well, now I moved to a new city close to my job and put in more overtime, trying to prepare for the interview and pay bills, and missing him so much that now I stress more then ever. We argue all the time on the phone. Well, not all the time but, more then we ever have and we say we argue. I really mean I start the argument. He know longer have internet so we are reduce to phone conversations which is very hard because I so use to the webcam chat. With all this I hate what I have become because I feel so alone in this situation. It's only 6 more weeks to go but it feels like a year. Wow, I just wanted to vent that's all. lol.

[SamanthaL 45]

Oh my I can not wait until we have this interview and we get married because this long distance is straining. When I met him I was laid off my job, so I attend cosmetology school and I work in the salon part time and because I had all this extra time and extra money I was able to him every 3 months and everything was perfect but, then I got a new job and with this new job I am not able to take anytime off because I haven't worked long enough to gain vacation time so, I started seeing him once a year usually in January well, now I moved to a new city close to my job and put in more overtime, trying to prepare for the interview and pay bills, and missing him so much that now I stress more then ever. We argue all the time on the phone. Well, not all the time but, more then we ever have and we say we argue. I really mean I start the argument. He know longer have internet so we are reduce to phone conversations which is very hard because I so use to the webcam chat. With all this I hate what I have become because I feel so alone in this situation. It's only 6 more weeks to go but it feels like a year. Wow, I just wanted to vent that's all. lol.

Hang in there! It's almost over for you!

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Oh my I can not wait until we have this interview and we get married because this long distance is straining. When I met him I was laid off my job, so I attend cosmetology school and I work in the salon part time and because I had all this extra time and extra money I was able to him every 3 months and everything was perfect but, then I got a new job and with this new job I am not able to take anytime off because I haven't worked long enough to gain vacation time so, I started seeing him once a year usually in January well, now I moved to a new city close to my job and put in more overtime, trying to prepare for the interview and pay bills, and missing him so much that now I stress more then ever. We argue all the time on the phone. Well, not all the time but, more then we ever have and we say we argue. I really mean I start the argument. He know longer have internet so we are reduce to phone conversations which is very hard because I so use to the webcam chat. With all this I hate what I have become because I feel so alone in this situation. It's only 6 more weeks to go but it feels like a year. Wow, I just wanted to vent that's all. lol.

I agree that it's a frustrating experience but I beleive it's also a learning experience.

The best advice that I can give you is what I do. I try to separate the conversations. So today we might go over the immigration stuff then the next few days are all focused on ourselves. I just listen to her and whenever the conversation strays to immigration then we both remind ourselves that this call is not about that but about us as a couple. Frankly I think too many folks on VJ (well at least in the effects forum) loose sight of that. So try to focus on yourselves once in a while and let the process do its thing.

[TnJ 131]

I agree that it's a frustrating experience but I beleive it's also a learning experience.

The best advice that I can give you is what I do. I try to separate the conversations. So today we might go over the immigration stuff then the next few days are all focused on ourselves. I just listen to her and whenever the conversation strays to immigration then we both remind ourselves that this call is not about that but about us as a couple. Frankly I think too many folks on VJ (well at least in the effects forum) loose sight of that. So try to focus on yourselves once in a while and let the process do its thing.

Good advice! This can certainly be more frustrating if you spend most of your time just thinking about a pending petition that may or may not be adjudicated in a time frame expected. OP, you are not alone in these squabbles with the SO either. Waiting for an answer from USCIS is tough to deal with especially if you are already a busy and somewhat productive person. It can be tough to deal with the fact that you have no control in the matter at certain stages. Rather than racking my brain over something that is out of my hands and letting it cause more unnecessary strain on the relationship, I found it best to accept what it is and roll with it. In my mind, I knew it was only a matter of time, and that is it! It is just time. No need to fret over several months, if a couple can make it long distance over a period of years just loving each other without immigration on the mind.

[filipinaasian 5]

Good advice! This can certainly be more frustrating if you spend most of your time just thinking about a pending petition that may or may not be adjudicated in a time frame expected. OP, you are not alone in these squabbles with the SO either. Waiting for an answer from USCIS is tough to deal with especially if you are already a busy and somewhat productive person. It can be tough to deal with the fact that you have no control in the matter at certain stages. Rather than racking my brain over something that is out of my hands and letting it cause more unnecessary strain on the relationship, I found it best to accept what it is and roll with it. In my mind, I knew it was only a matter of time, and that is it! It is just time. No need to fret over several months, if a couple can make it long distance over a period of years just loving each other without immigration on the mind.

What an awesome advice. I totally agree with Todd and Jess. You are not alone. Waiting is really tough, and the more you think about when your petition will be adjudicated, the slower the result. And it will just give you more stress. I've felt the same way with you, but I realized that if it is our time, then it will come. So be positive, relax and enjoy yourself while waiting for your petition to be approved. After all, it will arrive the least you expect.

[Cris&Gaspar 2]

Hey, I'm in the same situation. My husband just got layed off his job and I have been paying for everything and today he told me he has to pay 350$ at the medical office and I got soo pissed cause Ive been telling him for months to be prepared financially and I can't understand how he had no $$ saved. I've given up soo much for this relationship and my interview is in about 2 weeks but I feel drained-financial and emotionally!! I love him but is it worth it and everyone is soo negative telling me that he'll just come and leave me I guess within time well know ..

[Frances&Bryan 6]

Oh my I can not wait until we have this interview and we get married because this long distance is straining. When I met him I was laid off my job, so I attend cosmetology school and I work in the salon part time and because I had all this extra time and extra money I was able to him every 3 months and everything was perfect but, then I got a new job and with this new job I am not able to take anytime off because I haven't worked long enough to gain vacation time so, I started seeing him once a year usually in January well, now I moved to a new city close to my job and put in more overtime, trying to prepare for the interview and pay bills, and missing him so much that now I stress more then ever. We argue all the time on the phone. Well, not all the time but, more then we ever have and we say we argue. I really mean I start the argument. He know longer have internet so we are reduce to phone conversations which is very hard because I so use to the webcam chat. With all this I hate what I have become because I feel so alone in this situation. It's only 6 more weeks to go but it feels like a year. Wow, I just wanted to vent that's all. lol.

u are not alone in this! im in the same situation! i told my fiance the same thing...that the reason we argue so much is because of the long distance thing. and yea, i mean IM the one picking fights mostly too :'(

but we keep telling each other that the distance is NOT going to win!!!

just be patient and take it ONE DAY AT A TIME! it helps me out, anyway.

just remember though, u are not the only one going through this! and u are soooo close!! keep being strong!! i just started MY process and have a long way to go... :/

[Frances&Bryan 6]

Hey, I'm in the same situation. My husband just got layed off his job and I have been paying for everything and today he told me he has to pay 350$ at the medical office and I got soo pissed cause Ive been telling him for months to be prepared financially and I can't understand how he had no $$ saved. I've given up soo much for this relationship and my interview is in about 2 weeks but I feel drained-financial and emotionally!! I love him but is it worth it and everyone is soo negative telling me that he'll just come and leave me I guess within time well know ..

hi! my fiance got layed off his job as well maybe about a month ago!! and im the one paying for most of the stuff too. atleast ur interview is 2 weeks away! thats very exciting!!!

and dont worry, every speculates the same thing, about my fiance coming here then leaving me!! they're not forward about it, they just ask questions like are u sure he loves u, this and that!

and i just say the same thing, only time will tell

[Redvelvet215 3]

I agree that it's a frustrating experience but I beleive it's also a learning experience.

The best advice that I can give you is what I do. I try to separate the conversations. So today we might go over the immigration stuff then the next few days are all focused on ourselves. I just listen to her and whenever the conversation strays to immigration then we both remind ourselves that this call is not about that but about us as a couple. Frankly I think too many folks on VJ (well at least in the effects forum) loose sight of that. So try to focus on yourselves once in a while and let the process do its thing.

Thanks that is some great advice. I really lost focus on things but, I will try to put more focus on the relationship on less on the visa. I do not want to loose him on something so petty.

u are not alone in this! im in the same situation! i told my fiance the same thing...that the reason we argue so much is because of the long distance thing. and yea, i mean IM the one picking fights mostly too :'(

but we keep telling each other that the distance is NOT going to win!!!

just be patient and take it ONE DAY AT A TIME! it helps me out, anyway.

just remember though, u are not the only one going through this! and u are soooo close!! keep being strong!! i just started MY process and have a long way to go... :/

Wow thank you.

[Redvelvet215 3]

Hey, I'm in the same situation. My husband just got layed off his job and I have been paying for everything and today he told me he has to pay 350$ at the medical office and I got soo pissed cause Ive been telling him for months to be prepared financially and I can't understand how he had no $$ saved. I've given up soo much for this relationship and my interview is in about 2 weeks but I feel drained-financial and emotionally!! I love him but is it worth it and everyone is soo negative telling me that he'll just come and leave me I guess within time well know ..

Wow, I feel. I get people saying that too but, I have one good friend she is Dominican and she married an american man. She tell me all the time that all Dominican men are not bad and once he come to the united states things will get better. The only problem I have is I am a workaholic. I work at a manufacturing coming making medical supplies so I work 12 hours a night but, Get a rotation of 3 to 4 days off and my days off I tend to always find myself back at work. Theonly thing she keep saying over and over when he get here try not to work to much because he will start to get lonely and that's when the probvlems happen but, other then she is very supportive.

What an awesome advice. I totally agree with Todd and Jess. You are not alone. Waiting is really tough, and the more you think about when your petition will be adjudicated, the slower the result. And it will just give you more stress. I've felt the same way with you, but I realized that if it is our time, then it will come. So be positive, relax and enjoy yourself while waiting for your petition to be approved. After all, it will arrive the least you expect.

Thank you so much.

Hang in there! It's almost over for you!

Thank you.