Don't Hide Things from your Fiancée'

[Removed-02242014 19]

If any of you guys have some skeletons in the closet I suggest you clear them before your fiancée gets to the U.S. Embassy interview. My fiancée said there was a Pinay there who just found out from the consulate that her man had a criminal record and prison time. My fiancée' said she broke down in complete tears and shame. You need to understand that a criminal record in the Philippines is a much more shameful event than most other countries.

The Embassy immediately put her case on review based on her reaction to the events they shared with her. That automatically adds another 60 days to your wait time.

Another girl had found out that her fiancée was owing the federal government more than $45 in back taxes and she was having withdraw discussions with other Filipinas in the Embassy too.

Therefore --- if you love this woman, you better let her know everything about yourself before she finds out from your background checks. ALSO - Make sure she has every single bit of paperwork she needs because there were several 221G cases documented for lack of evidence.

Edited October 27, 2012 by Mark-n-Luz

[rlogan 2,036]

It's a lot more grave than getting through an interview. It is the cruelty of pretending to be someone you are not and forcing them to deal with discovering they are married to a con-man.

[Tintin and Mike 127]

I'm pretty transparent and my book is out in the open with Mike. But yeah, that's shocking to find out from other people about something when you least expect it.

[thinkerlove0212 158]

If any of you guys have some skeletons in the closet I suggest you clear them before your fiancée gets to the U.S. Embassy interview. My fiancée said there was a Pinay there who just found out from the consulate that her man had a criminal record and prison time. My fiancée' said she broke down in complete tears and shame. You need to understand that a criminal record in the Philippines is a much more shameful event than most other countries.

The Embassy immediately put her case on review based on her reaction to the events they shared with her. That automatically adds another 60 days to your wait time.

Another girl had found out that her fiancée was owing the federal government more than $45 in back taxes and she was having withdraw discussions with other Filipinas in the Embassy too.

Therefore --- if you love this woman, you better let her know everything about yourself before she finds out from your background checks. ALSO - Make sure she has every single bit of paperwork she needs because there were several 221G cases documented for lack of evidence.

[X Factor 1,110]

Yes she should know all the major things in your live. The love from your fiancee is intense and she will give you all her heart. So be honest with her.

[elyhim 41]

Any relationship requires honesty and openness. It simply won't work if you don't have it.

[actob99 156]

That is exactly the reason for this process and the lengthy wait. Good thing she found out before leaving home..

[CatSam 0]

Mark-n-Luz ur fiancé and I had the same interview date. Yes, we were shocked w/ those stories, sad

[madtownguy 164]

I thought you couldn't do a visa with a criminal record... You can't possibly tell your fiance everything, I think it's better to just have them prepared so if they hear something they don't over react... then you're covered! I don't think my fiance knows what I do really, it's not important and she will never understand it just like any other girl I've dated. I think the correct response if someone says did you know your fiance.... is to say no we didn't talk about that but I'm sure he or she will bring it up when it makes sense. You should trust the other person, not telling someone something is not lying. It's a good prep for interview this post, who knows what the heck they could have in government files or what they feel is note worthy.

[Hank_ 9,173]

[rlogan 2,036]

I thought you couldn't do a visa with a criminal record... You can't possibly tell your fiance everything, I think it's better to just have them prepared so if they hear something they don't over react... then you're covered!

You can't tell them "everything", so omitting major facts is OK? This is exactly the kind of rationalization a person needs to flee from.

I don't think my fiance knows what I do really, it's not important and she will never understand it just like any other girl I've dated.

Yeah, girls are stupid. I'm thinking this is a trolling post, not serious.

I think the correct response if someone says did you know your fiance.... is to say no we didn't talk about that but I'm sure he or she will bring it up when it makes sense. You should trust the other person, not telling someone something is not lying. It's a good prep for interview this post, who knows what the heck they could have in government files or what they feel is note worthy.

Not telling something important is called a lie by omission. That is why the oath in a courtroom is to tell the WHOLE truth. You can be prosecuted for purjury by leaving out something pertinent.

So I just want to make it clear that this lie by omission is a concept formally recognized for centuries by society, and it is only a con-man who makes up this excuse for lying to his fiance. We also understand this is a rationalization is a lie. The truth is that the con-man conceals who he really is because the fiance would reject him if he was honest.

So it is a lie to conceal. It is a lie to tell this rationalization for the lie. And the person doing this can be counted on to lie, lie, lie about far too much to be trusted.

[adiiann 163]

Two cents...

It's not because you're in love, you have an excuse for being dumb. It's not because you inquire and want to know every single details, you don't trust him.

"Caution is better than cure."

There are women ignore the signs of dishonesty and keep being ignorant as it's easy to do than to deal with it till it hit them in their faces. Some of the reasons is because the convenience of having such man.

[TnJ 131]

Mark-n-Luz, thank you so much for this post. I was already quite aware of some things that needed disclosure concerning my history, and I am more open and honest with my fiancee than I am with anyone! However, your post prompted me to check something I hadn't even thought about. That is if I owed any taxes. I was late paying my state taxes one year. I thought I had payed the balance due. However, state revenue services don't seem to work as fast as IRS in delivering delinquent information. After reading your post, I created an online tax payer account and discovered that I still owed the state! I immediately sent in a request for payment and printed the records. Thanks a bunch for making me think of something I thought I had already covered!

Edited October 30, 2012 by ToddnJessa

[TnJ 131]

I thought you couldn't do a visa with a criminal record... You can't possibly tell your fiance everything

YES! The petitioner can petition with a criminal record. The I-129F ask to answer if you have been convicted of the certain crimes listed under IMBRA. If so, you would comply by sending the certified court and police records. This does not automatically disqualify the petitioner. In my case, I had a couple minor charges dating back the earliest at 10 years ago, and the other one at about 16 years ago. Although I did not fall under the IMBRA requirements, my fiancee still knows as much as I know about these charges. With the oldest charge, I can't remember every single detail, and it is not on my record. However, I remember what I was charged for, the date(same day my grandfather died), my plea, and anything that came of it. If I can remember these things, my fiancee should indeed know this!

Edited October 30, 2012 by TnJ

[madtownguy 164]

See TnJ has a perfect example, you can't tell someone everything. It's not a lie when you don't tell someone something, I don't know what world you live in rlogan, oh Alaska figures... Well here in the real world mistakes happen, things get on your record by accident sometimes. It's better to get your fiance to trust you and if she or he finds out you're a killer not to over react. Obviously I'm being dramatic, but still point being there are lots of things the government might think to tell your fiance that you might not thing is important. It's not a lie to not tell someone every single detail about your life, I don't like talking about the past it bores me. I certainly don't think my fiance would appreciate me telling her about every girl I've dated, so I tell her about important ones and leave the rest out. What about DUIs? Lots of people have them, should you tell your fiance something so trivial? BTW when you go to court you only have to tell the truth, not the truth about everything that happened in your entire life. If you trust each other you should be able to rationally hear a story about the other person and either say yes I knew or play it off like it's no big deal and address it with that person. Owing back taxes in my opinion is like having a missed payment on your credit record, who cares? Should I tell my fiance I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago? I don't think so my credit score is already over 700 and it was a financially smart decision. My fiance and I have one common goal, to have kids and start a family. Unless her or I have a child abuse record nothing else should matter...