K-1 in progress--might not use it tho?

[Jesse_Dylan 0]

Hi, I'm really sorry for the confusing topic.

Basically, we have a K-1 almost completed, but the fact of the matter is that my fiancee has her heart set on going to school in England (where she is native). We want to finish the K-1 just in case she can't get into school there. However, I think she definitely will be able to get in, and I personally feel if she were to come here instead, she wouldn't be satisfied.

I have a few questions, and they are, or might, both be off-topic. I'm sorry about that, too. I'm not thinking particularly clearly.

First off, if I was somehow able to move to the UK, and once she was done with school we decided to go back to the US, how would we accomplish this? We would be married at this point, so could we get a K-3 visa for her to come back to the US, despite me being in the UK? Or would I have to move back to the US first and spend a year apart getting a K-3 visa? (That would be awful.)

Secondly, and this is definitely off-topic (but maybe someone can point me to where to go)--I do not currently see any way for me to move to the UK. They did at one point have a spousal visa, so I figured we could get married here, then get me a spousal visa to come to the UK. They've changed the rules now, however, and my sponsor, who could only be my wife (fiancee at the moment), would need to either make $30,000 a year (US conversion-- 18,600 pounds is the actual amount, I believe), or have $100,000 US (60,000 pounds) in savings in order to sponsor me. As she is a student, obviously she doesn't make that kind of money or have that kind of money. Is there even any way for me to get into the UK?

I feel like a wet noodle stuck to a wall at this point, totally gutted. I can't go to be with her in the UK, and I also can't ask her to give up on her school and come to be with me in the US, so it seems we'll continue being apart, which is something I don't know if either of us can tolerate.

Thanks for any advice you can offer, and once again, I'm sorry for being off-topic. I chose this just because I originally had been going for the K-1, which it now looks like we won't even need. If we were apart, she would hopefully be able to come visit me when she had breaks, and based on the fact that she was a student, hopefully they'd let her into the US without much question, even if I were her husband at the time.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Hi, I'm really sorry for the confusing topic.

Basically, we have a K-1 almost completed, but the fact of the matter is that my fiancee has her heart set on going to school in England (where she is native). We want to finish the K-1 just in case she can't get into school there. However, I think she definitely will be able to get in, and I personally feel if she were to come here instead, she wouldn't be satisfied.

Was her desire to go to school in the UK discussed prior to starting the petition process? In looking at your timeline, I noticed you're still waiting for the petition to be approved, so there's still quite a bit more time between the petition being approved to when she'll go for the visa interview. When will she definitively know her school status?

I have a few questions, and they are, or might, both be off-topic. I'm sorry about that, too. I'm not thinking particularly clearly.

First off, if I was somehow able to move to the UK, and once she was done with school we decided to go back to the US, how would we accomplish this? We would be married at this point, so could we get a K-3 visa for her to come back to the US, despite me being in the UK? Or would I have to move back to the US first and spend a year apart getting a K-3 visa? (That would be awful.)

The K-3 visa is essentially obsolete. Your option would be the IR-1/CR-1 spousal visa. If you are able to legally stay in the UK, then the DCF would also be an option, but...

Secondly, and this is definitely off-topic (but maybe someone can point me to where to go)--I do not currently see any way for me to move to the UK. They did at one point have a spousal visa, so I figured we could get married here, then get me a spousal visa to come to the UK. They've changed the rules now, however, and my sponsor, who could only be my wife (fiancee at the moment), would need to either make $30,000 a year (US conversion-- 18,600 pounds is the actual amount, I believe), or have $100,000 US (60,000 pounds) in savings in order to sponsor me. As she is a student, obviously she doesn't make that kind of money or have that kind of money. Is there even any way for me to get into the UK?

...the likelihood of you being able to stay in the UK beyond a tourist visit is not likely given your fiancée's financial situation. I highly recommend reading this pinned thread in the UK forum for more information.

I feel like a wet noodle stuck to a wall at this point, totally gutted. I can't go to be with her in the UK, and I also can't ask her to give up on her school and come to be with me in the US, so it seems we'll continue being apart, which is something I don't know if either of us can tolerate.

This isn't just about you. She will need to make a decision and it seems that's where the sticking point lies from what you've written. Either she wants to go to school in the UK and be apart from you longer or the two of you proceed with the K-1 process and she can pick up schooling in the US. Is there something specific that she's studying where there isn't an equivalent in the US?

Thanks for any advice you can offer, and once again, I'm sorry for being off-topic. I chose this just because I originally had been going for the K-1, which it now looks like we won't even need. If we were apart, she would hopefully be able to come visit me when she had breaks, and based on the fact that she was a student, hopefully they'd let her into the US without much question, even if I were her husband at the time.

Regardless, if the decision is made to be apart while she goes to school, she should still plan on bringing plenty of proof that she will return to the UK. Plus, the fact that you've filed a K-1 shows there is some intent to move to the U.S., so she'll need to be completely upfront with customs if they ask beyond the cursory questions.

[Jesse_Dylan 0]

It was always her intent to go to school in the UK, but we were unsure about the timetable. I just naively assumed things would work out. I thought maybe we'd live here a year or three, then move to the UK together. She's not studying anything in particular that she can't study here, but she wants to go to a particular school in England. She's taking some resits in January, but I'm sure she'll be able to get into her school.

Our K-1 at the moment--we just recently sent back to the US Embassy in London the paperwork they requested. She needs to do her medical exam now, then the interview. She's planning to come to the US again in February or March. If she wants to go to school in England, she won't stay (in which case we wouldn't need the K-1 visa anyway).

If she goes to school in England, and we're apart for that time, I figure we'll go through the visa process again a year or so before she plans to come to the US. If the laws change, I'll move to England in the meantime, and then we'll either stay there or come back to the US together.

So complicated! Sorry.

And yes, if she couldn't come visit while she's going to school, that would be pretty bad. I've been to England four times now (in the last <365 days!), but I've just started a new job, and they're not able to be as flexible. I can't just take two weeks off at a time and go to England, so I don't know when/if I'd be able to visit her.

I think once she gets results back from her resits, she'll know her school status. I'm not sure when she'd know if she was accepted. If she wasn't accepted at her school, I think she'd probably want to just come here instead (or at least it would be a possibility). I don't see any reason she wouldn't be accepted, though, really.

Hopefully that answers everything. I will take a look at the link you gave me, and I'll also research the other visas you mentioned! Thanks very much for the reply.

I wish she'd see how much simpler and more practical it would be for her to come here and go to school here, but I don't want her to resent it for the rest of her life or be unhappy. I have to accept her desire to go to the school of her choice. We're both miserable apart, though.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Your situation isn't really that complicated. It comes down to what your fiancée wants to do and when -- either go to the school of her choice or move forward with the K-1 visa, which would mean moving (and going to school) in the US sooner.

The former will include much more time apart than the latter, of course. I do think the waffling about on what to do should have been decided far earlier, however, but that's between you and she. However, one other implication to investigate is if the K-1 is issued and she arrives in the US, but then leaves, she will definitely have a harder time getting back in for a visit without another visa. I believe the VWP option goes away post-K-1, so whatever decision is made should be done before the K-1 is issued. Otherwise, you will be the one having to travel to the UK until she's ready to re-enter the US on a spousal visa.

Also, update your timeline to show where you are in the process. That's why I thought you were still waiting for the petition to be approved.

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

You can ask for a delay at London and not get the visa until she makes up her mind. Hold off on the medical exam and interview. No sense spending another $700 to get a visa good for 90 days. Probably not wise to marry in the 90 days if she's going to leave for 3-4 years. She needs to be a Uni student if that's what she chooses and not a long distance wife. People change during those times and don't always want the same things by the end. Make the marriage decision when she is 100% sure she wants to move immediately to the US.

You are correct about moving to the UK. You understand the new rules and don't qualify.

[Jesse_Dylan 0]

I suppose I was thinking that using the visa for 90 days might be our last chance to see each other if they really won't let her into the country anymore. But obviously what I'd prefer is if she were able to visit me in the US whenever she has a break at school.

Do I just e-mail them to ask for a delay? With visa or without, she wants to come for 88 days (or whatever) in February or March. The original plan way back when, was that she'd come in June 2012 and stay until August 2013, but we obviously found out quickly that that's simply not how things work. If we could find some way for her to stay here from March until August 2013, we'd do it, but I don't think there is any way.

I did also think that if the laws change and I can move to the UK (like if they go back to the previous scheme for spouses), being married would make that easier. Maybe that's just an excuse since we really, really want to be married. Even if we only saw each other for two weeks twice a year (hopefully that won't be the case), I'd like to be married to her. So unless there's some kind of reason not to be married, like it would make it harder to visit each other, I would like to be married. But maybe we'll decide to hold off, like you said.

This whole thing has been the biggest challenge of my life. I doubt many people (especially between the US and the UK) actually fall in love on purpose, but it happens, and maybe once in a while, for two really special, lucky people, it happens really powerfully. I know lovestruck people often say things like this and talk about how being apart from their love is miserable. She's the love of my life, though. No one falls in love with someone 4000 miles away on purpose, but when it happens, you don't just throw it away either.

Just ranting at this point. Sorry. It's been a really hard day, a really hard couple of days actually. She was here from June 28 until September 24, and then we went back to England together, and I returned to the US alone October 10.

Edited October 13, 2012 by Jesse_Dylan

[LeftCoastLady 441]

I suppose I was thinking that using the visa for 90 days might be our last chance to see each other if they really won't let her into the country anymore. But obviously what I'd prefer is if she were able to visit me in the US whenever she has a break at school.

Do I just e-mail them to ask for a delay? With visa or without, she wants to come for 88 days (or whatever) in February or March. The original plan way back when, was that she'd come in June 2012 and stay until August 2013, but we obviously found out quickly that that's simply not how things work. If we could find some way for her to stay here from March until August 2013, we'd do it, but I don't think there is any way.

There is a way for that to work...proceed with the K-1 visa as planned where she'll move to the US with the intention of staying for the long-term. Do not use the K-1 visa as a "see each other" visa. If all that is left is the medical exam, then do as Nich-Nick says and contact the Embassy to ask for a delay as soon as possible.

Edited October 13, 2012 by LeftCoastLady